Letter to MP’s, and their responses
This is a Letter that I sent to 13 Diffrent MP’s from diffrent political parties but I tried to focus on the Ministers/Spokespersons for Justice, Courts, Social Development etc.
I have recived some intresting replys, including a Labour MP asking if she can foward my letter on to the Legal Aid Review Panel, and also my local MP asking me to Meet with him on the 27th. The Letter is below, and the responses ill put in separate replies
RE: Family Court, Legal Aid
Dear Dr Wayne Mapp
 I am writing to you today, to express my concern regarding the Family Court System, in particular how it treats fathers when it comes to Day to Day Care and Contact Cases.
 I am 24 Years old, and have being going though the Family Court for over 2 years trying to Day to Day Care of my Son, or at the very least regular predicable access.
 Prior to me and my ex separating, I was the primary caregiver for my son since he was 3 months old, till he was 22 months old when we separated, and yet when a lawyer for child was appointed, he mentioned It would be in my sons best interests to stick with the status quo, and to stay with his mother because she had him in her Day to Day care for the prior 4 months while we were going though the court process.
 I have made numerous applications, and allegations, and due to how slow the court is to respond to any allegations that are made eg Drug use, and because the allegation must be automatically sent to the other party in question, by the time the court gets around to ordering a drug test, the other party has had up to 3 months to get clean.
 Throughout the Court Process, my ex was able to sit on the DPB, and be a stay at home mum, go drinking on the weekends, do a bit of weed with my son in the house, and even had a live in partner while still on the DPB, with her partner on an unemployment benefit.
 While I had to work up to 6 Days a week, trying to support myself, as well as pay child support, as well as a few hundred dollars a month to have contact with my son once a month and attend court. My ex was able to spend 24 hours a day with my son, also been able to get legal aid so all she had to worry about each day was to spend time with my son and let her lawyer deal with the legal side of it.
 About a year into the case, we finally got referred to mediation and came up with a pretty good agreement. But due to me joining the Defense Force and undertaking basic training, I had to organise an alternative agreement while in basic training which then lead to a disagreement over Christmas contact.
 My ex then contravened the Contact Order for the Christmas period, in which I was left $700 out of pocket in airfares. When I put an application for Costs in, the Judge simply said, there is no way I am going to find in favor of you due to her been on Legal aid.
 Which essentially tells me that If you are on Legal aid, a court order does not apply to you as if you break it, nothing is going to happen to you.Â
 In July we came up with another agreement, but due to my ex preventing me having contact over a period of 7 months, I had to be “Reintroduced” to my son prior to having him at my house, and since that agreement in July, there has already been 5 Contraventions of the Order Regarding phone Contact, and the payment towards airfares, which due to the contravention put me another $80 out of pocket.
 When I last saw my son, I became aware of Parental Alienation, and saw some disturbing pictures that my son had drawn for me one of which I have attached, and am worried that if the parental alienation continues for much longer, it will create irreversible damage to the relationship between my son and I.Â
 I am due to have contact again in a couple of weeks, but with the 5 contraventions so far, things my ex has said and even not getting confirmation after requesting written confirmation of contact taking place though her lawyer, I am not confident that it will take place and am worried that I will be another $400 out of pocket.
 I am getting to the point where it is becoming too much for me to cope with, both financially and emotionally, I am getting to a point where I will just give up the fight to just talk to him, I will always send him birthday and Christmas cards, I will keep all the documentation that has gone though the court, so that one day when he is older, if he comes to me and says Why didn’t you want me, I can show him different.
 Talking to other Men in similar situations, the stories are almost exactly the same, some men have protection orders against them, and are treated as criminals until proven innocent, I’ve heard of lots of men at the point where they are ready to commit suicide because the court is so biased towards females, that the only times that men seem to have Day to Day care is where the Woman just doesn’t want anything to do with the kids.
 Unlike a lot of the Men I have talked to, I have started a new Family, and now have a 14 Month Old Daughter, and another son on the way, however I still think of my Son constantly, and miss him dearly, some people might say, well you have other kids, why worry about this one… All my Children are dear to me, and I love spending time with them, I work not to support myself, but to support my Children, to give my children the best opportunities I can in life, and to give my children a role model in their father to look up to. My world revolves indirectly around them, and I love all my children equally, no mater where they are, or how often I see them.
 As you can see from what I have written there is many things in the Family Court System that needs to be adjusted. When I first went into the court, I had read how there was no bias anymore, and that the Care of Children Act 2004 had made it more fair for all involved. This is not the case, there is still a large bias towards females, the Lawyer for Child and Court Appointed Psychologists especially. And this is where judges seem to go towards.
The Legal Aid system creates a loop hole for people on legal aid, to get away with costing their ex’s hundreds and thousands of dollars and not have any repercussions themselves.
 If I could recommend anything towards helping the issues that I have highlighted above is whenever there is a case in the family court, every 3 — 6 months, get them to do a survey on how their experience with the family court has been and if it is anonymous, I’m sure you will receive a lot of real feed back on how the system is actually working.
 I would like to also comment that what I have said is only a brief indication of what I have been going though, you can not possibly put 2 years of a court case into 3 pages, I have about 2 Ring binders full of Documents all relating to the Case. And this is a case with no history of any protection orders, violence, or sexual abuse; imagine what a case would be like with those factors introduced.
 If you have any questions regarding anything I have mentioned above feel free to contact me
Response from Simon Power – Minister of Justice
Dear Mr Wilson
The Hon Simon Power, Minister of Justice, has asked me to thank you for your correspondence of 23 September 2009 regarding the Family Court
The Matters raised fall within the portfolil responsiblities of the Minister for the Courts. I have therefore referred your correspondence to Hon Georgina Te Heuheu for her Consideration
Comment by nzleagle — Sat 24th October 2009 @ 3:59 pm
Response from Georgina Te Heuheu, Minster for Courts
29th September
The Hon Georgina Te Heuheu, Minister for Courts, has asked me to thank you for your correspondence of 23rd September 2009 regarding the Family Court and Legal Aid.
The minister has noted your concerns and you will receive a reply as soon as possible
(still no reply)
Comment by nzleagle — Sat 24th October 2009 @ 4:01 pm
Response from Hon Nathan Guy – Associate Minister of Justice
On behalf of Hon Nathan Guy, thank you for your letter of 23rd September 2009 regarding the Family court system.
As the matter you have raised falls within the portfolio responsibilities of the Minister for Courts, Hon georgina Te Heuheu your letter has been forwarded to her office for consideration
Comment by nzleagle — Sat 24th October 2009 @ 4:03 pm
response from Hon Peter Dunne – Leader of United Future
thank you for your letter of 23rd September 2009 regarding the Family Court and Legal Aid.
I will be happy to take up the matters you have raised with the Minister of Justice and will contact you again when I have his response.
Comment by nzleagle — Sat 24th October 2009 @ 4:04 pm
Response from Hon Paula Bennett
30th September
The Minister for Social Development and Employment, Hon Paula Bennett, has asked me to thank you for your letter of 23rd September 2009 about the Family court System.
The matter you have raised falls within the portfolio responsiblitys of the Minister of Justice. I have therefoure referred your letter to the office of the Hon Simon Power for his consideration.
Comment by nzleagle — Sat 24th October 2009 @ 4:06 pm
Response from Phil Goff, – Leader of the Labour Party
2nd October
I am writing on behalf of the Hon Phil Goff, Leader of the Labour Party to thank you for your letter of 23rd September 2009 about concerns you have with the Family Court and the Legal Aid system.
I will pass your letter to Phil goff and also to Labours Justice Spokesperson, Hon Lianne Dalziel, for consideration
Comment by nzleagle — Sat 24th October 2009 @ 4:08 pm
Response from Hon Rick Parker – Labour List MP
Thank you for your letter of 23 September 2009 concerning your personal experiences within the Family court and with Legal Aid.
Its regrettable that you have not had a better experience in gaining acess to your child.
Breakdowns in relationships can be difficult and very traumatic. It is difficult for any outsider to draw conclusions or make judgements.
As this is a matter before the Court I am reluctant to make any comment on the situation other than to say to you personally that you have shown alot of calm and resolution and I think the best path forward is to continue doing so.
Comment by nzleagle — Sat 24th October 2009 @ 4:12 pm
Another Response from the Hon Peter Dunne – Leader of United future
Further to my letter of 30 September 2009 I have now been advised by the office of the minister of Justice that Hon Simon Power will respond to you directly on the matters you raised recently regarding the Family Court and Legal Aid.
I trust that the ministers response will be of assistance to you
Comment by nzleagle — Sat 24th October 2009 @ 4:14 pm
This would be the most discusting response that I recived….
Response from Dr Rajen Prasad – Labour MP
Thank you for your letter and for reminding me of the issues confronting men in the Family Court. I am not unfamiliar with these points as they have been raised by other men.
You now have a new family and therefore, have your hands full with their needs. All I can say is be the best father you can be to your son and provide him with whatever positive support you can muster.
I will, of course, take up these issues as the parliamentary process allows.
Once again, thank you
Comment by nzleagle — Sat 24th October 2009 @ 4:16 pm
From the worst to the best
Response from David Garrett – Act Justice Spokesman
Thank you for your letter dated 23rd September 2009
In my view the pendulum has swung too far against fathers, and the Family court so often disadvantages them. The presumption that “Mother is best” is clearly not always so.
ACT has always advocated for shared parenting. Dr Muriel Newman, who was ACT’s sokesperson for social welfare untill 2005 was a tireless promoter of the concept of “Shared Parenting” where the starting point for the Family Court in deciding custody of children was that each parent had equal responsiblities and rights. I am currently looking at preparing a Members Bill to continue her work in this area.
As a father who came late to fatherhood I can well understand the distress that being denied the joy of your children must be causing you. May I suggest you contact your local eletroate MP, Dr Wayne Mapp who will better placed than me to provide you with direct assistance. his electroate office is at 15 Anzac Street, Takapuna, tel 09 486 0005 however if I can be of further assistance please get in touch again.
Comment by nzleagle — Sat 24th October 2009 @ 4:21 pm
The above posts are just the letters that I have recived, I also recived a phone call from Liane Dalziel’s assistant asking if she could pass the Letter on to the Legal Aid Review Board as a fist hand account of what happens with Legal Aid in the Family court,
I also recived a phone call from Dr Wayne Mapp Directly, asking me to come and meet with him, and he would get his Family court Lawyer friend to meet with us to to help him understand the goings on, and to give me some options on where to go to from here.
Comment by nzleagle — Sat 24th October 2009 @ 4:24 pm
I could wall paper a 5 bedroom house from letters sent by pollies. They won’t do anything for the FRM!
Comment by dad4justice — Sat 24th October 2009 @ 5:02 pm
I made Dr Rajen Prasad CRY after he read my six thousand word nightmare case written up. Scum family court are corrupt filth and politicians are pathetic wimps!!!!
Comment by dad4justice — Sat 24th October 2009 @ 5:05 pm
Good on ya, to me what he was saying there was give up on your son, and concentrate on your new family
Comment by nzleagle — Sat 24th October 2009 @ 5:12 pm
I like what you’re doing nzleagle. Posting your correspondence here up where everyone can see it let’s us all know more about how our representatives operate. If in our own dealings we recognize repeat language with repeat results, we become less easily silenced by false hope.
Comment by rc — Sat 24th October 2009 @ 7:46 pm
Great work nzeagle.
It’s wonderful to see you outing MPs both those positive and negative/indifferent responses.
Good to see them being posted here as it does show folks the aweful buckpassing that’s going on. Name and fame or shame them i say.
Kia kaha.
Keep going and best wishes to you and family.
Comment by Skeptik — Sun 25th October 2009 @ 10:53 am
I gather you and the ex are in different parts of the country where the child needs to be on a plane to move between you? Yes?
Is it that you have missed one of your promises (when you were with the defence force) and she has missed 5 promises?
What sort of arrangement do you have? What sort of arrangement are you both wanting to have when the child goes to school?
My old neighbours took one child each (they had 2) and swapped them on school holidays because they wanted to live opposite ends of the country. I know of another couple who only have one child to share and they had to come to an agreement so that both new families lived near each other and the child goes to the same school.
I think sometimes you can get a better reply if you get charity groups to write on your behalf. The salvation army writes for fathers as well as budget advice and CABS and I am sure many men’s groups would too. Maybe, just maybe, if the politicians understood exactly what it is you are wanting they could respond a little better.
Just a thought to help you get somewhere rather than spending any more money in the FC.
Comment by julie — Sun 25th October 2009 @ 3:38 pm
You are wasting your time writing to Georgina Te Heuheu. I tried that. She simply defends the system and the Family Court and will fob you off with platitudes.
Comment by Gerry — Mon 26th October 2009 @ 11:35 am
Good luck, but I think you’re being fed some rubbish just to keep you happy and content.
I am a female, I have been through this with my partner for nearly 7 years and you are right. The FC will not give the father day to day care unless the mother has literally kicked the child out.
Which is what happened to my step-daughter, nearly 17, 7 1/2 years ago. Her mother was abusing her psychologically and physically, and she she has always said the psychological abuse was far worse. The brother, now 11, has received the same for 6 years and the mother has gone even further by telling him how to act destructively, drugging him, nearly institutionalising him, and still the FC say “oh there may be alienation from the father because that’s what the mother is saying”.
We’ve written to Simon Power to receive literally no assistance except for steps to take that may be possible while the case is still active.
We’ve written to ministers including John Keys. we’ve got nowhere. Meanwhile the ignorant C4C has now asked for a s19 and it has come to a conclusion of either the child be removed from both parents, or be placed into a CYF home because of the so-called conflict that the FC are saying is the problem.
The ignorant C4C and FC are still in the mind that my partner is just causing problems by wanting day to day care of his son, who continues to be abused by his mother.
The only way for the criminally negligent crimes the FC and Lawyers, report writers etc. have done be exposed and the parties accountable for their crimes, is to open the closed doors to the public eye and see what is really going on.
What is worse, the child subjected to years of abuse etc. or some possible media coverage that lasts a period of a month or so, and then the child placed safe and sound for the rest of the time.
Our only avenue now is to take Judge Druce, Christina Cook and the case to the High Court.
For the sake of the child who now has become so mixed up by the stuff fed to him by the 2 families, (his mother’s and his mother’s husband’s) plus the abuse his mother has done to him, it is the only option.
The child is petrified at being taken away. His mother was not going to even tell him and just leave it until the CYF social worker came and uplifted him. The mother has agreed for him to be taken away, she doesn’t want him near the father, I wonder why?
Her alienation plea wasn’t even affected by the confrontation between her daughter (nearly 17) and herself at the care and protection meeting when the daughter asked her ‘why’.
The mother denied it putting blame on her deceased mother.
What a black hearted banshee.
Comment by sonnyking — Mon 26th October 2009 @ 2:51 pm
sonnyking,
I’m sorry but unsurprised to hear of you and your partner’s distress at the hands of the misandric nz FC and CYFS system.
As distressing as it may be though please keep writing and talking to folks and spreading the knowledge far and wide of such.
For a long time now I’ve thought the political system in nz is skewed in favor of women who can abuse with impunity supported by misguided chivalrists and feminist ideologues.
There’s some simple but cynical maths involved in this too which I tried to explain (not very clearly) in previous posts.
I’ll try again.
Firstly women in nz considerably outnumber men.
Then factor in that they outlive men by approximately 6 – 7 years. So nz women outlive nz men by roughly two voting cycles. Politicians know this.
They are consummate mathematicians.
It’s there job to be.
Nothing wrong with that as they’re supposed to represent and reflect majority public opinion.
But when you put politicians fear of loosing the female voting block together with chivalry and feminist ideology you can only really expect institutionalized misandry as a result.
I can’t emphasize enough therefore the importance that an increasing number of nz women actually do the work of changing things by outing those in positions of authority who abuse and voting for fair-minded politicians instead of simply giving their vote to the politicians who give them yet more. Clearly like many addicts they don’t get enough heat nor yet feel enough pain to want to change.
Lest anyone jump to the conclusion that I’m advocating violence against misandric politicians and others it’s not.
After years of trying to reach nz politicians and women with the message that allot of things need to change to give men and boys their due civil rights and near to suicide I decided that life was too short and precious and moved offshore.
Now my everyday life is free of the toxic and ubiquitous danger of being discriminated against in ways daily described in posts at MENZ. I can hardly begin to describe the relief the move offshore to Asia that has brought. My life went up several gears the day I moved offshore. I’m much happier, healthier and more productive for doing so.
I like to think that one day I will return to a very different NZ.
A NZ where I don’t wake up thinking is this the day I get arrested as a result of false allegations?
Then get convicted on mere heresay?
Is this the day one of my male friends will buckle and suicide?
Is this the day I’ll stop seeing one eyed misandric reporting?
Is this the day I’ll be able to actually fairly criticize a nz female without fear of barbaric retribution? Etc, Etc.
It was a harrowing existence I’m all too glad to be rid of.
My view therefore is that short of some kind of civil war (which I don’t advocate) nz men cannot change things.
It’s incumbent upon women en masse to tip the balance away from corruption towards fairness and civilty.
I hope you’ll therefore take up my challenge to be part of that process.
Comment by Skeptik — Mon 26th October 2009 @ 10:37 pm
Nicely put Skeptik,
I must admit I did chuckle at the way you worded your view, however, on a serious note. Yes the FC do need to be held accountable, and yes the more people, and perhaps the more women that stand up, that say these other women who are abusing the system are worthless, not fit to be mothers as they are purposely using their children as tools to gain whatever fuels their hunger for whatever reason.
How many people are willing to place their names on documents and forward them to Parliament. I have posted here, quite a number of times. I have contacted Government Depts. many times over the years.
I will say that there needs to be a system in place that will look at a problem within the FC while the case is active.
I am sick of the red tape excuse of “We cannot look at your case while it is still live in the FC” and this includes the Children’s Commissioners office as well.
Comment by sonnyking — Mon 26th October 2009 @ 11:00 pm
Hi Skeptik;
I think we should all dream but the reality is that, in our generation, and probably our children’s too… things won’t change.
Would love to hear from you (and others) with regard to offshore countries that men can start afresh. I’ve had it with NZ, I think the best way to deal with the system is to leave the feminists to themselves.. they’ll die out that way…. 🙂
Comment by Movingaway — Mon 26th October 2009 @ 11:53 pm
just hit the bitch is my advise if you have a ex or partner and shes out to lie
an take revenge by use of a protection order in my experience you may as well hit her because the courts are going to punish you weather you do or not
nothing u say will be listened to and everything the women says will be taken as fact based on her word alone… So i say you may as well just hit the bitch and
be punished for a reason…….
Comment by kev — Tue 27th October 2009 @ 2:20 am
I’ve removed three of kev’s other comments promoting violence against women but I’ll leave this one so I can respond.
Firstly, hitting your partner is about the worst tactic I can possibly think of, and my experience is that the courts have always reacted very differently with regard to punishment – a “Male Assaults Female” conviction will almost certainly send you to prison for a start.
I also think Family Courts are becoming less likely to reward this tactic than they have been in the past, although Judges are not consistent. With support from groups such as Union of Fathers, many men sort out a reasonable share of the parenting these days.
I wonder what gender “kev” really is and what his/her motivation is for publishing this on MENZ?
Comment by JohnPotter — Tue 27th October 2009 @ 9:39 am
I agree John. It’s an appalling post from “kev”. My thought was also that it may well be from a feminist person or group seeking to bring the men’s movement into disrepute. Even the name “kev” is just the kind of thing one might expect, and the fact that the same piece was repeatedly posted in several different threads also suggests that the contributor’s intent was other than genuine participation.
If it was from an angry male, my comments are: While anger is a normal emotion and understandable for men in common modern circumstances, recommending domestic violence is stupid and totally unacceptable as far as I’m concerned. Much better to channel anger into legitimate political activity.
I will note that the feminist movement has never had much problem with promoting and/or condoning violence against men. We heard only support from them for Gay Oakes for murdering her husband while he slept in bed at night and seeking to hide his body. I recall a university lecturer who had affairs with (apparently quite willing and legally-aged) female students, who was set upon by a few disgruntled women, tarred and feathered and tied to a tree overnight causing significant injury. That was also seen by all feminists I came across as commendable. And of course the absolutely hilarious Bobbit penis cutting case and the recent gluing of a man’s penis to his stomach. I read not a word from feminists suggesting they held anti-violence philosophies about those genital assaults.
But I strongly condemn “kev’s” message and I’m sure most or all men involved on this site will also find it unacceptable.
Comment by Hans Laven — Tue 27th October 2009 @ 8:03 pm
Stupid suggestion Kev, What possible good can you be parenting from a prison cell??
As John says negotiation is always a better solution.
Comment by [email protected] — Tue 27th October 2009 @ 8:04 pm
Hi Movingaway,
Good to hear from you.
I’ve travelled quite widely through Asia over several years and rarely met up with anti-male attitudes, except from western women that is. Japan, South Korea, Thailand, Laos, Cambodia and China are places I recommend men and women sick of feminist oppression go to. Of course these places are not without thier own limitations but shine like beacons of freedom for those of us who aspire to a life free of the daily anguish of living under gender feminist hegemony.
I’m sure if you search the web you’ll find that other guys will echo such sentiments.
It’s been a big move involving some grief at the loss of some aspects of western lifestyle however overall having now adapted to life here I have no regrets.
If you or others would like more details feel free to post requests for it on this site.
Good luck to you in finding your own safe haven.
Comment by Skeptik — Wed 28th October 2009 @ 12:37 am
Sonnyking,
Thanks for your comments.
I can totally relate to what you’re saying.
Kia Kaha.
Comment by Skeptik — Wed 28th October 2009 @ 12:40 am
Idiotic post Key.
Time you understood the men’s movement isn’t, and has never been a movement advocating violence.
If you indeed a male who’s been abused by feminist like many of us have then I suggest channelling your energy into protest action that doesn’t involve hitting anyone.
If you’re a shitstirring feminist trolling this site then you’re wasting your time. We’ve had them before and dealt with them firmly and respectfully.
Comment by Skeptik — Wed 28th October 2009 @ 12:48 am
Stop posting on this site “Kev” if that is your real name. Frankly I think your posting was a deliberate provocation to discredit this site. I totally condemn and disagree with your suggestion. You bring no credit to our movement by saying such a thing or using such words to describe women. I don’t believe for a minute “Kev” is a genuine person, but a deliberate attempt to discredit us. I agree with Hans, the name “Kev” is a bit of a put on. “Kev’s” posting has “troll” written all over it. I absolutely condemn “his” suggestion and degrading references to women. No one should be hit, no matter what their gender.
Comment by Gerry — Thu 29th October 2009 @ 10:46 pm
The point Kev makes is not entirely focused on physical violence towards women if you read it that it does not mean to hit the woman but means as he quite literally says – it does not make any difference if you do or do not.
I walked out of my house because there was nowhere left to go with argument.
Nine years later and no change: same old same old with the Court still demanding that only it had authority to intervene in what were social problems, not requiring arbitration. An order was the remedy of the day and this remains the status quo — no matter the discrimination.
The point I am making is that I would not resort to physical violence — if I had (which I would not have done) there would have been a different system in place — and I would have been forced to go to anger management and supervised access (my stand of not going to the course because I was never violent would have been irrelevant) would have been paid for and imposed — I would have had to get a lawyer and been dependent on the system. Instead for taking a stand of non violence and principle I haven’t seen my daughter for (how long? 3 -4) years and only sporadic contact with my son.
Kev’s physical claim is obviously intolerable relative to the use of physical violence but the statement of hopelessness in a discriminatory and refusing to budge from that discrimination system is exact. In the Palmerston North case of Lay (or Easton v Family Court) Judge Twaddle makes an ex-parte protection order on a claim from the applicant (lawyer written) of s60 COCA 2004 violence. That means sexual and physical violence against the child. But there was none in the affidavit. The affidavit was cultured by the lawyer and on a close analysis you can see very clearly how the document was stitched together.
New Zealand requires that our judges are better than Judge Twaddle’s decision costing the child his association with his dad. If New Zealand is going to improve its system then we must be prepared to analyze what Kev’s comment really says — otherwise we extinguish a point of view that holds some part of merit. If we do not do this then we excuse that part of a controversy that we have to address. This statement is that if we cannot go to the Court and get access to a fair and just system — then men — (or women for that matter) will take the law into their own hands.
Comment by Benjamin Easton — Thu 29th October 2009 @ 11:22 pm
That Prasad fellow really seems to have had no idea what it was he wasn’t doing in the Families Commission?
Good on you NZleagle – stay strong you are worth it!
Kind regards,
Benjamin Easton
LAOS New Zealand
(of a)father’s coalition
Comment by Benjamin Easton — Thu 29th October 2009 @ 11:30 pm
Legal Aid is a big issue – my own grievance is that I earn too much and don’t qualify. To some degree it keeps some businesses alive as they deal with magistrates courts and the majority who want legal representation aren’t on any income.
Comment by andy @ find solicitors — Sun 1st November 2009 @ 1:56 am
Dear auther
I read your words of concern, pain, helplesness, disbelief, humility, humiliation, truth, blatant injustice and disgust and I am devistated and deeply sadened. I have only moments ago received and read the very long awaited and extremely predictable Judge’s reserved judgment re “our” daughter’s, her mother’s and my two years of time spent in (mostly at and not so much in as our case was being postponed again and again) the “Family Court”.
I was fortunate enough to have discovered this site prior to me having to appear in the Family Court in order to despirately attempt to gain the concent of a Judge of The Family Court to be allowed even as much as a single 1 minute phone conversation per month with Julia who is my biological daughter. Even if it was only to be allowed under the strictest of supervision. I say fortunately because of the fact that I was at the very last made aware of other men’s/father’s similar experiences with regards to blatant injustice and bias against males.
I started off down this road with all the optimism in the world and with a firm trust in my heart that justice will be served given the truth and facts involved in “our” dispute. I was after all only alleged to have lightly pushed my ex after I had ended our relationship and only moments before she walked out of my house with all of her, “our” daughter’s and most of my final belongings. I was a fool. I now know what the words “truth” and justice actually represent in this world which I now sadly find myself barely existing in.
The truth as I have been informed is that I was born a male child. Therefore we are certainly guilty of any and all allegations against us and we will always be. Our time, effort and finances are far better of being spent by investing in the bulk purchase of Waterproof Teabags in the hope that the concept will gain huge support in the distant future.
I have countless absolutely indesputable and factual reasons for stating that the Family Court is a disgusting farce. I will not ever again enter in to another relationship. I will not ever again make the mistake of refuring to my biological daughter as “my” or even “our” child. I now know the truth and that is that I only used to be her father. Now that I am seperated from her mother I have in fact become a mere sperm donor whose eternal unconditional love, devotion, support and commitment for “his” child counts for nothing at all. I am nobody, I have the rite to be arrested on a rediculous allegation, I do not have the rite to plead innocent in the Criminal Court, I am allowed to attend the Family Court where I am guilty untill proven innocent, I am not allowed to defend myself in any way as the very act itself is an “assasination on the applicant’s caracter”, I have the rite to remain silent and I will enjoy absolutely every rite bar remaining silent.
I am a broken man who can never again wake to face the day with a smile on his face. I am a broken man and I can never again enjoy a night of restful sleep.
I thank you Fernanda, The New Zealand Police, The New Zealand Department of Justice, Legal Aid, The New Zealand Criminal Court, The New Zealand Family Court and my incompetant Legal Aid funded Barister.
Comment by Pieter — Sun 1st November 2009 @ 3:52 pm
The author of this thread is asking for contributions for a planned meeting with Dr Wayne Mapp in a thread here. Maybe you might consider contributing there too?
Comment by SicKofNZ — Sun 1st November 2009 @ 4:38 pm
Pieter,
no matter any broader circumstances, for your comments, there is a long way for you to repair. Most hopefully, the person who has control of that is you – no one else. In this you give yourself your reasons for courage and your reason for purpose. Most importantly it is you who sets the path to travel for those simple causes to be strong. It is easy to be courageous when you believe in self and it is easier to have purpose where you have something to prove to your self. The purpose is to be courageous and have strength for your own ability. Otherwise you become a victim and receive more lack of support than before because if others have to prop you up when you are crippled, every time they relax for their own need you will fall down. That is an impossible expectation of those from whom you could seek aid and protection.
You say you have facts and you have research and you have truth. Then you have all that you need to pursue your own strength.
Over the last few days for my own broader circumstances, I slumped into my own pit of absolute despair. The new struggles before me appeared insurmountable when I have not yet struggled over those weakening behind me — there was no pause for rest. Then I remembered that I had a plan and there were no real obstacles in the plan because otherwise it wouldn’t be a plan — it would be about obstacles. Then I discovered that I was stronger than the obstacle in front of me and the plan was still alive. So I can move on. The new obstacles are still around me but so is a path forward, which was the same path that got me to the place facts research and truth. Keep walking dude.
Kind regards,
Benjamin Easton
LAOS New Zealand
(of a0 father’s coalition
Comment by Benjamin Easton — Sun 1st November 2009 @ 4:53 pm
Who was Minister for Courts in the last National Government 1996-99. Her attitude then was “What’s wrong with the Family Court”
Has anything really changed?
Comment by Downunder — Mon 9th November 2009 @ 7:14 pm
Wow, im mid low point at the moment feeling another christmas coming closer and knowing of the stress my partner is facing trying to get his son for xmas for a few hours- holiday…pffft non existant! Youre letter brought me to tears and is very similar to my partners situation. I dont really not what to say other than I hope that you have good support networks around you. I wish you all the best, no man or woman should ever have to go through this! And any woman who puts her child through this should never be allowed to breed again and are hardly mothers
Comment by Leigh-Anne — Wed 11th November 2009 @ 6:06 pm
Minister for Courts is Georgina te Heuheu.
Rick Barker spokesperson for the Courts.
Minister of Justice is Simon Power.
Nathan Guy associate Minister of Justice.
Lianne Dalziel Spokesperson Justice.
Charles Chauvell Associate spokesperson Justice.
Lynne Pillay Associate spokesperson Justice (victims).
Chester Borrows Chairperson Justice and Electoral Committee.
Sandra Goudie Chairperson Law and Order Committee.
Comment by sonnyking — Thu 12th November 2009 @ 11:11 am