MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

Questions Every Father Should Ask

Filed under: General — fatheringadventures @ 6:20 pm Sun 25th January 2009

When did you last have some serious fun with your kids? What about one-on-one time? Was your relationship with your own father all that you dreamt it would be? What will you do today to be the kind of father you had or dreamt about having?


Statistics reveal that 40% of all children will grow up without a father for at least part of their lives. A further 40% of children tell researchers that they don’t feel close to their dads. The biological father is the single most influential person, for better or for worse, in the life of a boy or young man between the ages of 7 and 21. Due to the ever-increasing costs of living however, dads have to spend less time at home, and more in the workplace.


As a result, our boys and young men are growing up with very few male role models today, and so they lack a clear and compelling vision for authentic manhood. Most do not know what a real man does, or how a real man acts, or how a real man treats a woman, or his children, which leads only to further dysfunction.


I’m often asked to offer tips and techniques on how to father well, but we must resist the temptation to treat our relationships like a formula. So my first “tip” for dads would be to become a student of their child… to look, listen, and learn. What does your child love to do? What are his or her dreams? What does your child do well? Where do his or her gifts, talents, and abilities lay?


This requires a significant investment of time, your most precious commodity. In our fast-paced society, time is something that always seems to be in short supply.  Our children are our greatest investments, and all investments require an initial outlay. At the end of your life, will it have been filled with beauty and wonder, intimacy and adventure? A life like that just doesn’t happen… it must be sought after, and fought for.  What will you leave behind? Many store up for themselves things that moth and rust will eventually destroy. Our children are our only true legacy that will remain. We should choose to act now–to make the changes we need to make now–so that the legacy we desire to leave becomes a reality.


It is for this reason I developed the ‘Fathering Adventures’ initiative… providing an environment for dads to simply come, enjoy, succeed, and be equipped for continued success in their relationship with their child.  Can you afford to partake in such an experience? Can you afford not to?


Darren Lewis is the founder and director of Fathering Adventures, located in North Queensland, Australia.  To find out more about this organization, you can visit their website at

No Comments »

No comments yet.

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

Please note that comments which do not conform with the rules of this site are likely to be removed. They should be on-topic for the page they are on. Discussions about moderation are specifically forbidden. All spam will be deleted within a few hours and blacklisted on the stopforumspam database.

This site is cached. Comments will not appear immediately unless you are logged in. Please do not make multiple attempts.

Skip to toolbar