The Second Wives Movement
Often, the fathers’ rights movement is stereotyped as being full of angry guys at war with womankind. Fathers today certainly have a lot to be angry about. However, the fathers’ movement is not at war with women, but instead with the idea held by some women and some men that mothers matter and fathers don’t. Though critics try to avoid mentioning it, women comprise much of the membership of many fathers’ rights and shared parenting organisations around the world.
The largest group of women involved is second wives. The injustices which their husbands endure have propelled many second wives into the men and fathers’ movement.
But, why is this?
Since over half of all first marriages end in divorce, and 75% of divorcees remarry, there are many second wives and second husbands who struggle with the effects of their spouse’s divorces.
Many second wives who marry divorced fathers have little inkling of the malestrom they are entering–custody disputes, access and visitation denial, sudden child support increases, and the burden of legal fees spent on fighting inequities. Some second marriages end in divorce because of these pressures.
“The fathers’ rights movement is the civil rights movement of our era. Some belittle the plight of fathers, saying ‘oh, they’re men, they’re privileged, what have they suffered compared to other groups?’
The truth is; “Men don’t have rights. They never have.” Even animals have rights in New Zealand, but men don’t.
The feminist movement has always been aided by sympathetic men, and New Zealand women and women around they world would never have come so far so fast without their support. While women still face many problems, those problems have received a fair and often extensive public hearing.
Men now need women’s help and second wives have a much better chance of being listened to than their husbands.
One such woman in America is Fathers & Families Volunteer Coordinator Cheryl Quiambao. She organisers supporters and events and speaks to politicians. It is amazing how easily our leaders in government positions and charity groups will listen to a woman compared to a man.
Where’s New Zealand’s second wives? I have often wondered whether second wives feel they are unwelcome to take part in the men’s movement. Yet they are often the best friend a divorced father can have.