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What can you do if what she says are lies
ngapuhistylz201, By ‘she’ I understand you are a male, and either you have a temporary protection order or you have already been served with a final one and contemplating to defend it or discharge it.
Answer to your question: Remain calm. You ex does not tell lies. The SYSTEM does.
There is nothing you can do. The judge will believe her and use the law to serve you with a protection order. You do not need to have done something for the judge to believe her. The law is explicit: She just needs to think it or perceive it. And then there is a gray area of speculation called psychological abuse: the judge will use that just in case everything else fails.
Note: Psychological violence and abuse is a female trait or a trait of the week. Male have their fist if they need to exercise any violence or abuse. Somehow the gender lobby managed to turn the tables and make it used against male in Court without any evidence.
And more importantly a judge as is my case will write in her decision things you did not think or say or even contrary to what you said. Judges have to cover their neck and the easy thing to do is to serve you with a protection orders. The system demands a quota and they have to provide them no matter how. They need ammunitions to defend themselves against the gender lobby that is Women Refuge.
What to do?
0- This is not done only to you. More than half of the males roaming in your town have been served by a protection order.
1- Clearly identify you enemy: It is not your partner or wife. It is the system (Lawyers, Family Court)
Entirely take your ex out of the picture. You are fighting a dirty system.
2- You will be requested to attend a violence program. You can object to this. Your are not violent right?
If however you attend it ( and if you do not the system has the right to send you to jail and you will have to attend the course after jail and a fee) the system will take it as you admitting to violence hence your wish to ‘reform’.
3 Your MP, and all the people you thought were great and rode on your back to parlement will deceive you. They will be of no assistance to you. The best they will do is to ask you to dip into your pocket to hire a lawyer. They will usually recommend to you one or two ‘good’ lawyers.
Take my word for it. There is not a single lawyer who will admit to you that you are wasting your time and money with them. They can do absolutely nothing in court to help you. The Judge is simply incapable of not serving you with a protection order: Save your money to be able toys for your children for Chrismas. Refuse to consent to anything and defend every thing.
4. Represent yourself. Constitute yourself as a lawyer. Take this as a challenge. It will strengthen you and you will learn a lot about you belove New Zealand starting from judges. Remember your ex is irrelevant. Ignore her completely. In the court remain confident, peaceful and strong.
5. You will have many enemies during this process: your wifes’ lawyer paid for by the system, the children’ lawyer paid for by the system, the staff of the Family Court (these are hard to de-code their deceit)
6. You will come out of it a strong MAN and Dad.
In addition to tren’s excellent advice you can take a McKenzie friend into the family court with you – to enhance your chances that the judge and other ‘court’ staff will be honest due to there being another witness apart from yourself to their behavior.
See here for more details.
Yes a Mackenzie friend is very important as a witness to the Court process.
One more advice: If you are asked questions by the ex lawyer or anyone else insist the questions are from information before the Court like affidavits. To a question you think outside what is the Court allows (only information before It) your response should be a question like: Which paragraph? (Affidavits are in form of paragraphs)
dont give up, your in for a long hard slog, focus on your kids and not the lies. its the law thats wrong.
it is fairly important not to take any caught process too seriously. People who take caughts seriously, suffer the most damage.
We all enjoy watching TV drama’s where injustice gets sorted out, in the lifetime of the accused, but in reality, the accused is pretty much financially destroyed by their own legal-worker’s bills, leave alone whether they get found not guilty or guilty!!! Example – the co-defendants of Peter Ellis were bankrupted, lost their houses and lost their jobs, even though charges were dropped during the hearing!!!!
It is very important that you understand what caughts are for, so that you can protect yourself from these thieves.
To put these issues into perspective, for the case of Domestic Violence Act POs, see:
When the caughts are more than just fictional entertainment, then you do have a problem. Certainly there are victims in caught, your only worthwhile defense is to never put yourself into a position where you can be forced to take part in one of these street theatre/self sacrifices.
The grounds for awarding a protection order are so vague and all encompassing that it is difficult to defeat such an application by only defending it. To defeat a protection order application you need to cross-apply for your own protection order against the applicant.
You will then be encouraged by the court to negotiate a settlement that involves mutual undertakings. That is, you promise the court to leave each other alone.
If you do breach the undertakings you don’t face the risk of being arrested by the police for breaching a protection order although if your breach is heard by the court, then a protection order may be made against you.
I was charged with breaching the temporary protection order because a freind of mine contacted the ex asking her hwo she is doing /small talk . The police alleged I asked her to contact the ex. My friedn said NO but I was still chragde with the breach .
Now comes the travesty. The constable and the rposecutor are for /warning/ diversion but then all of sudden a diversion officer woman said NO to diversion.
My choice is to admit to guilty and apply for review of the diversion refusal , to plead guilty and have criminal file or to spend $ 4000 for a lawyer who will defend me ona non guilty plea.
If on ly I can post the explanation of that woman diversion officer – it is worse than a Spanish inqusition . I think to swallow my pride and apply for diversion refusal review. the only condition is to ” admit” the guilt . I feel horible at the moment/Really and truly horrible
Tony it all depends on the evidence.
Have the coppers provided you with full disclosure?
This case will largely depend on the evidence of the friend who made contact and the Police need to show the link/nexus with you encouraging her to make the contact.
Diversion is a crock and will come to kick you in Family Court later. Take care, yes a simple “out” but take care of the long term consequences.
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