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Apology expected from White Ribbon for their Abuse and Slander

Filed under: General — JohnBrett @ 5:43 pm Thu 16th August 2012

I have today sent the following letter to Rob McCann, of the Families Commission, and a copy and cover letter to the Minister Paula Bennet, both at her parliament address, and her electorate address:
To Rob McCann:-
Subject: Cyber Bullying and Slander
By White Ribbon Organization

I draw to your attention the article

Freedom of expression or bullying?

published on the White Ribbon web site

What happened:
A conflict arose when a number of members of the community (men and women) expressed views on the White Ribbon Facebook page, which challenged some of the material being published by White Ribbon. At NO STAGE was anything said which could remotely be construed as offensive, or bullying.

White Ribbon chose to block all views which did not conform to it’s own belief systems

The public response:-
I then started the facebook page “White Ribbon Day Debate-
which took off, with contributions from throughout the country condemning the White Ribbon Day campaign. I tried to get some balance by e-mailing a request to the White Ribbon Day web site for some balancing views, but received no reply.

Contributors to the web site started to also discuss the issue- (Note that all articles on are published by individual members, with no moderation by the administrator.) There was NO WAY for a web site to “Call on members”- to do anything.

White Ribbon’s response:-
White Ribbon responded with the vitriolic attacks on various individuals, as you will see on your web-site..
The individuals attacked are
all good people,
all active in helping hurt and damaged families,
all hurt and disadvantaged by these attacks,
and all unable to rebut or respond to these attacks.

In summary:-
If I can repeat back to you the words from your own site-

It is not excusable because it is abuse of men
It is not excusable because it comes from the White Ribbon organization

What needs to happen now:-
1 White Ribbon needs to immediately withdraw this offensive material
2 White Ribbon needs to make PUBLIC APOLOGIES to the people who have been verbally abused
3 White Ribbon needs to start listening to the community concerns, and I would suggest starting with dialogue with some of the outspoken workers who have so offended you.

What we will do:-
1 Because this is a very public affair, this letter will be published in every way possible.
2 It will also be sent to the Minister for the Families Commission the Honourable Paula Bennett
3 If the offending material is not withdrawn, and an acceptable public apology to the named people published, I will instruct our Lawyers to lay information with the NZ Police that defamation has occurred.

Yours sincerely

John Brett

To Hon Paula Bennett

Dear Paula
Subject: Letter to Robb McCann, of the Familes Commission re White Ribbon Slander

I enclose a copy of a letter sent to Robb McCann. Many of us who support people in distress tire of the sexist abuse we receive from the likes of the White Ribbon day people.

I would hope for some COMMUNICATION with these self-righteous people!

Having watched and admired your forthright and down-to earth style, I was hoping you might bring them down a peg, and get them to TALK to people who are on the ground dealing with social issues!

Yours sincerely

John Brett

I await their retraction and apology- I hope they will choose to communicate with some of us.


  1. Everything you say is absolutely correct John.They (White Ribbon Organisers) most certainly are liable for besmirching the names of 4 upstanding citizens. I note they hide in terror! Please though don’t hold your breath waiting for any admission of their wrong doing. Until we get that there is NO possibility of any reconciliation.

    One tactic we have, Boycott their silly white ribbon and their parades. A few go mainly to take photo’s to prove that their thousands of supporters are in reality 1 or to, probably from Rent a mob!

    Comment by Gwahir — Thu 16th August 2012 @ 11:53 pm

  2. While on the subject, and jour deafening silence while you formulate your psychobabble.

    Please refer

    for the last 6 years I have been keeping a list of serious crime committed by females. Average entries about 1 per week! Ranges from unlawful Sexual connection with a mino, through various stages of violence, Child abuse, and fraud. Who is Violent?

    Comment by Gwahir — Fri 17th August 2012 @ 12:06 am

  3. Thanks for taking the time to do this diligently John. I believe this type of action will make a huge difference for families across New Zealand.

    Comment by David Jade Young — Fri 17th August 2012 @ 6:41 pm

  4. White Ribbon or White Lies?
    Good stuff John, give em hell.

    Comment by dad4justice — Sat 18th August 2012 @ 8:19 am

  5. Fathers4justice attempt at shutting down misandry_href=””>

    Comment by triassic — Thu 23rd August 2012 @ 10:05 am

  6. Thank you John.
    The White ribbon campaign deserves to be strongly challenged, firstly for not being open to anecdotal and researched evidence that they are dismissive of the needs for support of men who are victims of domestic violence, and secondly as you detail in your letter to the families commission and Paula Bennett for their defamation of the characters of good people who took the time to try and educate them.
    Best of luck with this initiative you are making.

    Comment by Skeptic — Thu 23rd August 2012 @ 5:25 pm

  7. The first thing a person on any behaviour management (Anger, Substance, Sexual) is publicly admit their guilt and ask for support to change. Te Marama (Sexual abuse) if the offender doesn’t admit guilt, they don’t get out. Alcoholics Anon. start every meeting admitting the problem. Court ordered Anger Management forces this stage otherwise you are told to go, then the courts are notified. I believe this approach results in their non existent outcomes along with suicides and further violence.



    Comment by Gwahir — Thu 23rd August 2012 @ 5:38 pm

  8. Rule 1: Woman is never wrong. ergo Woman need never admit wrong. ergo Woman never have anger management problemn.
    Rule 2: If in doubt, refer to Rule 1.
    This clearly applies to White Ribbon Campaigns.

    Comment by IWMOW — Thu 23rd August 2012 @ 5:48 pm

  9. Regardless of a little rhetoric here and there, White Ribbon Campaign, Stopping Violence Services, Women’s Refuge, indeed, basically all Anger Mangagement programmes, exist solely to eradicate male violence.
    This task can never be complete (i.e. all men’s violence eliminated), because then these outfits would have no purpose, would cease to exist. Women would be depowered as they meld beck into the normal workforce.
    Therefore they will keep developing new forms of male violence to weed out.
    Take the soon to be illegalised economic violence, which pretty well all males will be guilty of, given men make up most of the rich list, tend to earn more, and hold control over more assets (in companies, trusts etc).

    Comment by IHateViolence — Thu 23rd August 2012 @ 5:53 pm

  10. Imagine the ideal relationship. You both have a joint account (she gets dibs on your money), because ‘if you really loved me, you’d trust me!’
    Then there’s the joint checquebook. Someone’s got to physically hold it, and if it’s the man, he’s in control. That’s violence, controlling her money.
    So she hold’s it. He just has to keep pumping his money into it.

    What do I mean ‘his’ money.
    Well it’s not really, because if he withholds his money from household income, that too is violence.
    Get it? She has her money, I can’t touch; I have my money, I’m not allowed to withhold.
    So into the ‘joint’ account it goes.
    Which woman gets to be keyholder to.

    And if anywhere, in anyway, I resist this – any fights over money, we can all see where this will head.
    Family Court, allegations of economic abuse. You’re out of the house, which Her Honour will then give a bigger share to her, to recompense her for all those years of economic control, abuse, hardship.

    Comment by Economic Abuse Explained — Thu 23rd August 2012 @ 6:02 pm

  11. #7 Gwahir,
    One of the positives in Judith Collin’s Family Court reforms is DV programme should no longer be “one-size-fits-all”. Oh dear that breaks all the teachings of the Duluth model. Looks like many providers will need to start thinking about new models.

    Comment by allan harvey — Thu 23rd August 2012 @ 6:40 pm

  12. It’ll still be a model that solely ‘fits’ men. All men.
    And if it doesn’t, we’ll create a new form of violence so that it does!y

    Comment by I Hate Violence — Thu 23rd August 2012 @ 6:42 pm

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