MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

Hope springs eternal?

Filed under: Domestic Violence,Gender Politics,Men's Health — MurrayBacon @ 9:28 pm Thu 12th April 2012

Sometimes when I read postings on this website, I get a bit depressed, quite a bit depressed. My old fiends, clonazepam and temazepam usually help, but if relied upon, can drop me very hard. Alternating with benzedrine usually helps, but he too can have a sting in his tail. Nortriptoline can help, if I know a few weeks earlier that I am going to be having problems.

Wellness is aided by exercise or frenzied exertion or acting out instead of acting inwards, like planning suicide. Ecstatic Chemical Therapy (ECT) helps too, when drugs are around, or the price of power is low, like at night.

Emerson’s Argument for Self-reliance as a Significant Factor in a Flourishing Life by Kathleen O’Dwyer

Journal of Philosophy of Life Vol.2, No.1 (March 2012):102-110

Kathleen O’Dwyer’s article bangs on about self reliance and self determination, in the writings of Emerson. This seems much of an antidote, to the out of tune whinings on this website, by powerless men, who clearly weren’t well prepared, for what life had prepared for them.


This essay explores Emerson’s reflections on self-reliance with particular reference to Emerson’s understanding of the concept of self-reliance, his view of “conformity’ as the major obstacle to self-reliance, and the moral significance of his thought. The essay is based on the premise that Emerson’s philosophy of self-reliance, self-reference and self-responsibility has a relevance and an application to our contemporary lives which are often conducted through subtle shades of compliance and acquiescence to popular opinion and prevailing fashions of thought and behaviour.

I am trying to lift my goals and aim for flourishing rather than just wellness, to act out more than act in. Self reliance is the bedrock foundation, but like any rock it isn’t glossy. To me, once the bedrock is taken care of, then the beauty in life is more in the following quotation, taken from those Christian’s Bible:

Corinthians 13:13
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Pandora’s box puts emphasis on hope.
The Lords helps those, who help themselves… So we are back to self reliance.
Self reliance starts with being well prepared. Are we helping young men and women to be well prepared for their lives?
Are we giving our children a good amount of hope? I don’t think we are doing it very well.
Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.
Are we living our lives by free love, or love that is highly charged for?
What role are we choosing to live our life in?
MurrayBacon – unstoppable axe murderer.


  1. That is where sharing among your faceless friends on MENZ. We are here to listen, and anoint you with the soothing Balm Prescribed earlier in Corinthians:- Love is patient Love is kind, It does not boast, It is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self seeking, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth. It always protects and trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Now your bit Murray! I often meditate on it as people hurt me.

    Comment by Gwaihir — Thu 12th April 2012 @ 11:14 pm

  2. This is where it gets confusing mainly because we have only one word for love in the English language. In Corinthians 13:13 Paul is referring to his religious conception, Hope, love and Charity (The original meaning of Charity, so that doesn’t mean money for the poor but you can see how that leap was made. Hope is the world we live in, Faith is a bridge if you like, and Charity perhaps as is described in desiderata – believe in God whatever you conceive him to be. )

    In the Gospel of Love Charity would dictate that we be kind to one another hence “Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth. Love is patient Love is kind, It does not boast, It is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self seeking, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth. It always protects and trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” Not the same thing by definition, as is also the case in love and sexual attraction. So in the absence of love we inherit a conflict, we pray, meditate, exercise faith.

    About 350 AD, English religious authorities decided for whatever reason to embody these concepts, so they put them into imaginary bodies, Father -Charity, Son-Hope (Jesus by name in the story), Holy Ghost-Faith, and so was born the trinity. What Paul authored was reconceptualised, which is what he had done anyway; it was his spin on the Old Testament, developed at a time when many Romans still believed in multiple Gods, but were seeing Christianity as a superior belief.
    Unfortunately religion has grown to be a literal belief rather than a literary one and so it’s ok to meditate, but hell, you wouldn’t be caught dead praying would you.

    Comment by Down Under — Fri 13th April 2012 @ 10:00 am

  3. powerless men, who clearly weren’t well prepared, for what life had prepared for them

    I would differ only with the word “powerless”. The rest of the phrase sums up most of what drives modern, Western men’s current malaise. It is not that surprising men are so unprepared, given how thoroughly the media, academia and commerce are working at dis-informing them.

    For the same reason that many men are so poorly prepared, they are also unaware of the power they have over themselves. In the past men were better educated about what they could expect from life – the education system, popular writers and the culture itself made it clear – even if it wan’t a particularly uplifting kind of knowledge. At least when one is grounded in truth, one at least knows what is to be worked with. And that is why writers like Emerson really do matter.

    His essay on self-reliance is a masterpiece, however you probably need to be already acquainted with the benefits of self-reliance to fully appreciate it. The philosophy of Men Going Their Own Way (and turning their back on the society of women) is still in its infancy, but writers are beginning to emerge who are telling it better than I could. Self-Reliance is at its core. Throughout history, this is what men were brought up to appreciate.

    Comment by rc — Fri 13th April 2012 @ 1:10 pm

  4. Dear rc, in my opinion it all comes back to honesty, are people getting what they reasonably expected (ie Fair Trading Act)?

    DownUnder put it very well in another post, where he spoke of “breaking the social contract”.

    This resonated with me and brought back my ex-wife telling me that now we were separated, all old agreements were off and it was a totally new situation, it would be as she dictated it to me. In terms of the familycaught$ she was right, alas.

    Although she was able to take what she thought she wanted, it never seemed to satisfy her. Also, I responded in ways that she did not predict, so again she failed to get what she wanted. Through all of this fighting, I was completely unable to protect our children from her behaviours, due to the irrelevance of the familycaught to the tasks at hand, in particular protecting children.

    In my opinion, breaking of social contracts should not be completely forbidden, but when carried out without any working accountability, then it is simple relationship vandalism.

    Honesty, sharing of information and good education are more socially valuable, than secrecy – being the refuge of scoundrels.

    Comment by MurrayBacon — Fri 13th April 2012 @ 2:05 pm

  5. @rc, it probably would have read better as disempowered

    Self reliance is not seen as essential in a society that lives with a perceived sense of security.

    Comment by Down Under — Fri 13th April 2012 @ 2:51 pm

  6. “Self reliance is not seen as essential in a society that lives with a perceived sense of security.”

    Self-reliance is a redundant concept in any society that models itself on the herd. And the herd, throughout nature, is female.

    Males of the higher species are individuals. Only a select few get to join the herd, and even then on the approval of the females. The males, by and large, are solitaries. Solitaries, by necessity, must fend for themselves. We men have had millions of years to evolve into what we are today. That same evolution has made us adept at providing for ourselves – indeed, it is that same inherent superiority in self-provision that underwrites modern civilisation, and what makes us attractive to women – or rather, what makes attractive that which we can give women.

    Modern men need to understand that society does not include them – society is women – just as herds of wildebeest, pods of dolphins and hives of bees are female.

    But societies of females are not necessarily prosperous, well-regulated, introspective or intelligent. They simply follow their instincts and suffer their fates. An advanced, technological, intelligent civilisation is the product of a male mind – and it is this that the modern female, due to her instinct to dodge accountability (an abstraction of danger), is unable to admit.

    Emerson’s essay on self-reliance is not about building log-cabins and raising one’s food. It is first and foremost about not needing society in the formation of one’s view of the world. It is with self-reliance in understanding truth that Emerson is most concerned. Once a man grasps this, what the newspapers say, or Mark Sainsbury, or what some clown in Wellington who manages to get repeated all count for nothing.

    Comment by rc — Fri 13th April 2012 @ 3:42 pm

  7. #4..Honesty..its a shame most people in the world wouldnt have a clue what that means..especially the the bent corrupt powers that be

    Comment by ford — Fri 13th April 2012 @ 9:28 pm

  8. a silly wee ditty with a little
    bit of irreverant relevance…

    Drugs Are Just A Substitute For Love

    Well, we all need air and a warm, hot sun, to
    allow easy breathing and to sing our songs,
    We’re on natural highs,
    like sex and exercise,
    because drugs are just a substitute for love.

    Yeah, we only drink water if we can’t find rum,
    it’s a healthy tonic, with a little bit of fun,
    Only in small doses
    we avoid cirrhosis,
    liquor drugs are just a substitute for love.

    We devour our food at an over-eager rate,
    by the hour, for our mood, take a sliver of cake,
    Black coffee for breakfast,
    chocolate, lifts my senses,
    sugar drugs are just a substitute for love.

    We demand escape by the end of the week,
    singing proud at the footy or a party by the beach.
    Share a pipe in friendship,
    dance all night on our ecstasy
    But, drugs are just a substitute for love.

    Yes, we all like comfort at the end of the day,
    be it hugs or touch, in our own funny ways,
    We, may enjoy a thrill or two,
    Might even take a pill or two,
    But drugs are just a substitute for love,
    drugs are just a substitute for love”¦.

    Comment by realkiwi — Wed 18th April 2012 @ 12:41 pm

  9. Reply to so called ‘realkiwi’

    Oh Boy …This post as even made me more convinced that I made the right choice not to live in NZ

    ‘Drugs Are Just A Substitute For Love’I would ‘love’ you, ‘realkiwi’ to say that out loud in public area, where I now live….

    You wouldn’t saying that ‘tune’ for very long

    Kind regards John Dutchie Free at last

    Comment by John Dutchie — Wed 18th April 2012 @ 1:28 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

Please note that comments which do not conform with the rules of this site are likely to be removed. They should be on-topic for the page they are on. Discussions about moderation are specifically forbidden. All spam will be deleted within a few hours and blacklisted on the stopforumspam database.

This site is cached. Comments will not appear immediately unless you are logged in. Please do not make multiple attempts.

Skip to toolbar