MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

Mothers Daycare and Child Wellbeing

Filed under: Boys / Youth / Education,Gender Politics — MurrayBacon @ 8:52 pm Thu 9th February 2012

Family First lobby group have published a book about the consequences on children, of the use of daycare. This has aroused considerable response, from groups who feel that it criticises choices that they have made, in particular working women.

Who Cares Mothers Daycare and Child Wellbeing in NZ

Books about shared parenting, that may be useful as a reference for submissions:

Every picture tells a story, Report on the inquiry into child custody arrangements in the event of family separation


Joint Custody and Shared Parenting by Jay Folberg



    I am not surprised by the findings of increased level of stress among daycare and I am not surprised by the willful blindness of the authorities about these findings.
    We have to understand that the goal of our feminist dictatorship is not helping women but punishing men.

    Family per se is generally not a value for women who enter relationships. It is primarily an instrument of exploitation of men. For men, family per se is something valuable. That’s why all women threaten men with breaking the family and not v.v. Because she knows it will hurt him. All divorces, 100%, are started by women going to court first. (In spite of stats that show that some men start, but if we analyse deeper, we’ll see that they were forced, in order to see their kids, get belongings from the house etc.)
    Daycare helps abusive women get freedom to abuse men and their kids. (Of course, some limited emergency daycare or babysitting is justified, maybe a few hours per week.)

    Comment by Ivan Zverkov — Fri 10th February 2012 @ 1:34 pm

  2. Ivan,

    Respectfully I disagree and I think the broadcast generalisations of all women threateneing men with divorce, and all divorces being initiated by women on goes to undermine the case you’re making.

    I can testify first hand neither of those statements are true in my case.

    In respect of the elevated levels of cortisol found in the under 3’s at daycare it’s simply a (very unhealthy) product of children being put into institutional care and away from parents whereas the human animal evolved to grow, develop and be nurtured in a very social, family and societally rich environment where enduring relationships naturally exist and can be relied upon.

    Combine this with the mountain of evidence indicating children will thrive in a loving environment where at least one parent is available to provide love. This is further improved when both parents provide that loving supportive environemnt and we get kids able to rely on their stable environment, and forming a sense of identity based on a secure knowledge of who both paretns are.

    Just my 5c

    Comment by Nigel — Sat 11th February 2012 @ 11:51 am

  3. Ivan
    Women initiate approx 70 % of divorces.This figure does not tell us why.Some cases could be that the husband is adulterous or otherwise has left the marriage.Women I think like to sort things out and move on and so could initiate divorce as a means to start this process.In my experience with friends and aquaintances the man leaves the whole process up to the woman except for when a new woman on the scene coerces the man into starting procedures.
    This of course is conjecture and a generalization which will be tolerated on a site such as this one I am sure.

    Comment by Free — Sat 11th February 2012 @ 5:08 pm

  4. Mits

    Comment by Free — Sun 12th February 2012 @ 10:09 am

  5. Nigel Latta commented on Breakfast TV that Family First is a lobby group that quotes research that suits their purpose, without looking at the breadth of the research [and thus coming to a balanced position].

    There is a little truth in what Nigel Latta said. Nigel said that most children cope quite satisfactorily with daycare.

    However, there is also more than a little truth in what Bob McCroskey said too, that a significant minority of children can be seriously stressed and in the long term, have the security of their childhood significantly compromised.

    This can later show up as adults who seem disorganised and chaotic. They are unable to predict the long term consequences of their decisions and actions and tend to keep changing direction. They cannot weigh up alternatives and thus cannot make reliable decisions. Maybe more common in eldest children, as their parents were learning their parenting skills on them!

    This syndrome is extremely difficult to help, it takes a huge amount of time and support. Essentially, this is a form of child abuse.

    The fact that some children thrive happily in daycare, doesn’t alter the fact that some children can be traumatised by the same daycare.

    It does seem that parents who are less empathic to their children, are often “victims” of the same type of broken attachment and neglect themselves. This is another repeating cycle. The parents childhood problem may have had a different cause, eg slow adoption process when hey were a baby, or a depressed parent caregiver, or very sick parent or sibling resulted in their being neglected.

    These parents are often unable to hear their children’s plaintive cries, on being left at daycare, due to their lack of empathy and emotional listening.

    Despite what might suit some parents who want to work for money, the important issue is to what degree the life of their children should be sacrificed?

    Parents should listen to their children and make sure that they are cared for, according to their individual needs. ie not just one solution fits all

    Particularly if the mother isn’t sufficiently empathic with children, then more men should be caring for their children!

    Why is it, that the clowns at the familycaught see fairness as treating all cases the same, give the children to the mother, without competently checking out the mental health status of both parents?

    Their ignorance has driven a huge amount of child abuse in NZ, through the last 30 years:
    – 1 generation in stable families
    – or 2 generations in vandalised families.

    MurrayBacon – axe murderer.

    Comment by MurrayBacon — Mon 20th February 2012 @ 7:35 am

  6. hi
    does any one know of a fathers group in australia who could give good advice to a friend who is recently going through separation regarding kids?

    Comment by kiran jiharr — Wed 22nd February 2012 @ 6:24 pm

  7. @kiran jiharr…

    Start with Dads on the Air and go from there.

    Comment by gwallan — Fri 24th February 2012 @ 7:26 pm

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