NZ, the power of a woman’s word.
The New Zealand IRD (i hope google picks this up) took my ex wife’s word that I earnt money under the table, when I was clearly destitute on the DPB and after having lost my my business in 2008. They assessed me on my previous year’s income and after the review I got a letter which pointed to a previous court case where a dad refused to work to avoid child support.
I was called to a review to show proof that I had been looking for work and that I was rightfully on the DPB, but because my “website” was still up, believed that I was making money from it. This was not the case!The assessment remained, so they continued to charge me child support for a false income. I could not pay, yet the penalties acrued.
The New Zealand IRD went into my bank and stole all the money from my account without warning me. This was my benefit that I needed to pay the rent and have the kids with me. That week I had nothing and applied to WINZ for a food voucher (which was humiliating).
The following day I had a WINZ case offer investigator knocking at my door, without being warned of turning up, asking me questions about my business dealing and whether I had received cash..
I guess my honesty shined through and things settled….until I got a letter from the IRD that I had to prove that the kids were in shared care. My ex wife called the IRD and lied that I did not have the kids 40%. My child support went up, on top of the incorrect income.
For the next three months I had to record every minute the kids were with me to prove that they were in shared care….
The NZ IRD…hmmm???
I feel sorry for you
NZ is now known as woman’s Empire.
I think moving to other country is not an option for you as you have you child to look after.
Few men who had enough of child sport bully by IRD left country where NZ authority can not affect their life.
I know a one man who move to Japan and settled in nicely.
I think its same in any commonwealth country.
I gas women will always have power over man unless government changes things.
Comment by Shinhee Yi — Sat 15th September 2012 @ 7:50 pm
Mate, people just don’t realise what these pricks get up to. I had a team of them turn up at my home one time – they ran on to the property, were looking in windows, writing number plates down – I wasn’t there at the time. My partner wondered what the hell was happening. When she got to the front door she was terrorised by a screaming femi-nazi demanding to know where I was. This was to all in aid of serving an illegal summons – because this is no accountability Dunne’s doppelgangers think they can do whatever pleases them. They’ve been totally out of control for years.
Comment by Down Under — Sun 16th September 2012 @ 8:38 am
Guess I might as well proceed with my sex-change operation. If you can’t beat é m, you might as well join é m!!!!
Comment by I Want the Chop — Sun 16th September 2012 @ 9:22 am
Dear I Want The Chop, wouldn’t it be cheaper to pay the child [and spousal] support, even on money you didn’t earn and pay penalties that were on assessments you didn’t earn, than pay for this operation?
Anyway, what if you change your mind later on? I have stories about women’s groups being very anti to transgenders..
Down Under refers to standover tactics. This reflect the underlying ethics of the child [and spousal] support act, especially when it is operated in a manner more biassed than the legislation it should be based on.
Women have demanded that people trust their word. Now that this has been tried out in practice, it hasn’t really worked out very well, so I guess we should be going back to not trusting the uncorroborated word of a woman, or man, or sex changed anything?
Cheers, MurrayBacon.
Comment by MurrayBacon — Sun 16th September 2012 @ 10:21 am
Joking aside – SAME, SAME, SAME – have had my bank account cleaned out – with no regard for the fact I have a new wife and another child to support – no warning = just all gone.
next watch any assets that you may have left if you cant pay the excessive amounts they demand when you dont earn it – I just had them break into my home while I was away with the family – taking my wifes car ( registered in her name – illegal seizure) and my truck I have had for years – the truck my kids grew up in, and were distraught at seeing it taken away.
They take the word of the mother ( a proven liar ) every time – they are NOT interested in filed accounts, or actual facts as to your income, you will NOT be allowed to be a full time father to your kids as is my case currently – they have refused me that right – there is NO way a father can have an IMMEDIATE review when he loses his income – they demand as in my case you pay MAXIMUMS until the next review – years away, when you no longer get those salaries where do they expect you to get the money – and the expectation (which they will never admit to – because I have asked them pointedly – is Child support based on INCOME or your ASSETS? ) No you are forced into a corner – extorted – forcing you to SELL any remaining assets to pay rediculous demands – or they will come and take them – auction them off to pay. This is a fact – I have had it happen.
Fathers musst unite against this and take Action against this totally unjust discriminatory, biased and unfair system.
You will be arrested if you leave the country or return with unpaid child support – you will have your liberty taken away from you – all this based on the single view of a discriminatory, biased review person – who as I have seen every time – is another female siding with your ex – using this opportunity to get back at the man – every time. And there is NO review process to overturn a previous finding so dont waste your time on that sham – I was told confidentially by one friendly woman on the phone at Child Support – they Never overturn decisions against you – no you are expected to spend more money and take the system to the High court to prove otherwise – you are GUILTY until you prove your innocence – that is not justice, that is a complete corruption of process.
Look at the latest round of reviews and changes – they just penalize men more – more fines, longer prison terms, there is no actual dealing with the issues – just demanding more money for longer periods – ignoring any right you have to quality time with your kids, and being allowed to actually have some honor, and money to do so.
Comment by HORNET — Sun 16th September 2012 @ 12:17 pm
Nz Ird need to be exposed in the media with true stories like ours. Here is my question to the IRD. What gives you the right to watch my bank account and take all the money I had out of it without any notice when the child support was clearly under dispute? Why do you make fathers prove their 40 percent when you base your facts on a mothers lie?
Like many fathers out their, I decided to leave the country for a new life. Parent alienation IRD bully tactics was too much to handle. Found love, remarried and have a new family with my partners beautiful kids.
Comment by Mikey — Sun 16th September 2012 @ 12:41 pm
Mikey, I agree entirely, why should this be the ONLY course available to you and or any father – that has been my experience with the family court as well – the system allows alienation and bad behaviour by the mother to flourish, while doing absolutely NOTHING about it.
There is NO Consequence and the system does not want the conflict to end, because that is income to this industry – created by lawyers, for lawyers. 99% of my lawyers bills were just trying to get peaceful quality time with my child, and to try and prevent the bad behaviour of the mother = two family court psychological reports on the damage the mother has caused to the child with her behaviour – not one criticism of me and my family – and NOTHING has been done about it – child abuse as defined and the system allows it to flourish.
But if I drop the kid off an hour late, or raise my voice, or am seen having a social beer, Im a bully, Im violent, Im a drunk, im fined, imprisoned etc etc………..if I had not been through this sham, I never would have believed it possible.
My lovely new wife and I after ten years of trying – have seen the ONLY solution is to stop seeing the kid = so we can all have some piece. Thats the tragedy here – the system forces you down that path. Same with this corrupt child support regime – because its so biased and wrong, the ONLY thing to do is to fight against it or walk away as you have done and live somewhere else in peace.
It should be illegal to garner information through the eyes of a child – my kid has been in tears when visiting, because mother has instructed her to spy on my life and count assets or things I own, so she can report this back to Child Support – how can any weight be placed on evidence or given to a mother who uses her own kids for that purpose – but they DO, and that evidence and every other lie they can tell with impunity – counts over filed tax returns and any evidence you present to the contrary – its a disgrace and I am furious that it is allowed to continue.
Thats another thing Im sick and tired of – its OK to actually get angry and upset over this – and yet there seems to be a stigma around any man or father who vents his frustration and gets angry – which anyone would if subjected to this – the system is quick to label you as ANGRY and VIOLENT the second you show any emotion. I dont see any father getting HAPPY about it, unless you were insane………..
Comment by hornet — Sun 16th September 2012 @ 12:58 pm
Don’t fancy your chances of getting any media coverage. They did the usual story – shut up and pay up – on Close Up last Tuesday night.
Source: ONE News
Supporting the children
Former partners are getting away with not paying their child support because the IRD is not able to track them down.
If support is not paid then it’s up to the taxpayer or the ex-partner to foot the bill, and the tax department to recoup the money, but people moving to Australia is complicating the issue.
Close Up looks into how much it is costing and what can be done about it.
http://tvnz.co.nz/close-up/tuesday-september-11-5074400
There dosen’t seem to be a video of it available.
Comment by Down Under — Sun 16th September 2012 @ 1:45 pm
Oh I don’t know.
operations are cheap over in Thailand; Have the chop and then:
– My every word will be gospel. even on the flimsiest of evidence.
– I can claim dpb with minimal explanation – even with only 61% full-time custodial care.
– I can claim review after review through IRD, and only have to make random assertions as to any future children’s father’s income.
– I can claim emotional and economic abuse, on the strentgh of ‘feeling’ abused.
– and consequently gain immediate possession of home, assets, children …
– And I’m virtually guaranteed success in femily caught, given the femternity will all jump to my assistance in fighting you poor old unchopped males!
Seems a better bet to me, than ‘fighting on aginst Ms. Dunne and his feminazi.
Comment by I Want the Chop — Sun 16th September 2012 @ 3:49 pm
Down Under (#8) the Close Up video is here:
http://tvnz.co.nz/close-up/2012-09-11-video-5074506
The usual “hard done by ex” bleating…. “where’s my money!!”.
Comment by Bruce S — Sun 16th September 2012 @ 4:05 pm
Deeply saddened by all the above. I am about to be made redundant and the usual Child Support calculation applies, treating the lump sum as Income in addition to what I’ve earned so far this year. My redundancy is equivalent to 34 paid weeks and Winz have informed me I am not entitled to any benefit for 34 weeks. I’m Ok with that.
I am NOT happy with IRD though. The lump sum payment will see me pay my ex around $1000 a month for the next 8 months for one child. Since I have 50/50 Shared Care this means my ex will get $500 a week for each week he is in her care. Way too much. She works part time and has a partner while I live alone.
I had thought about not paying at all. Had no idea IRD could take it from your Bank A/C though. Is there anything I can do?
Comment by Morris — Sun 16th September 2012 @ 7:51 pm
It’s worse than that, Morris. Redundancy will boost your ‘this-year’s’ income, but not affect the CS calc for the rest of this year JUST YET.
It’ll be when IRD have your actual income for teh whole year and, if its more than 15% above your current assessment, they’ll ding you for a catch-up (to the limit of the max assessable income (somewhere around $110K).
AND THEN they’ll base your ‘next-year’s’ CS assessment on THIS year’s income, and then take no-holds-barred. Whether or not you’re working, and irregardless of benefits, you’ll be hunted to extinction for CS on (based on what you say – CS of $1000/M) , an income in the region of $100K.
That’s the double dip. Your redundancy will cost you additional CS THIS year; AND ALSO NEXT YEAR!
Best you brace yourself. (a) Get religious and stat praying. (b) Have a sex change op. (c) Flee the country. (d) fight for full custody. (e) all of the above.
Comment by I Want the Chop — Sun 16th September 2012 @ 8:36 pm
Think of it like this. You work somewhere for ten years. They make you redundant. So you collect 34weeks redundancy. Now you’ve earned that redundancy at the rate of 3.4weeks a year. However, for CS purposes, it’s no long a CS on ten years worth of 3.4weeks income; it’s CS on 34weeks additional income.
And because you acheived that THIS YEAR, you should therefore be able to do the same next year! Good luck finding a job that pays 34weeks bonus income in a single year!
Comment by I Want the Chop — Sun 16th September 2012 @ 8:59 pm
LOL Hornet. Yeah i too am a violent controlling abusive screaming alcoholic (translation-social drinker who disagrees with her). I have been assesses for back dated child support (2 months ago). I can not even service the penalties-LO Fucking loud. Good 2 hear that mummy is planning another overseas trip though-wouldn’t want her to suffer.
Comment by Shafted — Mon 17th September 2012 @ 8:35 am
Well, thx, daunting though. I have some questions though.
1/ Is Child Support capped at Income Level $110,000 per year?
2/ CAN IRD just rip money out of your bank account?
3/ CAN IRD take your car or invade your home without a warrant?
I really don’t think they can.
Comment by Morris — Mon 17th September 2012 @ 9:01 pm
1-No cap =$126577
2 – they have all the powers of the tax administration act.
3 -i beleive a court oder is required as per 2
Comment by scrap-the-csa — Mon 17th September 2012 @ 9:44 pm
Morris,
They can attach the proceeds of your redundancy. That is, assess you for child support and get that money off you come hell or high water. i had a redundancy payout some years ago. They attached the sale of my property and whipped out $14k at the time. Front them and deal with the problem. They will hound you to the ends of the earth. write down who you spoke to and make a file not of any agreement made.
Regrds
Shafted
Comment by Shafted — Tue 18th September 2012 @ 10:29 am
Morris, you will be discriminated against with impunity – because currently no one has stood up to the scum and taken action against them. Thats the only reason they are getting away with it. Its time fathers stood up for what is right and attacked the current system for being discriminatory on many levels. Collective case of discrimination – which we will easily demonstrate and get the system to change its ways.
You are treated like a criminal in criminal court – there is no compassion or understanding that you may well have another family, wife, kids, and responsibilities – they rely SOLELY and DELIBERATELY on the SHAM review system and the peanut lawyers who make the biased discriminatory decisions against you – founded on lies and any other bullshit your ex wants to include – then its up to you to prove otherwise, at your cost and time – the system gets away with this sham, because most fathers, dads, men do not have the time or the money to fight it. If we did we would win – but we need numbers – lots of evidence of the same shit – to prove the point and get the system to change there current unfair tactics.
Yes they can and will take your property and auction it off to pay what they demand – legalised extortion. As we found out – They took property from our home breaking in using locksmiths, my car of many years and my wifes ( which they had no legal right to ) worth four times the value of the amount owed, and they were going to sell them both at a NO RESERVE auction – so they dont care what they sell the assets for. If they dont get what they want to cover the cost they will come after more assets to make up the difference – this is oppressive, despicable behavior = further fucking up good families and kids. My wife and kids are even more distraught after having to go through this. Do they care – NOT at all.
They refuse to answer legitimate questions in writing – they hide behind claims of process and unjust time deadlines – even when your claims are valid and justified, they base everything on the shoddy discriminatory review decision made by some disgruntled near do well lawyer who cant cut it in the real world – and the reviews are a sham – because they they will NEVER overturn a decision – you have to taken them to court to prove the truth – thats not justice, that a total fraud!!!!!!!!
Comment by hornet — Tue 18th September 2012 @ 11:07 am
Yep-i contacted the IRD 3 years ago advising them that my income had gone up and should i pay more child support. I actually called them 3 times to ask what to do. In all circumstance they said it would wash through the system and not to worry. Now , admin review and backdated child support. Overnight i owe thousands and am being penalised every month due to my inability to pay. It is a complete fucking beat up and sham. I cannot plan for anything financially as the dreaded admin review comes around time after time.
Try this for a little experiment-ask these under trained cretins a particular question. Then ring back a couple of times asking the same question. make sure you do not identify yourslef. I guarantee you will have 3 different answers.
Or get this-get three letters from the ird IN WEEK-all telling you differnt things.
Watch your employer get letters seeking draconian deductions from your salary (which employer makes) only to be told the following month that you are further in the shit and they want more-month after month. From one month to the next i have no certainty as to what i will end up with. I have to check with the pay office every pay day to see if they have received further notices-HOW FUCKING HUMILIATING IS THAT!!!.
Isn’t it nuts that their incomes are irrelevant to calulations. They get ongoing benefit of any increase in our income, yet there is no deduction made in liability if their’s goes up. It is ongoing spousal support . Not child support. Peter Dunne advised me that the government does not suppose to tell the family unit how to spend money (when i complained that my hard earned money is spent on SHIT) By definition therefore, i am OUTSIDE of the family and sidelined as a previous sperm donor and ongoing ATM machine.
Yes hornet-i get your situation. The system and the maggot have ganged up to make my contact with the children unpleasant, full of unreasonable demands (upon me) and quite frankly a source of stress to me. There is no accountablilty for the ex’s vicious behaviour and brain washing of the kids. If there is a reasonable way of conducting oneself and the impossible, she will adopt the latter.
Comment by Shafted — Tue 18th September 2012 @ 11:39 am
Heres a question for you all – time to see who is prepared to put there balls on the line here ……..
If I go to the trouble of establishing an on line web site – with a template yes / no answer questionaire, specifically asking men to submit responses as to how the family court and Child Support services have discriminated against you – will any of you consider signing it, and putting your name to this so that Affidavits can be created from this?
The objective will be to amass the numbers and take a claim of Discrimination to court using a decent Human rights lawyer.
We will have to bypass the human rights commission – because while they tell me in writing, that they get a lot of complaints from Fathers – but as an organisation, they have chosen to make a unilateral decision – NOT TO PROCEED on any of them.
So the very organisation set up to protect you from discrimination – refuses to take any action on the many complaints from fathers they receive – will obviously have to include the commissioner of HUman rights in any Claims as being a party to the Discrimination – his departments lack of action and refusal to take complaints from fathers is allowing the discrimination to continue. Thats Obstruction of Justice the last time I looked.
It is Illegal to discriminate in NZ, we signed up to the UN Human rights convention. And yet we are currently all sitting back being totally discriminated against with issues directly effecting – time with our own children, perverse and oppressive legal processes which refuse to deal with the causes of many problems – bad parental behaviour, and a child support system, which directly discriminates against fathers on many levels.
I dont see any other way of exposing a system which is so fundamentally wrong in its processes, so bullying and so unjust, and so directly discriminatory in its practises – particularly towards good fathers and great dads.
Complain as an individual, and you will be branded a radical, disgruntled nutcase – complaint collectively tabling all the same concerns and you have a significant case – which will force changes in the way cases are managed and handled.
here are some things I want to target.
Immediately on separation – Fathers must be given equal allocation of time with there children – as of right, peaceful quality time. They should not have to fight and pay in court to get what should be legally theirs to have.
It should be an offence to file or making false allegations about a parent – such a breach will result in removal of the child from your care.
Lawyers must also be bound by new laws which prevent them from filing evidence they know is false – especially making ex parte applications on dubious grounds attempting to get protection and violence orders through without contest – I have had this experience where they knew the complaints were unfounded but they filed them against me and got away with it, because there was no consequence when they did.
There must be an immediate offence created for Bad behaviour towards your children = many of the tactics used currently by bad mothers are allowed to flourish, because there is currently no consequence. My child has reportedly suffered severe psychological harm as a result – identified by an independent family court psychologist and to this day the family court has done NOTHING About it.
As for child support – there is for example NO Way a system should be allowed to ignore current filed tax returns as the basis for determining income. This should be the method used unless there is evidence to prove otherwise. Filed income tax returns must be the basis on which child support income is determined – not the fictitious evidence of a disgruntled ex partner, or based on assets or property owned.
There must be a process where you can instigate an immediate change in your contributions if you lose your job and that income – you should not have to wait years to get another review on that salary change forcing you to sell assets and find money out of thin air. That is oppressive and unjust.
You should not have take the system to court to prove the truth, being labelled guilty on the evidence of an ex partner, forcing you to spend your valuable time and money overturning that decision. That is oppressive, discriminatory and unjust.
Child support reviews must be transparent and must be seen to be fair, impartial and not discriminatory as they currently are. A review must be a review – not as they are now, some sham experience where nothing you say is listened to, and no changes will ever occur – that is not a review system.
Hornet
Comment by hornet — Tue 18th September 2012 @ 11:42 am
You have my vote hornet.
Shafted
Comment by Shafted — Tue 18th September 2012 @ 11:47 am
Making it a crime to give false information from exes is a start. Perhaps one could make the placement of a CAPS order on the child’s passports more difficult. This can be done within a few hours by the ex….. “Oh my children cannot see their father in Australia, because he is going to kidnap them!!” That’s all it takes?????
It took me over ONE YEAR to have this overturned.
As far as the NZ IRD is concerned… I am willing to partake in any questionnaires, affidavit to expose the truth. My kids have been poisoned against me… My anger over all of this has made me into the abusive character my ex wanted me to be seen to the children. They think I am an arse for taking their mum to court and now they refuse a holiday to Australia.
Comment by Mikey — Tue 18th September 2012 @ 12:07 pm
Mikey,
In a previous post i have pointed out that my ex lied in an admin review. Proveable. It is an offence under the act to do so. I am not suggesting that the lie definitely affected the outcome of the review , but it may have. Potentially, such a lie could have cost me 10,s of thousands of $$$$. The maximum penalty nder the act for a first time lie is UP TO $2000. The law must be even handed and absolutely SLAM such lies as opposed to a reluctant slap with a wet bus ticket.
As for the CAPS order, i applied for a none removal order under urgency and it took 1 year to get to mediation. She managed to gain a protection order against me for unproven allegations OVERNIGHT. She had the assistance of “victim support’ etc etc for her crock of shit untruths.
I thus lost my children my place of abode etc etc overnight. I was discharged without conviction, but until that point in time had to have supervised acess to my children. It nearly pushed me over the edge and certainly pushed me into a very dark place i never want to return to. What i resent more than anything is the permanent effect this has had on my psyche. i have become cynical, distrusting and angry. Woo hoo. Thank god the law is there for all-NOT
Comment by Shafted — Tue 18th September 2012 @ 1:14 pm
Q-what part of the counry are you in Hornet-if you dont mind me asking.
Comment by Shafted — Tue 18th September 2012 @ 1:40 pm
Auckland – shafted, I can concur with you mate on how angry this all makes you – it would make any person angry. There is no other emotion to express the total frustration at all this. IN fact funnily enough one mediation I had to attend – the psyh said it was perfectly normal to get angry ( the system never accepts this ) so long as you have a network of people you can help to dispel it and talk it out – problem for most men – they dont like seeing there kids harmed, they dont like being lied about, or having there reputation destroyed – so they react immediately – and thats where the violence manifests itself. Any father will protect himself and his kids from harm – and if provoked enough the only path you can walk down is the one where you take the law into you own hands – sadly I have seen the total lack of help a father gets – even when he does everything the system asks of him – and he gets NO HELP at all – my case with the court order in my favor – I did every thing as per the book – CYFS would not help me, the police would not help me, even the family court would not action and enforce its own court order in my favor, so I can see why men take the law into there own hands – no one wants to help dads, and I have proven that for a fact.
A court order issued in a fathers favor for access should be enforceable by the police – no fking around in court – as was my case – I should not have had to go to court – again, during holidays, travel half way across auckland to lodge my applications with the court – only to have it all thrown out by a judge – because it was supposedly lodged in the incorrect format – justice department forms they sent me to fill out – yet the registrar accepted them and signed them into court – it was not rocket science – time date place, kids not in my care = the cops want to help me uplift with a warrant – issue one – its your fking court order – enforce the blooding thing. If it was the mother making the complaint – as you both rightly highlight above, we as fathers – would have been arrested on the spot.
This is exactly what I am talking about – total discrimination of the man, father, dad as opposed to the opposite support and dealings given the mother – the support they get at every level is totally opposite to what the father gets, the lies they can tell with impunity, and manner in which the mother is being managed and dealt with is totally discriminatory of the father. There is no equality in the current system. All too quickly your kids can be removed and they know a father will spend every cent he has to try and get time with them – thats the part of the system, the corrupt family court legal profession which needs to be halted in its tracks.
I too had false allegations filed in court – ex parte, and one of the requests was I could only see my kids under supervision – fk I nearly hit the roof – how dare anyone infer I could only ever see my kids under supervision. But you see, this is all part of the provocation tactic the legal profession is allowed to engage in – provoke the dad enough – make him react and the rest is easy – because you are forever labelled a violent angry person…….who the fk wouldnt be given the circumstances this system puts you in.
if I had not had a smart lawyer at the time who acted quickly and saw them trying to lodge proceedings without notice and the money at the time, I too would have had my reputation tarnished, I would have had violence and protection orders on my file for life……thats how easy it is to destroy a father……….I had everything thrown out, but the point is her lawyer knew it was all bogus, but she tried anyway to get these things pushed through under cover and approved. I will never forgive the system for allowing that disgraceful tactic to commence in the first place. And there is NO Punishment for doing so to the mother or the fking lawyer.
Lies, lies total lies and they walk away as if nothing happened. Nearly fked my life and stopped me seeing my kids – I would have been totally crushed if I had been forced to see my kids under the supervision of some other public servant – that would have sent me over the edge – this is not a joke, they are deliberately fking with our kids and our lives and it needs to end.
I recently had the childs passport withheld at the eleventh hour for an approved trip – all designed to upset my families holiday with the kid and cause unnecessary stress and problems – and they get away with it time and time again. And yes you get mad, my good lovely would not hurt a thing wife gets mad and angry – there is no other way to react – unless you are expected to have no emotions at all.
Good so I have two votes – thats three of us. I know from watching and reading the horror stories on here, that we ALL SHARE Common experiences – same themes keep running through each story – which are so totally wrong. And which must be exposed and stopped. But it will need numbers.
Hornet
Comment by hornet — Tue 18th September 2012 @ 2:41 pm
New Zealand Human rights – obligations, expectations and requirements.
link below.
http://www.hrc.co.nz/report/summary/summary03.html
Have a read as to the expectations you should have received and tell me if you have not been directly discriminated against by the family court and child support enforcement and collection.
Hornet
Comment by hornet — Tue 18th September 2012 @ 2:55 pm
Hornet, I have been through the same stuff…It’s all the same!!! “Crocodile tears”… exes seeking sympathy, crying on the shoulders of the IRD, family and their own children, convincing everyone that they are hard done by, how their lives have been shattered and that they cannot continue with life..
In the meantime, when nobody looks, it’s off to the pub or lighting up a smoke having a chuckle to themselves.
Hey, my anger has been justified…like yours. When the mother of my kids, moves home without disclosing address and contact details, or witholds the signing of the removal of the CAPS for a year or allows my daughters to quit school at 16, piercing tongues, ear stretchers, blue hair, etc… that would make anyone mad.
Let me tell you a secret Hornet. Your ex like mine and so many others have discovered how to make us angry and they use this against us. My daughters do not speak to me at all. It’s been over a year and a half…
All we want as fathers is to see our kids and have a good relationship with them. This is taken away from us and there is nothing we can do about it. I have resigned myself that I have lost my daughters. There is not one minute I don’t think about them and let me tell you the ex is smiling, because she has won her battle.
It saddens me that so many children are used in this manner. It is a crime beyond comprehension.
Good look to all of you that have this evil in their lives.
Comment by Mikey — Tue 18th September 2012 @ 6:57 pm
This evil has eaten into me like a cancer! Loosing ones children and them turning against you is the most gruesome thing that can happen to a human. The system is also to blame, for hastily accepting the sympathy and lies of a mother and turning against a loving father who only wants his share of the children.
Comment by Mikey — Tue 18th September 2012 @ 7:05 pm
Mikey I hear ya mate, I have several friends who have also been through this – all have horror stories to tell. One of my good mates likened the removal of his son, and the taking him away as like having a death. he has no money to fight the system, the ex stops all and any attempts by him to keep in touch – and he is a good bugger, like most of us, a good father and dad, and he has been deliberately deprived of time with his boy – for good now it looks. he has not been allowed to see him, write to him or phone him for years – and I have seen it destroy him – and the system lets this happen, and that needs to change……….
And you are right – the system allows provocation – thats why they probably and only recently removed it as a defence………you are so right, they push all the buttons and then sit back and gloat. laughing all the way…….because they learn real quick nothing will ever happen to them…..
We are headed into the same cycle now = the end game after trying everything and spending a fortune in court – because my new family and children are now more important and worth protecting, than receiving a child who arrives with nothing but stress and grief – all generated from the same person. They arrive not wanting to see you, lied to about you and you are then expected to have a couple of days or weeks with them and give them some balance, some understanding that you are not the prick the mother makes you out to be – sadly we as fathers in the current climate – are in a no win situation – there has to be change ……..I have found for what its worth that having a large block of time, beats small regular visits – purely because we can have a good week of settling in, de-programming, and then actually enjoy a week or so before they return. But then if they have a good time with us, we are then shut out of contact for weeks, months, until the mother wants something of course, then communication is allowed to start back up.
I have promised my child one things – I will never lie to her. Thats about the only thing I currently have any control over. The rest of her life is managed and organised by the mother without any input from us – the guardianship act is a complete joke, is not enforceable and really is the most stupid piece of legislation currently referred to by the courts – owe there the guardianship act, you have a say in your childs life – bullshit – try enforcing it, try actually getting a say, when you are shut out completely.
Sadly the system prohibits fathers from getting a fair go, I can verify this for fact, because I have been through every thing they offer you – but none of it actually stops the problem – because it costs to much in time and money to keep proving what c….ts some of these mothers actually are…….can you imagine having to go to court every time they do something – id be in there every visit..
keep your chin up mate, find a cause where we can actually make a difference and try and prevent other fathers from ever having to go through this bullshit in the future. My suggestion may be the answer. I have not seen anything else make politicians actually take notice – protesting and the like does not get the numbers.
They only win if we sit back and do nothing about this.
Hornet
Comment by hornet — Tue 18th September 2012 @ 7:59 pm
The stories posted here are the tip of the ice berg. That fathers are injured is the less important part. The children suffer more than one can imagine. I had to eventually treat my children as dead so I could get out of the tangled web I was in. On the basis that the system allows a sick mother to destroy the father, and hence the kids,  has led me to give the following advice to all fathers with a problem relationship. [Advice removed by moderator – advocating criminal behaviour is not permitted on MENZ] THE MOTHER. Drastic measure but better for the kids and yourself.
Here is a site to help but more options on the web. [Link removed]. For all its faults at least Islam understands women correctly. What comes out of their mouth is very seldom the truth.
Comment by Kamikaze — Tue 18th September 2012 @ 10:45 pm
Same experiences… same themes…
Comment by justiceforall — Thu 21st March 2013 @ 7:45 pm
Have been wrongfully held in New Zealand for nearly a month now for non existent child support arrears. I will never have contact with my 4 children or any grandchildren while their mothers are wrongfully working with the IRD and the family caught to take money they should not get.
Comment by michaelqtodd — Thu 18th April 2013 @ 4:29 pm
Hi all. My partner and I are going through the whole child support joke. The ex is impossible to deal with and is more then happy to go back to court as its legal aid paying every time while she sits back and takes the free ride. We have spent thousands just trying to get equal rights to no avail. The biggest joke of the lot though came today. Child support bill keeps climbing and climbing so we organised a meeting to sit down and ascess where they actually get their ridiculous figures from. We dealt with a SENIOR staff member who showed us break down screens which he informed us most staff rarely even use (that is scary being that they are the figures they work from) The figures dating back 5years were not even correct and the penalties charged on top of the incorrect figures are obscene!! We were then informed by this senior member that they believe the system is corrupt and needs an ovedhaul and he probably shouldn’t have shown us those screens. Being that it was my partners information we asked for a print out and were refused . WONDER WHY?! The whole thing is an absolute joke and all paying parents are getting shafted by a corrupted system, we seen this first hand. I wish I could do more to help you guys, your completely justified in saying that fathers get an absolute raw deal. Wake up nz govt and sort this shit out!
Comment by Tina Sanson — Tue 18th June 2013 @ 11:46 am
@ 33 keep holding your breath until you pass away.. still won’t happen. the govt needs to be confronted hard during election to make sure this issue is remedied.. not just looked at …
Comment by kiranjiharr — Tue 18th June 2013 @ 1:06 pm