New Zealand Family Court has officially ruined my Family
Having been though the Family Court for the past 9 years, of which I was given just enough hope that I may actually get “Justice” and though the family court be able to establish a relationship with my son, that the Ex would not allow.
In Year 2 of the Family court process I had my 2nd child, and Year 3, my 3rd. in various times over that 9 years me and my new partner had come very close to separating ourselves due to the pressure the court process was putting on our relationship. In Year 8 it finally got to much (plus other issues) and I ended up separated yet again, and now trying to get as much time with 3 children between two mothers. And given the fight I had in regards to my 1st child, the mother of my younger children had always said that she would not be like that. But as it turned out not only did she turn out like that, she was learning the system, meanwhile lowering my defenses, and knowing I never wanted to go though the process again she played me. We Separated a year ago last week, and had a private agreement which has changed as our personal lives have changed, over the last year. It was all going reasonably well until Christmas came up.
In 4 separate occasions between June and November she confirmed that I would get my two youngest children for the afternoon of Christmas Day, so during those 4 months organised for my oldest child to travel to me for Christmas, as it would be the first time in 5 years that all my Children had spent Christmas day together.
On the 22nd of November the mother of the oldest 2 dropped a bomb shell “Sorry Ive been thinking about Christmas day, and trying to plan it out, and there is no way we are going to be able to make it home for 3pm, so Ill have the kids for Christmas Day, and you can pick them up on Boxing Day.
Nothing I said to her would get though to her the importance of having the 3 Kids on Christmas Day, and she wouldn’t even give me a decent explanation as to why she couldn’t get to where we agreed to do change over.
So I sought legal Advice, and was duley advised that I should put a without notice application for a parenting order, knowing that it would not be accepted, but given its in regards to Christmas contact, would be put as urgent, with notice to respond reduced to 3-5 days, and a 15 min issues/directions confrence to be set down.
So I went though the process, and followed the instructions on the application form, and provided all information it asked for, even if I did not feel it was immediately relevant, so out came the history of her involvement with CYFS, how she goes a bit crazy when pregnant, and that she was pregnant with her 3rd child…. I filed the paperwork on the 30th of November.
Well the judgement was as expected, 3 days to file a notice of response, issues conference, directions conference to be set down, and lawyer for child to be appointed, with 14 days to provide a report, and help resolve the Christmas contact dispute. I was ecstatic, I might still have a chance to have my children all together for Christmas Day finally.
Then 3 days later, I get a text from the ex about Christmas Presents etc… So I tell her anything to do with Christmas is now a matter for the Court, talk to your lawyer, the kids lawyer, or the Court for anything Christmas Related.
Then she informed me she had not received anything from the Court. So I ring the Court, and find out, it has not only not been served, but it also may not be served for another 7 days as it is not “URGENT”, it may take up to 14 days for the Lawyer for child to be appointed, and that no issues conference, or directions conference would be set down until after the Case Management review on the 6th of March 2016!!!!!
So now I have played all my cards, all in regards to 17 hours contact that the ex has “taken” away the information provided in the Affidavit is damning towards her, so I can see what was reasonably civil parenting relationship turning hostile once she does get served, and knowing that nothing is going to happen till MARCH, probably end up taking more time away from me just because she can.
“Family Justice” YEA RIGHT!!!!
Should be called the Department of Family Killers
So short of causing a scene and attempting to pick up the kids on Christmas day, is there anything else I can attempt to get this happening?