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Update – Family court Revamp part 3

Filed under: General — nzleagle @ 7:59 pm Thu 5th February 2015

Since April 2014 I have been in the system of the New Family court system. my previous posts –

So my last update was up till about the 9th of December, My ex finally accepted a mediation date for the 13th of January 2015. Since one of the primary reasons for restarting the proceedings was to try and get contact for Christmas, I had the court confirm that the current parenting order (from 2010) was still enforceable, and then messaged my ex saying that since she cant have mediation till middle of January I will be forced to enforce the order, so if she could have my son available for the dates as per the order that would be great. I also mentioned to her that if she doesn’t agree either organize a mediation date for before Christmas, or I will be forced to enforce it.

She asked me for the mediators number, and he was not available, she said she would call the following day. 2 days later I have a bailif on my door step serving me with a Without notice application to vary the parenting order, essentially preventing me from enforcing the order, in her application she told the court that I had asked for contact outside the order, and a number of other stretches of the truth and unfactual information. and as a result it was approved. With contact be on agreement, so I text my ex asking when she sees contact occurring, and never got a response.

Come the 13th of January, I had travled from Auckland to Wellington, and was driving up to Palmerston north about 4 hours before the mediation date, when I recieved a phone call from the mediator saying that my ex had pulled out as she had a workplace injury that resulted in a concussion before Christmas. The mediator tried to work something out on the phone, but my ex couldnt even make herself avalible during the time period the mediation was supposed to be.

Thankfully as a result of her without notice application a directions conference was set down for the 4th of Febuary.

At the directions conference the Judge pretty much ripped into the Lawyer for child and Lawyer for my ex asking why contact hasnt been able to be sorted, and it appears to be a straight forward case. So we now have to have a round table meeting within 2 weeks, if no agreement is reached, we are to file detailed proposals for contact and care, and she will either make a decision based on those proposals and evidence previously filed, or set down a hearing.

I also wrote to MP’s about the time frames for the Family Dispute Resolution to occur, and received a response from Amy Adams yesterday stating that the provider contracts specify 35 days from application to mediation occurring. and they will be working with providers to ensure this happens. However delays are inevitable if people need extra time for the prep etc…


  1. i wonder if the rights of the children had any bearing? i doubt it.

    Comment by phil watts — Fri 6th February 2015 @ 8:42 pm

  2. And now you understand how family court works.
    (1) Men are encouraged and coached to play by the system.
    (2) women are encouraged and coached to play the system.

    Men are coached to play properly – to follow parenting orders; to correspond, to wait for correspondence, counselling, mediation and finally hearings. Men are taught to think if they follow the process, the rules, then everything will be fair and justice will prevail.
    Women are coached to jump in with the pre-emptive strike. To catch off guard. To lead on and then betray.

    Men, WAKE UP!

    Comment by OMG! You're &%$&&$% — Mon 9th February 2015 @ 6:21 pm

  3. Hi – I understand that the only way to get anywhere with the family courts is to think like a women, plead your case like your missing out, don’t be afraid to be the first to insist on things, do some research about time limits for mediation, the courts won’t tell you anything unless you ask or find out yourself. Keep asking the hard questions to the L4C, if you don’t get your answers you want for the L4C – then request another one, don’t play fair, don’t meet half way, you just focus on what YOU WANT and enforce time limits, have your paper work ready to file to enforce your contact agreement, send it in before the due time frames, BECAUSE that’s exactly what they have planned.

    Comment by goose — Wed 4th March 2015 @ 12:56 pm

  4. The other alternative guys is, just leave.
    It is the the only option In some instances.
    Give up your kids and move on as best you can.
    The court process has not changed in the 14 years I have been in it.
    The nonsense with the court, the children, the mother could have been stoped years ago. It would have required a judge to come down a little hard on the mother. Has not happened, odor thing that she is, it’s just crap, utter crap.

    Flag it guys

    Comment by Paul — Mon 13th April 2015 @ 3:46 am

  5. @ OMG! You’re &%$&&$% says:

    The rules are biased against us and it screams injustice every time i think of it.. Welcome to the mind fuck if you choose this path. The irrationality will make you scream.

    @ Paul agreed.

    If you’ve lost and keep losing.. get out. If you stick around it will be a life of constant powerlessness, anger and bitterness. You can’t heal. You can’t move on. So bite the bullet and leave the country.

    You have only one life. Why go insane and bitter? Man up and move on. I wish I had. I wish I had someone tell me this.

    NZ society is saying you aren’t wanted or needed.

    Comment by Becoming extremist — Mon 13th April 2015 @ 5:48 pm

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