Thanks to Father & Child and other groups who have generously supported the spirit of Fathers Day this year. Unfortunately, misandrist and femicentric forces have used the commemoration as another opportunity to bash men. A previous post – thanks Jerry – drew our attention to a couple of articles. One was about the ’10 worst fathers’ shown in films and tv. The second was about step fathers, which at least honoured men in father roles and provided some useful information. Jerry was correct though in that an article promoting step-motherhood on Mothers Day would be seen as offensive by women, especially in the absence of other articles honouring biological mothers. This year I don’t remember seeing any article honouring dads, though I guess there probably were some.

A really nasty, patronizing article was written by ‘Emily Writes’ in the NZ Herald. It was called “Emily Writes: Father’s Day can be a struggle”. Well of course the headline is correct because many fathers struggle with Fathers Day due to being alienated, shut out or severely restricted concerning their role with their own children, or threatened with one of those scenarios during the horrible process of Family Court. But none of that is what the article is about and Ms Emily doesn’t mention that stuff at all. For her it seems that the suffering of alienated, discarded and falsely accused fathers doesn’t exist or if it did it doesn’t matter.

No, her article was all about how hard Fathers Day is for the multitude of children whose fathers are “not deserving of a thought let alone a card”, and the brave selfless “mothers who co-parent with grace and kindness even when their ex-partners have put them through the wringer and wouldn’t do the same for them” and “who for the safety of their children have escaped homes of violence and pain to build something beautiful”. Oh yes, sugar and spice and all things nice, huh? Ms Emily encourages people to resist the social pressure to send a card to Dads when their relationship with father is “just too complex” or when “the waters under the bridge are raging”. And of course women who have fertility problems will also find Fathers Day painful. It is ok though, according to Ms Emily, to “honour the good dads”. Gee, we hope we meet the criteria for being ‘good’ dads. On second thoughts, it’s unlikely we would. A self-serving feminist definition of a father is the only acceptable one now.

Ms Emily, don’t you realize that Fathers Day isn’t about all the people who live off fathers’ backs but feel hard done by? It’s actually about showing appreciation for fathers, and we will not allow you to invent feminist-approved conditions that will need to be met by any father in order to be respected on this day.

This article was really just another attempt to turn Fathers Day into a ‘day of shame’.