Mens needs wants and desires dont feature highly on the agenda of modern marriage.
Bettina Arndt is currently co-hosting a new relationship programme which has just started on Tues nights, 9-11 pm on Sydney radio 2UE. It can be accessed online:
She’s planning to start off softly but if the programme develops she’s hoping to cover some of the more meaty topics she has been writing about recently. But in order for this to happen the programme needs to attract listeners and callers to the talk-back programme. So could you please listen and persuade others to do so. And please call in and contribute to the discussion.
Next Tuesday September 27 she is talking about whether marriage has become a dud deal for men. Here’s an article she wrote about this some years ago. http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/of-marriage-and-men-stereotypes-that-ignore-half-the-story-20121013-27joe.html#ixzz2LgYoCxl9
Here are some of the themes:
It’s long been assumed that marriage is good for men but bad for women. But has that now changed?
Bettina suggests men are waking up to the fact that they are being offered a dud deal. Men’s needs, wants and desires don’t feature highly on the agenda of modern marriage.
It’s rare that they complain openly about their lot but beneath the surface there’s an undercurrent of discontent. Experts working with men report males are bewildered to find themselves in marriages where they never get it right, where they never get any thanks for what they do. Once Dad’s contribution was acknowledged and respected – “Dad’s home! Come on, kids. Don’t bother your Dad. He’s worked hard today.”
Married men are now on a very short leash. Gone are the days when married men could drop off at the pub for a pint or three on the way home from work. Men’s leisure time has dropping for forty years – down two hours between 1974 and 1987 and another ¾ hour since then. Men have seven minutes more free time each day than women (37 minutes compared to 30)
Even though men are working harder than they ever did – and matching women in their total work hours (paid plus unpaid) this rarely gets acknowledged.
This should be a great talk-back topic.. talking about whether men are allowed to come home via the pub anymore.
Also there’s the issue of Mum now making lots of decisions that used to be left to Dad… i.e. whether the son should play football.
We hear endless complaints from women about men’s reluctance to tie the knot – maybe because men have noticed the risks in marriage are loaded against them. Generations of men have watched their friends, their fathers, being turfed out of their marriages – giving away a house and losing contact with their children. She’d love to hear from someone who can talk about MGTOW.
And the second half of the programme will be all about sex –
If you asked men what they’d most like to change about their marriages, there’d be one resounding answer – more sex! There’s been an extraordinary shift from back in the 1950s when sex was amongst a wife’s marital duties to the current situation where women feel entitled to shut up shop if they aren’t interested. Men know the sex supply often dries up in a marriage – and that’s a big deal for them.
Please contact her if you would like more information. But also try to get listeners and callers for her. This is a great opportunity for discussion of men’s issues – provide the programme is successful.