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Tones of Fathers Day

Filed under: General — Downunder @ 12:31 pm Wed 13th September 2017

Recollections of Father’s Day from older men might be a curiosity to younger readers.

For me, being the youngest in the Family, I recall the annual presentation of a white porcelain tea cup with pictures of old cars – we’re talking Model T Fords and Chrysler convertibles, just to be clear, not old bombs.

The modern perception of this annual religious fervour might have us as a bunch of tosspots following in some Old English custom. But it suited a man who didn’t like a lot of fuss, added to his valued collection, and reminded him daily his children had paid their annual respects in person.

Jump forward to 2017 and I am having a different discussion about Father’s Day.

What happened for you on the day?

Some men, although they are aware they have children, have never experienced personal contact on the day. Others experience some form of social media contact that expresses some acknowledgement of the day.

Where possible I asked men in this position to read their messages to me. I’m struck by two thoughts in this process as I listen.

First is, I’ve grown up now, a father is something you had back when.

What I am hearing is an acknowledgement of an historic personality present during the years a father was required.

Second is, it, Fathers’ Day. This does not require any input from us. This is the your day to go and do what you want. Have a happy day.

They remembered and recognised the day on the calender much as you might a Facebook birthday of a friend, rather than a date on the calender that required some action or personal participation.

I am seeing a very different perception and understanding of Father’s Day in the younger social media generation. I’m wondering if others have noticed anything along these lines?

Also, I am curious as to whether the same thing is happening with Mother’s Day?


  1. I look back on this post from last year after Father’s Day.

    It might be good to look at this as we approach the day in 2018.

    Maybe you’ll see something worth adding.

    Comment by Downunder — Tue 28th August 2018 @ 3:42 pm

  2. At some stage the next generation of family law casualties must arrive here.

    Those young men having not only suffered the effects of separation as a child but now as a parent.

    Then perhaps they might reflect on their relationship or lost relationship with their father.

    Comment by Downunder — Wed 29th August 2018 @ 10:19 am

  3. Kim Kardashi-Un
    Bought a Father’s Day card. I have two complaints. (1) Why were a lot of the cards blue? Are we assuming blue is a male colour? We shouldnt use gender specific colours. (2) Ban Father’s Day. It’s offensive to people who dont have fathers and also offensive to the LGBTIQ community

    It had to happen didn’t it.

    Find another reason to make Father’s Day a political football.

    You could could hear the wailing if anyone so much as thought about doing this to Mudder’s Day.

    Comment by Evan Myers — Wed 29th August 2018 @ 8:42 pm

  4. 3,, What an ARSE she is,,, just because she no longer has a Dad..

    Comment by mama — Wed 29th August 2018 @ 9:32 pm

  5. 5,,, but I sure feel bad for all the Dads, like my son, who dont get to celebrate this Fathers’ Day..sad face.

    Comment by mama — Wed 29th August 2018 @ 9:35 pm

  6. Careful with that apostrophe there, Mama.

    Comment by Downunder — Thu 30th August 2018 @ 8:09 am

  7. come on, downunder, you have to tell me what you mean??? or am I just being dumb..does that apostrophe not mean all fathers???ie,, belonging to?? enlightenment please.

    Comment by mama — Thu 30th August 2018 @ 1:14 pm

  8. Have another read through the post and you’ll pick that up.

    Comment by Downunder — Thu 30th August 2018 @ 2:28 pm

  9. grrrr,,,nup…still cannae

    Comment by mama — Thu 30th August 2018 @ 2:51 pm

  10. Recollections of Father’s Day from older men might be a curiosity to younger readers.

    Further down …

    Second is, it, Fathers’ Day. This does not require any input from us. This is the your day to go and do what you want. Have a happy day.

    The apostrophe represents different concepts.

    Comment by Downunder — Thu 30th August 2018 @ 2:57 pm

  11. Okay Apostrophe Man,,,,I will watch my apostrophes in the future…is that latin?

    Comment by mama — Thu 30th August 2018 @ 3:51 pm

  12. Our apostrophe is an English invention and only a relatively recent one. Maybe 200 – 250 years old.

    Comment by Evan Myers — Thu 30th August 2018 @ 3:59 pm

  13. Evan @3: Yeah, perhaps they’ll change Father’s Day to Mummy’s Casual Partner’s Day.

    By the way, we are appalled at the Spark advertisement on TV with the child giving a Father’s Day card to the mother, stating ‘Happy Father’s Day Mummy’. What a cruel insult to those thousands of fathers whose families have been wrecked by incentives for sole motherhood. What do others think?

    Comment by Ministry of Men's Affairs — Thu 30th August 2018 @ 4:04 pm

  14. right…Grammar God, man you guys are a great team….I was refering to the spelling ..but ne’r mind….you sure the Scots did nae invent it???

    Comment by mama — Thu 30th August 2018 @ 4:06 pm

  15. 13,,,Yes, I generally can not handle the use of kids in ugly advertising which generally includes the conglomerates, but that is a sad portrayal of what it is to be family, the song is sooo solemn, the house grey and quiet, they seem so poor,
    maybe Spark will bring back the Dad from his stint in the middle east and the sunshine will shine into the house and into the hearts of the nation..i doubt it

    Comment by mama — Thu 30th August 2018 @ 4:21 pm

  16. I suppose it is better than the portrayal of really “happy people without Dads”, I have noticed a growing number of those, or Dads doing Mummy called Mummy work..remember?

    Comment by mama — Thu 30th August 2018 @ 4:26 pm

  17. No one does the Daddy work anymore because Mummy doesn’t want to do her half of that she just wants to do half as much as she used to.

    Comment by Downunder — Thu 30th August 2018 @ 4:32 pm

  18. Well I do not know any mummies that maintain plumbing, as good as they used to anyway.

    I must boast, my daughter can replace a cars quarterlight, and she holds down a husband, two boys and a job..with her little finger,,, she is the bomb and I do not know another like her.,,AND she loves her Daddy.

    Comment by mama — Thu 30th August 2018 @ 4:47 pm

  19. Quote from a journalist.

    Kids do better if they have a dad in their life.

    Feminist response


    Not hard to see why we have a problem.

    Comment by Evan Myers — Sat 1st September 2018 @ 2:14 pm

  20. Here’s someone out to set the social media tone of Father’s Day.

    The political punching bag.

    Robin Grieve
    Happy Fathers Day to all loving fathers. To the scumbag dropkick deadbeats who have abandoned their children to the taxpayer, hope you get a conscience and perhaps visit your children. They need you even though you are a useless bastard.

    Comment by Evan Myers — Sun 2nd September 2018 @ 10:19 am

  21. Oh now I get it …

    An ACT candidate making a political statement

    I deserve consideration for your vote because I live in the electorate and have done for most of my adult life.

    Our MP must be one of us and not an outsider looking for a meal ticket.

    I also respect the taxpayers of Whangarei.

    Those who tax us must know two things.

    Comment by Evan Myers — Sun 2nd September 2018 @ 10:25 am

  22. Evan @20: Now that is real hate speech. Isn’t it weird how it’s considered ok to indulge in hate speech when that’s against men but not when it’s against almost anyone else?

    Hate speech usually involves spreading false stereotypes about particular groups, as Mr Grieve has done by implying that state funding of sole motherhood is the fault of fathers who abandon their partners and children. In fact, by far the majority of family break-ups are the mother’s choice, then after trashing their children’s family unit the mother very often makes Dad’s attempted contact with his children so unpleasant that it drives the Dad away. This process is often done with robust assistance from the Family Court.

    Also, the claim that fathers ‘abandon their children to the taxpayer’ is ridiculous, with so-called ‘child support’ taxation of fathers amounting to around a third of their after-tax income and usually being much more than the father’s fair share of basic child costs, and further including huge additional taxation called ‘penalties’.

    Cost to taxpayers is due to our government’s foolishness in paying women to trash their children’s family units for whatever reason those women wish. Sole mothers will get paid from around $500 to $1200 per week, often more than their children’s fathers earned. The result for the country includes big increases in child neglect and abuse, teenage delinquency and adult criminality, mental illness and suicide. Don’t blame the fathers for that. Usually they were simply thrown out of their homes, families and role.

    Comment by Ministry of Men's Affairs — Sun 2nd September 2018 @ 11:42 am

  23. This is an Outrage an ACT of WAR.

    Comment by mama — Sun 2nd September 2018 @ 1:46 pm

  24. for the above comment I made, I have to apologise , I do not wish to trivialise the position of a man once he has been successfully alienated from his family, it is of course an outrage that anyone could say such things when families are being torn apart by a sick family court system.

    The use of affidavits are a dangerous tool in this system…there are so many dangers, but this one can be crushing when you consider there is no investigation as to whether what is being put on paper is true, especially when it can be seen as very damaging EVIDENCE.

    Comment by mama — Sun 2nd September 2018 @ 3:02 pm

  25. #24

    Act of War wasn’t just a good pun it was a good assessment of the situation.

    I really don’t think anyone will be requiring an apology.

    Comment by Downunder — Sun 2nd September 2018 @ 4:11 pm

  26. I just did not want any one to take offence and think I was being too punfull with the serious nature of things, ..

    Comment by mama — Sun 2nd September 2018 @ 5:48 pm

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