You All Paid For It, So Thanks
As I said, here is the update.
I just received the Protection Order and Parenting Order today – two young policemen did their duty by delivering and pseudo reading out what they deemed to be important – no contact, no firearms, lasting forever, etc, etc. I had to let him carry on I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I knew more about the law than he likely ever will and that anyway I have already been through this before.
He wondered why there was two copies of the Parenting Order, but after closing the door on them I discovered it wasn’t two copies it was the reserved findings of Judge P R Grace and the Parenting Order – which to nobodies surprise gives custody to this “thing” (I can’t even think of an appropriate noun for her).
Needless to say al the judgements were based on allegations and poorly derived logic and misunderstanding from the judge – but he couldn’t care less.
I have kind of forgotten why I defended – oh yes so as not to have to pay full costs, but really I can’t remember why I bothered.
Next week is criminal case, if I can sober / still alive / I guess I will attend.
2 counts of breaking Telecommunications ACT 2001 s112(2)(a) –
“Every person commits an offence who uses, or causes or permits to be used, any telephone device for the purpose of disturbing, annoying or irritating any person, whether by calling up without speech or by wantonly or maliciously transmitting communications or sounds, with the intention of offending the recipient.”
This was for calling the “thing” twice after midnight 1 time just 3 weeks after she had taken my kids, the second was a month later. Both times I was out of my mind with stress and wanted to plead with her to stop the nonsense, the first time I got her answer machine and didn’t leave a message, the second time when she answered the phone and I heard her voice, I despaired and hung up – I couldn’t talk to her.
Who really cares. It’s just hell on earth.
Hang in there Martin. Keep speaking up reasonably. Some District Court judges have sense and integrity and would be able to recognize that your breaches were trivial and under provocation of threat to your relationship with your children, done at an early time of extreme stress and unlikely to be repeated.
Remember also that applications can be made to FC any time unless and until a judge places some kind of partial block on them for people seen to have used them mischievously. So keep meticulous records, date, time, situation, events and verbatim things said by any relevant person including the child(ren). Wait until the other party or representative does something or things bad enough that the FC can’t ignore it, then strike. From what you say, and as has been the experience of many fathers here, the other party is likely to show true colours. Things such as breaching the parenting order, the children repeating badmouth comments they heard about you, any events that cause risk or harm to the children. If you can, try to view the longer picture and realize that current events are not so important.
Remember also that all things pass, accept that you feel real bad now but you will feel better again. Over time, notice small improvements and remind yourself that things are moving slowly toward healing.
I like the lyrics from a song called ‘Living the Blues’ that I thought was written by Buddy Guy but can’t seem to find confirmation of that:
I’m living the blues, I’m living the blues tonight
I’m in no mood to get myself together
Feel so bad I don’t wanna feel better
I’m living the blues, living the blues tonight
Comment by Man X Norton — Sun 11th June 2017 @ 10:58 am
Don’t give up Martin!
A breach of P.O. – well, if as you say is only due to contact via a message and text and you have stopped some time ago then you won’t have problem because you have not continued.
Nobody could pass judgement on that as no threats contained.I can understand when under duress.
Do everything you can to maintain contact with the kids and stay the fuck away from her!
As your kids are teenagers find another way for them to contact you and DO NOT MAKE ANY comments about your ex to them. Focus on outcomes and why she is denying you contact.
Take your partner with you to court and she can be a support person. It shows you are stable and want what’s best for the children.
Fight for them as they will see what she is trying to do.
P’s Its not a criminal case unless you are in the criminal court.
Comment by Buster — Sun 11th June 2017 @ 11:05 am
Thanks guys. It is a criminal court, the partner is not real she left a while back.
Comment by martin — Sun 11th June 2017 @ 11:41 am
How can it be criminal if she is not there?
To ambiguous for me to follow and so is it only the Police in attendance.
Comment by Buster — Sun 11th June 2017 @ 11:58 am
Police charge, she is a witness. You’ve lost me too – if you break into someones house, it’s criminal but they may not be there. I was at FC last week, this week it’s criminal over phone calls. Sorry if i’m not making much sense, I’m drunk
Comment by martin — Sun 11th June 2017 @ 12:13 pm
is there somewhere I can place my complete case?
Comment by martin — Sun 11th June 2017 @ 12:30 pm
Martin
That is a piss poor analogy mate! We are not stupid, you cannot end up on criminal charges unless you have threatened someone?
“the partner is not real she left a while back.” WTF is that.
If you require help then the decent thing to do is remain sober while you give feed back.
If you want a lawyer, go for it, but stock up on the booze cause your gonna need lots of it!
This forum is to help , support those in need of friendly advice.
I take it from your answers you are no longer in need of either?
Comment by Buster — Tue 13th June 2017 @ 5:23 am
This was written on the Backbone Collective face book page.
Your problems are that you place ALL Men under the one umbrella, which is akin to saying all single women over 50 ( that would be your age group), are LESBIANS! Give me a break. That you dumb asses stay in relationships that are negative non functional and abusive and say, I can’t leave because of the kids. Absolute BULLSHIT! If a partner MAN or WOMEN is abusive and shows recidivist behaviour – then get the F… Out, period (no pun intended).
Like
Brent Matches Your major problem is thus, because you stay so long in relationships and then drop another sprog in the hope that will achieve something/ or change expectations and it doesn’t and then after seeing what has happened to your kids and the negative environment YOU yeah that’s right YOU, being the ADULT finally realise you have caused their dis-functionality by staying there. Then you get ANGRY, then RETRIBUTIVE, then NASTY , why? Because you finally woke up to the FACT, “F… I could have avoided all this by dumping this ass-hole ” Yeah that’s right YOU !!! You damaged your kids because you stayed and thus destroying YOUR children’s Right to a safe, happy environment. So here is some advice GIRLS, IF the prick is violent and YOUR 50% of the problem by STAYING then get the FUCK OUT! That is something that is undeniable, what say you?
Comment by Buster — Tue 13th June 2017 @ 6:08 am
Buster, so which part of your advice is friendly? When you say “we are not stupid” I think you should only speak for yourself.
I posted what the criminal charge was, I’ll spell it out again
– 2 counts of breaking Telecommunications ACT 2001 s112(2)(a) –
“Every person commits an offence who uses, or causes or permits to be used, any telephone device for the purpose of disturbing, annoying or irritating any person, whether by calling up without speech or by wantonly or maliciously transmitting communications or sounds, with the intention of offending the recipient.”
It’s not feedback that’s something you give at the supermarket reading service, however thanks for your advice re lawyers – I note you said you have had 4 protection orders.
You are right in your last comment, I no longer need YOUR help or “friendly advice”, as non of it makes any sense. I have the excuse of being drunk.
Comment by martin — Tue 13th June 2017 @ 11:45 am
Just had a discharge without conviction from criminal court today – criminal court seems somewhat more pleasant than FC. Now back to trying to get to see my daughter again!!
Comment by martin — Thu 15th June 2017 @ 11:59 am
10, Martin, I’m Glad your day was as good as can be expected.
About the “discharge without conviction” did you get to hear the words “not guilty” or was it just a case of “we admit we cant prove what is believed to be the truth”?
Comment by voices back from the bush — Thu 15th June 2017 @ 7:44 pm
Good question “voices” – it was a little more complicated – I pleaded guilty, but my affidavit stated that I called in order to reason with my ex – which was actually not the crime I was being charged with. The lawyer, she plea – bargained with the prosecutor that if i pleaded guilty and asked for a s106 (basically the punishment would outweigh the crime – I think under the crimes act) that he would support that “sentence”. So I guess the judge, who couldn’t be assed, knowing that this domestic stuff is just silly and knowing I had a protection order in place, didn’t want me to have a conviction or even argue the point 🙂
So all good. It’s a different world in the criminal court – evidence / proof / reasonable / petty all these come to mind!
Comment by martin — Thu 15th June 2017 @ 9:44 pm
After reading some of the comments and the reason for Martin being in court i have to say i feel little sympathy or empathy for this situation.
If you breach a PO then you only have yourself to blame.
As a man and father of twin girls i went through the family court BS and have to say if you follow the stupid rules (right or wrong) then they have nothing to fault you on and you can then not be stopped from being an awesome father.
When my girls were 3 months old their mother and i broke up and she had post natal depression and was on meds yet still got care straight after the break up and withheld access for months.
I went through the stupid stopping violence (as part of made up protection order) i did the supervised access , i did the day access until it moved to a couple of nights a week and IT ALL SUCKED ARSE.
But i bit my lip through all that 8 months or there about, and from there it went to shared care as i had shown (for right or wrong) that i was a great dad.
Now here we are 7 years and change down the road and i have continued to bite my tongue and i have my girls Mon morn 7am til Friday arvo 4:30pm and they only go to their mothers for weekends.
You have to work with the system (for right or wrong) and good parents will win.
This means no PO breaches for whatever reason you choose to justify it, and no other BS that you know can be used against you.
Comment by Jase — Fri 23rd June 2017 @ 1:18 pm
A recent comment that appears to have fallen victim to the spam filter, so reposted here:
From Jase:
After reading some of the comments and the reason for Martin being in court i have to say i feel little sympathy or empathy for this situation.
If you breach a PO then you only have yourself to blame.
As a man and father of twin girls i went through the family court BS and have to say if you follow the stupid rules (right or wrong) then they have nothing to fault you on and you can then not be stopped from being an awesome father.
When my girls were 3 months old their mother and i broke up and she had post natal depression and was on meds yet still got care straight after the break up and withheld access for months.
I went through the stupid stopping violence (as part of made up protection order) i did the supervised access , i did the day access until it moved to a couple of nights a week and IT ALL SUCKED ARSE.
But i bit my lip through all that 8 months or there about, and from there it went to shared care as i had shown (for right or wrong) that i was a great dad.
Now here we are 7 years and change down the road and i have continued to bite my tongue and i have my girls Mon morn 7am til Friday arvo 4:30pm and they only go to their mothers for weekends.
You have to work with the system (for right or wrong) and good parents will win.
This means no PO breaches for whatever reason you choose to justify it, and no other BS that you know can be used against you.
Comment by Ministry of Men's Affairs — Mon 26th June 2017 @ 2:24 pm