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Grace Millane Tragedy Exploited by Feminists

Filed under: Domestic Violence,Gender Politics,General,Law & Courts,White Ribbon Campaign — Ministry of Men's Affairs @ 1:27 pm Sat 15th December 2018

Our heartfelt empathy goes out to the family and associates of Grace Millane. Losing one’s child must be one of the most traumatic experiences humans can face. The unpleasant circumstances of Grace’s case can only serve to increase the pain and devastation.

Much of the NZ population has experienced deep sadness, shame and anger. Grace died in NZ when she should have enjoyed her travels. A representative of NZ has been charged with her murder.

The Ministry of Men’s Affairs would rather not discuss this case at this time. It seems insensitive to do so. However, male-denigrating people have shown no such restraint and some response is necessary.

Only police and a few other people closely involved in the case know the details of what is alleged to have happened. But that hasn’t stopped many other people from making all manner of public pronouncements, admonishing kiwi men and associating Grace’s death with domestic violence statistics (even though this was not a domestic violence matter), rape and attitudes towards women.

At the present time all those gender political comments can only be based on assumption, stereotyping and jumping to conclusions. They also seem based on a failure to respect an accused’s right to the presumption of innocence and on forgetting that the prosecution’s claims about what happened are a story often found to be inaccurate under the lens of Court scrutiny. At this stage of public ignorance about the case, gender political proselytizing shows and promotes a witch-hunt mentality under false certitude about what happened.

It’s possible, even likely, that the assumptions leading to all the commentary will turn out to be accurate, but currently we simply don’t know. Instead, it’s possible that the homicide was done in self defence. It’s possible that police have the wrong person and that a woman committed the homicide. It’s possible that Ms Millane died due to drug overdose and her associate freaked out and attempted to cover this up. It’s possible that the offender was insane. At this stage we simply don’t know.

Until we do know, the gender political commentary cannot be justified. The only reason it’s tolerated is because men are the target. Men are readily subjected to all manner of blame, stereotyping and discrimination that would not be acceptable for any other group. A tiny proportion of men commit serious violence yet each violent male is treated as representing all men and male attitudes. We don’t see that happening for Maori; that would be racist and totally unacceptable even though Maori commit a much higher rate of violent crime than do non-Maori. We jump to the defence of most law-abiding Muslims when a few of that faith commit horrific violence towards ‘infidels’. But when it comes to men it seems acceptable to criticize without restraint all men and indeed maleness itself on the basis of the actions of a few. Ironically, this duplicity is based on historical sexism that expects men to just ‘man up’, grin and bear any hardship and to matyr themselves at women’s behest.

The male-bashing commentary around the Grace Millane case parrots statistics in an unbalanced and misrepresenting way. For example, frequent claims that NZ is more violent than most other developed countries are highly dubious and depend on one or a few data comparisons while ignoring others. According to the Global Peace Index 2017, New Zealand is ranked the second-safest country in the world, next to Iceland. Further, the inaccurate statement is repeated that ’13 women’ or ‘up to 14 women’ are murdered each year in New Zealand. That’s not correct; the figure of 13 probably refers to the number of females killed in domestic homicides. For males the figure was 11 but why isn’t that mentioned? About 20% of domestic homicides are committed by women; that’s much lower than for men but it’s not insignificant. False attempts by the Family Violence Death Review Committee to classify female killers of their partners as ‘primary victims’ in the relationships cannot cover up those cases clearly based on jealousy, profit or other common motives.

Regarding homicides in society generally, more men than women are killed through violence each year. In 2016, the last year for which official figures are available, 22 women and 28 men were murdered and 27 women and 31 men were killed altogether including manslaughter. It’s incredible that statistics on the gender of offenders are really difficult to find; one suspects this is a deliberate ploy to hide the proportion of violence committed by women. However, news media accounts make it clear that homicides and other crimes of violence by women are not rare.

Sure, men are more violent physically than women and anti-violence efforts deserve to be focused in due proportion on men’s behaviour. However, the issue is ‘violence’, a phenomenon with many varied causes across its instances, not primarily masculinity, attitudes towards women or other matters that may play a part in some cases.

The prominent NZ women who signed the ‘open letter to the men and government of New Zealand’ should know better than to draw gender political conclusions from their position of ignorance about the facts of the Grace Millane case. The ‘open letter’ is patronizing towards men, amounts to gender discrimination and fuels a dangerous, ongoing war against men. Its publication at this premature stage served to ensure that male denigration is achieved before the Grace Millane case goes through Court, thereby avoiding the risk that the outcome actually won’t justify any male-denigrating generalizations. In doing this the signatories have brought their own cause into disrepute. Because of the stage at which this open letter was published, it will serve to harden the attitudes of many thinking men against feminist ideology and those who are spreading it.


  1. The way the media handled this was deplorable,its bad enough getting daily media releases demeaning males, with out this being chucked in to the mix,with absolutely no information relating to the crime.We clearly have a situation where all media are connecting to make Violence in the Community solely a male thin.Data from police sources show women to be nearly as bad as men in this area, and even worse in their violence on children. Consistant misrepresentation of data by media who one can only assume use information sent to them from Womens Ministries. Time the cross field media organisations were taken to task for their sexist agenda against males.
    A lot of anger is now been created in male circles due to our irresponsible media, seems fems are dominating the media hence time for equality of sexs in the media area ie more males so we can start reporting stuff from a male perspective.

    Comment by Pat Keane — Sun 16th December 2018 @ 8:51 pm

  2. Hi MoMA

    It really, really pisses me off that the tragic death of Grace Millane is used by so many “leading women” of NZ to bash men.

    Please check your email for my proposed response.

    Comment by Audi Alteram Partem — Sun 16th December 2018 @ 10:50 pm

  3. I think these women of prominence that penned an open letter to the government and men of nz are more interested in berating, insulting and making plans for male brain indoctrination , – punishing males than protecting women.
    What’s wrong with suggesting that there’s measures people can take when dating to stay out of danger.
    These tinder hookups have only been around for a few years and should not be considered a reliable way to meet people that are safe to be alone with.
    Traditionally people most often met by an introduction through friends and their general character was known.
    With tinder it’s just about looks and whatever hit piece of a profile story the person posts.

    If your unsure about the character of the potential partner, stick to meeting in public places.
    Don’t drink too much or take drugs that might influence your judgement.
    If your not convinced your safe, end the date and try meeting someone else.
    If it’s casual sex hookups you want it’s better to approach someone who you know is safe to be alone with.
    This is not just advice for women but advice for anyone that likes to be adventurous but safe.
    Men too are at risk.
    The media nor the feminist politicians or women of prominence show any concern for them.
    Yet they’d be the first to claim it’s everyone else’s sexism that the problem.
    Men are more than twice as likely to be victims of violence or homicide as females are in spite of the media hype pretending otherwise.
    Men can be victims of female abuse or a woman might deliberatly be caught with a date to pay back her boyfriend for something.
    She might encourage him to be violent towards you to test his loyalty to her.
    There are predators out there.
    We can’t root them all out before they’ve done any wrong and reengineer their brains with feminist logic as is being proposed.
    Constantly telling men they have a rape culture and they are predisposed to want to hurt women and that they need cleansing of the toxic masculinity will not prevent violence.
    It just perpetuates indifference between the sexes which is the feminist main goal.
    I’m sure I’ll be accused of victim blaming but I think it’s better to warn of dangers to everyone about the new technology and risks associated than to consentrate efforts on shaming men that have not committed violence and likely never will.
    Violence is not a gendered issue nor is being a victim.
    There may be a lot we could do to reduce the risk of violence to everyone but this will never happen till we confront these feminists and say “you have no solutions, you only care about half the problem. You are not helping. Leave innocent men and boys alone. ” !

    Comment by Voices back from the bush — Mon 17th December 2018 @ 8:17 am

  4. The ongoing tragedy is the emotional deficiency of politicians and media who don’t take into account the emotionally marginal percentage of our population who might see the opportunity for attention either by disappearing or replicating this crime.

    Comment by Evan Myers — Mon 17th December 2018 @ 8:41 am

  5. There is an old saying – the hand that rocks the cradle…….
    With the failings to protect children from mothers, by both CYFs and familycaught$, that saying is more true today than it ever was.
    Even now, counsellors are only just starting to accept that complaints about sexual and physical abuse of boys by women (including their own mothers) are often valid complaints. I have heard several men describe how they were laughed at by counsellors, when they requested counselling to undo the harm from such abuse.
    Perhaps if we in fact protected boys from sexual abuse by women, we would then be manufacturing far fewer rapists each year?
    It is easy to point a finger.
    There is a lot of social research in this territory. But the research is not influencing policy, as pressure groups don’t bother to read up, they just use manipulative and often dishonest techniques to try to influence politicians. Poorly thought out social policy in the end does as much harm as it was intended to prevent. Dear old perverse effects strikes again…..
    We also need to consider the harms done by the “justice system” in terms of damage to the lives of innocent defendants, their legal costs and impacts onto children, of deterring men from such professions as teaching.

    Comment by MurrayBacon — Mon 17th December 2018 @ 10:12 pm

  6. Remember the THINK BIG projects, a modern one with a social bent may well serve to be the most costly yet, so much time and money spent to do something BIG, to what outcome, it is not mortar we are talking of, this time it is mortals, what the cost??? is a ticking cradle.

    Comment by mama — Mon 17th December 2018 @ 11:24 pm

  7. #5 The hand that rocks the cradle is from a 19th century American poem;

    Blessings on the hand of women!
    Angels guard its strength and grace.
    In the palace, cottage, hovel,
    Oh, no matter where the place;
    Would that never storms assailed it,
    Rainbows ever gently curled,
    For the hand that rocks the cradle
    Is the hand that rules the world.

    Infancy’s the tender fountain,
    Power may with beauty flow,
    Mothers first to guide the streamlets,
    From them souls unresting grow —
    Grow on for the good or evil,
    Sunshine streamed or evil hurled,
    For the hand that rocks the cradle
    Is the hand that rules the world.

    Woman, how divine your mission,
    Here upon our natal sod;
    Keep – oh, keep the young heart open
    Always to the breath of God!
    All true trophies of the ages
    Are from mother-love impearled,
    For the hand that rocks the cradle
    Is the hand that rules the world.

    Blessings on the hand of women!
    Fathers, sons, and daughters cry,
    And the sacred song is mingled
    With the worship in the sky —
    Mingles where no tempest darkens,
    Rainbows evermore are hurled;
    For the hand that rocks the cradle
    Is the hand that rules the world.

    As you might see, it is a confused analogy of Christianity and Feminism that is worth considering in its entirety, along with the idea that to rule the world is dictatorial and destructive.

    Comment by Downunder — Tue 18th December 2018 @ 7:23 am

  8. Thanks Downunder. I take your point about the confused mixture. Such a mixture is all the more hazardous, as it is necessary to sort the pieces very carefully to see to what extent they are wise or useful and in what situations they are useful?
    Constructive forward progress will only occur when we learn to carefully apply knowledge about human behaviour. That sounds so easy, but in practice it takes a huge amount of time to understand knowledge about human behaviour and to apply it sensibly to drafting social policy and legislation.
    Jumping to conclusions is so easy by comparison. And it is so much more fun, when you think you are winning.
    The Needle and the Damage Done…….

    Comment by MurrayBacon — Tue 18th December 2018 @ 9:18 am

  9. It’s sad and horrible…

    Comment by Pokitren — Mon 14th February 2022 @ 9:06 pm

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