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International Men’s Day NZ

Filed under: General — Iain Fergusson @ 2:23 pm Mon 1st October 2018


We have been working to promoting International Men’s Day in New Zealand. You can connect with us here:

We are in Christchurch and have a bikers’ run planned for Sunday 18th.

We are also encouraging everybody to post a short story about a man in their lives who has been a positive influence on them, or they admire, or are grateful for, to social media with the hashtag #MensDayNZ.


21 Responses to “International Men’s Day NZ”

  1. Audi Alteram Partem says:

    Love, love, love your work!

    And especially the inclusiveness.

    We are hoping to start a similar group up in Auckland shortly.

    We should talk…

  2. Evan Myers says:

    You could check his website out …

    My day job is running a support service for men based in Christchurch. Our goal is Happy Healthy Canterbury Men and it involves a range of different projects.

    Occasionally I come across people that say they want to do something more for men and boys. They aren’t thinking individual change but larger social change to address the many challenges that men/boys face.

    Usually, I shrug and say “I want that too” pat them on the back and say be sure to sign up to our emails and I’ll keep an eye out for ways they can help. It’s such a daunting project taking on a culture, and living in an earthquake-prone city with a complex rebuild of my house has made this even harder to focus on more esoteric issues.

  3. Audi Alteram Partem says:

    Thanks Evan.

    I did… and read on past your excerpt that notes how challenging it all is… to the exceptionally exciting and positive excerpt as follows:

    It’s interesting for me to watch a group form and evolve. It’s all part of the community development I do in my day job. But I’m finding this project especially rewarding already and expect us to have much more significant outcomes than I’d ever considered. I hope I’m looking back in another few months and saying it was even bigger than I thought at this point. I look forward to making that further post.

  4. Iain Fergusson says:

    Thanks for the support.

    You can email us at info [at]

    It’d be great if you wanted to do something in Auckland for Men’s Day. Doesn’t have to be big, perhaps just say you’ll be at a cafe if people want to meet for a chat. (maybe on Sunday 18th rather than Monday 19th.

    I should point out that Canterbury Men’s Centre is being supportive but we are not officially affiliated with them.

  5. Downunder says:

    We are also encouraging everybody to post a short story about a man in their lives who has been a positive influence on them, or they admire, or are grateful for, to social media with the hashtag #MensDayNZ.

    Like this idea.

    Would be great to see a flood of short stories in the comments on this post.

  6. Iain Fergusson says:


    You go first 🙂

  7. Downunder says:

    Picking any one man to tell a story about is hard.

    As a child I spent a lot of time around older people who were generous with their time and teachings, I suppose you would call it. In that respect I developed a curiosity to learn from what I heard and saw, in that trusted environment, but I was never hurt by any man or my curiosity while I took what I could from what they had to offer.

    Growing into an adult I learned you could take as much in terms of learning from the not so nice people out in the real world, and there are some negative rather than positive stories that also hold significant value for me.

    I don’t have a single inspirational figure that I have endearing respect for, rather a collection of good and bad stories that I add to in life’s adventure.

    So, from that I will have to pick a favourite, and get on to writing the story.

  8. JustCurious says:

    My Story would be about three women ( a senior Fam Judge and two senior lawyers) who within a month of handling my case made conclusions about the dynamic that the men that had sat on this case for 9 years and a whole line up of conceited male judges could never understand.

    Because of these three women, I am a father again.

    WE should get all male Judges out of the family Court.

  9. Downunder says:

    If I was being honest, my heroes live in their books – not as literary heroes in a story but in their enormous and timeless written continuations – Michael King, A Penguin History of New Zealand is close to home.
    I have to say, I was more than a little disappointed when one of our significant female journalists admitted she’d never read Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. The first inspirational writer that caught my attention was the man hiding behind the original Star Trek, Gene Roddenberry. I found a fascination in his stories beyond the technology.

    But, sad to say, in this journey I’ve seen real heroes, quiet warriors, that often go unnoticed and since this story is going to be posted here I thought I’d chose a relevant one that our audience can relate to.

    COSA (Casualties of Sexual Allegations) has been mentioned recently. Something I only saw the end of in its transition to the NSMC (North Shore Men’s Centre). So, in that mixed room there were also casualties of the Family Court, and that I suspect made it even harder for COSA members.

    In that respect there was a greater professional significance to Felicity’s familiar presence, with John at her side, in that room, than any of the time-wasters who launched torpedoes at her, could ever own.

    They owned the couch against the wall.

    And in their view, there was another couch opposite and one to their left and a chair in between those two couches where Paul sat. A quiet, well mannered man, with his fresh face and dark hair. It’s not my place to repeat his story, other than to note its insidious nature and devastating impact.

    In that battle field of silent terror, under the shelling of accusation and perception sat a Willie Apiata, who reached out to those around him where he saw that need in others as much as he did in himself.

    Each week he came with a contribution; the latest intelligence on the enemy’s processes from his advance party.

    He’d crawled under the barbed wire, dodged the land mines, and swum the river to face the enemy, himself. They didn’t retreat or surrender. No, they had a psychological weapon waiting.

    He called it moving the goalposts, and explained in more detail to a quiet audience how this might impact them, and how, in the snap of two fingers, they’d be given a new obstacle course.

    The terror of war may be escaped by many but the viciousess of peace escapes even more of us.

  10. Iain Fergusson says:

    Thanks, Downunder

    I’ve had the opportunity to think about this for a while and so the ‘story’ I will share is really simple.

    I grateful that my brother is reliable and always willing to help out. He a good dude.

    That’s it 🙂

  11. Audi Alteram Partem says:

    As a child on the rare occasions that I could sense tension between Mum and Dad, Dad would say “I’m going for a walk” and he did. When he got home an hour or so later the heat had dissipated and they sorted things out amicably. Thanks Dad for the great lesson.

    Mahatma Gandhi – for showing how oppression can be resisted without violence.

    Marshall Rosenberg – for showing how non-violent communication is more effective.

  12. mama says:

    The teenage years stretch everyone to their limits so way or another. To help me grow with a sense of humour was a man named Murray Deaker, he was my social studies teacher, we learned of the local and worldwide wars, we were cheeky in his class and if we were not paying enough attention he shot chalk at us, and if someone was in need of an extra lesson in behaviour out came his fish nets, and that was how your lunchtime would be spent.

    He was our teacher, a friend, he liked us back and everyone respected him.

  13. JustFuriousToday says:

    That explains a lot 🙂

    If I was being honest, my heroes live in their books

    A nightmare for some is life outside the pages of a book or a screen.
    Education for most is a crime.
    In the past scribes used writing to codify the world around them and thus discovered magic and spells.
    Then the scribes became priests, followed suit and codified religion.
    With the pen and the written word, they enslaved kings and thus ruled the world.
    Upon discovering the power in the pen, Pope after pope claimed the land, then the sea and land and then all souls as God’s regents on Earth and thus the LAW of Trust was born.
    ad perpetueum….
    Since then, the pen has ruled the world.
    Old scribes turned priests became lawyers and judges. Witchcraft and spells

    Charlemagne once decided education was a right, little knowing the priesthood had a register already. The old family bible now state register.

    In this register, every child born is turned into cargo and then berthed on a certificate at the hospital, now the unloading dock.

    To balance such cruelty, romance and chivalry were invented and penned by drunkards and visionaries

    And idealism created to replace forbearance and tolerance or true Justice.

    It all started with “Take all the shit we give you and you will be rewarded in heaven.”

    Now this heaven is on Earth and a weapon of mass social disruption (equality, justice, fairness, democratie, representation) empty vessels of discord

    Tools of damnation and self dissolution

    An eye for an eye, he who kills by the sword shall perish by the sword, turn the other butt cheek. All Replaced by “justice”, “crime” and removal of rights – at their discretion.

    International men days in NZ

    Who are we kidding?

    Ghosts we are. just walking, shitting, breathing, fornicating, lying, cheating, hopeful, loving, caring ghosts of human.

    I feel sad reading about man day or woman day or worker day or child day or any segment of the world population day.

    This shows how education has brainswashed us.

    The scribes knew this when education became a prerequisite to social participation

    In the past only those knowing Latin could read the bible. Charlemagne screwed up the priesthood monopoly.

    Now that those times are long gone, they want every one to be able to read.

    But they invented a new latin called legalese

    Spend your childhood in front of a book.
    ON chairs, in an institution, 6 hours every day staring at windows.
    Or lost in a faerie tale just to passsssssssssss time

    Forget about the brook with the eels and yabbies children used to catch.
    Forget about playing tarzan on trees
    Forget about putting fireworks in mailboxes.
    Forget about playing doctor with your female friends out in the barn as a pre teen
    Forget about spending the day riding bikes.
    Forget about shoplifting as a dare and risk taking
    Forget about swimming to the island and running away from home.
    Forget about helping and contributing in the household at 14 or younger

    Easier to read Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn and yell out “Mom! I am hungry!”

    Good kids must read, they say. “what a smart kid!” “He reads all the time!!!”

    NO he is not reading, he is listening to the adult conversation behind his book

    Celebrate men days is a joke, a sad joke.

    Celebrate every right we have LOST AS HUMAN BEINGS –

  14. Audi Alteram Partem says:

    Dear Mister Just F Today.

    I would just (hiccup) like to (hiccup) say (hiccup) that I wuzzz not drunk when i says dat stuff bout shiver… shiver… chivalry… sho there!

  15. Downunder says:

    @13 You’ve obviously misunderstood what I meant by my heroes living in their books.

    Unfortunately Michael King was killed in a car accident some years ago and I never had the pleasure of meeting him. But having read A Penguin History of NZ I can appreciate the extent of his life’s work.

    As for Charles Dickens, he was the editor of a struggling newspaper and wrote a serial column with the help of a mentor (a writer) to explain the contemporary situation of the street people to the upper class. That was later turned into a book with a different ending, and that is how Great Expectations became such a significant book. Not to take anything away from Mark Twain as you refer to, simply different examples of contemporary writing processes.

    Let’s not get into a discussion about the adult voices in the background or Gene Roddenberry but I would point out his concept of the Borg.

    While I appreciate your summation of some of the negative aspects of the written word and the social impact on literature, let’s not take away from what Iain suggested in this post and followed up with himself …

    A story about a man, who has left an impression on you.

  16. JustCurious-notFuriousAnymore says:

    Murray’s split pseudonym disorder may be infectious.
    Just a moment’s rant Downblunder.
    Good ripost

  17. Downunder says:


    What’s the story on the bikers run you mentioned for the 18th November?

    Is there a link to information on that?

  18. Iain Fergusson says:


    Here’s the facebook event page for the bikers run

  19. Kiwi Keith says:

    I checked out the MensDay website. It had a definate odour of PC or (Political Conformity). Coming from what my experiences have taught me, the male positive bit in it, is not obvious to me. I saw subjects in it which in my view are ambiguous and so can turn out to be male hostile. These days language is tortured and I consider that many statements in there can mean other than we might think they mean. I will leave that alone.

  20. Downunder says:

    I checked out the International Day literature and I would have to agree, it was over the top, groveling PC.

    First, I’m wondering if what’s happening in New Zealand is an extension of that … or are we doing our own thing #downunder?

    Second, “The language is tortured” … I’m curious … What does that mean?

  21. Iain Fergusson says:

    @19 and 20

    I think you raise fair points. I will explain what I was thinking.

    Men’s day is a Grassroots event. It is important that people can make Men’s Day their own thing. Our language is non-specific and a bit ambiguous on purpose so people can make Men’s Day fit their own vision for the day.

    There are several (generally overseas) articles online criticising Men’s Day. I have tried to address those critical ideas on the website. Most of the criticism comes from “Political Conformists”, as you put it, which means I talk about the things they are concerned about. This may be producing the odour you are detecting.

    Men’s Day will be what people make it. We want you to be involved. If nobody does anything, nothing gets done and we have lost any potential that is there.

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