MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

State of Grief

Filed under: General — Downunder @ 5:51 pm Tue 30th January 2024

I once said to myself if I write a book it should be called, ‘State of Grief’.

That was more than 2 decades ago but is as relevant today as it was then.

You could approach that in so many ways as an individual depending on your circumstances.

But as a society as with any culture it comes back to basic anthropology where the piazza needs a commonsense.

This is what we lack in New Zealand. We’ve never developed our culture. We can’t agree on that.

What we have done though, is develope our identity, whether that is Kiwi-can-do, clean green, cheese makers or sailors.

The one big eyesore is that we don’t respect our children.

One side beats them to death before they are born and the other after.

This is the significant defining obstacle to one people that may be as deliberate as it is consequential.

There is a simple truth here, that a society that lacks respect for its children doesn’t deserve a future.


  1. If you think about it, there’s no qualification to be a parent.
    If 10% of parents are bad in some way, then that’s a huge number.
    If there was a parenting test, how many people today would fail.
    What is this test or standard, what are we deciding to judge.

    It’s a dilemma because there is bad parents, who harm development.
    Barely functioning adults, who then have children.
    But if you took the children away, who gets the children.
    It may be a person who passed a test, yet abuse still happens.

    You could imagine extremes, like needing to get qualifications.
    Only specially trained people, should be able to raise children.
    Or the state takes all children, raising them like a factory.
    All parenting is monitored, the AI world is watching.

    For NZ it’s about numbers, they are desperate for more babies.
    So there is no rules, anybody can have children.
    And you cannot stop it, you cannot stop sexual activity.
    Again you would need to be extreme, to dictate who’s a parent.

    Most parents I see seem good, I think most try to be good.
    I also think there’s no perfect parent, no perfect parenting.
    But as the post points out, NZ can be much better.
    If 10% of children get bad parents, that is a state of grief.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Thu 1st February 2024 @ 7:57 pm

  2. If you think about it the human is the only animal that tries to excuse its failure.

    Comment by Downunder — Thu 1st February 2024 @ 10:28 pm

  3. Maybe in the animal kingdom, learning from failure means intelligence.
    We go to a next level with failure, explaining our failure to others.
    An animal may learn from failure, or be like a robot repeating the failure.
    To fail you must also try, and to not fail you must learn from trying.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Fri 2nd February 2024 @ 8:22 am

  4. This story is about a child, it could be anybody’s child.

    Part of me gets angry at such stories, I guess evil things can do that.
    It’s important to look at the story, and how it begins.
    One may say it’s October 7, yet I’ve watched Israel destroy before.
    One evil thing, should not cause another evil thing.
    This story begins, with a decision to destroy homes.
    There is no military target, it’s like a game conquering the map.
    And if you know the Israeli, they have map of a promised land.
    If the girl stayed she would die, leaving wasn’t any better.

    “The Hamada family was trying to get to safety. An order from the Israeli military had gone out earlier on Monday, ordering them to evacuate their neighbourhood in Gaza City.”

    They are ordering them from there homes, so they can destroy them.
    Geez how kind of the Israeli, they will even quote their kindness.
    You are guilty by association, and are now a refugee.
    Neighbourhoods gone, the Palestinian eradication complete.

    I am not surprised at the story, soldiers shoot whatever moves.
    It’s always been that way, even the Americans slaughter innocents.
    Wherever there is war, you find pictures of broken children.
    There is not one story of a child, there is millions of stories.
    War brings poverty and slavery, orphans and refugees.

    Anger becomes grief, can you not see a next turn.
    The little girl like millions of others, is waiting for the adults.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Sat 3rd February 2024 @ 11:54 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

Please note that comments which do not conform with the rules of this site are likely to be removed. They should be on-topic for the page they are on. Discussions about moderation are specifically forbidden. All spam will be deleted within a few hours and blacklisted on the stopforumspam database.

This site is cached. Comments will not appear immediately unless you are logged in. Please do not make multiple attempts.

Skip to toolbar