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Key steps to take to reduce anxiety, worry, unease and nervousness during reunification of child victims who have been subject to relentless parental alienation for years.
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After some 40 years there is increased recognition of parental alienation.
Although this is a gender neutral conversation if you watched the video you no doubt visualised a man walking along the beach with his child rather than woman.
Sadly what we see here is that men have no feelings and if they do those feelings can be ignored and their reality is invisible.
If the alienating parent is still hard at work, then the child is still being affected. The featured situation only works were those people talking can in some way intervene.
What is not considered here is that the children even by the time they are adults don’t understand their own alienation.
This doesn’t take into account fathers who don’t want to see their children hurt in this way or don’t want to participate in allowing that to happen.
What also isn’t recognised here is second generation or grandchildren alienation.
Even when fathers do get custody and a mother doesn’t have access in some difficult cases it only takes a Facebook conversation to destroy years of good parenting.
Essentially what we are seeing here is not a conversation about alienation it is a conversation about repairing the damage done by court intervention after a mother’s unfounded allegation being hailed as a professional solution to parental alienation.
It would be understandable if many fathers saw this as a Tuis Add for parental alienation.
Comment by Busby — Wed 16th April 2025 @ 2:32 pm
An ongoing destruction of family network that in many circumstances is designed to automatically include unborn victims into this tangle web of deceit.
Fraudulent behaviour from cash and property desperate women who market their horrific agenda pretending to be a casualty and ongoing sufferer of violence.
The presenter in the video clip advocates the supervisors rather than a judge should be the authority who decides when normal contact commences. The best you will get here is likely to be “take into consideration.”
The core issue is the legislator does not specifically identify parental alienation as violent. I am doubtful that will ever change while the obsolete ministry for women exists. Obsolete due to the statistic fact women are higher educated in vastly greater numbers than men. Indisputably in absolute dominance in education, medical and government employees.
What needs to happen is someone in government must legislate change of care against those who wish the destruction of child/parent relationships.
Comment by Lukenz — Thu 17th April 2025 @ 4:59 am
https://www.auckland.ac.nz/en/news/2025/01/15/uk-s-challenge-to-parental-alienation–a-lesson-for-nz-courts.html
Parental Alienation has become a topic of discussion at Auckland University:
Quote
According to the theory behind parental alienation, children who reject a relationship with, or express fear of, one parent have likely been brainwashed by their other parent into doing so.
This alienation is allegedly perpetrated almost entirely by women (more than 90 percent of parents accused of alienating their children are mothers), and its male “victims” are disproportionately white and almost entirely higher socioeconomic status.
The council’s recommendations aim to reshape how courts address these fraught cases, offering a sharp contrast to practices in Aotearoa New Zealand.
Comment by Busby — Thu 17th April 2025 @ 10:23 am
In another post, alienation is 90% for child support payers.
If you get child support, you get more if they see the kids less.
It’s amazing what humans will do, if money is involved.
Then there is a whole industry, that needs allegations or conflict.
If you teach a child they are a victim, will they think they are one.
While we look at men as victims, look at what’s done to children.
Parental separation is no joke, it’s a crime against humanity.
Children banned from seeing parents, predominantly the father.
Was it on the balance of probabilities, or beyond reasonable doubt.
The alienator says things happened, the victim says it’s nonsense.
If that’s all the evidence there is, why so many alienated parents.
There is no punishment for lies, no punishment for a false witness.
Comment by DJ Ward — Fri 18th April 2025 @ 11:41 am
There is the reality of parental alienation and then there is the academic discussion.
The link I posted above from 2025 has a copy and past from this 2023 link also from the Auckland University discussion
I say discussion but it is more like another campaign.
https://www.auckland.ac.nz/en/news/2023/11/15/the-pseudoscience-of–parental-alienation-syndrome–.html
The tactic being used is adequately exposed by this quote.
arental alienation is not officially recognized as a clinical diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). However, it’s understood as a form of child psychological abuse, a phenomenon where one parent actively undermines or manipulates a child to reject the other parent. Clinicians often assess for signs and symptoms of parental alienation, particularly when a child exhibits strong rejection or hostility toward one parent without a reasonable justification.,”
What lawyers don’t like about the parental alienation argument is that the child is subject to a transfer of purpose which essentially means the mother is entitled to do what she likes with her property.
The father is excluded from the property of the child but the mother is entitled to the property of the father which is more likely in higher socioeconomic situations.
I’m not familiar with the current situation but it would appear that radical academics are frustrated that the New Courts have made some progress in the early intervention of cases with child alienation and that is frustrating some feminist organisations who expect arbitrary outcomes for women.
Comment by Busby — Fri 18th April 2025 @ 1:13 pm
That should be …
copy and paste
[“P]arental alienation
New Zealand courts
Comment by Busby — Fri 18th April 2025 @ 1:25 pm
The Universities are the seedbed of most bad ideas, rampant with leftist fools, God help us all if our policy makers are lead by these clowns
Comment by Jim — Sat 19th April 2025 @ 1:05 am
No doubt the Family Court experience is as traumatic for some families as it has ever been.
From past experience we know the level of suppression that occurred 20 years ago.
Rather than that occurring again one would hope that the number of difficult cases are better managed.
This legislation is not something I’m familiar with but could possibly be having a positive affect.
Quote:
Children’s Act 2014
The purpose of this Act is to:
– require the Government to adopt, publish, and review a strategy for improving the well-being of children
– ensure that children’s agencies work together to improve the well-being of particular groups of children
– require child protection policies to be adopted and reported on by prescribed State services and DHBs boards, school boards, and certain people with whom those services or boards enter into contracts or funding arrangements
– reduce the risk of harm to children by requiring people employed or engaged in work that involves regular or overnight contact with children to be safety checked.”
Another thought is the social changes around marriage and the different circumstances – we’ll probably never know.
Comment by Busby — Sat 19th April 2025 @ 9:24 am
@7 Agree Jim, we’ve seen some manufacturered garbage from universities to support feminist legislation.
Interesting that the Herald has a family court section.
https://www.nzherald.co.nz/topic/family-court/
Comment by Busby — Sat 19th April 2025 @ 9:32 am
What is acknowledged is that most alienated parents fathers but what is seldom acknowledged is their emotional experience.
Scottish artist and poet Robert Montgomery uses the phrase “The people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this you keep them alive.” to explore the grief of losing close relationships to death.
The clinical definition of alienation being only child abuse ignores the living grief of losing the child that fathers experience and for some the living ghosts that are left, welcome or haunting, which ever the memories are.
While this may be a silenced discussion in New Zealand it is the basis of criminal prosecutions in other jurisdictions.
While criminal prosecution in New Zealand for parental alienation is a distant likelihood that has social implications that undermine a stable society.
Comment by Busby — Mon 21st April 2025 @ 7:53 am
https://ourarchive.otago.ac.nz/view/pdfCoverPage?instCode=64OTAGO_INST&filePid=13397256060001891&download=true
This link is to a 2018 (Otago University) thesis on parental alienation.
Quote from the introduction:
“There is a large body of international research available in relation to alienation, but the researchers disagree on some aspects associated with alienation, and, in particular, about the specific means of identifying alienation (or a so-called “diagnosis”). However, the currently available research is extensive and reliable enough to be utilised by professionals and the court to address parental alienation and to deal the alienation where it is present. There is, to date, little research on how parental alienation is identified or dealt with in New Zealand.”
Comment by Busby — Mon 21st April 2025 @ 8:20 am
The Lee James thesis did receive exposure in New Zealand media following its publication.
This quote from the ‘Backbone Collective’ publication is essentially encouragement to mothers to continue alienating behavior.
“A Masters Law thesis published this week by the University of Otago Law School is based on discredited theory ‘Parental Alienation Syndrome’ (PAS) and ignores recommendations from psychological experts for its use in Family Law to be stopped.
Backbone explores how using PAS as evidence in the Family Court endangers women and children, with true accounts from members of The Backbone Collective.
In this opinion piece, we also examine media coverage of the thesis’ release and PAS, which failed to present a balanced story on PAS, therefore reinforcing this debunked theory’s credibility.”
Link to the Backbone article.
https://www.backbone.org.nz/blog/parentalalienationfamilycourt
Comment by Busby — Mon 21st April 2025 @ 10:15 am
How reliable is, The Backbone?
From their website:
“ABOUT THE BACKBONE COLLECTIVE
New Zealand has the highest rate of women experiencing violence and abuse in the developed world, which is due in part to our broken response system.
The Backbone Collective is an independent body taking action to change New Zealand’s dire statistics by examining the response system through the eyes of its users – women who have experienced violence and abuse.
Please join us as either a woman who has experienced violence or abuse, or as a volunteer who wants to help by volunteering your time, services or expertise.
Many reports have been written about where the system is broken but they have fallen on deaf ears. We think that Government and others in a position of power will start listening when hundreds, and potentially thousands, of women speak up about what needs to change.”
What does the net say?
The Progress of the World’s Women 2011-2012: In Pursuit of Justice report, published by the United Nations, indicated that New Zealand had the highest rate of reported intimate partner violence in the developed world. Additionally, the WHO multi-country study on women’s health and domestic violence against women in selected Pacific nations also confirmed this. The New Zealand Family Violence Clearinghouse also references this information.
and …
New Zealand has the highest rates of family violence in the OECD. 1 in 3 women will experience abuse in their lifetime in Aotearoa. Nearly half of all homicides and reported violent crimes are are related to family violence.6 Oct 2023
Interestingly
The Dunedin Multidisciplinary Health and Development Study reported that 34% of men and 27% of women have experienced physical abuse by their partner.
So, less than one in three women in New Zealand but more than three men.
Comment by Busby — Mon 21st April 2025 @ 11:32 am
Also from, The Backbone …
Even though PAS is not recognised by the American Psychiatric Association or any other medical or professional association, New Zealand Family Law continues to apply it in court proceedings.
However
Variations in Outcomes:
The outcomes of cases involving parental alienation can vary, and the court may impose different measures to address the situation, according to a University of Otago study.
In essence, the New Zealand Family Court acknowledges and considers the concept of parental alienation as a behavioral pattern, but it does not rely on the discredited PAS theory. The focus remains on the child’s best interests and finding solutions that support the child’s well-being and relationships with both parents.
It would appear that the original conflict between parents has now engulfed the academic and legal disciplines.
That will probably never go away but at least but at least men appear to getting the right to a fair hearing in a more realistic way.
Comment by Busby — Mon 21st April 2025 @ 12:05 pm
Thanks for the DV statistics, 34% vs 27% confirms other studies.
As for the backbone collective, women organise better than men.
It’s a walking talking human rights offence, only representing women.
They demand all women are victims, they must be believed.
It’s always the helpless woman and child, vs the evil father.
There is no evil violent women, and no good men to get custody.
That 1 in 3 figure is interesting, for the female victim rate.
Because the research says it’s true, the male offender rate matches.
A 22% offender rate, with multiple partners gets to 33%.
Females are about 50% more violent, so about a 50% male victim rate.
Imagine the Backbone outrage, if women were treated like men.
There is no government funded services, for 100% of male victims.
Nobody believes men telling the truth, let alone advocating for liars.
To say Parental Alienation is not happening, is a complete nonsense.
Comment by DJ Ward — Tue 22nd April 2025 @ 8:38 am
@14 A lapse in editing from my phone …
Should be:
That will probably never go away but at least men appear to be getting the right to a fair hearing in a more realistic way.
Reflecting on the past 30 years reminds me of this:
“First they ignore you,
then they laugh at you,
then they fight you,
then you win.”
Perhaps not “win” in this case but be treated like human beings.
Comment by Busby — Tue 22nd April 2025 @ 3:55 pm
This poem’s most common version, attributed to a German pastor, Martin Niemöller is still relevant today.
“First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Socialist. Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Trade Unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.”
This poem serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of speaking out against injustice, even when it doesn’t directly affect us, as our silence can contribute to the spread of oppression.
Comment by Busby — Wed 23rd April 2025 @ 12:19 pm
Being intricately involved in a child alienation situation is quite different to looking in from the outside trying to understand. No normal person would do this to a child.
Looking at this quote:
“Understanding the Impact:
Parental alienation can have severe and lasting negative consequences for children, potentially leading to mental health issues, relationship problems, and long-term emotional distress, says Psychology Today.
Children may struggle with guilt, self-esteem issues, and even internalize the hatred directed towards the alienated parent.
Research suggests that children can transform quickly between alienated and non-alienated states, emphasizing the need for consistent and appropriate intervention.”
One of the issues we have here is with abused children ending up in the hands of school counsellors because teachers do identify an issue.
One can’t have the expectation that school counsellors could understand what’s going on when we have this whole unresolved debate.
I would suspect that in many cases they aggravate the existing situation rather than help the child.
Comment by Busby — Wed 23rd April 2025 @ 3:39 pm
Part of alienation is indoctrination, the child made to believe things.
So with a counsellor maybe the child says something, an accusation.
Dad did this and dad did that, so that’s why i misbehaved.
The counsellor does the right thing, and assumes it’s true and acts.
The school already knows dad’s bad, protection orders are normal.
The alienator wins, others act to destroy the victim.
Comment by DJ Ward — Mon 5th May 2025 @ 6:24 pm