The Feminist Effect On Culture Jokes
I would like to blame the Aussies for starting it, but history tells a different story – yes, this goes way back.
Even, back past the Condom War. You haven’t heard of the Condom War?
Well, the English stood on their little Island and yelled across the Channel, ‘Frenchies’ and the French yelled back, ‘English overcoats’, and that’s how it started.
Of course, we’re all too familiar with the Aussie jokes about Kiwis being sheep shaggers:
There’re no women in Waiouri so the soldiers chase the Waioru Blondes around the paddock, and why we wear gumboots; they can’t run away with their back legs in your gumboots.
You know those jokes, we’ve all heard them.
That all started when there were few women around and more sheep than men. But then there was more women, than men and sheep put together, and the Red Fems wanted to change our culture. They’re called our new culture, Rape Culture.
[Those Red Fems were really out to give us blokes a hard time – checked the register of pecuniary assets and surprise, surprise – those Red Fems all had shares in the same strap-on factory; bet ya didn’t know that?]
But now the Aussies have started on with the Rape Culture jokes. ‘How do Kiwi men hold their women – down so they can’t run away’.
Yeah, well the Aussies don’t tie their kangaroos down anymore – they tie their women up instead.
We can give as good as we get.
Truth is, this rape culture stuff actually came out of the death of a political party – you could tell the Labour party was dead when it started pushing up daisies pansies.
Then there was a gallant last ditch effort by MP Trevor Mallard, to breathe life into that dead parrot with the resurrection of the moa (I know, we were all a little moa-tified at the time). But Trevor has this lifelong dream to create the first Ministry of Culture Jokes.
He had visions of Aussies cracking jokes like; ‘how do Kiwis hold their mowers – by the tail feathers’.
And why did the Irishman end up in hospital; ‘he tried to shag a running moa mower.
Ah, it didn’t last, all this Rape Culture stuff … and they’ve since run out of resurrected moa to chase … and the Red Fems can’t find anyone else to apologise for being a man … and the whole silly game hasn’t been without its casualties …
“Excuse me. EXCUSE me. Why are you nailing Mallard to that perch?”
“He likes to be nailed to his perch when he’s sleeping.”
“He’s not asleep, he’s a dead duck.”
“Oh no, no, he’s really just asleep.”
“That Mallard has shuffled of his moa-tle coil.”
“Oh no, I assure you, he’s just asleep.”
“That duck is … [hmmm, what rhymes with duck?].”
And so it was the beginning of the end for the Red Fems really, when they realised that they had killed off their credibility along with their political party … and that the voters really didn’t want Rape Culture … they liked the one they already had.
How did Cunliffe apologise for being a man?
Ask their men’s affairs spokesperson.
You have to have balls to be a man!
Comment by The man in Absentia — Mon 28th July 2014 @ 7:39 pm
How can you tell that Cunliffe only has one testical
He leans to the left
Comment by The man in Absentia — Mon 28th July 2014 @ 8:16 pm
Why are all Labours posters blood red
They are having a bad period
Comment by The man in Absentia — Mon 28th July 2014 @ 8:17 pm
How do you tell a party that they are being kicked out of parliament.
They start having bad Labour pains.
Comment by The man in Absentia — Mon 28th July 2014 @ 8:21 pm
Why did labour decide to have equal numbers of male and female MPs.
They ran out of real men.
Or they ran out?
Comment by The man in Absentia — Mon 28th July 2014 @ 8:27 pm
Why do labour MPs look forward to elections
Because they cant have erections
Comment by The man in Absentia — Mon 28th July 2014 @ 8:28 pm
_________________________________________
Why is the Labour Party only receiving 25% of the vote in polls?
Because only 1 in 4 people hate men and boys.
_________________________________________
What do you call the Labour Party leader dressed up in drag?
Ms Andry.
_________________________________________
Comment by soMENi — Mon 28th July 2014 @ 8:59 pm
What is the average cost of a Labour MP
After the election, nothing
Comment by The man in Absentia — Mon 28th July 2014 @ 9:02 pm
What do men and the Labour party have in common.
They both buy AA batteries to have fun with their toys.
Comment by The man in Absentia — Mon 28th July 2014 @ 9:12 pm
What Relationship do Unions and Labour have
A civil one
Comment by The man in Absentia — Mon 28th July 2014 @ 9:20 pm
Why does Jacinda Adern love women on the DPB
She has never felt hard Labour
Comment by The man in Absentia — Mon 28th July 2014 @ 9:30 pm
What is a rape culture
One involving Lawyers behaving like Vultures
Comment by The man in Absentia — Mon 28th July 2014 @ 9:56 pm
Why did Cunliffe apologise for being a man.
He forgot how to behave like one.
Comment by The man in Absentia — Mon 28th July 2014 @ 10:02 pm
Knock Knock
Whos there
Labour
Who?
Comment by The man in Absentia — Mon 28th July 2014 @ 10:18 pm
How can you tell no Green MPs own mirrors.
They campaign on getting rid of cows.
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 29th July 2014 @ 5:55 pm
How many criminals does it take to change a light bulb
120
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 29th July 2014 @ 6:47 pm
Why are oral questions so much fun
You get to give the opposition a good tongue lashing
Until the speaker says stop! Stop!
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 29th July 2014 @ 7:11 pm
How do you know National will win the election
Labours coming from behind
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 29th July 2014 @ 7:14 pm
Why are MPs called members
They have to fit in the slot given to them by the speaker
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 29th July 2014 @ 7:34 pm
Why do politicians say
Put your money where your mouth is
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 29th July 2014 @ 7:36 pm
Why do the Greens love natural landscapes
But hate men’s calendars
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 29th July 2014 @ 7:49 pm
Why do the Greens love sustainability
They love riding old bikes
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 29th July 2014 @ 7:52 pm
Why do politicians talk about lolly scrambles, and giggle.
They behave like children
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 29th July 2014 @ 8:08 pm
Why do politicians say
Put your money where your mouth is
Then pass this bill
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 29th July 2014 @ 8:11 pm
What do politicians and condoms have in common
They both stop unwanted leeks
Well most of the time
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 29th July 2014 @ 8:31 pm
What do politicians and prostitutes have in common
Time limits
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 29th July 2014 @ 8:37 pm
Why is Hone never at parliament
He thinks it got confiscated
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 29th July 2014 @ 8:46 pm
Why does John need so many helpers
He has early onset alzheimers
He keeps losing his Keys
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 29th July 2014 @ 8:49 pm
How do you know the aliens have arrived
Winston’s talking immigration
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 29th July 2014 @ 8:53 pm
How do you know your Conservative
You can believe God helped a man calve the Ten Commandments
But watch a video of the moon landing and cant believe it
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 29th July 2014 @ 8:58 pm
Why are cucumbers wrapped in plastic
Recycling
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 29th July 2014 @ 9:01 pm
What type of condoms do politicians like
Ones were they can give each other a good ribbing
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 29th July 2014 @ 9:15 pm
How can you tell if one member enjoys the other
When he’s finished the other stands up to give him the clap
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 29th July 2014 @ 9:20 pm
How do you tell that politicians a stupid
You have to read things to them 3 times
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 29th July 2014 @ 9:28 pm
Sounds like Kim Dotcom got himself in hot water with Laila when he tweeted this culture joke:
It’s a re-make of an old joke about a doctor checking to see if his patient has any holes in her marble bag.
Dr: And what’s your middle name madam.
Woman: (name) And now I am going to have to kill you.
I guess you can’t tell jokes like that anymore when you want the sex worker’s collective to endorse your party.
Comment by Downunder — Thu 31st July 2014 @ 11:54 am
Long ago I set out to prove that God does not exist, it took me a few years, I was severely punished for it.
I did a deal, that if I stopped trying to answer it, my suffering would stop, look at young fathers. Suffering and Purgatory followed my deal, because I denied it, but I have now found peace. Only now do I understand.
I have discovered that my answer to what god is, is the same as that of Jesus. Which is not what the bible tells you, even though Jesus never lied to you, yet I have not read it, but in parts.
Who is a man that wants only for the flow of money, has been sent by his master the empire, to a small third class province, who’s wife tries to guide his morals, who collects taxes for his desires to build, and at heart is a good man, but will act on the vote, polls of others.
Pontius Pilate or is it John Key
Who is Herod Antipas, the slightly chubby playboy?
Comment by The man in Absentia — Wed 6th August 2014 @ 6:21 pm
Gog’s just set out to prove that The man in Absentia doesn’t exist ….
Comment by OMG! You're *(%*%(^ — Wed 6th August 2014 @ 8:46 pm
*God* (what a Freudian slip, if I ever made one).
Comment by OMG! You're *(%*%(^ — Wed 6th August 2014 @ 8:47 pm
Oh, if only the man in absentia really was………………
Comment by ornerybloke — Thu 7th August 2014 @ 12:52 am
So some people do actually read Menz.
Source NZ Herald – unbelievable.
Comment by Downunder — Wed 20th August 2014 @ 4:59 pm