Should I get married?
I am young enough to be a father but too old to rebuild all my life after divorce again. I still want to be an involved father more than anything in the world. Until just recently I thought this meant I needed to get married again. However the dates I have had recently have caused me to question this assumption. Do I need a wife? Perhaps good reader you would like to offer your view on this topic.
Under NZ law a 3 year defaco relationship is the same as marriage. So for a male any long term relationship carries all the same risks as marriage. For simplicity I will talk about “marriage” or “being married”. However in fact I mean “have a relationship for longer than 3 years”. In other words it is not relevant if there is a marriage ceremony or not. That is not the issue. It is just rather long winded to say should I stay with a woman for more than 3 years?
Dear reader keep in mind that my parents were childhood sweathearts who married until “death do us part”. Which to them meant exactly that. Hence this is my view of marriage also. I have never had any problem getting dates. I was married. Staying married requires both peple to work on the relationship which requires certain qualities. Finding a woman who is and will always stay comitted to marriage I have found to be so far impossible.
I am still open to that. If happen to bump into the love of my life then great. I certainly take great pleasure in loving and being loved by someone special.
However now I am questioning why would I hunt for it and sign up to marriage?
It is nice and would be best for any child but the risks and costs are extrodinary. Any child has a high risk of being denied one parent anyway. It seems to me that the laws and women themselves have priced themselves out of the market. I don’t want to reach retirement in poverty it is true. But more than that I can’t afford to have another child shut out of my life. However there is a greater than 50% chance of exactly both of those things happening.
Do I risk having a shortened life of poverty for a 50% chance of having a child and a wife?
Or do I find another way to have a child (who may well have no mother) ?
Please don’t tell me to change the system. In case you haven’t noticed the system has not changed and I will not live for ever. I have to make a decision based on the society and the system I live in now.
Just avoid marriage to a feminist and getting married in any feminist country.
Comment by Skeptik — Thu 4th February 2010 @ 1:58 am
……. Hate to say it, ….But I do concur with Skeptik opinion….
Kind regards John Dutchie
Comment by John Dutchie — Thu 4th February 2010 @ 7:02 am
Look no further than India where you can send your sperm and collect your motherless child in nine months time.
Now for a price, virtually anyone, single, married, gay, straight can have children, tailor-made. And what’s more, you can do most of it from the comfort of your own home.
Comment by SicKofNZ — Thu 4th February 2010 @ 9:37 am
Hello Dave,
Great question to ask on this forum… the best advice I can forward you comes from the some what even perspective from none other than Paul Elam himself…(excerpt from http://masculinisme.blog-city.com/paul_elam.htm)
And the math on marriage isn’t near as disturbing as the numbers you will be faced with when it‘s over. The equation goes roughly something like this.
1 angry wife + 1 lawyer + 1 family court = 1 impoverished man living in a studio apartment and driving a 1981 Buick Skylark.
Numbers are sometimes ugly, but they don’t lie.
But wait, you say, I can change that equation with a pre-nup!
Yes, you can. Here are the factor weighed results.
1 angry wife + 1 lawyer + 1 family court + 1 prenuptial agreement = 1 impoverished man living in a studio apartment and driving a 1982 Buick Skylark.
Pre-nups take more time to draw up than the courts take tossing them aside.
The fact of the matter is that in modern culture men are better off downing ten shots of tequila and stumbling blindfolded through a mine field. The odds are better.
Think about it for a moment. Marriage is quite literally an investment of not only your heart, but all of your work, income and future income, especially when children are involved. Now, if an investment broker told you he had a deal in which you could invest, with mostly intangible returns, and there was more than a 50% chance that you would be wiped out and spend most of the rest of your life paying the margin call or going to jail, how much would you invest?
Well?
Oh, come on now, you might be saying. It’s not fair to reduce the institution of marriage into a financial equation. Well, yes it is. Believe me, if the woman you marry doesn’t heavily consider your income prior to saying yes, she is the infinitesimal exception. And for those of you who still think it is natural and right for a man to be the breadwinner and the head of the family, please know that would be the same head that gets lobbed off in the family court where more than half of you will end up.
And even if you don’t think, for who knows what reasons, that marriage is about money, you better believe that divorce is. Reducing holy matrimony to assets and liabilities is precisely what family courts are designed to do. And they do it with brutal efficiency. If you walk in to one of those places as a man in western culture, you will find that out in the most sobering ways imaginable.
Your experience there will leave you with a mental block. You won’t even be able to say the words “family court” again, for they will find you, shivering in the corner, mumbling incoherently about “that place.”
A lot of married men already know this. Those are the guys in the other half of the marriage statistics. You know, the group that is “successful?” Plenty of them have consulted lawyers because they wanted to escape insufferably nasty, horrifically high maintenance wives, but the more legal realities they heard, the more those banshees they were married to began to resemble June Cleaver. As soon as they coined the phrase “Take him to the cleaners,” the follow up, “cheaper to keep her,” wasn’t far behind.
Just don’t do it.
Living with a woman may be a better option, but you need to be careful with that one, too. Depending on the laws where you live, you could end up married without knowing it. So gather your facts.
Yes guys, that means go see a lawyer, one that understands men’s legal issues, before you even shack up. Do it the moment she asks if she can leave some clothes in your closet. Better yet, do it now, while you don’t have a girlfriend and can still think from the neck up. Consider the legal consult the investment of a lifetime, because it is.
And having children? Sure. Just be prepared to have every connection to those children severed when it’s over, except, of course, for the financial connection. That will be maintained at gunpoint.
So choose that Skylark carefully. You’ll be driving it for a long time.
I know that some of you are thinking, “Oh, that will never happen to me.” All I can say is that more than half of you are deluding yourselves, and the rest of you have no reliable way to know just how lucky you will be. For those who maintain that adolescent sense of invulnerability, such admonitions will fall on deaf ears. Never underestimate the power of denial.
I also know that some of you, especially some women that are reading this, are saying “Hey, wait! Not all women are like that! They are not all the same!” And you are right. But all family courts are the same. Screwed in L.A. Shafted in New York. Swindled in London. They are all the same.
Just don’t do it.
But, in the rare case you are not going to listen to me and make your own decisions, and you insist on taking that plunge, I have some suggestions on finding a suitable bride that might help with damage control down the road.
First, never finance a relationship. Only date women that pay their own way from the start. Admittedly that reduces your chances of dating, much less marriage, but there is a sound reason for it.
It leaves you with a better, if less common, class of woman. For if a woman feels that she is entitled to ride your wallet though life when she is infatuated with you, when you can do no wrong and are the most amazing man she ever met, just imagine how she will feel about your wallet when she hates the very sight of you and the sound of your voice makes her want to claw her own eyes out.
Watch her behavior and learn from it. How does she act when you disappoint her? What is her reaction to hearing the word “no,” or when you choose your way instead of her way?
If she takes it in stride and moves on, then you might have a keeper, inflection on the word might.
However, if she responds to the fact that you went golfing when she didn’t want you to by cutting you off in the bedroom for a few days, or by telling you how selfish and immature you are for having any interests that don’t revolve around her, what do you imagine she will do when she fully believes that you are the anti-Christ and are responsible for every ill in her miserable life?
And that, gentlemen, is precisely the woman you will face in a divorce. She won’t be rational or reasonable or even principled. She will be, quite literally, your mortal enemy. And she will have the full force of the state on her side.
Make that a 1971 Pinto.
And so there you have it, guys. A brief primer on the potential house of horrors we call marriage. All you need to do to have a fighting chance, though, is find a woman who makes her own money and considers it natural to pay her own way; a woman who understands that no one is the center of the universe and that meeting in the middle is the only sane path to a partnership.
In other words, just don’t do it.
Paul Elam is the editor of A Voice for Men
Comment by onewomanDV — Thu 4th February 2010 @ 9:45 am
Reply to OnewomanDV
………Thank you so much..Believe or not I still have a good sense of humor still left inside of me…I Laughed so hard, my sides are hurting……But sorry to say it,but Paul Elam little essay is very correct…..
Funny but sad if you think about ‘OnewomanDV’ at my Gym where I have been a member for over 5 years now, the amount of young European/Maori Men I see now training with there Lady partners/Wives ….and guess what ethnicity these young ladies are ….Asian….Indian…Eastern European
Kind regards to you OnewomanDV John Dutchie
Comment by John Dutchie — Thu 4th February 2010 @ 11:18 am
“Just avoid marriage to a feminist and getting married in any feminist country.”
Of course this actually means don’t live in a feminist country.
“Feminist country” means every Western country as far as I can tell. So if I am going to have a wife I need to move to her developing country.
Well it’s not out the question. I have lived in such a country for many years before. However what is the pay back for this sacrifice?
Comment by Dave — Thu 4th February 2010 @ 4:06 pm
The payback is having a massive weight lifted off your shoulders!
Not having to walk on eggshells when with your wife/partner for fear she’ll turn sour and crush you with the aid of the behemoth western DV/Family court man-grinder machine.
I’ve lived in other countries (eastern Europe, Asia) where, although I didn’t always have a female lover (hate the lame word girl-friend) the sense of freedom from feminist hegemony had me in tears of relief.
Comment by Skeptik — Thu 4th February 2010 @ 4:30 pm
“Look no further than India where you can send your sperm and collect your motherless child in nine months time.”
Well there is an option. It is certainly much cheaper and more reliable.
It does go against my beliefs. That is – I believe a child needs a mother and a father. However as I said chances are less than 50% that the child would have this outcome anyway. So that mitigates my personal conflict to an extent.
What about from the child’s point of view?
“Well sorry Johnny. You were most likely going to end up with only one parent anyway so I just went ahead and made that decision up front.”
Hmmmmm. You know I thought I’d write that out because it might deeply concern me. However I find that it is actually not so unreasonable. Obviously far from ideal but not so unreasonable given the realities of life.
“It’s a real shame you don’t have a mummy Johnny. Most of your friends don’t have a daddy in their lives. Sometimes life is hard and sometimes it is great. You just have to make the most of the situation you have.”
I.e. the “shit happens” talk.
Anyone want to shoot down this suggestion?
Comment by Dave — Thu 4th February 2010 @ 4:33 pm
Yeah sure I get that but this assumes I need a wife/partner. My future child needs a mummy and daddy but what benefit do I get? Obviously love is just great but “all you need is love”?
I have cooked and cleaned and run a household for many many years. So don’t need that.
I have always earned decent money and am well educated.
I am very fit, active and sociable. Even if I wasn’t I would amuse myself with some hobby. I have plenty of self confidence to do and go anywhere I want on my own.
I always did easily half the child rearing so I don’t rely on a female for that. (Except the mother influence part).
I have no problem getting dates and even if I did, one can buy sex in any city if it is that important to you.
Just what does a wife bring to the relationship for a guy like me?
Love yes.
But of course I am bringing that as well.
In my view a marriage is more than just love. After all a lot of the time it is boring and mundane.
So just what does she contribute?
You see the feminist society has produced men like me. Men who grew up with equality as a fact of life. Men who have spent all their lives pulling their weight around the house and work and raising children and then some. Plus us men have always been told how inadequate and privileged we are while at the same time as doing as much or more than women.
The end result is that men like me don’t have any special need for wives except to produce children.
Along comes modern medicine and viola! Now I can get my very own baby from India, Ukraine or USA for a fraction of the cost of being married. No living under threat of loosing custody either.
So what is left?
Just what do women have to offer the modern man?
Frankly the feminist indoctrinated women have been so busy telling everyone how disadvantaged they are they haven’t noticed that have become obsolete. The modern man has taken up all the other duties and roles while at the same time maintaining their own careers and responsibilities.
Now I know I have a lot to offer a woman that I love. I get a warm fuzzy feeling by giving to her. Just recently though I am wondering what do I need from her really?
At the same time the vast majority of western women haven’t caught up with the programme. They are still thinking that men will chase them for their looks (i.e. for sex). But if you marry her, sex will be the first thing to reduce so that is no reason to marry. Plus I am looking for a union – not just sex so that isn’t nearly enough.
So just what does she have to offer?
Comment by Dave — Thu 4th February 2010 @ 6:07 pm
Reply to Dave
Dave a very well written article you have wrote…I was brought up in a very similar upbringing like yourself …I can Cook,and blowing my own trumpet here… I pretty good cook too,I can Clean,do the laundry,I can even do basic sewing..
I was a very capable Solo Father for 3 years until I had false inappropriate sexual allegations thrown at me concerning my Children…That’s when ‘The ‘S@#t hit the fan’ ….
But fortunately and a huge warm thanks to my Dutch Police lady officer friends of mine, who came straight to my aid from The Netherlands ,much to the disgust of the N.Z Police force especially the N.Z Police Woman who charged me,for they got totally slaughtered by my Dutch Police Lady police friends and the outcome was brilliant one for me, and my Son and my Daughter…Yes, I was a very lucky Man and my gratitude to my Dutch Police officer Lady Friends will never ever be forgotten…bless them…
But that awful Soul destroying experienced to my Family and myself has taken a toll on me, and also to as in what happen to my Ex Brother in Law who lives in Australia now and is happily married to awesome and a wonderful Australia Lady,he also was falsely accused of inappropriate behavior towards his two daughters
….Over my Dead Body,will I never ever trust or get involved with a Kiwi Woman ever again…My humble advice to you Dave….
Look elsewhere as in other Country where Extreme Feminism hasn’t occurred ,where Manhood and Fatherhood hasn’t been ‘Demonized to hell’…
Best wishes to you Dave ..kind regards to you from John Dutchie
Comment by John Dutchie — Fri 5th February 2010 @ 9:09 am
‘Anyone want to shoot down this suggestion?’
….No I can’t Dave….If it so called socially acceptable now, here in ‘Feminized’ New Zealand that Kiwi Woman can have Children without what’s so ever the Biological Father involved in the upbringing of the Child/Children,or even using the Justice system to ban him from ever seeing his offspring
…..And the N.Z Feminized Justice and the N.Z Feminized Family Courts supports this mandate …
I don’t see a problem at all as in a Man beginning up a Child/Children on his own,with out a Mother ever been involved…
However watch out for the Kiwi Socail Engineering Butch Feminazi Feminists shoot me down in flames for even dare saying this statement….!!!!
Kind regards John Dutchie
Comment by John Dutchie — Fri 5th February 2010 @ 9:41 am
I am sure Dave that on this thread you will be hard pressed to find anyone that will bother to shoot down your suggestion.
I can liken it to the aspect of how women go to sperm banks and have a child and say things along the same lines as mentioned above. For some reason, at first glance the woman going to the sperm bank is easier to swallow from a common social perspective. It probably would be interesting if such a thing as a womb bank… where men could go and watch their children in some lab growing for 9 months… that would definitely make it more of an even playing field and you can avoid the whole India situation… not knowing what kind of woman(health wise) is having your child seems kinda off…
Comment by onewomanDV — Fri 5th February 2010 @ 10:26 am
I’ve found an article from CNN that might provide an alternative to those who don’t wish to take the associated risks of getting married or of living in a marriage-type relationship with a woman.
Purchase Roxxxy for $7,000usd
I’m biting my tongue over the fact that she doesn’t cook nor clean :p
Comment by SicKofNZ — Fri 5th February 2010 @ 10:46 am
Reply to SicKofNZ
…..L.O.L….However, I think the real future will be in real life ‘Holograms’ like in the Star Trek next generations, and Star trek Voyager t.v series…
Kind regards John Dutchie
Comment by John Dutchie — Fri 5th February 2010 @ 11:11 am
=)
Seriously I do appreciate the humor here… once you want it to begin there really is no stopping it… these are the many features of HEARTBREAK WARFARE.
The options are endless as technology evolves…
Comment by onewomanDV — Fri 5th February 2010 @ 12:51 pm
Reply to OnewomanDV
….Good glad someone can appreciate Humor…Even if there is a note damn Sarcasm …And Yes I
Comment by John Dutchie — Fri 5th February 2010 @ 1:24 pm
Reply to OnewomanDV…Bugger hit the key yet again….!!!
….Good, glad someone can appreciate ‘Humor’………Even if there is a note of damn ‘Sarcasm’ on my part …And ‘Yes’ I plead guilty your honor….Yes, lets ban and make it against the law as in having a sense of humor and having a laugh here in N.Z anymore, due to all this ‘Political Correctness’ crap …Yikes…..!!!There I go again…Sarcasm…
Kind regards John Dutchie
Comment by John Dutchie — Fri 5th February 2010 @ 1:29 pm
….Hmmmmmmmmmmm…..I can see one big advantage as in having a Computer generated Hologram Wife….And that is, once you realized your Hologram Wife has turn into a banshee screaming Kiwi Socail Engineering Feminist …All what ‘You’ have to say is the following sentence ….’Computer delete program’….Gee, I am having real pleasant thoughts on this one…..Whoops…Am I been sarcastic again….Correct….!!!
John Dutchie
Comment by John Dutchie — Fri 5th February 2010 @ 2:40 pm
I suppose it was only a matter of time before some guys got the idea to find a way to having kids without a partner as has been recently glamourized by female celebrities and legions of solo moms who’ve kicked thier kid’s fathers to the curb.
I can see the logic behind men going it alone too in misandric feminist infected westernized societies.
But I’m saddened that it’s come to this point of further atomizing of society.
I definitely benefitted from being raised in an infact biological family where I had a relationship with both my mom and dad whereas today I see a lot of kids in western cultures raised by solo moms running feral as thier underparented.
I fear if men hop on the same ‘I can do it (parent alone) so I will’ boat as women, then we’ll just have an even bigger juvenile delinquency/crime problem.
Comment by Skeptik — Fri 5th February 2010 @ 3:51 pm
Reply to Skeptik
Your statement below good sir…is spot on,and I totally concur with you …And this is just my humble opinion here …..
If this ‘Social Engineering Agenda’ continues as in the slow destruction of the core values of the ‘Family unit’ then we all can eventually say good by to a ‘Decent society’
For what holds a decent society together.????..The ‘Family Unit’…..
Kind regards John Dutchie
‘I fear if men hop on the same ‘I can do it (parent alone) so I will’ boat as women, then we’ll just have an even bigger juvenile delinquency/crime problem.’
Comment by John Dutchie — Sat 6th February 2010 @ 12:34 pm
As much as I love our children…it’s a no brainer.
A suitable replacement NZ flag would be a hyena on a pink background.
Comment by Peter — Sat 6th February 2010 @ 5:34 pm
Everyone must see…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3Vux-_9yRY
Comment by onewomanDV — Sun 7th February 2010 @ 10:43 am
“I fear if men hop on the same ‘I can do it (parent alone) so I will’ boat as women, then we’ll just have an even bigger juvenile delinquency/crime problem.”
I don’t think this follows. Mother absence hasn’t been shown to be a significant factor in juvenile delinquency/crime. Only father absence has been shown to be significant.
Keep in mind that in today’s society a child is a meal ticket for a solo mother. Whereas a solo father has to either be a widower or be an exceptional person. To become a solo father by suggorgacy will cost an inital $40,000 min and often several times that. Hence such a father is not the sort of person that is unmotivated or uninterested in their child’s good development.
Having said that, this is not to say that mother absence has no consequences for the child. I am not for one minute suggesting it is ideal for a child. I am just saying we don’t know what the likely consequences are. I am not expecting it will be a very positive development for society except perhaps in the long term to force a rethink of the feminist world we have created.
Comment by Dave — Mon 8th February 2010 @ 2:44 pm
While I am on the subject of “…if men hop on the same ‘I can do it (parent alone) so I will’ boat as women…”:
We already have a whole generation that is, quite frankly broken. I firmly believe we are living in a kind of dark age. Just like people living under Communism in the USSR. I fully expect it to take another 40 years for that to turn around. People will look back and wonder how we could have been so stupid to follow feminism and allow it to get so far out of hand. The barabric way the courts treat children’s realtionship with their fathers will be cause for wonder in the future.
Fathers are not parenting alone simply because they can. They do it because that is the safest and more realistic option. I believe that will take at least another generation to change.
I belive that they way it will change will be because more and more men refuse to marry and more men simply do it all themselves. As more and more women are left out in the cold the women will be the drivers for change.
More and more men will wake up to the fact that marriage is a 50% chance of lossing everything – most of all their children. They will then ask what does this woman have to loose? Answer – well nothing much. Is that arrangement what marriage is about?
Ask yourself men – what is be cost vs benefit of this arrangement for you?
Comment by Dave — Mon 8th February 2010 @ 3:02 pm
Reply to Dave
….’We already have a whole generation that is, quite frankly broken. I firmly believe we are living in a kind of dark age’…I totally concur with you…
But in my humble opinion more in the Western English speaking European Countries,like Canada,America,Australia,E I have been doing some web browsing concerning the Family Courts in Canada..
Canada seems to me,like what is happening in N.Z is becoming a Socail Engineering Feminist paradise ……
Comment by John Dutchie — Mon 8th February 2010 @ 3:10 pm
Bugger… hit the wrong Key again…..
….’We already have a whole generation that is, quite frankly broken. I firmly believe we are living in a kind of dark age’…I totally concur with you…
But in my humble opinion …This radical extreme social engineering Feminism is more happening more in the Western English speaking European Countries…
like Canada,America,Australia,England,Ireland,Scotland and of course New Zealand…. I have been doing some web browsing/Reading concerning the Family Courts in Canada..Holy Shit…Hate to be Father over there in Canada,if the Relationship/Marriage turns to custard ……
Canada seems to me to be a Socail Engineering Feminist paradise and N.Z is heading down the same path as Canada as in a Socail Engineering Feminist paradise ……to many similar parallels are occurring as in what happening in both Countries concerning Extreme Feminism…
Exception to this rule as in English speaking concerning Feminism is Sweden,Feminism is very strong in Sweden…
What I have told by my Dutch Police Officers Lady Friends in The Netherlands…Spain is going though the Feminism cycle, but the Spanish Men are fighting back hard, and starting to unite under this Feminist onslaught especially in Spain’s Family courts…….
As for me…..My days for getting involved or even loving a Kiwi Woman are over…I don’t even Date Kiwi Woman anymore…I just to scared and wary of them….Been to badly Scarred both as in mentally and emotionally
All Kiwi Woman know the System is 100% on there side and they will not even hesitate to use the system to totally destroy you as in a ‘Man’ and worse still,as a ‘Father’…For it seems its in there Demeanor to do so,and it is in there mentally… Its there solemn ‘Right’ to do so…..For Kiwi Woman have the perceived idea that they are always the Victim of any relationship/Marriage bust up…..Sorry,if I sound harsh and blunt …But this is how I feel.and I am not the only Kiwi Man to think like this……
Hence ,if ever thing goes to the game plan in 22.5 months I gone forever from N.Z and returning to live permanently in Thailand,a Country I lived in for Eighteen months,and fell in love with ….And I don’t have to ‘live a Life of Fear’ of having the ‘Finger pointed at me’,because I have committed the worst ‘Sin’ ever possible here in N.Z ….And that is.. being born as a ‘Man’ and again,even worse still… made the terrible mistake of becoming a ‘Father’ here in N.Z…….
Kind regards to you Dave…..John Dutchie
Comment by John Dutchie — Mon 8th February 2010 @ 3:47 pm
One would think that some of you had never heard of pre-nups, living together contracts, surrogate mothers, etc, etc, etc. You are only constained by your own narrow thinking.
Comment by Angela — Thu 11th February 2010 @ 11:20 am
Reply to Angela
…..I have spoken to many a Barristers that I happen to do work for on contract basis and I have brought up this issue of Pre-nups agreements a few times with a number of them.
….Basically there answer was Pre-nups are so easily challenge in the Courts …And guess which gender does the 80% of the challenging of Pre-nups ….Woman….Hmmmmmmmm….It seems Woman are not so ‘narrow minded’ in that area are they Angela…..????
Kind regards John Dutchie
Comment by John Dutchie — Thu 11th February 2010 @ 11:32 am
Pre-nups are worth less than the paper they’re written on. They are a useless waste of money and are overturned faster than it takes the time that it takes to write one up.
Living together allows your partner to claim at least 50% of your property after a short time regardless of any previous agreement or contract. The cost could be enormous if your partner has a propensity for dishonesty.
Surrogate mothers can change their minds at any time, regardless of any contract or agreement.
One would think that you’ve never heard of ‘the lot of men‘ who reside in this Misandrocracy. You are only constrained by your ignorance of matters pertaining to MEN.
Comment by SicKofNZ — Thu 11th February 2010 @ 11:53 am
SickofNz
Living together, or marriage, makes no difference to claiming 50% of property after a relatively short time. Both require three years.
Comment by Shelly — Thu 11th February 2010 @ 4:58 pm
Have either of you had a read of Part 6 of the Relationships (Property) Act? You are both simply wrong. The Act was amended in 2002. I expect the Barristers you spoke to John Dutchie were referring to the Act prior to the amendments or else they aren’t in the habit of giving lengthy free legal advice.
Comment by Angela — Thu 11th February 2010 @ 5:12 pm
Skeptik, in the 40,000 or so years in the history of humankind, how many of those years do you suppose the single family household comprised of mum, dad, and 2.5 kids has existed?
Comment by Angela — Thu 11th February 2010 @ 8:47 pm
Dave, “a child is a meal ticket for a solo mother”? Are you serious?
Comment by Angela — Thu 11th February 2010 @ 8:49 pm
LOL!
Go get properly educated before you start saying such silly statements!
Comment by noconfidence — Thu 11th February 2010 @ 9:41 pm
It was certainly existing around 2000 years ago and there is a book with solid references available to all literate people.
Comment by Keen Skier — Fri 12th February 2010 @ 9:23 am
Reply to Angela..
First off a lot of these Barristers I do work for on a contact basis…. Over the many years we have become very good friends…that also includes a Lady Barrister too…So Yes, I do get some, so called free advice…
One was given to me by few Barristers was ‘Don’t ever let your Son become a Male School Teacher here in N.Z ‘…I am sure you as a Feminist can relate to that one Angela ….Correct,or not Angela….???
And you should know this one,Angela the so called Amendment that you speak off …Is open to ‘Interpretation’ …And that so called ‘Interpretation’ can be successively challenge by any ‘On to it’ Barrister in Court ….!!!!!!!
Kind regards to you,Angela ……John Dutchie
Comment by John Dutchie — Fri 12th February 2010 @ 10:05 am
Yeah I know. I’m trying to convince Angela of that fact. Maybe you might have more luck with that than I’ve had.
Comment by SicKofNZ — Fri 12th February 2010 @ 10:16 am
Societies where BOTH biological parents are EQUALLY valued have existed for all of known history.
Aboriginal art and folklore inform us of that.
As to having 2.5 kids, that’s only been a very recent occurance due to the female birth control pill.
Comment by Skeptik — Fri 12th February 2010 @ 3:43 pm
I think you guys had better Google “history nuclear family” or “history of the family” or words to that effect. The household structure of mum, dad and a couple of kids has really only been happening since the Industrial Revolution. Before that extended family usually shared homes. Before that, in the tribal times of the Anglos and the Saxons … well you can read for yourselves. In other cultures it is still common. In Afica they say it takes a whole village to raise a child. Prior to European contact, child abuse was unheard of in Native American society.
Now for the conspiracy theory: the modern family unit is a divide and conquer tactic of the capitalist machine ensuring 10% of the population control 90% of the wealth.
Comment by Angela — Fri 12th February 2010 @ 8:56 pm
I give up. Does you mum and dad know you’re writing on here ?
Comment by noconfidence — Sat 13th February 2010 @ 12:51 am
noconfidence, I give up too. Do you guys know you sound like the gender equivalent of the Klu Klux Klan? You’re scary. I’m outta here. Best of luck to you.
Comment by Angela — Sat 13th February 2010 @ 11:06 am
Now that’s funny. Everyone knows that the feminists took that title already. Stop preaching what your gender-hating education taught you. Look around, open your eyes and think for yourself woman!
Comment by SicKofNZ — Sat 13th February 2010 @ 12:01 pm
Glad the 12 year old has gone. She was beginning to annoy me!
Comment by noconfidence — Sat 13th February 2010 @ 12:08 pm
Yes I am. I did not say that a child is ONLY a meal ticket. However you simply can not refute the hard fact that a child for a solo mother in NZ has a guaranteed income and support system from the state and the biological father for 19 years. An income that is good enough to live on and provide all that is required for her – often much more than that. That is just with one child.
Comment by Dave — Sat 13th February 2010 @ 4:53 pm
conclusion from Nicola Pert’s report:
“The Property (Relationships) Amendment Act 2001 has changed the conceptual basis of the relationship property regime, but not in a coherent or principled manner. Some of the changes have strengthened the community property concept, in particular the abolition of the distinction between domestic and non-domestic relationship property for purposes of the division of relationship property. The economic disparity provisions, on the other hand, undercut the community property concept by introducing a strong element of discretion, and the death provisions confuse the concept of duty with the concept of entitlement or debt. The opt out nature of the regime has been strengthened, but access to the regime is unclear because of the inherent uncertainty as to the meaning of a de facto relationship.
Whereas the Matrimonial Property Act was a predictable and simple system of deferred participation in a community of assets that operated increasingly as a deferred community property system, the Property (Relationships) Act detracts from that predictability and simplicity. The hope that Angelo and Atkin had for the Matrimonial Property Act, and that was largely realised, has been dashed by the Property (Relationships) Amendment Act. The Act does not steer “an acceptable middle course” between competing demands. It has lost its way.”
Comment by Dave — Sat 13th February 2010 @ 5:04 pm
Angela, I think it is you that is not aware of the surrogacy laws and Child tax laws in NZ. Even if you do read up on them you are probably not aware of how these laws are applied – particularly by the so called Family Court.
Comment by Dave — Sat 13th February 2010 @ 5:11 pm
You obviously don’t know what the DPB rates are currently.
Comment by Angela — Sat 13th February 2010 @ 5:23 pm
“One would think that some of you had never heard of pre-nups, living together contracts, surrogate mothers, etc, etc, etc. You are only constained by your own narrow thinking.”
Angela in fact I have looked into these things in great detail. Most likely many others here have as well. I have also considered the consequences and likely outcomes with an open but rational mind. The conclusion it leads me to is outlined in my original post.
Your point seems to be that if I were to very carefully craft a number of legal contracts I could heavily reduce the risks of having a child with a NZ woman. Even if I did you are incorrect.
Firstly why would I want to contract virtually all the parameters of my relationship with a woman? What sort of a life and relationship is that? OK let’s even put that aside. What would be the benefit to me to be inside such a relationship? I am open to read your answer on that one.
Secondly as I said you are simply wrong. Most NZ women would not enter into such contracts and even if they did such contacts would not be up held. Even if they were the Family Court will still take the child out of the father’s life 87% of cases regardless. Hence you have not address the core issue.
Thirdly by widening my thinking I can see that non-Kiwi women and surrogacy offer vastly superior options. You haven’t addressed this core issue either.
Forthly is there no one that can explain what does a modern Kiwi (western) woman bring to the union of marriage with someone like me? (Other than Love).
Comment by Dave — Sat 13th February 2010 @ 5:30 pm
I think John Lennon said “all we need is love”.
Comment by Angela — Sat 13th February 2010 @ 5:33 pm
They were lyrics to a Beatles song. I don’t know but probably you are correct that John Lennon wrote that song.
Years later, after marraige and divorce, Paul McCartney was asked if it was true that “all you need is love”. He said he didn’t know.
I don’t mean to dismiss love at all. It’s awesome.
However there are many forms of love. Couples fall in love and they fall out of love. A male can’t afford to fall out of love with his wife. The costs to him and his kids are profound and enormous.
Also love in a very long term relatiosnhip evolves. The style of love slowly changes. This is not a bad thing I’m just saying it does change.
So yes there must be love from and to both sides of course. Is this enough for a lasting marriage?
Well sadly no.
No one is perfect – least of all two people in love. Sooner or later you are going to have a major falling out. What is going to hold you together while you work though that episode?
An opposite example is also interesting. If we put aside our pre-concieved ideas of arranged marriages we notice that these are far more successful than modern western marriages. I have talked to some Indian folk about this practice and got to know them. What I have found is that (1) they do tend to stick to traditional male and female roles
(2) both men and women actually tend to be vary happy and satisfied in their marriages. I didn’t find one that felt oppressed or traped or unloved etc.
I am not advocating for arranged marriages. I am just saying this could be instructive about what makes for a successful and happy marriage.
The idea I am slowly formulating is that love is not enough for a lasting marriage to a NZ woman.
Women need to feel that they are in love. In a long term marriage a wife might go through a period where she is not feeling she is in love. The husband may not have done anything differently. It could be hormones. It could be 100 things. If all they had in the marriage was love then what motivating force does she have to put the work into the relationship to get back that feeling of being in love?
The reality is she has a lot of powerful incentives to leave the marriage even if she is in love with her husband. If/when that feeling of love dips then she can and will drop the man and take his money and kids. She is well aware of this.
“All you need is love”.
To survive perhaps.
Not if you want to stay married it’s not.
Comment by Dave — Sat 13th February 2010 @ 7:22 pm
The following link is to a wonderful story about a young man who grew up with divorced parents in America and found what he was seeking by emigrating to Romania.
American Celebrates Life … in Romania – by Kevin
Comment by SicKofNZ — Mon 15th February 2010 @ 7:53 am
Reply to SicKofNZ
…..Excellent article,well done SickofNZ …..And N.Z society is falling exactly into the same situation as America has……
Kind regards John Dutchie
Comment by John Dutchie — Mon 15th February 2010 @ 8:05 am
reply to Dave
‘The idea I am slowly formulating is that love is not enough for a lasting marriage to a NZ woman.’…..Sad to say this,I do concur with Dave sentiments of his above opinion
With no disrespect to Julie and to OneWomanDV….Just my humble opinion on what I am hearing from my work colleges, and my Friends who are still in a relationship/Marriage with Kiwi Woman….It seems what ever the Guy does, or how hard He tries…… Its never seems to be ‘Good Enough’ for likes of the majority of Kiwi Woman….So why even brother trying….
Kind regards John Dutchie
Comment by John Dutchie — Mon 15th February 2010 @ 8:14 am
Very well said Dave.
Very well said indeed.
You are describing the typical ferry-eyed ideal women follow in their heads. The reality of those in between years that are the bulk of the time spent in the marriage never really crosses the minds of young couples in love.
No matter what we say today and how painful the reality of our broken hearts right now… our children will still fall in love whether we like or not…
There was a woman the other day (a good friend but seriously needing help to cure her misandry) who was dominating her daughter’s life because of her own misfortune… unbeknownst to her mother… this young lady was so in love she hid her relationship from her disgruntled mother for so long… the day of reckoning came when she eloped. You can not believe the outrage her mother brought upon her. She actually had the unfair and unrealistic expectation that just because she raised her alone that she would remain alone… SINGLE FOREVER! They do not speak any longer.
People are still going to fall in love… and if and when that ends badly they will still end up like so many of us… smart/average unhappy, distrusting… lonely people that count our last days in insecure peace of singledom :(.
Paul Elam put this video on youtube…
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheHappyMisogynist#p/search/0/_bmXmrQV8nA
This is what women forget….
“M
It should be played over and over at some women’s refuges to enable those domineering psychotic female family terrorists to self-reflect … that way they would be identified amidst the exodus of women running away from their homes…
It is hard… to see them… some of them really had to leave some unreasonably abusive men… others just jumped on the band wagon cause it suited them… and only them… it is so hard to make a distinction between a real victim of domestic violence and those that lie and cheat their way regardless of the hurt they inflict….
And that money making machine will keep rolling.
Comment by onewomanDV — Mon 15th February 2010 @ 8:43 am
Very well said Dave.
Very well said indeed.
You are describing the typical ferry-eyed ideal women follow in their heads. The reality of those in between years that are the bulk of the time spent in the marriage never really crosses the minds of young couples in love.
No matter what we say today and how painful the reality of our broken hearts right now… our children will still fall in love whether we like or not…
There was a woman the other day (a good friend but seriously needing help to cure her misandry) who was dominating her daughter’s life because of her own misfortune… unbeknownst to her mother… this young lady was so in love she hid her relationship from her disgruntled mother for so long… the day of reckoning came when she eloped. You can not believe the outrage her mother brought upon her. She actually had the unfair and unrealistic expectation that just because she raised her alone that she would remain alone… SINGLE FOREVER! They do not speak any longer.
People are still going to fall in love… and if and when that ends badly they will still end up like so many of us… smart/average unhappy, distrusting… lonely people that count our last days in insecure peace of singledom :(.
Paul Elam put this video on youtube…
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheHappyMisogynist#p/search/0/_bmXmrQV8nA
This is what women in pain forget about men….
“Men do have feelings too…”
“If you peel back a man’s skin you find flesh and wires no gears and wires…”
It should be played over and over at some women’s refuges to enable those domineering psychotic female family terrorists to self-reflect … that way they would be identified amidst the exodus of women running away from their homes…
It is hard… to see them… some of them really had to leave some unreasonably abusive men… others just jumped on the band wagon cause it suited them… and only them… it is so hard to make a distinction between a real victim of domestic violence and those that lie and cheat their way regardless of the hurt they inflict….
And that money making machine will keep rolling.
Comment by onewomanDV — Mon 15th February 2010 @ 8:54 am
I’m beginning to wonder if you know my ex-wife :D. I often jest that she made up at least 50% of the Women’s Refuge national statistics. Emphasis on the made up. I am truly glad of my freedom from the machinations of a psychotic control freak. If I could have left with my children I wouldn’t have been the victim of her isolating manipulations for so many, many years. We really do need a refuge for Dads and their children in every major city.
Regards
Joe Bob
Comment by SicKofNZ — Mon 15th February 2010 @ 9:12 am
Sorry … looks like my fingers are everywhere today… hit the wrong buttons … Need my coffee.. 🙂
Comment by onewomanDV — Mon 15th February 2010 @ 9:16 am
This is a most interesting conversation that reaches down to the core and very fabric of today’s society in the so called modern 1st world western culture.
First up the laws in this country are indescribably disgusting and only serve to entice and tempt women into taking advantage of these laws.
We live in a society where we are forced to prescribe to laws that had been devised for a violent race of people whom have some of the worst statistics in the world for domestic violence. There is no delineation or test as to the qualities and individual responsibilities of each father.
So here we are living in a feminazi country where women have lost the true value of love. Love that used to be so sacred and binding between two, that no matter what happened, man and woman would serve to aid each other for the best outcome.
Now it seems if there are troubles in a relationship the woman will manipulate man and run the gauntlet using every means available to destroy the precious qualities that once existed. Men suffer, Women feel liberated and the ultimate damage is done to our future generation.
However, in answer to the OP. There is hope out there, but, as others have said, do not look to this country for what you seek. You may find it here as not all women are like this, but I think the chances of winning lotto are higher.
You need to way up the value, importance and commitment you wish to invest in a lifelong partner and family over the benefits of living in a modern western culture. Is money and living around nice material things more important?
I my self am making plans to leave this stinking cesspit of an unjust country that prides its self on so many things, yet neglects the most important aspect of human kind and its future generation.
To me love and family is important, I have lost it all, had it all taken away and being charged to the point where I can’t even survive nor afford to see my son. How can such laws exist where a woman on DPB can prevent a kind loving father from accessing his own child. Its a disgrace and a total failure of not just the government but society as a whole to allow this.
After much consideration I have decided to move to a country where the women still cherish family, love and lifelong partnerships. The type of love that is circular, encapsulating and rewarding. Where they are not selfish and would gladly live poor or rich in money terms but still live a rich family life.
Find a job and move to a developing country where the common bond between man and woman is respected without the government trying to act a father of your children.
Comment by Minibar — Mon 15th February 2010 @ 10:42 am
Conversely, how can such laws exist where a woman on the DPB can prevent a child from having access to his/her kind and loving father? It is State sponsored child abuse and State endorsed gender discrimination. It’s more than a disgrace. It is criminal.
You’re making the best decision to emigrate to a country where a Government represents all of its citizens, children, men and women alike IMO.
Comment by SicKofNZ — Mon 15th February 2010 @ 12:51 pm
DPB rates are more than a man receives for being unemployed, plus she gets house, legal aid, etc etc etc etc
Comment by martins — Mon 15th February 2010 @ 12:57 pm
Minibar! That is a most insightful and eloquent post.
In particular:
“First up the laws in this country are indescribably disgusting and only serve to entice and tempt women into taking advantage of these laws.”
I think this observation is exactly my view as well.
I also lay the blame largely at the feet of the laws, the way the laws are applied and most of all the ways the laws are interpreted. It is a systemic failure.
Yes there is something fundamentally wrong with so many feminised women. however in my view the purpose of the law is to limit the extremes in society. However in the most important issues of all (parent – child relationships) the law actually “entice and tempt women into taking advantage of these laws” to exercise extreme long term damage to children and society.
Comment by Dave — Mon 15th February 2010 @ 10:15 pm
Thank you onewomanDV!
I feel I must make it clear that I am by nature a very loving and warm person. Love is so very important to me. That is in fact the reason for my OP. So I am not discounting it. I am just fully aware of the realities of this world.
Comment by Dave — Mon 15th February 2010 @ 10:22 pm
reply to Minibar
…..Beautifully written and right on the Money Minibar….Sorry but what I am about to to say,will upset and piss of a lot people on this Forum site…So be it…. My humble opinion for a the ultimate solution is …Don’t get involved with a Kiwi Woman….Hence Minibar I am leaving Femi Nazi N.Z in 30 months time and returning to Thailand where that Society hasn’ been brainwashed by this Evil Kiwi Femi Nazi social Engineering crap….!!!
Minibar I would like to add some ‘Words’ to your comment that you had written…
‘Find a job and move to a developing country where the common bond between man and woman is respected without a ‘FEMI-NAZI’ government trying to act a father of your children.’
Kind regards to you Good Sir …John Dutchie
Comment by John Dutchie — Tue 16th February 2010 @ 9:22 am
Thanks John
And I like the alteration you made at the end.
It would be nice to see you in Asia when you get there. I am currently applying for jobs and plan to arrive within the next 3 months. Where a woman I met has all the qualities and more I have always imagined. Turns out I have been living in the wrong society. This society does not reflect my hearts desire.
So guys, if you are brave and have the courage to follow what is right, hop on a plane and seek your dream.
But be weary, IRD are worse than the Mafia!!
Comment by Minibar — Tue 16th February 2010 @ 2:24 pm
Absolutely Dave
The most intolerable and selfish attitude I could imagine happened in front of my eyes. For instance I had a private arrangement in place paying the woman on DPB 2.5 times more than what she receives from IRD child support. This was a beneficial arrangement to me, my son and her. As I saved more money which meant I could save for my sons good education and he would receive more direct money (albeit the woman would spent it on her self), also I could afford to see him (as his mother moved far away).
But since the boy’s mother decided to file with IRD nullifying the private arrangement. IRD in their finite wisdom charge me $320 p/w and my son receives $50 of this. IRD claim, that this is being responsible to my child. No it is not of any benefit, it is detrimental to all of our future and creates an intolerable situation.
On top of all this, I had told IRD this is beyond my budget and would need to apply for an administrative review. They had advised I keep paying to them what I could afford ($110pw) and wait until the review had been finalised. So I did as they said, the review officer ignored all my expenses though evidence was presented.
For the 4 month period between waiting for a decision I have been fined an extra 100 per month and have back payments to make, thus IRD now take $475 per week from my wages reducing my income by almost 50%!!!!.
Its most unbelievable!!!!! My budget is -$250p/w,
IRD are the Mafia, when they want money they will get it and crush you in the process. Not just you, the bond between father and child. Whilst the woman on DPB can sit back enjoy life, live in a nice home, have her two free lawyers, receive 3 counselling session a week, get money and food off friends, shop at more wilsons and get clothes from the church and community services. Not to mention low living expenses, community card for cheap medicine, access to public pools, and the raft of other benifits….
Its nice to see our government is supportive of kind, hard working tax paying fathers of this country.
So be very careful having a relationship in this country, things can change very quickly.
Comment by Minibar — Tue 16th February 2010 @ 2:56 pm
Hi Minibar, I’m envious that I can’t follow your lead as quickly as you’re able to. I’ll definitely be doing so eventually and I anticipate taking my three children and five grandchildren away from this sick society too. We’ve all discussed the subject together at length and they’re all keen to follow me.
Make sure you check out the Airline Discrimination Table so that you don’t allow any bigoted airline to profit from your departure from NZ. Misandry must not profit from MEN.
I’ve posted this link here before which is a letter that was written by an escapee from misandry to Asia. I hope it will give you some reassurance.
I wish you the best of luck.
Comment by SicKofNZ — Tue 16th February 2010 @ 3:31 pm
Reply to Minibar
‘IRD are the Mafia, when they want money they will get it and crush you in the process. Not just you, the bond between father and child. Whilst the woman on DPB can sit back enjoy life, live in a nice home, have her two free lawyers, receive 3 counseling session a week, get money and food off friends, shop at more wilsons and get clothes from the church and community services. Not to mention low living expenses, community card for cheap medicine, access to public pools, and the raft of other benefits….’
Reply to your above post Minibar,and another strong and valid reason not to form a relationship with a Kiwi Woman,let alone marry one…And another good reason not to stay in this ‘Femi Nazi Country’
I have a very Good friendship with a N.Z Lady Barrister friend….Who has told me,but more importantly also to my young Adult (Who wanted to become a Male School teacher here in N.Z…Over my Dead Body will I let that happen, and my Lady Barrister Friend said in no uncertain and un political correct terms to my Son face…’No,do not become a Male School teacher in N.Z…Far to dangerous’ ,remember what happen to Peter Ellis Minibar…???)…
My Lady Barrister Friend said don’t marry or live together with a Kiwi Woman…choose a different race or a different culture of a Woman….!!!!!
My Lady Barrister opinion on so called ‘Child Support’ system of N.Z…..’The punishment for been a Man or worse still a Decent ,caring and loving Father here in N.Z’….Enough said…
Man I just can not wait till the day I leave N.Z forever….’Tongue in Cheek’…And ‘Stirring the Pot’….Much to joy of the Kiwi Socail Engineering Femi-Nazi Feminist and there bow down Kiwi Feminism Men…….Who have been so called ‘liberated by Feminism’….’What a crock of S@#t’
Comment by John Dutchie — Tue 16th February 2010 @ 3:35 pm
Reply to SicKofNZ
…..I can truly understand your reasons why SickofNZ,I am still here just hanging on here in N.Z,until my Son finishes of his University Degree and He also is out of here after my young Adult Son had a run in with some young Kiwi Feminists at the University, spitting there usual hateful Kiwi Feminism doctrine at my Son saying ‘All Men are potential Rapists and Pedophiles’..That really upset my Son,and finally put ‘The lid on the coffin’ for me, as for me staying in N.Z….
SicKofNZ ….One of my best friends, who is a brilliant Automotive Engineer and he owns and runs a very successful Auto Mechanical repair business, he as married an awesome and a very highly intelligent Malaysian Lady …He ,with his Malaysian Wife,is taking my young Adult Son to Malaysian later this year …This awesome Lady said to my Son at a Dinner function …This trip to Malaysia will open up your Eyes on how a ‘Un-feminism’ Country respects Womanhood,Motherhood …Manhood and Fatherhood……
Kind regards to you SickofNZ ..John Dutchie
Comment by John Dutchie — Tue 16th February 2010 @ 3:59 pm
My cousin married a wonderful woman from Cambodia. You couldn’t ask for a nicer lady. She’s got awesome qualities that haven’t been spoilt by feminism, even after being in this country for years. You would never guess by her demeanour that she had watched as Pol Pot’s regime had murdered her parents, brothers and sisters apart from one sister. She knows, and behaves as though, she’s lucky to be alive. She has definitely influenced my thinking….and my stomach. She makes the best food!
I almost made the mistake of remarrying a local woman a few years ago. I called it off after becoming too annoyed by her selfishness, her never-ending excuses for her abusive behaviour, her attitude towards my dependent son and her inability to shut her mouth for longer than two minutes. She had just sold her farm for $7million and I have to admit that was definitely a temptation. Unfortunately she would’ve come with the deal. Of course she called CYFS on me with some bogus allegations after I called the marriage off. I knew then, that I had done the right thing.
If I ever marry again it will be to an import however I plan to be an export myself. I still plan to fight the feminism in this country but I don’t need to live here with risk and misery to accomplish that. I can be happier elsewhere and still fight that fight.
Comment by SicKofNZ — Tue 16th February 2010 @ 4:40 pm
Oops! the above post was supposed to be a reply to:
34. John Dutchie ..below this
Comment by SicKofNZ — Tue 16th February 2010 @ 4:42 pm
Reply to SickofNZ
‘I still plan to fight the feminism in this country but I don’t need to live here with risk and misery to accomplish that. I can be happier elsewhere and still fight that fight.’
…And when I have eventually left N.Z and I am living permanently in Thailand I too,will still carry on the fight of this Evil Socail Engineering Feminism…….
Unless of course I am arrested and put into Prison,for speaking against Feminism and be to ‘label’ has a traitor for been ‘Anti Femi Nazi New Zealand’ …..
Don’t laugh to hard Gentleman…History Has a habit of repeating itself …Remember Nazi Germany, when Hitler got supreme command of the Justice system and made it illegal for any German Citizen to protest on what was happening to the Jews…
Also I think,please note the word I use…’I think’ in one of the a states of America,’Colorado’…It is ‘Illegal’ to say or to mentioned ‘That Woman are capable of Domestic……. Violence’….
Kind regards John Dutchie
Comment by John Dutchie — Tue 16th February 2010 @ 5:25 pm
That’s frightening.
Is there an AUSCANZUKUS Agenda that goes far deeper than we can possibly conceive?
China has a one child policy, so perhaps this is the way the 1st world is dealing with it. Judging by the destructive nature of our social mind numbing Family Abomb strategy. I think I prefer the one child policy. At least the family unit stays in tact.
Comment by Minibar — Tue 16th February 2010 @ 9:34 pm
The same elitists behind the manufacture of feminism are also eugenicists so it wouldn’t be surprising if there was a population control agenda incorporated with their manipulation.
Comment by SicKofNZ — Tue 16th February 2010 @ 9:54 pm
You’ll find some information regarding the global elite/population control here. You’ll find much more on that site to research too if you’re interested in conspiracy theories.
Comment by SicKofNZ — Tue 16th February 2010 @ 10:13 pm
My husband married a wonderful woman from NZ too who is not looking forward to his ex wife’s third admin review within 3 years. But on a more cheerful note, she’s only got 7 more admin reviews to apply for.
Comment by Rosie — Thu 18th February 2010 @ 7:00 pm
Interesting to read about guys planning to move away from feminist controlled NZ and seek love with a woman elsewhere.
I moved away some years ago.
I realized that fighting misandry in NZ (with the pathetic men’s movement there and so many women behaving like petty tyrants with thier feminist mindsets) was going to be like pushing sh** uphill for the rest of my life.
I realized that if I weakened and stayed in NZ settling for a NZ woman I had at least a 50/50 chance of being abandoned, financially devastated again and perhaps falsely accused again.
I’ve travelled a bit through europe and asia recently.
I notice some here are mentioning moving to Thailand.
I know several guys who’ve done that and gotten married to Thai women who’re usually at least 10-15 years younger than they are. The guys bought houses in Thailand. When they die the Thai wife automatically gets the house. In the know ex-pats there say the better option is to rent a house/apartment and live with your women there. That way you know she’s not yet another gold-digger but genuinely in love with you.
That said whilst spending some time there and travelling around I noticed NO misandric media portraying men as violent and/or stupid.
Comment by Skeptik — Thu 18th February 2010 @ 7:56 pm
A couple of years ago I used to think guys complaining about child support were just a few disaffected oddballs. Sorry folks, I was wrong! But you probably know what I mean, for some reason it’s impossible to bring these issues out into the open without getting jumped on.
Having been through the process I think I can see at least part of the reason behind our declining birth rate and rising homicide rate. If I’d known then what I know now I would never have got married or had kids! So I guess the answer to the original question is no.
Comment by Dan — Wed 24th February 2010 @ 4:38 pm
well written article, i just bookmarked it for later. i would like to revisit on future articles. how can i set the rss reader again? thanks so much!
Comment by Rent In Makati — Fri 5th March 2010 @ 8:12 pm
Thanks for coming around – LOL. It’s actually worse than increased homicide rate and declining birth rate. I don’t know about NZ, but in the US, a post feminist dystopian police state and its mechanisms discourage young men from pursuing a higher education. A higher education in the US seldom translates into a better job and more pay anyway. Even if there was more pay, the ex just gets most of it (and with a greater than 50% incidence of divorce and pursuit of child support by mothers, the odds your higher education and better paying job are going to be used against you are considerable). So, young men are no longer going to college and many aren’t even pursuing employment. Currently, the ratio of young women to young men in college is 60:40 and growing (that may not seem like much, but it actually is a great difference). If you have an income when your ex or girlfriend files for child support, your wages will be garnished and the more income, the more is garnished. And if you lose your job, arrears continue to accumulate, as your income is imputed and part of imputing an income is your degree of education. The more and faster arrears accumulate, the greater the probability you will be sent to prison. So, the lesson to our young men is don’t educate yourselves and don’t get jobs. These young men are actually better off without them – and that is truly sad that a government and community discourages education for half its population (ironically, the part of the population that can do the most with it). Very scary too.
Comment by Darryl X — Sat 26th February 2011 @ 6:25 am
JD – they already put men in jail in the US and a few other countries. In the US, approximately nine-million men have been sent to prison during the past forty years as part of the feminist agenda. I’m not laughing. I’ve lived it and it is chilling. In the US twenty years ago, women had Take-Back-the-Night marches, which reminded old Jewish acquaintances of mine of the Brown Shirts and the Night-of-the-Long-Knives in Nazi Germany. They couldn’t believe what they were seeing. It was like a flash-back. DX
Comment by Darryl X — Sat 26th February 2011 @ 6:41 am