WhyI won’t be attending school camp …
Fellows!
I see in today’s news, not only have Air New Zealand confirmed their policy regarding seating unaccompanied children next to men; MP David Benson-Pope is again under fire for his alleged past teaching habits; and as a result (but not surprisingly) there was talk on TV last night about whether or not all men (note men; not women) should now at long last be police-checked before attending any school camp.
[Actually, as a complete aside, I wouldn’t mind if Air NZ could ensure kids don’t sit in the seats immediately in front of me too: I can’t stand having the pesky brats peering over at me and pulling faces with cheesy toothless grins from sticky unwiped faces, whilst I am trying to enjoy a pleasant in-flight movie].
Now I can’t speak for the truth of these potentially abusive situations that David Benson-Pope is alleged to have placed himself in; but one has to simply ask the question: If he did indeed enter the girl’s dormitory, or their shower block, is he through his actions a potential sexual predator, or a victim of his own folly?
In other words, how many other teachers at some time or another have placed themselves in the same or similar situations?
I remember an elderly female teacher entering the boy’s toilet in which I and one or two others were making a mess with toilet paper one lunch time, many, many years ago. She marched us off to the principal’s office.
Girls at least have the added advantage of all sitting in individual cubicles, rather than lined up in the open along a wall, should a teacher walk in.
Lord forbid - I remember the days that our whole class, boys and girls alike, were stood by our desks, and had to remove all our clothes! In front of the teacher!!!
OK, we all then proceeded to don our togs, before filing out across the field to the school pool for a refreshing swim! But oh the abuse! I was naked!
Abusive? Risky? Should the teacher be called to account?
What if it happened yesterday, and the teacher was male?
Or was it simply the norm back then?
Men! It’s time we take the bull by the horns!
Next time you have a spare moment: Train as a teacher. Offer to attend a school camp; Dress up as Santa Claus. Ask to fly Air New Zealand to that camp, and whilst on the plane, offer to sit next to any unaccompanied children!
Seriously though, do the powers that be not want to recognise that, as a direct reaction to the above, real men (’fathers’, to use a somewhat culturally unpalatable word) will simply not volunteer to attend school camps - or any school activity, for that matter, given they surely should be police-checked for each ocassion?
[This is the classic 'you are guilty until you prove yourself innocent' line, made famous through many a false allegation in the Family Court. Roll back a generation to the ‘All men are rapists’ mantra to understand its feminist roots].
Not only have we already witnessed the virtual desertion of the teaching industry by men, but soon too men will abandon extra-curricular activities, out of fear of misguided allegations of abuse being levelled at them years down the track.
How better to reinforce the subliminal message to innocent children: all men are potential abusers, and clearly not to be trusted!
Imagine the traditional school camp devoid of men.
No active role models for the boys (many have no active father in their life already, although some will have been told these strange creatures actually once existed).
Remember of course too that many of these children have likewise come to doubt the existence of that mythical creature, the male teacher.
Back to the school camp:
Women having to hurry the boys out of the showers, or enter the dormitories to retrieve wayward and tardy lads.
Women entering the boy’s toilets to ensure they have been cleaned thoroughly after the camp, and to retrieve lost property.
Women walking the boy’s dormitories at night, shushing up the boys, and making the odd disruptive rogue stand outside the door in his pj’s.
Women pushing boys with low self esteem to try once more to conquer their fears with certain activities (perhaps a rock wall, or abseiling?)
Let me ask you this: given a choice, who would you really trust at the end of the belay rope, securing the full body weight of a 80kg muscle bound 17 year old young man, 20 metres up a rock face, should he slip?
How many school galas and garage sales see men present, usually manning the more physically demanding outdoor stalls and activities? Pitching tents, carting trestle tables etc? Were they all police-checked?
What about the school bus driver? Should they now be women-only, because it stands to reason that it’s inevitable that at some stage there will be only girls, or just one girl left alone on the bus?
How many sports do men, freely giving their spare time for the greater good of our children, coach?
Should we not now bar men from travelling on any bus or train that has school children on it, surely the logical extension of the Air NZ policy?
Now of course, I no more than any one else wish to see little Johnny or Janey sexually abused by anyone.
I in no way excuse the sexual abuse of any child by any adult, male or female (or of any adult, for that matter).
But we can all read the recent media reports of women teachers sexually abusing children; we can all familiarise ourselves with recent studies that show women feature much highly than supposed in the sexual abuser stakes.
And yes, some fathers do sexually abuse their children. So do some mothers. Statistically, more fathers than mothers. They are sick. They need serious help.
Sound research will tell you that men who are involved in the infant lives of their children (that translates to feeding, toileting, bathing, playing, reading etc), are very unlikely to abuse their children.
Why? They have a deep psychological bond with them. An attachment-bond exists.
It is no different to the bond that mothers have, except mothers have the added protector of having carried and nurtured the foetal baby, delivered and (often) breastfed them.
These men are the same men who will do whatever they can for their children.
For example, volunteer to help out at their child’s school camp.
They are not the sexual predators we seem to want to teach our kids that they are.
Now if a man walks in off the street, and volunteers to help out at his local school camp, by all means, be suspicious. Check him out.
Don’t forget to police check your baby-sitter; your child’s uncles; your neighbour; your current partner too.
[Studies report stepfathers as posing up to a hundred times more risk to your children than their fathers].
What about those grocers that used to slip us a sweet when our mum’s weren’t watching, with a wink and a smile! What were they up to?
Not to mention all those men out there who are queuing to sit next to your child on the bus, or at the local theatre, food court, playground etc.
Men, who might say hello to little children on the street. Or stop to help them?
As for single men sitting at McDonald’s, or those male swimmers down at your local pool - be especially wary of them!
I for one, if I am going to have to go through this each time I help out at my daughter’s school, forget it.
I simply can’t be bothered.
Count me one less willing and able volunteer, scratching himself from the list.
And remember this: a police check doesn’t guarantee your kid’s safety.
It simply means the next Jo / Joe Bloggs, sexual deviant and predator , simply hasn’t been caught yet!
He’s managed to dodge all that … so far.
By the way:
I agree whole-heartedly that men should not enter certain girl-privacy zones, and women likewise should not enter the corresponding areas for boys.
I just don’t see the need to crack a walnut with a sledgehammer.
Yet again, it is our children who will inevitably suffer.
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