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3 Responses to “Any Gamblers Here”

1. Bevan Berg says:

   Sat 22nd April 2006 at 8:14 am

   Try this

   http://www.coloradodivorcemediation.com/family/parent_plans.asp

2. Bevan Berg says:

   Sat 22nd April 2006 at 8:21 am

   and this

   http://www.ncmc-mediate.org/joan.html

3. JohnP says:

   Sat 22nd April 2006 at 11:48 am

   From what I can see, Joan Kelly seems pretty sensible.

   Some quotes from a California Parents United letter to James Dobson [184 KB .PDF], references in original document.

   One of the researchers involved in this challenge is Joan Kelly, Ph. D., a co-worker of Wallerstein; and, in a recent presentation to the Joint Meeting of the Bench and Bar in Birmingham, Alabama (January 13, 2000), she stated, among other things, that “Children really like and prefer a shared physical custody arrangement. What children want is regular involvement of both parents in daily activities; they do not mind the inconvenience of changing residences to achieve this (emphasis added). Children are not satisfied with standard visitation schedules.”

   Kelly further states that the (traditional form of) “visitation makes fathers peripheral in their children’s lives, and that this realization results in fathers dropping out…”

   Kelly further goes on to state in another published conversation that, “Until the late 1980s, we were not studying children in the married family. But when research began comparing children of married parents with those of divorced parents and examining a multiplicity of variables, we learned that within married families there are enormous variations with children’s adjustment…..if you look at the research, the divorced children (may) have more behavioral and academic problems than children whose parents are married, (but) the differences between the two groups are really quite small and they have been narrowing in recent years”.

   Most interesting, however, are Kelly’s comments concerning fathers:

   “We’ve come full circle on fathers since the 1970’s. Back then we said that frequent contact with fathers was associated with better child adjustment following divorce. In the 1980’s several influential studies reported that there was no relationship between father contact and child adjustment. This was quite troubling for many clinicians. But in the 1990’s — in fact in the last two years — there have been studies that demonstrate a significant relationship between a father’s post-divorce involvement with his children and their positive adjustment. This occurs if the father’s involvement is characterized as emotionally supportive and “active parenting” meaning discipline, problem solving and appropriate parenting behaviors. After divorce, fathers often drift away from active parenting because they have minimal time with their kids. One very interesting finding from a national study is that when dads are more actively involved with their children’s school the children do better academically, are less likely to be suspended or expelled and like school better”