Auckland needs an overseas panel of experts to boost Auckland’s economy. It is feared that Auckland’s economy is fuelled only by the growth of the city. I found this on teletex. When New Zealanders stop thinking for themselves you get second best. Like Botany Downs Shopping Centre. The spread out design for this came from an American company who designed a suitable shopping centre for the weather conditions in sunny California. Go figure what it is doing the other side of East Tamaki.
If there is one reason this cities economy will fail it is because we are breeding a generation of state dependant meanderthals. Straight from their mothers apron strings and the play station to the State Tit.
Having been an employer I have seen the standard of our youth deteriorate rapidly over the last few years. The younger they were the worse it got. They would walk in for an interview and within 30 seconds of observing the way a young man walked and talked I could tell if he had been raised by his mother alone. Just to confirm it I would throw something casual into the conversation like — following in your parents footsteps, what do they do. These young men we called 13 week wonders, that was about the limit of their capacity to hold down a job.
They did not value their job; they did not value a job well done, their tools, their equipment, or the opportunity to learn. Quite frankly — I wouldn’t be bothered being an employer in New Zealand again. And yes the reason I was at the sharp end of this syndrome was because I was in one of New Zealand’s hard yard male dominated industries. The place where women are best kept away from, and you are right I wouldn’t have and didn’t employ one either except in the office.
I spotted a comment the other day labelling this generation the bubble wrap generation; cotton wool must be out of vogue. Not surprising though when you have got a city of mothers who would stop our children having fun with their fathers, because they are just that selfish and vindictive.
The problem we should be addressing is not the Auckland economy it is the cabinet table. There isn’t any one there to say tell the funny girls they screwed up and that they should shut up and piss off, so we can rebuild our country with out having to listen to their harping about why life isn’t the way they think it should be.
Bevan, I don’t know you well enough to tell you what I think about your attitude but damned if I will sit back and let you make such statements without my view.
This problem is not because of women. This is society and the fact that our children have it so much easier than we did.
Life will change again in years to come. This is just what this generation gets because of what the last generation and one before that did. We always try to make the world a better place than what it was like when we were young.
And in my opinion life today is better than it was 50 years ago. Unfortunately everything has a price. By the way, I know many males that spoil their children no differently than women do.
Go, like many other business people and expliot less developed countries.
You are right Julie — you don’t know we well, because I do not believe that business is there to exploit people. It is to advance every employee to their level of competence, for fair remuneration, but you cannot do that with an emancipated and emasculated work force.
You are right Julie — you don’t know me well, because I do not believe that business is there to exploit people. It is to advance every employee to their level of competence, for fair remuneration, but you cannot do that with an emancipated and emasculated work force.
Oh, Bevan. So you are an employer who has young men working for you. This concerns me somewhat. I can picture you and your workmates dogging women to these young people. And I can see these young people at my door backstabbing you because you are the boss and even though they are uncomfortable around you, they won’t challenge you. And God forbid you get to mould these young minds.
Because we have free speech and human rights it is harder to keep employees than it used to be. Also in business today, we fight for good employees by looking to help them and thier needs from the basics of food, shelter etc right up to thier physical, emotional and spiritual needs.
If you are not keeping your business up-to-date then I will not be surprised if you go through employees at 13 weeks or less. This may come down to your skills.
I have just checked at your webiste and I can see you help people so I want to back down on this. But I seriously think you should look outside the square.
There’s a difference between helping one another and being a charity. One creates opportunity and the other creates dependency. And don’t tell me charity begins at home. That expression relies on the old meaning of charity inferring that there will be peace in society when there is love in the home. Charity (old meaning) in our homes is what gave us our independence, Charity (new meaning) in society is what creates our dependence. Children in this country are taught to look in their father’s wallet to see what they can get out him, after there mother been there for child support, treat him like a charity rather than a person. The DPB mother and the McDonalds Dad, you tell me what that teaches our children. They grow up with expectations of other people, rather than expectations of themselves. That is the sort of dependency that is killing our country, and it’s the same source of contempt that will leave a few more women dead before we get over this little social adventure.
Reality check – there is a bigger chance of a woman killing a man than a man killing a woman.
So you say, “Children in this country are taught to look in their father’s wallet to see what they can get out him, after there mother been there for child support, treat him like a charity rather than a person.”
Are we blaming women for this?
Both men and women who don’t have their children often spend money unnecessaraliy. This is just a way to try and show you love them when you only have a short time to show them. And true, the children learn to take advantage of it. But then, doesn’t a father who works many hours feel guilty and do the same thing when he is home? And don’t grandparents do this too?
There are heaps of dads who don’t have money to give thier kids and their are heaps of dads that just won’t give unless it is important even though they pay child support. Their children don’t ask because they know better.
We could just throw these mothers and their children onto the street and then they will be begging to do anything for money. The women will most certainly be wanting dad to have full custody. Hey, women will do anything to stay with thier husbands. There certainly will be fear amongst women and thus good behaviour. And what about the men. OH, well they will be well behaved gentlemen, loving and caring. Hasn’t history written this story?
I don’t have the answers anymore than you do. But I know blaming is pointless.
In many ways I agree with Bevan’s sentiments about modern children, but I also agree with Julie in that I don’t think the problem is created exclusively by solo-parents.
Before the throw-away society developed (when I was a kid) we learned to fix anything and everything. The word safety largely meant “don’t get caught by your parents” and the things we got up to back then (all legal) would have OSH and ACC turning grey today.
Today I have been bush-bashing in a couple of 4-wheel drives. One got utterly stuck. We (two adult males and one female “Susie-ex army captain who eats nails for lunch”) put the solution solve to the three teenage boys with us.
All we got were blank looks and a bunch of ‘Dunnos’.
So we hauled out some tackle and invited them to figure out a solution with the tackle. Blank looks.
So we went further and pointed out the various angles and energies needed to retrieve the stuck lorry. We pointed out anchor-points for tackle, mentioned levers and pulleys, and showed them how to make pulleys using trees, shackles, chains and ropes. Finally the blank looks began to fade. An hour later, and after many failed attempts, and with just a little bit of further advice from us, the boys retrieved the vehicle.
Their pride of achievement was manifest on their faces.
When Susie showed them how to rig just one straight rope (no pulleys), and then haul on it with one hand, and move a two tonne Pajero up a slope, their eyes bugged out.:–))
Whereas, this morning the boys were really quite ho hum about going bush bashing, now they can’t wait till next weekend. :–))
One of the boys had been with us before when we struck another big problem…at east it was a big problem to him. But because we were all brought up having to know how to solve physical problems, we do.
Today, after we had given so little yet so much advice, this lad asked, ‘How do you old blokes know how to do all this shit?’
Incidentally, I cannot remember a parent coming anywhere near us as kids. We knew what we wanted to achieve and so we worked it out for ourselves. We could build boats, fix cars, hunt, shoot and fish. Free-dive around Rangitoto Island, (having swum the 1.2 miles from Cheltenham Beach to get there) in 50 ft of water to catch crays.
That’s what’s missing these days. So few kids get exposure to real life. All they get is vicarious exposure via TV and involvement in ‘safe’ activities.
And so, Bevan, I think you could equally blame ACC, OSH, TV, and the no-winners school system, as you can a few solo mothers.
In fact, given a couple of kids (mixed girls boys) in our ‘gang’ of 1960 had solo mothers, yet those kids we equal in all ways to those of us with parents (who didn’t get involved anyway). So maybe it’s actually the Safe-Society Syndrome which is killing our kids exposure to life and all which is in it.
Are we blaming women — no we are blaming females and their sympathisers. It is not about money, it is about attitude. Not just the attitude from mothers, but teachers, lawyers, politicians, doctors, and the social services that pretend that they are just not responsible for the social disarray we are seeing. You can forgive peoples genuine errors, and their fallibility, but when it comes down to, deliberate and intentional, then you can stand accountable, and it’s high time we put females in this country on the pedestal of accountability instead of just letting them sit up there pretending they haven’t done anything wrong. You can tell a woman with integrity, they will have a man’s respect in less than 30 seconds, that’s because they are women and not just female.
Woman arrested for wasting police time (and assaulting a Police Officer) after hoax call.
Let’s see if we can find an excuse for this female. The final comment from the Police
Inspector Andrew Brill of the police northern communications centre said the attention to the call “resulted in delays in responding to genuine emergency calls”
Maybe if the outcome is reported someone might post it here, so we can see what happens.
Just reading from all Menz Links I have come to accept hat boys raised without fathers or male role figures seem to get into trouble or stife one way or the other.
Are there actual statistics to prove this?
Also, what happens to the girls who grow up without their Dads or other male role figures?
Do they have problems too? And again , are there statistics/
By the way, I agree with Bevans remark that the the standard of youth today has declined.
It is indeed harder these days to find youths who are polite and respect older people. It is hard to find youths who are helpful and courteous.
It is easy to find drunken teenage louts who would bash you over the head for no reason at all in any City Street.
Do we blame drugs, availability of alcohol, their parents, or lack of policing?
I blame the parents first. Policing and lack of discipline 2nd and 3rd. drugs and alcohol have have little to do with it if parents, cops and discipline work together, not against each other.
Its just not bloody safe to walk the streets at night or go to the local pub.
Why is that? It used to be. We used to leave our homes and cars unlocked years ago without fear of burglary..cant do that anymore..even in Invercargill.
Hi Morris Lindsay
You ask if there are actual statistics to prove that boys raised without fathers or male role figures seem to get into trouble and stife. (And what happens to the girls?)
Quite a few studies have been done in the States. And one or two here in New Zealand. One overall figure from the US is that more than two thirds of incarcerated delinquents, of high school dropouts, of teenage runaways, of abused or murdered babies, and of juvenile murderers were reared without their biological fathers. (David Lykken, ‘Reconstrucing Fathers’, American Psychologist Magazine, 2000)
An NZ study in 2003 showed that father-absence means that among daughters, early sexual activity and teenage pregnancy is more likely. (Ellis B., Bates J. et al,)
More new zealand info is available on the families commission website, and here;
Also these articles from the Fathermag website are worth looking at;
85% of Youths in Prison Grew Up in Fatherless Homes:
Fatherless Kids More Likely to Suffer Mental Health Problems:
Fatherless Boys Grow Up Into Dangerous Men. Maggie Gallagher in The Wall Street Journal:
Of course this is all common sense. But for those who need proof, the science is there too, to show that without their dads around, kids go off the rails.
A friend died last week. He was a Fijian Indian man, who left a wife, two sons, a panelbeating business, and a rental car business. At his funeral they stopped counting at 500 people. His nickname was ‘Uncle’ because of all people he helped to get established in NZ. His sons were at work today keeping the business going (heads shaven as is the custom after a funeral). They said “This is what Dad would have wanted us to do”
I found his grieving wife wandering around the workshop, talking to friends who had dropped by, but also seeing how life was going on for her family.
Her late husband is only one of several Fijiian Indian men I know who have flourishing family businesses, who help others get started.
I discovered last year that there is NOT ONE Fijiian Indian on the unemployment or sickness benefit in Auckland.
The point I a making is that here is a stark contrast to Maori and European Society in Auickland. Here are people who believe in family, who believe in working hard, who believe in creating wealth.
They would laugh at the idea that the Government has any role in their lives.
I love having these people for clients, they have the values that I was brought up with.
Like Bevan, I choose not to do business with people I do not respect.
I look forward to people like these taking over this country one day.
Just today there is headline news which in essence states that boys are out-performed by girls in 90% of NCEA standards.
If I heard correctly, boys make up 41% of NCEA standards passes, compared to girls 59%.
Also revelations that boys make just 42% of university enrolments.
Yesterday a study was reported that noted how travel and career orientated girls are, no longer valuing parenthood or marriage.
Whereas a recent study reported boys as valuing families and
(refer to http://stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,2106,3640126a11,00.html )
How did we get here?
Have education policies favoured girls, either blatently throuh ignoring boy’s needs, or subtly via girl-friendly entrenched teaching methods?
Does the lack of fathers in homes, male teachers in schools, and repression of freedom of male expression contribute to the current sad scenario?
What is the future for boys in a career orientated world?
What happens when men are relegated out of the work force because women clearly will be overwhelmingly better qualified for the vast majority of jobs on offer.
And when they turn around and say ‘it’s a boy’s problem – let them sort if out’?
Hi john B
thanks for your appreciation of the fiji indian culture. Although this is still present at this stage, i am skeptical that such values will remain.
Although the fiji indian males still retain their values, the girls seem to be more adopting the kiwi way which is although not bad, these girls tend to get encouraged into the wrong ways. they do not have limits which can be observed in the Kiwi culture.
where an indian girl used to be the pride of the family, she is now the one causing a reputation. when asked why , the reply ‘ oh this is how mordern people behave”.
where an indian girl would accept a husband for life now its.. “if i don’t feel like staying married i will divorce him” is the norm. “thats how white girls do it” is the reasoning behind it… again no criticism intended at any culture but just pointing out that there are people who think what they see on the surface is the true picture and hence follow…
Guess culture shock is a bit too much to take and for many they do not realise the consequences and effects such behaviour has until too late.
Being a fijian indian raied in australia i found your comment to be pretty laughable. Throughout my life most of my mates happen to be aussie anglos
When people refer to divorce as part of the aussie culture or white peoples influence especially people from different cultures i see it as an excuse for them to be denial that the marriage wasnt meant to be or did not have the potential to last. My parents marriage have had its ups and downs and i thank god that it has lasted this long. If you thinking that its girls mucking about
that u have to be one blind fool. The guys are know better either
cause they have “standards” where they want someone who looks like jennifer lopez and beyoncee.
I know alot of fiji girls who are so nice, know how to cook good food and have good family values and have the greatest asset to be great life partners to a man who will love and cherish them though they tend lack sociable skills and confidence when they do have the guts to lay out their heart to a fiji indian guy that they are interested in they are rejected and only see them as “just friends”.Cause they
want the really beautiful supermodel type girls. When those girls give those
guys the biggest kick in the arse after marriage people tend to blame it on western culture and that all girls are bad. So those nice girls end up marrying guys who are really worthy and appreciate them whether its aussie or kiwi anglo, native fijian or mediterranean
Plus if you have have a daughter that feels depressed or sad in her marriage are you going force her to in that relationship and her husband treats her like crap
If you want relationships for your daughtter and grandaughter to last tell them to look for a guy who can be their life partner, someone who can be their bestfriend,
someone who can make them laugh and be very sarcastic. Tell them having an argument is considered good in a relationship not a negative. Tell them to try and work on the pros and cons together and that not everything is ever perfect.
wow Ti aren’t you the sheltered one.. girls in fiji flock to the boy when they hear he is from overseas.. AGENDA: to get married, get out of fiji and then have their own way.. all after convincing the boy from overseas that they are for real…here you are telling me these are true values.. use someone to meet their own ends and then take him to the cleaners (using the common xcuse-“my husband is abusive”.. even if he is no- reason they say this is cos they got caught in external affairs))even when prior to marraige the boy does lay it down that they are looking for a genuine marriage.. are you one of these girls.. is that y u are defending them??.. laughable.. i gues the jokes on u..
girl get real.. enough of your emotional arguments and face reality.. what u describe is no longer applicable nor can it be hid…
go to auckaland MERCY hospital.. u will find a lt of fiji indian women.. divorced who used their husbands to come to NZ… tell methey are right in doing so… go on…
mothers in fiji these days force their daughters into marrying overseas.. the boy does not force them.. if i were u, i would confront their parents.. this is reality. like i said u r very sheltered