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National Collective of Independent Women’s Refuge Bullies

Filed under: Domestic Violence,General — JohnPotter @ 1:59 pm Sat 23rd September 2006

The story below is a rare glimpse into the way power and control is exercised by radical feminist gatekeepers.

It is interesting to compare their behaviour with other feminist groups such as the National Network of Stopping Violence Services, and Doctors for Sexual Abuse Care.

Wanganui Chronicle: Refuge wrangle goes on

Wanganui agencies are again questioning why it’s taken so long to open another refuge when $70,000 is sitting in the Wanganui account held by the National Collective of Independent Women’s Refuge Inc (NCIWR).

They’re also questioning why the NCWIR is paying $230 a week for a safe house in Wanganui that’s not being used. The former Women’s and Children’s Shelter was affiliated to the NCIWR, but it was closed in March 2005 when CYF, its main funding provider, withdrew its funding after an audit found faults with the way it was run.

For that reason, Wanganui women who supported victims of domestic violence don’t want a refuge affiliated to the NCIWR.

They believe an independent refuge run by a local charitable trust would provide far better services to abused women and children in Wanganui.

In September 2005, an interim governance group, the Wanganui Women’s Refuge (WWR), was formed.

City Missioner Shirley-Joy Barrow last month resigned from the WWR governance group citing the behaviour of the NCIWR as the reason.

Ms Barrow said she agreed to be a member of the current group but found as time went on that the NCIWR bullied people through their control of meetings and processes.


  1. Hi John,

    This sort of information is very helpful. I can understand why this sort of thing is happening.

    Women want help to make things work out with their husbands and the women’s groups SHOULD help them do this. It is WRONG and INSULTING WOMEN’S INTELLEGENCE to expect us to conform to the agenda of people that are only interested in their own personal power.

    Women’s groups get phone calls from the fathers who are upset about coming home to find their children and wife GONE. And that’s nothing. Addiction and other stressors are contributing factors to the fights (DV)

    Women really want to have their behaviours challenged. I swear on that. They know that the men they fall head over heels in love with and who they want to grow old with and enjoy grandchildren with are not monsters.

    But then there is women who just want to have another man and use the system to get rid of the one they have yet take all his belongings, throw him out and lock him up if he gets in her way.

    Those one’s are playing the game where they expect and trust he will not stand up tp them with having a piece of paper stripping him of all rights but not obligations.

    In fact if we consider the amount of DV orders being written and the amount of men killing these women who stay in the family home, we would see that most of them are not threatening lives at all.

    The refuges on the other hand are a time out place, a safe place to get things sorted. You don’t sort things out by being dishonest or pretending things are different than what they really are.

    I am impressed with the amount of females that thank me for telling it both ways. But that does not mean that instantly with knowledge things will change. Sometimes seperating the two sides and letting them see their strengths and weaknesses and support is needed.

    And that is why it is sooooooo important to have men’s refuges as well. IMO

    Comment by julie — Mon 25th September 2006 @ 9:34 am

  2. Hi again John,

    It seems to be that thoughts I have today are all but an echoe to what you have heard, discussed and know.

    Whilst looking up more information on this subject, I came across one of your pages.

    Very interesting.
    I also want to tell you that I have noticed your site being at the top of lists through ‘google’ search.

    It tells me that you are reaching out to many university level students as well as the public.

    Good one.

    Comment by julie — Mon 25th September 2006 @ 2:00 pm

  3. Hi there, I stumbled upon this page whilst I was trying to access the constitution for NCIWR on the companies office/trusts and societies website. I find it fascinating that the comments regarding the bullying behaviour of the people who work for NCIWR in Wellington in 2006, has not changed at all now in 2012. I use to work for women’s refuge and did a short stint at National Office and I just wanted to share with readers that it is the most abusive organisation I have ever worked for. Is this not a reflection of the governance not managing their CEO? I think so!!! What has happened in not only Wanganui, but Te Awamutu and many other areas, is not news. The actions of a select few people have caused each Refuge to come into disrepute, either financially or otherwise, yet NCIWR think they have the right to “jet set” their supposed Service Development Workers around the country under the guise of “visiting in a supportive capacity” to bully refuges to do what the CEO wants them to do, or they are threatened with the possibility of closure. What a load of shit!!! Some one at the national Wellington level needs to address this, as the local workers are look upon as mere peasants by the CEO.

    Comment by Bella — Wed 14th November 2012 @ 6:40 pm

  4. #3,,these CEO’s wouldnt happen to be female by any chance?

    Comment by Ford — Wed 14th November 2012 @ 8:31 pm

  5. All of the CEOs have been female, it’s some stupid policy that is written into their constitution!!!! When I worked for the “god forsaken” organisation, I witnessed many women who were brilliant workers, who were just there to do their job according to contractual obligation, get bullied so much by national office – the CEO to be exact, that they left very traumatized women. What is even more astounding, is the fact that the CEO has been the same for many many years – one has to ask if she has some kind of hidden agenda that runs along the lines of BUILD MY OWN EMPIRE and destroy anyone who may stand in the way….lol

    Comment by Bella — Thu 15th November 2012 @ 2:46 pm

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