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Poisoned Prose

Filed under: Domestic Violence — JohnPotter @ 7:37 pm Tue 22nd August 2006

My friend Dave has just posted a critique on his website of a recent NZ Herald article:
Attitudes change towards old taboo

Before we go any further, let me make it quite clear where I stand on violence: I don”t believe it is OK for men to hit women. I don’t believe it is OK for women to hit men.

Nor do I believe that the common combination of intimidation, verbal harassment, putdown, windup, and so forth that often accompanies, or serves instead of, physical violence is OK, from either sex.

I believe it is sometimes appropriate for parents to use physical means to discipline children, but not to the extent that physical injury occurs.

So when an article like the one below appears in the Herald, ostensibly part of a media campaign to raise awareness about family violence, why does my stomach crawl?

My stomach crawls because the article is a piece of anti-male shit. It is a piece of anti-male shit despite the fact that its author is apparently male, and despite its ostensible focus on “family” violence.

Read the rest of ‘Poisoned Prose’ at


  1. Thanks John,
    It’s precisely this sort of sick attitude of demonizing all nz men by blanketing them all as violent whilst turning a blind eye to female violence (plenty of which I’ve been on the receiving end of in nz) which I feel ABUSED by.

    You want more male feelings Mal?
    Well, I’ll gladly supply some.
    When I read this sort of press I feel unsafe as a man in nz.
    I feel needlessly shamed by it’s false and perverse stereotyping of my sex.
    I feel deeply offended and disillusioned with the many folks, mainly womenfolk of nz who stand passively by and let this propoganda spread nationwide through thier complacency.

    I also feel so concerned for any man who happens to be in nz, that I make a point of saying to men globally – STAY AWAY, for you the place is now evil.

    I’m hugely relieved to be away from the place. I can live other places without having to self medicate to cope. I’m now surging ahead, instead of being dragged down by a thousand femiNZzi cuts.

    Like you said JP – ‘shit’ but let’s face it folks – it’s come out in nz’s largest selling newspaper. It’s a product of the society, so it’s Kiwi shit.

    God defend New Zealand indeed.
    The folks there are in my prayers.

    Comment by Stephen — Wed 23rd August 2006 @ 6:16 am

  2. Thanx for posting this John,

    Some of it I already knew to be coming but I did not know all involved or how closely connected all these groups were. Almost everyone comes under these groups in one way or another from our hospitals, charity groups, right down to our schools. Yes, even our primary schools are soon to have social workers paid by CYFS in them. (you probably already know that)

    This is absolutely frightening.

    What I can’t understand is how so many people in these groups know and admit to it being off balanced but yet everyone keeps quiet.

    Oh, but I do know why, for they sold their souls. They sold their vioce, they sold their mana.

    Now, they all await for Man Alive to speak up, to tell them that the off balance is wrong but Man Alive can’t because they too have been bought.

    But not all groups can be bought this way for they gave their souls to another cause. This is another article in the Herald. One where the Salvation Army is wanting to assist fathers.
    New incentive urged for absent fathers’ support

    And there is also the problem of mothers walking out on their children because of drug use and not being able to cope and fathers approaching budget advice agency and the like for help. And what about the City Mission.

    The only way to put anything right is for all these groups to get together. These people who live off women and children being victimes of men may have the $$$ and the initials behind their names but they are not the highest number. This will all crumble because dishonesty always does. Theirs is a short term and they are suffocating in their own lies.

    Comment by julie — Wed 23rd August 2006 @ 9:54 am

  3. Susan is full of horseshit.During my 3 year trial for overnight access; I was accused;villified with verbal violence.What the f… is that;and why is it fine when she used these words on me?I have won the access case ;won the battle;lost the war long term;as we do.I am now so depressed in the blackhole of child support poverty;with suicidal ideation;that I I am having loony therapy and have reversed everything;announcing to the ex that I want no contact from her and my daughter for at least 2 months as they they are triggers for self destructive acts.My poor daughter;poor me.The rich ex offered to reduce my CS;I told her to stick it;I won’t be her puppet.She was left breathless as Hung up the phone.?a different tact fellow inmates of the IRD and family court?

    Comment by keith — Wed 23rd August 2006 @ 6:21 pm

  4. Keith,

    I know I was hard on you on another post but the truth is women (like myself) are often considered tempermental yet what men (most) don’t understand is that we don’t understand you any better than you understand us. Especially when pain is being inflicted and received.

    I agree with your wisdom to step away from the situation for a while.

    Comment by julie — Thu 24th August 2006 @ 9:27 am

  5. I got a very interesting book out of the library a couple of weeks ago about domestic violence against men (sorry can’t remember the name) it showed that there were even numbers of violence against men as against women and that women were more likely to use a weapon in the attack. the most interesting part of the book was dealing with the hostility and backlash that these stats caused and how they were twisted or ignored as it didn’t conform with what people believed. A lot of the organisations that helped female victims were concerned that they would lose their funding. HIs point was that by denying that abuse existed for men as well meant that there were a lot of females that were unable to get help with anger management and men were unable to get support to help them get over the violence and rebuild their lives. He tells of men ringing abuse centres for help and them being totally unable to deal with a man being the victim. If anyone is interested in reading this book I will go back to the library and find out the name.

    Comment by Chrissy — Thu 24th August 2006 @ 6:36 pm

  6. Hi Chrissy,

    Yes that is what I have come to realise. I would like the name of the book.

    But this week has been very interesting witnessing these groups come together. The money is being pooled and is more accessable to victims. These do include boys even at the late teenage years and we will see what the reaction is once more males come out. If the males themselves don’t come out, I am predicting their mothers and partners will. I may be shunned for saying this but I personally know some of these people and I am sure they have plans for they have always had plans. They are not silly people. I am optimistic that this is just phase one.

    Comment by julie — Fri 25th August 2006 @ 9:52 am

  7. Book is called ‘Abused Men’ by Phillip W. Cook. 362.829 COO; ISBN 0-275-95862-0.

    Comment by Chrissy — Fri 25th August 2006 @ 12:48 pm

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