The Sleeping Giant is Awakening!
A response to Simon Maude appointed apologist for the lawyers, Peter Boshier chief spin doctor of the Family Court and other defenders of this Industry of Misery.
This is the story of two Jedi Knights.
It’s Good Friday at 9:30 pm and the boys are watching a Star Wars video in the bedroom, while ”falling asleep“. In fact they are talking, but that’s kids.
Early tomorrow morning John and Peter will be on the PS2. Its not like this every weekend; it’s a special weekend – ten year old Peter is staying over with eight year old John. School holidays and these two Jedi Knights are great mates. John’s dad and mum separated just before he was born. Peter’s mum and dad can’t live under the same roof. This is the situation of hundreds of thousands of Kiwi Kids and their parents.
They are still talking away; when John falls asleep Peter is waking him up. Trying not to laugh, I proclaim: “… if I hear any more noise out of the Jedi, there will be no PS2 in the morning!” I manage to maintain a straight face.
The speed with which Peter and John have grown has led me to the conclusion that childhood is a very precious time for kids. Childhood is short; they deserve to have a great childhood. I am firmly convinced that the best outcome for children is achieved when parents put their own issues aside and focus on what is best for their children. If mum and dad can’t, for whatever reason, live under the same roof it does not change the fact that they are mum and dad.
In essence the problems with Child Support and Family Law will be solved by entrenching in New Zealand law: Equal parental rights and responsibilities and every Child’s right to be parented by both parents.
The current system is conflict based produing a winner and a loser. This does not serve the best interest of children; to suggest so is a failure to acknowledge the fundamental flaws in a conflict based Family law and Child Support System.
Real change that has its focus on the best outcome for kids is when mum and dad equally parent the children. This occurs as a norm in where mum and dad live under the same roof, both parents working together to equally parent a child, the child being parented by both parents.
The Jedi are still on their adventures saving the galaxy, a little quieter now. Be asleep soon I hope. Tomorrow’s the day of the birthday party; it’s going to be fun.
Extremes are dangerous things; they lead to the likes of fascism and war. Many have portrayed the struggle for equal parental rights as a battle between the genders. Please be clear this is not a gender defined issue, this is an issue about equal parental rights and responsibilities and every Child’s right to be parented by both parents.
The time has come when a long festering rebellion is growing. On the steps of Parliament in 2004 I was privileged to meet a young woman who had come to support the call of Men’s Convoy 2004 “Men on the Move for Child Support Reform”.
Anna asked what she could do to help, and I listened to her story.
Anna remembered a loving father who was taken from a young girl’s life. She had not seen her father for over a decade. He was reduced to a child support payment! This young woman could not understand why the Family Court evicted her father from her life. Anna loved dad!
This young woman is a member of the shattered generation produced by the archaic, adversarial English system of Family Law and the draconian application of a “one size fits all” Child Tax. (AKA Child Support)
If, as the spin-doctors have instructed successive Ministers to maintain, there is nothing wrong with the Child Support Act, why are paying fathers, receiving fathers, paying mothers, receiving mothers, Men’s groups, Women’s groups, Economists and Lawyers all calling for a review of the Act?
Peter and John are asleep at long last. The Jedi are resting before the birthday party tomorrow. It will be such fun. Mum’s arriving at 7:00am and then off to breakfast at McDonalds with the family. Their light sabres are off and they are sound asleep; no doubt dreaming of saving the galaxy.
Any Family Law System must be judged on the outcome it enables for families. Putting families into conflict is the norm of Family law in this country; it’s the whole basis of the system. This approach fails because children have parents evicted from there lives by Family Law.. One party becomes the custodial parent and the other party the non-custodial parent; one parent’s right to equally parent their children is severed by the stroke of a Judge’s pen.
This is wrong; it does not produce the best outcome for children.
For those who wish to spin doctor the merits of Family and Child Support law it would be good to remember: If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck and walks like a duck then it’s not a seagull.
Too many politicians, lawyers, bureaucrats and other vested interests have the seagull outlook, while parents see the dead duck. Those parents have had enough and a revolution is on the way.
In Auckland, Tauranga, Hamilton and Wellington the Fathers Coalition has been protesting outside Family Court lawyer’s homes. I all too well understand the frustration and pain these parents feel at the dismal failure of politicians to deliver real reform and remove the industry of misery produced by their impotency and cowardice. The reality is that consultation and Select Committees are a rubber stamp.A tick in the we have consulted box. Nothing has been done to correct the fundamental failings of Family and Child Support law in New Zealand. It’s not my type of protest, but I do empathise with the protestors.
The sound of sleeping children is music to a parent’s ears! The voices at 6am might not be such a pleasant symphony.
The State continues to ignore the plight of parents and children in favour of revenue collection and supporting institutions and organisations that have a culture of parental minimisation — Family Law and the Courts evict a parent and IRD assess a child tax. Kids lose a parent; parents lose a child and get billed for the privilege.
It is time to for politicians to accept that the Family and Child Support laws are failing our kids. No longer are parents prepared to accept a legally sanctioned policy of parental minimisation. This minimisation often leads to parental alienation. Simon Maude,appointed apologist for Lawyers, his lawyer mates the Family Law and Child Tax industry workers do not advocate for the best interest of children; they are paid professionals making a bloody good living in this Industry of Misery.
Too long has the current system been allowed to carry on! Parents are fed up with what is being inflicted upon our children. We will force political change. We will achieve Equal parental rights and responsibilities and every Child’s right to be parented by both parents entrenched in New Zealand law.
Parents for Children is about to begin a campaign. It will be an escalating campaign aiming to year after year increase the cost of collection of child support. It has been designed to be an attack on the IRD dogma of “voluntary compliance”. It will be an ongoing campaign that will continue until real reform has been won. The sleeping giant is awakening.
I tuck in the Jedi Knights, turn off the TV and smile.