When I was A Boy
As mentioned in my reply to Bevan’s post. When I was a kid I was free to break any bone in my body, lacerate any skin or muscle, and largely free to report any such damage to my parents….only if we ‘really’ needed to. But the damage had to be pretty bad before we brought the ‘oldies’ into it.
We were even kind’ve boy-racers in those days. The cars we had suffered serious mechanical problems which we would fix till the next occurred. We were driving at age 13 years!!! Where did we get the cars? Easy, they were cars our parents couldn’t fix, so we did.
We all did Sea Cadets and got whacked around the ears when we got stroppy. Went to school and got caned when we got stroppy.
I was the Takapuna Grammar School caning champion by the end of 1964. :–)) Man but I had a sore arse, but man, was I a hero or what?
Some of us got beaten by our parents, others got screwed by one or other of them. But we survived all this and have left it all where it properly belongs…in our yesterdays.
But we kids rarely stepped across the line of law….Yeah, yeah, I know, driving at 13 was illegal…..But in those days nobody really cared that much, so long as we weren’t creating mayhem.
In 1962 I signed on as crew with a solo male, on a small keel boat. He and I spent several years exploring the Hauraki gulf. Well, fair to say, I explored, he knew it like the back of his hand.
But he was a solo male. I was a kid. We often spent a week or more on his boat. Imagine the tattle such would garner now, when every male is a sexual predator and every female and CYFS operative live in fear of anal integrity.
BTW: Sid never had the slightest inclination. I was just his crew.
This man’s yacht had no motor. In those days a sailor could sail. You wanted to get into a bay, or onto a mooring, or into a wharf or marina, you sailed. You didn’t turn on a convenient motor. In fact, if you owned a sail-boat with a motor you would never have been allowed to enter the yacht club.
Consquently, old Sid taught me all he knew; and that was heaps. I got out of line then a whack around the ears was the solution. Did I complain? Nope. I just made sure I got less out of line because old Sid had a fearsome backhand.:–))
Today, as a result of just that man’s teachings, there is not one bay in the entire Hauraki Gulf which I cannot sail into, bereft of motor, lights, radar, or any other fancy device, and safely anchor.
I was in the process of teaching my grand-daughter these same arts till those vile women from the CYFSterhood stepped in to tell all who will listen that I am actually a danger to her.
But there is so much more practicality which the men and women taught us all when we were kids. Even today I can sew my own clothes, I can darn a sock, I can cook as well as most ‘average’ chefs.
Before the CYFSterhood stepped in to ruin things, many of my girl’s contemporaries would ask her, ‘How can he (me) let you do those things? They are so dangerous!’
Her answer? ‘It’s fun.’
The last expedition saw us (she’s coming up 13) leaping off a 300ft West Coast cliff, on single ropes, to go look for ancient Maori burial caves. And if you think that’s ho hum, then any of you are free to come try it out some day.
But my girl just sucks up the fear and does it, because she, like me, is an adrenalin junkie; high on life and free to die if that is her fate.
Dangerous my arse. Life is dangerous. That’s what makes it fun. These are things to which every kid should be exposed, to lay the foundations for dealing with life as it comes at us.
But, you see, the ‘danger’ they(The CYFSterhood) worry so much about is the ‘sexual’ danger a single male repreesents. Apparently, I do all I do for my grand-daughter because I am grooming her for nefarious sexual desires.
Oh yes, that all makes sense. ‘Jane! (not her real name) Please jump off this cliff so you will feel more prepared to allow me to have sex with you.’
‘Jane, I want you to have a go at flying a glider so that you will feel so beholding to me that I will be able to have my evil way with you.’
‘Jane. I think it’s time for you to start piano lessons, competition swimming lessons, art classes, flying tuition, motor-bike riding…and it’s about time you learned to drive my car, cook, sew, and generally get on. I’m sorry my dear. But you also must understand I am doing all this for you so that you will become my sexual tool.’
That all makes sense? Doesn’t it?
And these idiots at CYFS believe their own machinations!!! Sick bitches!
It’s no wonder that so few men want to get involved with children.
Cheers
David.
Footnote: How will you twist the foregoing, Lizzie Curtis of the CYsterhood, West Auckland? What about you, sad little Wendy Hardinge? And you, Anna Palmer. Will you cull the bits which advance your case, and bring these to court, as you have done so far? Will you loathesome little trio have the courage? I hope you do.
And what about you, Shona de Luen? Will you also take parts of the foregoing, as you have taken so much and twisted it to suit your own sick requirements, and attempt to twist this as well?
Will you further repudiate you fiduciary responsibility to your client (my Jane) by demanding what you think is right for her?
Will you destroy her just to win?
We all know that you and your sick sisters monitor this site.
Fill your boots. There are many more moves before this chess game is over and you all get Kinged. You vile crones.
Well said, give or take a little poetic licence!
I was raised as a timid wus, a booky pale skinned pommie kid in Greymouth. I got braver as I got older. My children found their own boundaries, then encouraged ME to try things!
My eldest son got me abseiling at an outfit where he was an instructor. I was boasting about how brave I was to my little crippled daughter, and she laughed at me! “What? I asked- have you been abseiling?” “Yes heaps” she replied- “I’ve even abseiled in my wheelchair!”
Then of course there were the harpies from CYPS
(Names withheld) who tried to make me into a peodophile.
The ‘poor little cripple’ had the COURAGE to tell the truth, and to resist the subtle, persistant persuasion, leading questions and trickery. She had the courage to resist being turned into a ‘Victim’.
She is now lovely, confident young woman, she is a Scientist at Europe’s leading research facility, and a friend.
I have learnt that I have to forget all about my grandchildren, who have been sucked into this sick vortex of benefit dependancy, solo mum families, serial ‘father-figures’crime and delinquency. IF I EVER MET THEM I KNOW WOULD BE ACCUSED AGAIN OF SEX-CRIMES, AND THE CYPS WOULD DIG UP MY ‘HISTORY’ AND ALL THEIR PARANIOC SUSPICIONS ABOUT ME.
Most child abusers in New Zealand are on Government salaries, call themselves by wonderful titles, and are still in denila about their guilt.
Comment by John Brett — Mon 17th April 2006 @ 6:12 pm
I will NEVER ‘forget’ about my Grand-Daughter. I will fight with every last ounce of my resources, and will never give in.
I have no intention of allowing the CYFSterhood, or any other third party, to destroy that which I and my girl have worked so hard to build.
This child is one of the most extraordinary humans I have ever met. Her tolerance for adversity knows no bounds. Her understanding of human frailty is far beyond anything I have witnessed in many adults…and she’s just 13 years old.
Her committment to tasks is so self-driven it embarrasses me.
Her courage under fire evokes similar emotion.
One day, this child will lead a portion of this world, and will do so in a way which will make it so much better. And there is no way in the world am I going to allow the trash-minds of the CYFSterhood to in any way diminish her progress.
Obviously you all have no idea of the nature and quality of my girl, but I’m an educated man, and I can see a Mozart, a Sister Teresa, a Kennedy in her. It’s an indefinable quality. It’s something which cannot be forced. It can be only nurtured. But it exists.
This child, given her head, her freedom, and her security, will make her mark for all maniind. I just know this to be true.
Believe me, in this child there are the makings of greathood. I don’t know how she will do it. In fact I have no way of forecasting. All I know is, this child, given her freedom to be, will be some sort of Moses.
These idiots from the CYFSterhood assert we are codependant. What they cannot ingest into their vile little minds is that I live in awe of this child.
They cannot…don’t want to see…that I am simply the guardian till the wings of this child fill.
And when they do, oh my.
Yeah, yeah. I know. You read all this as blah. But it’s not. This child is special. Her teachers know it, I know it. Her friends know it, even her dumb mother has a mild understanding of it.
And I will not let the CYFSterhood destroy that potential.
David.
Comment by dpex — Mon 17th April 2006 @ 6:42 pm
Amazing dpex.
That’s exactly how I feel about my little daughter who was 12 when the battles started.
She has conquered Cerebal Palsy, Beaten CYFS, won the Catherine Mansfield young writers award, Gained a double degree (science and computing) Gone out and earned a stash of money before following her star overseas. She now is a researcher at CERN where they are trying to understand the hand of God in crearing the Universe, (Whilst having a whole heap of fun, and building a world-wide fan club) Like you, I have been i awe of this girl since she was little.
Sadly I do not know my grandchildren- and probably never will. Perhaps similar genes will be there- or maybe not. I just don’t know how to reach out through the “Shit-barrier” of dirty minded, jealous, hatefilled people who surround them.
Comment by John Brett — Mon 17th April 2006 @ 6:55 pm
Go to her Brett.
Wait not one second longer. Go to her by any means.
If you have a clear heart and clear conscience, wait not one second more. Go to her.
If you have not a clear conscience, go to her anyway.
Any man who can feel the love you feel can be forgiven, and your girl has the right to allow you forgiveness. No other person has the right to intercede. No thought or idea of even yours may intercede. It is your girl only who has the absolute authority to accept or deny.
Go to her Brett. Tell her of your love. Your frailties, should they exist, will be speckles of sand in a vast desert in comparison to your love.
Go to her Brett. Tell her of your love and allow that telling to exalt.
David.
Comment by dpex — Mon 17th April 2006 @ 7:10 pm
You ask – “Will you destroy her just to win? ”
The answer sadly is yes. The political principle regardless of what they say about the welfare of the child is not about your view of the welfare of the child. Their view of the welfare of the child is keep any male at the greatest distance, that can possible be obtained. Let me put it to you this way – Could you imagine any one of these (persons) knocking on a fathers door and saying hey dad do you think you could give us a hand raising this child. I’ll answer for them. That’ll be a cold day in hell.
The only time these people should ever be associated with family, is when the word precedes notices in the newspaper. Even if no one claims them, the state would still pay.
Comment by Bevan Berg — Mon 17th April 2006 @ 10:39 pm
It never cease to amaze me how completely stupid some of these damn women are, that they cant see our kids need male role models.
They say our sons and daughters are at risk purely because we are men, but they are so shortsighted that cannot see the greater risk is bringing up kids without men and disipline in their lives.
If I was a kid again (sigh) I would want both parents in my lives. Yeah, I got hidings from both parents when I did wrong. But I deserved it. I got the strap from both but I feared the strap from Dad more then mum or my teachers.
I learned right from wrong, from both mum and dad and my teachers. I reckon had I not been punished then, I would have turned out to be a bad kid, a bad teenager and a bad adult.
How can the women of today be so bloody stupid??
We need our kids to trust family, to obey when thay are asked to do tasks, some of which are for their own safety and protection, as well as having fun.
Comment by Morris Lindsay — Mon 17th April 2006 @ 10:53 pm
Is it that we are just not used to holding women to account for their failings. Perhaps it is not in our biology, and they walk on a different level of responsibility and accountability.
Comment by Bevan Berg — Tue 18th April 2006 @ 12:38 am
dpex- I don’t understand your comment- you didn’t read what I wrote!
1 Please call me John- using my surname seems a little too formal
2 Go to her? Have done, did do, all cool, always was! (Damned the torpedos!)
3 My isue is with the lost grandchildren.
4 Of what or whom do I beg forgiveness? Read the book of Job where Job asks God what he has done wrong.
Comment by John Brett — Tue 18th April 2006 @ 8:29 am
It’s such a shame that this CYFS outfit can have so much power and be so intrusive into our lives and the relationships we have with our children.
The actions they take and the fear they now strike into us that makes us hesitate to take our children on adventures we as children experienced is inhumane.
The positions and power to do what they do should surely require that they are trained in Psychology to the point where they can properly differentiate between those who will be a danger and those who will not.
Sadly, this is not the case.
Also, the police say they would rather find guilty innocent Men, and catch the guilty as well, rather that let a few of guilty go free.
This is the thinking (and therefore the actions) of people of limited intellect. They don’t have the intellegence to properly determine who is at fault, so they wipe everyone out, and then have the nerve to go on to boast how great they think they are.
Comment by Moose — Wed 19th April 2006 @ 12:10 am
That Moose, is precisely one line used against me in Family Court:
‘Surely it lesser of an evil to deny a father a parental relationship with his children if there is even the smallest chance that those children were ever to be sexually abused by that father’
Such an argument denies having to address whether there is any real basis to determining whether the father is a risk, because there is not one of us alive that would not agree to the reverse logic.
Comment by Al D Rado — Wed 19th April 2006 @ 6:51 pm
That ‘one-line’ is a part of the culture which is slowly killing our children.
It’s all to do with absolute safety. It is better, in the minds of the bureaucrats, to stop all people swimming in the sea than have one person drown. It is better to have all people stop breathing lest one should ingest some terrible spore.
It is better to have all fathers consigned to the ranks of paedophile lest just one gets through the net.
It is the ‘safety’ culture which we must change.
In 1948 the British Air Traffic control ‘industry’ asserted that all passenger carrying aircraft must be absolutely safe. They completely ignored the fact that any human, dropping from just sixty feet would hit terminal velocity and be turned into hamburger.
Now we have public playgrounds which few children wish to use because they are all under a metre off the ground. So they get bored, bitch at their parents to buy Grand Theft Auto just to get some excitement.
And so, there we are. I think I just found the nub of the problem. It’s the safety industry. All children must be kept safe even if, in doing so, the CYFSterhood harm them.
Cheers
David.
Comment by dpex — Wed 19th April 2006 @ 7:32 pm
Exactly, and with the current, and growing hype about how all Males are paedophiles, violent etc this (somehow) gives that insidious train of thought of CYFS and the family courts to justify thier misandric rulings.
As a child I thought how great it was that we could continually improve as a society by learning from our mistakes, helping each other and learning from ourselves. I looked forward to growing up and being able to contribute to (my now wishful) ‘society of wisdom’ if you please.
Yet here we are with a bunch of people who, each election, are more insidious and relentless than the last in thier quests for power at the expense of society.
As a result I feel as if I am now an expendable liability to society because I am a Man, and from the instant I was born, I was guilty – just waiting for the imminent day where it is unjustly proven on behalf of some flawed law.
I digress…
Yes – I fully agree that the ‘one-line’ is a result of the antipathic attitude now taken towards towards Mens rights in society now.
It is utterly unacceptable to take this lazy attitude towards the wellbeing of us Men. It is the same attitude taken toward a group of foul with suspected ‘Bird Flu’ ; Kill ’em all – just in case. They’re only animals.
Comment by Moose — Fri 21st April 2006 @ 12:41 am
I meant “It is the same attitude taken toward a group of fowl”
Comment by Moose — Fri 21st April 2006 @ 12:50 am
John Brett says “What have I done” and everyone else blames CYFS for somehow him acting like an idiot with an anger problem.
Lets see .. yes i Distinctly recall seeing you dad (John Brett) kissing my 13 year old sister(Yes the handicapped one) on the neck whilst she was sitting on your lap . And then making the comment “You have a very kissable neck. Oh look you’re getting breasts now, you’re growing up’.
And then there was the time i did decide to forgive you for you previous behavior, when everyone was CALMLY disgussing a problem and you suddenly stood up, THREW your coffee mug down onto the ground, smashing it, and sending shards everwhere, which cut several people. You then proceeded to tell everyone you were right and they were all wrong yelling and swearing up a storm then took off. That was the last time i saw you.
And you have the Gall to ask ‘What have i done wrong?’
You dont know your grandchildren because you act like some 3rd world barbarian. My children dont need violence like that.
Regarding your comment in http://menz.org.nz/2006/being-gentle-men/ – did you even bother to ask your children before saying that they all agree? I think not.
To everyone else, I apolagise for anything offensive in this post. I just get sick of JB acting all innocent and hard done by. I do not hate him. I just choose to live without the hassle. And for the record, I agree that CYFS are a bunch of prats 🙂
Comment by Liz — Wed 21st February 2007 @ 5:22 pm