I want to share some some attitudes and beleifs that have helped me through the issues that most of us have in common

Firstly as farthers we are? responsible for our children and their ability to cope with the world around them, It is the only legacy we will leave behind that will have any impact on their lives. It is a fathers duty to instill in their children a sense of fair play, self controll and duty. The best of what the male of the species has to offer. I think it is true to say that after we’ve had our obligatory heart attacks our childrens? memory of us will be of the times and experiences that we shared with them.

Provided? we are not predisposed to? an unhealthy attraction to drugs, alcohol and or aggression we are in a good position to contibute possitively to our kids upbringing.? Consequently I have been at as loss to understand how we have been reduced to a cash cow and? nothing else. The demands placed on us from the kids mothers and child support seem to be almost exlusively of a financial nature.?

This is about when I and many others I have spoken with decided it was time for a holiday, 5 years in my case, most of which was spent trying to get my ex wife to agree to reasonable access to my son. In between phone calls, lawer meetings and court dates I spent my time snowboarding, trout fishing, playing my guitar and xbox,? earning just enough money to meet my needs and stay on the child support minimum payment. Petty? you may ask, possibly, but incredibly liberating. I can tell you that an untimely stress related death? or impending suiside were both postponed indefinately. Im sure if my kids new they would think it was time well spent. The other advantage was? when the family court granted me access on my terms, my son and I had new experiences to share. Oddly neither my son nor myself were any worse of financialy than if i had worked? fulltime and paid more in child support.

The other issue I would like to touch on is abusive or controlling ex partners. Rememer you no longer have any obligation? to these people. If they cant treat you with respect, the solution is simple say goodbye hang up and call a lawyer,? some are genuine, sure they cost money but you? and your kids are worth it,? and? at least you made the desision to spend it and there are reasonable ears in the familly court.

Cheers.