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Avoid Relationship Services

Filed under: General — Ministry of Men's Affairs @ 3:54 pm Thu 17th April 2008

I issue a general warning to avoid Relationship Services. I had an unpleasant experience with a fat feminasty counsellor there who would or could not answer clearly my questions about the circumstances in which she would breach confidentiality. She then accused me of being a controlling male abuser (although no assessment or information about me had even taken place) and refused to work further with me and my ex. This was in counselling funded by the Family Court.

Since then I have had several clients who approached Relationship Services in good faith but had confidentiality breached even though there was no imminent danger to anyone. The Tauranga branch seems more interested in being social police aiming to prosecute men for anything they might ever have done wrong, than in helping their clients.


  1. Hi Hans,
    My ex tells me the same story from some distance counseling done with Relationships Sevices Tauranga and their Porirua branch. The chap in Porirua was fine and sought concilliation. When we sent the proposals to Tauranga nothing happened nand my ex informed me that the woman at Ralationship services Tauranga basically instructed her to tell me (us as iot was the Porirua counsellor who wrote the stuff up) to stuff off. In the end we agreed on the changes at Court Mediation exactly as proposed so I blame the woman at Relationship services totally for the protracting of matters.


    Comment by allan Harvey — Thu 17th April 2008 @ 5:25 pm

  2. I don’t think that’s the same everywhere.
    When my husband and his ex went to counselling in Dunedin,the counsellor told him that his ex was the most nasty piece of works that she had ever met.

    Comment by rosie — Thu 17th April 2008 @ 10:01 pm

  3. The Tauranga branch seems to have alot of people saying bad things about it…

    When my court case first stared I was living in Tauranga, the case is in Palmerston North, I had one session, at Relationship services in Tauranga, where the “counsellor” basicly told me what my ex was wanting, and asked if I agreed with it, I said no, and she basicly tried to tell me, well you need to agree to this, and this, and when she asked what I wanted, even for the intruim, (I didnt want to say ill settle for this, or that, for the intruim, as I see that as the court will see, well hes settled for that once before, im sure hell settle for that in the end…) and all I said was I want full day to day care, on the following grounds.

    I thought the first session was ment to be to help get any anamosity, etc out of the way, by using a “counselling process” before moving on to trying to come to an agreement in the 2nd and 3rd sessions.

    I never got contacted by relationship services again, however I know for a fact that my ex, had 3 sessions.

    Comment by nzleagle — Fri 18th April 2008 @ 3:57 am

  4. Have you made a written complaint, to Relationship Services or to the Ministry Of Social Development (who I assume provide the bulk of funding to Relationship Services)?
    Funders effectively purchase the right, to put pressure onto the recipient of the funding, or put another way, the recipient has sold their freedom to resist pressure.
    The British TV programme Yes Minister shows these issues clearly and with humour.
    It seems that Ministry of Social Development has this sort of effect on many of the recipients of its largess.
    If you don’t have financial independence, then when push comes to shove, you cannot afford to act with integrity.
    I am guessing that MSD might take any such complaints as a compliment!
    You can only have as much integrity, as you have independent financial strength.
    Therefore, the remedy can only lie in putting politicians that you trust into the next Parliament.
    This manipulation through funding control, reminds me of the closed familycaught management of the list of approved psychologists and of counsellors.
    In more generalised language, we have conflicts of interest which can be managed through open accountability, or through closed and hidden management where the parties are free to take full advantage of the conflict of interest, to gain personal or tactical or political advantage.
    Sheep and apatharians seem to get taken advantage of, everywhere that you look.
    Best regards, MurrayBacon.

    Comment by MurrayBacon — Tue 22nd April 2008 @ 7:39 pm

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