MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

My Fathers Day

Filed under: Child Support — Tigerseye @ 1:53 pm Mon 8th September 2008

This is an excerpt from a poem I wrote last year at about this time…




There was a time in my life

A small selfish part of me

I couldn’t imagine being called dad

I would cringe, turn and flee


There was a time in my life

A period of my youth gone wild

I thought there was something up there

And now I know it’s at me it smiled


Hung with my history and partial dishonour

Embarrassed from childhood antics

I learned without lessons taught

Frightened by certain manics


Like an arrow loosed on my hearts target

My unknown dreams come true

I stepped up to life’s hitting plate

And became one of the lucky few


With a picture of my daughter in my mind

Something so pure and true and right

The apple of my eye she is

The thought of her makes my future bright


She is the gift I was given

She is a learning curve for dad

A goal to defend with pride

Even the worst time with her ain’t bad


It’s selfish to think that it’s my fortune

My ego can get in the way at times

My thanks should go to her mother

Even just to stop my girl going over the lines


My words of gratitude go forth

To her that cares for my peach

A heart of kindness I know for her

Though keeps my girl almost out of reach


  1. That’s so lovely, hang in there and don’t give up. My partner kept at it and now has 50/50 parenting with his little girl and to see them together is absolutely heart-warming. Little girls love their Dads – I hope one day she gets to spend the time with you, you each deserve.

    Comment by AnnieB — Mon 8th September 2008 @ 3:02 pm

  2. My sentiments for my Daughters MUM are similar to those you write – We have been good fiends for most of our now 37 years.

    In fact without her love and support in the lonely times and the hard fights to give my Son his Father I probably would have given up.

    A few in the so called Mens Movement helped heaps and still do. But most mutter while the Govt of the day screwed me and 100’s of other Dads. Not even bothering to write letters to MP’s about the sexist regrime deep within bureacracy as we have discovered it.

    However as for my Sons Mother – No Way – She has used my Son, Me, NZLaw and NZSocial Policy, her Religious mates to the max and so far got clean away with it . Even praised

    I don’t beleive we should honour women for the God given gift they have to bear Children

    We should honour them if they are good Parents which they can’t do unless they honour the man who gave his essence as an Equal Parent. Residing together or not

    Onward – Jim

    Comment by Jim Bailey — Mon 8th September 2008 @ 6:58 pm

  3. I am sure that most men having experienced what we have , are doing small things about our situation, Jim, we need actions on all fronts. Writing to MPs, to me , will never achieve anything, neither will peaceful protests.

    Comment by martin swash — Mon 8th September 2008 @ 11:20 pm

  4. I agree Jim.
    I hate it when people try to manipulate or damage other people’s relationships (apart from protecting innocent children).

    Good parents want their children to get the best that both parents can offer and most mothers and fathers are like this.

    Only insecure fathers or mothers try to block access of their children to the other parent. Usually these parents are also lacking parenting skills, as well as confidence.

    We should honour them if they are good Parents which they can’t do unless they honour the man who gave his essence as an Equal Parent. Residing together or not

    It is scary that the familycaught support these (mainly 85%) mothers, who block access to the other parent. In their jealousy of the relationship between their child and their spouse, they are prepared to vandalise the other parent’s relationship.

    It appears the the familycaught are so bent on supporting custodial parents (or just milking their customers until dry), that they neglect to carefully weigh the evidence and take proper care of the children.

    A few judges in UK and USA will reverse custody, in these parental alienation situations. I believe it has happened in NZ, a very very small number of times. Constructive action, taken early, has a better chance to restore a sharing relationship, than supporting the abusive parent (but is less profitable for the assorted legal workers).

    Example published by Judge Boshier (but now hidden again!):
    Kay Skelton abused access orders repeatedly, through several familycaught orders. While the familycaught continued to support her breaches of familycaught orders, she continued to escalate the degree of breach. She showed clearly that the familycaught judges are just monkeys, well dressed. Maybe, to be polite, I could call them clowns?

    It is interesting that Judge Boshier’s honesty, was later declared to be in breach of the law! This honesty was the biggest contribution to demonstrating whether good quality discipline helps to lead to more desirable behaviour. The Kay Skelton debacle certainly showed that failure to impose discipline can lead to extended abuse and bad behaviour. The bad behaviour got worse and worse, until it was so destructive, that even the “unwilling to see evidence” had to face the reality of what was being done to this poor child.

    I suggest that it also hints that if judges did their job properly, then children would be far better protected from abuse and abduction.

    Evidence is valuable, for protecting children and justice.

    Cheers, MurrayBacon.

    Comment by MurrayBacon — Mon 8th September 2008 @ 11:35 pm

  5. Murray,

    Let me open your assessment of the situation further

    As you have said above;

    **I suggest that it also hints that if judges did their job properly, then children would be far better protected from abuse and abduction.**

    If ALL Govt agencies, NZLaw and NZSocial Policy did their-/-its job as their tittles suggest,our Families would be strong and not effected by the odd set of Parents separating.

    Most tittles are Spin Doctored lies in order to hide their real task of Family Destruction.
    Judges are merely a part of that massive World-Wide lie.

    In fact how many would/did separate before Govt induced separation existed?

    Onward – Jim

    Comment by Jim Bailey — Tue 9th September 2008 @ 4:03 am

  6. Martin,

    If most men were doing small actions the Govt would not have the power it has to destroy our Families thru the many agencies it has developed.

    Onward – Jim

    Comment by Jim Bailey — Tue 9th September 2008 @ 4:06 am

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

Please note that comments which do not conform with the rules of this site are likely to be removed. They should be on-topic for the page they are on. Discussions about moderation are specifically forbidden. All spam will be deleted within a few hours and blacklisted on the stopforumspam database.

This site is cached. Comments will not appear immediately unless you are logged in. Please do not make multiple attempts.

Skip to toolbar