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Mother loses custody for alienating dad

Filed under: General — Julie @ 11:04 pm Tue 3rd February 2009

In a stunning and unusual family law decision, a Toronto judge has stripped a mother of custody of her three children after the woman spent more than a decade trying to alienate them from their father.

The mother’s “consistent and overwhelming” campaign to brainwash the children into thinking their father was a bad person was nothing short of emotional abuse, Justice Faye McWatt of the Superior Court of Justice wrote in her decision.

This is a major turn around for fathers since feminists have continually denied that PAS exists. PAS stands for Parental Alienation Syndrome and it is very hard on the children and fathers. Many of NZ adult addicts have a story to tell how hard it was living through their parents break up and how their parents fought over them. And many have lived destructive lives because they suffer from one parent alienating them from the other.

A new study has found that mothers are the gatekeepers to fathers involvement in parenting. This study is important as a way for women to have less parental responsibility so they can work.

Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan, co-author of the study and assistant professor of human development and family science at Ohio State University says, “Mothers are in the driver’s seat.” They are the ones who determine the overall quality of the couple’s parenting relationship.

In addition, fathers’ beliefs about how involved they should be in child care did not matter when mothers were highly critical of fathers’ parenting. In other words, fathers didn’t put their beliefs into practice when faced with a particularly judgmental mother.

The study shows that the opposite is what determines fathers involvement. Encouragement from mothers is the best solution to bringing equality for women. Not putting them down.

The study also concludes that fathers and mothers do struggle with the old set of roles parents have had to play and that women can think having the father playing a more hands on role is stepping into her domain. This is a sad part of women’s equality. Men have had to accept women coming into the workforce which was considered their domain in the past.

The case in Canada is a sad truth for many fathers who feel their ex partners are wanting to not just cut ties with the ex but with the children also as if fathers can just simply walk away from their flesh and blood while expected to hand over a % of their income every week for up to 19 years. And all the while fathers are being called deadbeats by the state MPs, women’s groups and the media. I don’t think mothers would cope with a country turning on them this way either.

All I can say is well done to the female judge.

Judge McWatt stipulated that the mother is to have no access to the children except in conjunction with counselling, including a special intensive therapy program for children affected by “parental alienation syndrome,” which the mother must pay for.

Harold Niman, the father’s lawyer, said the decision serves as a wake-up call to parents who, “for bitterness, anger or whatever reason,” decide to use their children to punish their former partners.

“Maybe if they realize the courts will actually step in and do something and there is a risk of not only losing custody, but having no contact with their children, they’ll think twice about it,” Niman said in an interview.

The judge said awarding A.L. sole custody was the children’s only hope for having a relationship with their father, given their mother’s long-running transgressions.

These include ignoring court orders, shutting the door in A.L.’s face when he came to collect the children and refusing to answer the phone when he called to say goodnight. (He was granted telephone access to say good night on Monday, Wednesday and Friday). At times, she also arranged for police to show up when her daughters had overnight visits with their father.

Eventually, K.D. cut off contact altogether, refusing to allow A.L. to see or speak with his daughters. He was reduced to shouting goodnight to them through the door of their home, often not knowing whether they were there.


  1. Hallelujah !! Can we club together and buy the front page of The Herald & Dominion for a week and put this post on it ? This is the reality that 98% of New Zealnder fathers don’t see until they are being f**ked over in Court by sychophantic, spineless ‘lawyers’ who only want to feather their own nest …

    Comment by Blocky — Fri 6th February 2009 @ 3:10 am

  2. why does nobody help us in NZ ? THERE IS A GREAT GREAT INJUSTICE and nobody is doing anything

    Comment by OnceInALifeTime — Fri 6th February 2009 @ 7:15 am

  3. The NZ Family Court is at least 90 years behind this whole concept.
    The NZ Family Court will do everything in it’s power to avoid acknowledging a female parent is being obstructive.

    Comment by Dave — Thu 19th February 2009 @ 7:46 pm

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