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A departing French ambassador to New Zealand…

Filed under: General — Vman @ 3:46 pm Wed 14th July 2010

Dating New Zealand Women

A departing French ambassador to New Zealand once commented at the end of his stay in the country that New Zealand women lacked elegance, complaining that they dressed only in black and ‘walk like soldiers’. That was a bit cruel, though it’s true you won’t see many Kiwi women prancing around with poodles.

In terms of exotic good looks, it’s still not Venezuela, although especially with the changing ethnic mix, there are plenty of attractive women around. Even better, many are paranoid that they’re facing a ‘man drought’, a 10% gender imbalance in the 25-39 age group identified by statisticians — maybe due to all the male Kiwi backpackers who fell in love with overseas women who smiled at them.

New Zealand women despair of the diffidence displayed by local men, but they aren’t very impressed with flowery, Latin-style romancing either. They tend to prefer guys who are politely assertive (such as North Americans) or have a roguish charm (such as the Irish).

They are often comfortable with making the first move, although, as with their male compatriots, a tequila or three certainly helps to smooth the way.

In a relationship, a New Zealand woman will expect to be treated as an equal and will be impatient with excessive machismo or overt signs of possessiveness


  1. Add on google search:

    Naughty New Zealand Wives
    Husband Out For Work: You In For
    Naughty Pleasure! Join For Free.

    Comment by Dave — Wed 14th July 2010 @ 4:15 pm

  2. An American forum describes New Zealand as a “Graveyard for men”

    Comment by Dave — Wed 14th July 2010 @ 5:38 pm

  3. Wow, Dave. I actually did kind of wonder what dating was like in NZ, and I was particularly curious about the demographics (male:female ratio). It is kind of alarming that interaction almost seems to depend upon alcohol. I hate to say it, but as I’ve commented in other posts, the US is pretty bad for Generation X – we’re a small generation; only about one-seventh of the entire adult population. So, whether you’re male or female, meeting a member of the opposite sex is improbable. Romance is even more improbable. I had actually considered escaping to NZ to see if my prospects improve. Guess I won’t be doing that. Thanx.

    Comment by Darryl — Thu 15th July 2010 @ 11:49 am

  4. Although there is a man drought in NZ you will not find that reflected in the way women behave. In fact you’d be forgiven for assuming women are a rare commodity given they way they behave towards men and dating.
    Dating should not be confused with sex in NZ. NZ women are happy to sleep around. They have little to loose. If they fall pregnant they are set-up for 19 years. If they have a career, there is the morning after pill and abortions are easy and free.

    Obesity is not nearly as bad as in the USA except for the polynesian population. So if you are looking for white and single then chances are a NZ woman will have a better physique than an American. She will definitely not be as loud and obnoxious.
    At first she will not be as materialistic. She has probably travelled or wants to travel or at least more likely to be aware of the wider world in general. She is more likely to want to go outdoors and do something active. She is likely to be able to get ready in half an hour – not take 3 hours to get dressed to go to dinner.

    Apart from that I am running out of positive things to say about dating NZ women. Individually you can find gems in any population.

    I don’t want to write a book on the negatives. The thing is that NZ is a far more feminist and socialist country than the USA. This is why the man drought has occurred. Now it exists, NZ women are not changing their attitudes towards men. Hence although the ratio is in your favour the quality and outcomes are not.

    Comment by Dave — Thu 15th July 2010 @ 1:58 pm

  5. There is one other thing. NZ chicks generally have a sense of entitlement that overrides everything, including the law. Certainly your wallet. They tell you they want to be treated as an equal but expect to be treated as a royal.

    Comment by glenn — Thu 15th July 2010 @ 2:07 pm

  6. I definitely agree with your observation about American women being “loud and obnoxious”. I can expand on that and say violent, too. Very violent. Not just my personal experience of being stabbed and poisoned, but also the experience of other men and a huge volume of data collected and analyzed in compliance with the Scientific Method. Also, it’s good to know that NZ women like to get out and don’t take so long to do it. As far as sense of entitlement goes, that’s a big problem in the US, too – it’s part of the pathology associated with malignant narcissism and psychopathy. Don’t forget manipulative, deceiptful, insincere, disingenuous, lazy, self-serving, and lacking empathy. Personally, I do not like to sleep with women as sport and do not like women who have reduced sex to sport and sleep around themselves. I know some men and women like this and if it’s your thing, I don’t impose my values on others and I certainly don’t judge. However, I do understand that sex is addicting (the neurotransmitters), particularly for women, whose behavior is not mitigated by as much thought. And like any addiction, it requires more and more to satisfy it. That’s why I prefer sex in little doses, with a huge infrastructure to support a couple when things get out of control. For me, I am a one woman kind of guy. I never even thought of another woman but my wife for eight years. And I haven’t dated or slept with another woman for the last three and a half. Maybe that’s too much information. Instead, I have immersed myself in my writing and research. As a man, I require the emotional stability of the relationship with a woman (good luck with that) before sex because without it, sex doesn’t hold much interest for me. There really does need to be an intellectual connection too, sharing information and genuine interaction. I know the stereo-type of men screwing anything that moves, but I think that applies more toward women than men (women have just always misrepresented it). I believe that most men really are in relationships for the long-term, both for the stability a long-term relationship offers for them and their children. And when viewed in the context of threat by rotating polyandry, I think men certainly prefer long-term relationships as ways of protecting their children. It’s much easier to protect and nurture children when you are part of a stable family unit that has been together a long time. When women run around (rotating polyandry), it is destabilizing and hurts the children. But also, as I explained, just from a male-female relationship perspective, I prefer one woman. Heck, if you’re not investing all your efforts in one another, then it’s not much of a relationship. That kind of relationship is very rewarding. Sleeping around for me isn’t rewarding, and it’s too bad most women think that is a productive investment of their time and effort. As I’ve mentioned in other posts, I think it comes down to men being possessed more of an internal locus and being able to endure the ups and downs of a long-term relationship, where women can’t endure the ups and downs of a long-term relationship and prefer the control and power their sexuality affords them in short-term relationships. I’d be curious about your thoughts. Women are a collective. They are herd animals and not possessed much of independent or objective thought. So, long term relationships for them are stifling, without an internal locus to drive them and so many bad women telling them that a long-term relationship is slavery for them – even though it is just the opposite and they benefit more in every practical way from a long-term relationship.

    Comment by Darryl X — Thu 15th July 2010 @ 11:25 pm

  7. And your right, I do distinguish dating from sex. I’ve never had a “one-night-stand” and have never had sex with a woman I was not courting for an extended period of time and didn’t think I knew well and didn’t expect to be with for the long-term. As I’ve discovered, chances are most women are not similarly disposed and were probably sleeping around. Some might think that I am a sucker, but I think those circumstances reflect much more negatively upon them than me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a very sexual guy, but not irresponsible about it the way many women and some men are. The neurotransmitters associated with sex and sex should be indulged with as much care as any illicit and greatly addicting drug.

    Comment by Darryl X — Thu 15th July 2010 @ 11:35 pm

  8. Well all of the commenters problems above is their need to generalise and stereotype.

    Focus on why you have this need. I never meant to be celibate for 3 years myself, I just chose better, and celibacy ended up being the result. My estranged spouse, other biological parent of the 3 children I stayed focused on, was to turn up unannounced 3 years later, and actually referred to me as his spouse, and his children as his children, having been shacked up with a young-sex-mate for ALL this time.

    Stats say that a third of marriages end in divorce, with 43% of divorces involving children. Mostly, most parents are selfish, because those stats were just for one year.

    Comment by Celibate 3 years — Sat 24th July 2010 @ 8:54 pm

  9. NZ women prefer ‘assertive’ Americans or ‘rougish’ Irish ???

    Someone ought to write new words to ‘Amazing Grace’.

    “Amazing taste, how three-sheets to the wind you are…”

    Comment by amfortas — Thu 29th July 2010 @ 7:27 pm

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