MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

Does Respect Deliver Dividends?

Filed under: General — MurrayBacon @ 1:48 pm Mon 10th May 2010

I have enjoyed watching MENZ recently become more positively oriented and a big drop in destructive criticism. I value this greatly, as the destructive fights that have occurred deter many knowledgeable people from taking part in debates and offering their experience.

Purely destructive fights also tend to devalue the material on this site, to casual readers. The destructive fights have often occurred between people, who are substantially in agreement, but will fight for mutual image annihilation, over trivial points and misunderstandings. A private EMAIL can defuse such potential disputes, rather than washing dirty linen in public.

What do people want, to move forward, or to destroy their own mates reputations?

I am not sure if this improvement is due to more active and stringent moderation, or to a lift in the spirits of people who contribute?

I don’t deny that a pressure cooker style steam release valve is valuable for many people. I have needed it many times.

However, if we hope to have a collective voice with a little public influence, then respect being given is a necessary foundation.

If we cannot help solve the other guy’s problem, then the other guy isn’t going to allow our problem to be solved.

I applaud Dave, Hans Laven, Scrap and the other creative, active contributors!

best regards, MurrayBacon.


  1. Thanks Murray, and wise comments.

    Comment by Hans Laven — Mon 10th May 2010 @ 7:51 pm

  2. I am all for solidarity, but I have a special contempt for people who want to personally profit from our misfortune, and moles within us who do not really share our views, leaders who have huge egos and Macciavellian characters, i will always criticise them.

    Comment by martin Swash — Tue 11th May 2010 @ 1:23 am

  3. Thanks Murray.

    Comment by Dave — Wed 12th May 2010 @ 3:25 pm

  4. Martin makes a very good point about people who want to personally profit from our misfortune. Murray is a wise and faithful friend to all fathers, and whose advice about family law practitioners I should have taken from the beginning instead of helping one buy a new BMW. It is good to see him posting again.

    I have made the mistake of responding to personal attacks on me made on this site but have tried to use humour and wit to do it if someone hands me a ‘gimme’ on a plate. I should remember that if someone makes an attack it is only because we have scored a point and they are seeing the cracks of their own argument.

    Comment by Gerry — Fri 21st May 2010 @ 1:32 am

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