Educating young people about the qualities of a successful marriage.
This is a very thoughtful insight by Mark Brandenburg. The full article can be found here.
“Can we possibly continue with a system in which half of our children witness the breakup of their parent’s marriage? Is a divorce rate near 50% enough to have us consider new ideas about how we decide about marriage and divorce?
One idea we might consider is educating young people about the qualities of a successful marriage. The best way to do this is to model these qualities for your children. In addition, we can talk to them about the specific qualities and actions which make a marriage successful.
Here are some of those qualities:
According to one definition, “Commitment is a freely chosen inner resolve to follow through with a course even though difficulty arises.” How do we show our children what to do when difficulty arises? Do we move to where the grass is greener? Commitment is a daily discipline. It’s the chat after dinner, and the kiss before work. It’s the core from which we respond to difficulty.
It’s what makes our lives richer and deeper.
2. Emotional Awareness: If we know what’s really bothering us, we can have effective and meaningful conversations with our spouse. We can be genuine, honest, and open with each other. And we can discover that much of the pain we feel in our relationship is actually our past emotional history coming back to haunt us.
If you’re planning on getting married someday, you need to be aware of what your emotional issues are. Because, if you’re not aware of them, you’re a great candidate to add to a divorce rate that’s already staggering.
3. Be Kind, Not Right: We tend to have a tremendous stake in showing our loved ones that we’re right. An enormous amount of time is wasted in our relationships by arguing over who’s right or wrong. This excessive arguing is just an indication of our low self-esteem. A much easier and more effective way to be in a relationship is to commit to kindness. When you’re kind, you don’t need to be right. And it’s so much easier for others to be with you!”
To make sure due credit is given the full details of the author are:
Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC
Phone (+1) 651-766-9976
“Helping Men Succeed”
My personal view is we should be teaching adults this as well. If you know any single, childless women with the qualities Mark Brandenburg lists – then please hook me up with them!