Why the man drought?
Wellington – Single women have a problem finding a husband or partner in New Zealand
– they outnumber men.
There are 35,000 more women in the prime marrying age group of 20 to 45, according to Statistics New Zealand and the situation is so bad that a 32-year-old Kiwi woman has as much chance of finding a partner her age as an 82-year-old.
‘The reason being the 82-year-old men are dead and the 32-year-old men aren’t there,’ according to international demographer Bernard Salt, who has studied what he calls the ‘man drought’ in New Zealand and Australia.
‘Young Kiwis in their mid to late-20s leave the country, but it’s mostly the women who come back,’ he said.
Why would they come back?
In other countries they are rewarded more for their hard work. It doesn’t take them long to realise they are more highly valued by foreign women than NZ women.
What is also increasing is the number of men that either immigrate or go for a foreign bride in order to have a better future for themselves. It is time this was discussed more openly rather than by just a few.
I think if you look at any dating site the wish list of many women is nigh impossible to aspire to. Many want a ready made life where they expect the male to have the flash car, decent house and a bonus would be a launch moored somewhere romantic. Maybe I am exaggerating but there is this common want, “must be financially secure”. I think a lot of older kiwi women expect life on a plate. What happened to making a life together? The other issue is where you meet single females of an age say over 30 something? Pubs, clubs and the like are not where you expect to find someone hanging out in order to meet the opposite gender at that age. Dating sites are appallingly grotesque – I mean you go through the whole virtual courting only to have to do it all over again for real! The first thirty seconds has either side deciding and it seems a waste of emotional effort when you could have figured it out with a real meeting in the first instance. I concede it works for some, but not the majority. I can appreciate why guys go for overseas women – they are far less expecting the male to be a huge financial success. They appreciate the lifestyle here, whereas a lass growing up here knows no different so her criteria for the perfect mate is quite different.
maybe kiwi men are just wakeing up to the fact that kiwi women are dangerous
it also dosent help a kiwi womans cause when they looking for mr perfect because he dosent exist…demanding..manipulative…controlling…attention seeking drama queens..they think its their right to dictate to all and sundry…they scream abuse whenever it suits…who wants to date that?
your not exaggerating…thats exactly how it is
you mean a risky business? I concur.
Reply to Paul
Correct…As in Dangerous Paul…I will even go further..Try… ‘Lethal’…That what my two Dutch Lady police friends described Kiwi Woman as…and some other extremely choice words …But I definitely can not post those on here……
Kind regards John Dutchie
Reply to Ford
‘Tongue in cheek’ and ‘Just stirring the Pot’…With a bit of Humor…And ‘Yes’ damn straight, as in it being ‘Sarcastic’…!!!…Guilty as charge your Honor….!!!See happy now Kiwi Feminists….?????
Come on Ford…Gee…I kindly suggest you should date ‘Kiwi Woman’ Ford…
Please good sir,do so show some compassion to our beloved down trodden Kiwi Woman…after all they are the real ‘victims’ from ‘Us’… Evil abusing ‘Demonic’ Kiwi Men….Come Ford you should by now, as here in N.Z its always the Men/Fathers fault…
Kind regards John Dutchie
They have such a huge list of demands on what their man should be like, and get peeved when a man asks, what does she look like? Well if they are going to be demanding, psycho nazi’s, they better be pretty!
It’s Sunday and I have the time to put together a few thoughts I’ve had circulating in my bonce recently.
I notice a slow but steady slight increase in the traffic of women going to the MENZ website and posting there. No doubt there are others who merely read without publishing comments.
Something is definitely going on here. Women are becoming curious about men and taking steps.
Excuse me whilst I talk in generalities for a while in order to express something.
Don’t take what I say hereafter personally – unless you think it applies to you!
Here’s what I see slowly but surely increasingly playing out in NZ. In fact across the western world as I know it, indeed anywhere tainted by feminism :
Men are talking to one another like never before facilitated by modern day telecommunication systems.
We’re increasingly wising up to the fact that we are viewed as second class disposable citizens within feminist cultures.
That we are the modern day day niggers.
Whilst we see womenfolk imbued with all manner of privilege we on the other hand are STILL burdened with life crushing pre-feminist responsibilities and a whole lot more as under feminist hegemony we’re devoid of basic human rights with regards to relationships, reproduction and family life. We’re devoid of public education about our sexes condition and a reasonable media generated public image.
Naturally we feel resentful about this, but many of us are deeply confused being pulled in two differing directions at once.
On the one hand our instinct is to defend women. Yes often even those who would attack us!
The other, very natural drive is to want to eradicate a perceived threat.
There are basically two ways to deal with a threat – attack it or run away. Flight or fight.
Increasingly I see men doing either behavior, but allot are simply quietly and privately going their own way.
Many men don’t know how to engage with women and fight women, besides which we’re often terrified (with just reason) that we’ll get hammered by the authorities if we do criticize women.
So more and more of us disappear and become part of the ‘ghost nation’ you may have read about.
I see this happening all around me in several different countries I’ve visited recently.
Intelligent aware men aren’t pursuing women like they used to, as we no longer the incentives to do so.
In fact having experienced ourselves and other men in our lives being treated horrendously under feminist’s sexual apartheid system we are with good reason very wary of women and pro-feminist chivalric men.
As things stand at work we run the gauntlet of being falsely accused of sexual harassment and heavily punished.
At home we run the gauntlet of being falsely accused of domestic violence, sexual violence, violence towards minors, smelling bad, not doing enough of the second shift etc etc etc…(fill in your own blanks)
All the while under a system invented by feminists of ‘no fault’ divorce we know there’s at least a 50% chance we’ll end up like the uncle or workmate or brother or other men we meet reduced to financial and emotional devastation and most sadly even suicide.
Meanwhile we know that women understand the cards are terribly stacked in their favor but aren’t hitting the streets to protest that they have more than their fair share of power.
Indeed we know women are basking in it thinking they’re getting ‘payback’ for the mythical ‘two thousand years of patriarchal oppression’ which feminists sold them and they naively bought into.
We notice this and it totally vindicates our sense that basically woman don’t care about us except as being women’s own personal paychecks and body armor (slaves in other words). The word ‘hero’ derives from the ancient Greek word for slave. We know women care far more about themselves than about us, yet expect us to care more about them than we care about ourselves.
We feel that strongly. Every day. In a myriad of ways. We’ve met thousands of women yet can count on one hand the number of women who we feel valued by for what we are – valuable sentient human beings.
Meanwhile also a whole generation of boys is watching and as is natural for them modeling themselves on the generation of men ahead of them. This is despite feminists best efforts to isolate children from men so according to Platonian principles – ‘give me the boy until he is 7 and I will give you the man’.
The boys increasingly see the generation of men that go before them bruised, battered and bewildered withdrawing from women – and they learn every day without a single word being articulated to them that it’s not safe to get too close to women!
Without even being aware of it boys en masse, much disparaged by feminist education systems anyway, are giving up on the idea that there’s valued. They’re sensible enough to understand this – that there’s NOT a secure role for them in the future as heterosexual lovers, husbands, fathers, friends and co-workers employed standing alongside women.
So they do what’s sensible.
They disengage and become slackers, which is what’s expected of them under the watch of demonizing feminists anyway.
Surrounded by such widespread septic cultural messages as –
Are men really necessary? Girls can do anything! Boys are stupid! throw rocks at them!
That’s the zeitgeist they grow up in. The cultural air they breath.
Their natural instinct is to model themselves on the men around them and they’re therefore becoming mini-MGTOW (Men going there own way) dropping out of the old paradigm of interdependency between men and women – a social contract they no longer have any incentive to invest in.
They quietly slide away and in a self fulfilling prophecy feminists create schools and Universities which are places filled with achieving females and disinterested disengaged males.
This in turn however has an effect on women who naturally sense that men are pulling away and that they are gradually but inexorably being abandoned.
Two years ago in Scotland a club advertised for a valentines day singles evening – 500 women showed up and ……..two men.
Many western dating sites show an upsurge in female subscribers…………. and ‘unusually’ less heterosexual men than women.
Increasingly small businesses headed by males covertly only hire other males……….. for fear of vindictive women.
Increasingly desperate women of all ages ‘sex up’ their outer appearance under the feminist rubric of being empowered.
You go sister!
What they’re not telling you however is it’s the opposite – they’re doing so because they’re increasingly desperate to attract their own personal wage slave as men become more resistant and ‘commitment phobic’!
The women’s movement was a phenomenon of thousands of women hitting the streets in public protest.
Because safe as they were under male protection they could.
Because paradoxically despite all their shrill rhetoric about being oppressed it was safe enough for them to do so!
The Men’s movement on the other hand is an altogether different affair.
It’s one where thousands of men aren’t hitting the streets, but instead quietly in the shadows away from big sister meeting and sharing stories of their woundings at the hands of feminists (mostly women) and chivalrists.
They can’t do it the way the women back in the sixties and seventies did it, hitting the streets in protest.
Because it isn’t yet safe to do so.
For being recognized there, exposed in public, by a female relative, colleague or other kind of associate means risking yet again being savagely wounded as ‘revenge’ for going public gets acted out on them. We go to work the next day and ‘mysteriously’ get falsely accused. Our female ‘friends’ become ‘strangely’ unavailable and cold.
Chivalric ‘mates’ give us a hard time or don’t return our calls.
Stupidly and paradoxically such brave men (and a few women of late) who do go public get insulted privately and publicly falsely branded then stupidly vilified as women haters.
So whilst the women’s movement has been very public and loud, the men’s movement takes place in a far more circumspect behind the scenes way.
You could be forgiven for thinking it was a weak ineffective movement!
It’s simply mostly passive-aggressive withdrawal which can be mistaken for non existence.
And chillingly it is the harbinger of ‘normal’ relations between men and women as long as women hold onto feminist values and action.
As more and more boys and men drop out though lack of incentive and inclusion in social life it will be interesting to see what eventuates as the trend accelerates.
Some thoughts I have in the event of such a phenomenon are –
Increasingly boys and men, demonized and criminalized anyway, will resort to criminal activity. Might as well get hung for a sheep as a lamb!
Increasingly the workload in paid employment done by women will HAVE TO increase for standards of living to remain the same or improve.
This is because males WON’T have incentive to work hard, compete and innovate and earn promotions/increased salaries.
For they will understand their wages and salaries only end up being gouged – garnishing individual women they get involved with – and privileging women collectively further through tax systems which unfairly take from men and give to women much more than vice versa.
A bleak future eh?
A future of angry disengaged menfolk.
A future of men disappearing from the radar leaving women stranded on their own feminist island.
Masses of women devoid of intimacy with half the human race, left lonely, alienated and stressed having to fend for themselves – not because they can do anything as the feminists would have us believe, but because they HAVE TO.
Case in point.
I won’t live in NZ or anywhere in the westernized world as long as it’s possible.
The thought of living in NZ and adding my taxes to feminists further dis-empowering my brothers sickens me in the gut.
The thought of typical modern western women curdles my bowels.
The thought of lifting a finger to help any westernized ‘liberated’ woman becomes a matter of serious moral decision making on my part.
The bottom line being I’ll help her only if it helps males at the same time….and only if I have a sense that she’ll reciprocate with as much vigor as I expend in helping her.
AN older and wiser man than me once asked me if I was getting a fair deal with my then girlfriend.
Puzzled I asked him what he meant.
He pointed out that he was studying Anthropology and a basic principle of human relations.
ALL RELATIONS ARE BUILT ON RECIPROCITY.
I’ll never forget those words as long as I live.
It struck me then that I was doing MUCH more for her than she for me, but what floored me even further was the later realization that what i was doing was only a microcosm of what was happening on a massive scale.
Despite some slight movement in men’s voice being detected and respected that’s still my overwhelming sense of things.
Western women hear me – I’m fit, healthy, have money in the bank, steady employment with good career prospects, I’m very hygienic, emotionally articulate, I cook, clean, shop and launder efficiently, I can fix computers and some mechanical and electrical devices, I’m widely read, play several musical instruments, have a great wardrobe and often get complimented on my appearance, I speak words and phrases from several languages, I’m skilled in home decoration, landscaping and house repairs. I’m not unusual – all my male friends are multi-talented intelligent guys who share a determination to remain unavailable for any long term close intimate relationship with a westernized woman. Sure we may have the occasional fling if conditions feel safe enough.
But long term? Making babies together? ‘Sharing’ a house and other property ‘together’? No way! Not worth the risk.
And we’re smarting.
Been there, done that and got the blood stained T shirt to prove it.
Thanks for indulging me by reading.
Reply to Skeptik
Beautiful said and a very thoughtful post good sir…Yes, you are very correct… I have walked away from Western European Woman,and I have said this a few times before on Menz, I will never ever go near a Kiwi Woman again,and intend to return to Thailand to live there permanently, where that wonderful country hasn’t corrupted by this Evil Manhood /Fatherhood hating social engineering Western European .. ‘Femi Nazi’…. Feminism….!!!
I also know a lot of other decent Kiwi Men walking away from Kiwi Woman…
But here is the real scary bit, I have really noticed, it is the younger Guys in there late twenties and early thirties shunning away from Western Kiwi European Woman,as one young Kiwi Man I know at the Gym , said to me ….’I saw what this so called feminist family court did to my Father,it destroyed him,and I, myself will not ever go down that road …Good on him,a wise young man he is….
Happy and contented now you Kiwi Feminists…??? You have finally achieved what you wanted…????…
And I can tell right now Kiwi Feminists, the Man drought is going to get a hell of lot worse for you…
And so it should ..Be damn that we, as good and decent Men/Fathers here in Feminist N.Z, to are be ‘Demonized’ and treated like second class citizens for the last 25 years by Feminism …!!!!!
Kind regards John Dutchie
Yes. And the stupidiest part about it is that us guys don’t miss out at all. It’s the women of New Zealand that will suffer.
Us guys will simply leave the country and settle in other places, where as you have said the women know how to treat men with dignity and respect.
Us guys will end up in loving, kind, secure, marriages, with women who are beautiful on the outside as well as inside.
Us guys will end up with loving families, with women who value being faithful and are willing to put some effort into keeping the love alive in their marriages.
Us guys will end up with children who have been raised without all the feminist lies and nonsense clouding their thinking.
So ladies, don’t think your feminist rubbish will cause us men to miss out on ANYTHING!
And remember as you sit at night with your 4 children to 4 different fathers, who all left because of the way you treated them. Watching a TV that was paid for with child support, that YOU are the reason that us guys don’t want anything to do with you anymore.
I’m a Kiwi male, left NZ 15 years ago. Kiwi women scare me. They’re generally speaking, aggressive, demanding, bossy and quite frankly, not feminine. It doesn’t take long for a New Zealand male to realise, having landed in a new country that we’re being ripped off. I certainly felt this way. Guys, move! There are so many nice, intelligent, sexy women out there. Don’t think for a moment that you have to put up with passive aggressive females that look and behave like men.
Now that’s a bit harsh. I think we men are much better behaved (and a lot of the time better looking as well).
Im 25, good looking, secure, and I think I just woke up. Have been trying to figure out why I have not been happy with the way ‘Kiwi’ women are but have noticed that women from overseas are a hell of a lot nicer and genuine. They seem more comfortable in their own skins. Am planning on moving overseas after reading this.
Sam, Well done!
Much better to wise up so young as you are than end up like millions of men who rue the day they said ‘I do’ to a westernised woman who turned into a state backed man hater.
I wish you well as a MGTOW – Man Going Your Own Way.
Please keep talking to other men sharing your reasons for your wise choice, and report back on how you progress as you venture forth.
There are those who wish to shame men back into the old role of disposability cloaking it with a weird veneer they spin as honorable.
These days I mix with a bunch of guys who are all under 40 and have NO intentions of settling for a relationship with a woman under feminist hegemony. They are biding their time, saving themselves for special women who live in special (non misandric)cultures. They sometimes talk of certain Asian, Islamic and Hispanic cultures where feminism/misandry isn’t tolerated but conversely men are respected.
Women are the same the world over, it is the laws that are different and yes the culture has a small influence. In Thailand the family is very strong, but the women will screw you out of MILLIONS of baht in order to give to their parents for sick water buffalos and the like (yeah right). I agree with MGTOW above , men going their own way, this is the way forward, we must stop being disposable, try not to think with our dicks only and stop allowing cupcake to leech off us.
Since the early 1990s I have noticed that in those parts of the world where feminism prevails (Western Europe, North America and Australasia) white female gender-bigotry is more deeply rooted and more pervasive than racism.
I was in Beijing in 1993 when the Lorena Bobbit trial was on in the USA. That was the case when a wife cut off her husband’s penis and threw it in the street. The Beijing of 1993 was very different from the Beijing of today. A group of women were watching a street-side television, which was showing American women applauding the maiming of a male, and selling penis cakes in celebration.
As I approached them, the Chinese women stared at me and chattered among themselves. One of asked “Do American women hate their sons too?” I replied something along the lines of not all of them hate us and she said “excuse me, but yes they do. We see it on our news all the time.”
One of the others whispered something in Mandarin, and there was some laughter, and the first woman said “She wants to ask I you’d all like to come and live here. We wouldn’t hate you.”
Since then I’ve seen the gender-hatred of white women invade our education, our health, our justice, our media, our places of employment and our institutions. Fortunately for me, I too was advised by a wise older man that I would be more productive and lead a happier and more fulfilling life if I made it my goal to have as little to do with women as a politely possible.
#18..stick with alaska..nz is crap
Lady, from the states living in NZ. I have seen that there seems to be a lot of frustration with women being very aggressive and men being very passive in the dating cultures. I don’t think the issue has anything to do with women wanting to be treated without sexism as equals in life; but instead a very strange cultural reality where noone here seem to have a traditional dating scene and everyone meets in the pub. I am just saying – not drinking, exercising, respecting yourself does not appear to be respected her as you can’t meet anyone. It makes no sense. Might be that men here need to learn to be a little more clear about what they want and their expectations and not blame feminism as to why they remain single.
lady (#19): I don’t think any man contributing here is ‘blaming feminism as to why they remain single’. Men are preferring women from cultures and belief systems that value family and partner loyalty. Or men are increasingly going their own way, avoiding significant relationships under the regime now so stacked against them.
Also, there is little evidence that women want to be treated as ‘equals in life’. Women actually want more advantage, power and privilege than men in every area possible. I have never heard women object when, as almost always happens, a woman is let off with a much lighter sentence than men get for the same crime. I have never heard women demand that after family separation men should have care of the children as often as women do and have the women paying them so-called ‘child support’. I have never heard women demand to work in low-paid, dirty, uncomfortable, dangerous jobs or demand to be killed or maimed in their jobs about 100 times as much as they currently are, in order to be almost equal to men. ‘Workplace equality’ for women seems to apply only to the most privileged, highly paid jobs. I have never heard women demand that the male partners they discard get at least 50% of their financial assets, as women demand from men. Women on dating sites ignore available males who don’t have financial assets or secure employment, and women show no interest in changing this discriminatory approach in order to become more equal to men who much more often think and behave generously. I still seldom hear of women insisting they pay for their date’s dinner and drinks. Or offer to fix their boyfriend’s car. Equals in life, yeah right.
I agreen with everything, women here are not from this earth, very demanding, like they just hate you for no reason, they have exercise their unhappiness on men. And dress like shit.
I have been in NZ a long time and I have to say a couple of important things that I found to be true- Kiwi women have to be some of bossiest and oppressive to other women women I have met in the Western world. They are also very competitive with other women and seem to be unable to make a sisterships or connections with non-Kiwi women very well. They appear to be very insecure about their men being taken but to be frank, not many foreign women would want your men that remain in NZ as they appear to have little competency or gentleman ways when dating women esp those women from abroad. They are a bit rough and unrefined to say the least and can be highly aggressive or careless in bed. They do not seem to know what foreplay is and this ruins it for women who want to play it safe and get to know someone before going too far. That is not the case in NZ- every one seems to rush into the sack way too fast, even the self-referred to Christians. The money-drive of Kiwi women is a bit over the top and they will not hire or promote other women to get ahead in NZ that si reserved for only Kiwi women they know or like, nobody else. NZ is a oppressive female world and no promise to be promoted or supported by other women. They like to tell you what you NEED to do and they seem very non-compassionate. Overall they have ruined it for me and the Islanders are not much better and sometimes have even lower standards and also prejudice to outsiders. You can only get ahead in NZ if you are a man. It is very hard as a woman esp if you have to start in lower or middle positions. You must come in from a high positions like a professor, doctor or teacher to be able to get ahead in NZ. The cost of living is high. Women in NZ now only consists of 19% of senior management and US is 60%. There is a greater sistership and support of other women in America even foreign women and that is a huge difference in cultural styles. NZ is backwards and the women are not very keen on helping other women- it is because they men have been dominating and selfish with them and so their strive for equality has made them so. The other funny thing about Kiwi culture is you have to have KIWI experience to work here and you also have to have a KIWI form of behaviour conduct to be accepted. Pay is low and customer service is bad. The customer service is reflected on the cultural style in which women are treated- poorly. Things were much better in 2004 and earlier for women or after they got paternity rights and rights to higher education. I have to leave NZ because of how the Kiwi women treat me- it is poor.
I am a kiwi chick, but thank god I got to live my early life in the seventies/eighties era, things seemed more normal then..upon leaving highschool the options for girls were low compared to the guys, but that has all changed with the advent of computer related jobs.
It is certainly hard to pin point what happened but I do agree that women and men have grown apart, and I have noticed women getting bossy and men getting lost.
We definitely have a lack of patriotism and a lack of passion for the so called simple things in life, like food and sexuality, is this something that can be taught?..unfortunately only by example perhaps..uh oh…
I hold on to my euro genetics with strong teeth as I love to be a woman..and because of how I am and how I dress most people that meet me do not think me a kiwi..most women that meet me do not rate me, unless they are somewhat foreign in which case it is easy to converse and shoot the breeze.
I certainly notice that not many people like to get dolled up to go out to dinner and I certainly wish they would make more of an effort.
When you look back at our short history as a nation we see many hard working souls, and sure some scholarly folk but not many passionate european types came here and I am afraid the mix is not going to go largely in that direction either.
I think it ridiculous to compare kiwi women to European women and make expectations from same.
i have lived in Europe where a feminine woman is highly sought out as it is the perfect complement to a masculin man.
There has been in fact a very strong liberation or freedom tide since pre and after the second world (the great equalizer) between men and women and most jobs are impartially shared among genders due to ability, competence and qualification.
Of course as best as possible (isn’t it funny that the olympics and every branch of sports are openly sexist!!?) Boys against boys, girls against girls – I wonder why, why why…
And yet, many European men are seeking women from Eastern european, thailand or vietnam or other countries because those women still have an inbuilt way to appreciate men that other liberated women from Europe have lost.
Funny enough the European women that want a men and are missing out in Europe due to lack of romantic men are seeking them out in foreign destinations (dominican republic, the Gambia… and so on and so )
So it is a problem that affects both genders equally.
Men want a mother (security in a relationship – support – emotional and sexual availability) as a wife,
Women want a daddy (romance “blind fold date – excitement” – Financial protection “empowers motherly side – creativeness – happiness” – shelter “physical safety”) as a husband.
But both sex refuse the inherent role.
A woman is happy to pay to get what she wants even it it is only for a six weeks holiday a year somewhere where she pays to be treated like a queen.
And men do same…
so it is a stalemate.
However in Africa there are groups of women trying to create political initiatives where these women want their husband to have more than one wife and some have even gone to the point of creating movements to empower their husbands to have more than one wife (polygamous societies).
This is however the norm in most Muslim countries where a man can have four wives. And yes , it works.
ON a side note ~~~
– Islam is ridiculed or feared by most people but if they knew what is in store in it one would revisit it.
That is the only religion where usury or interest is not allowed (so the banking system as we know it cannot work and that is why American and all its dogs are trying to upset every Muslim country they know so they can establish their own system).
They call it “democracy” and yet the people on the land did not choose it. Everywhere where it has been imposed it has automatically become “corruption.” And then where there are tribes, it has become ethnic war and then ethnic cleansing. This is how war is manufactured – it’s a process called “democratisation.”
And the above factor about marriage make it sufficient enough to see the real threat that Islam as a religion poses to the rest of the global agenda system.
IN Islam – State cannot be a party to a marriage. And one is allowed up to four wives.
Essentially the case for monogamy in western society is that and just that. It’s a tri-partite contract. You , her and the state.
End of side note~~~
In fact in both india and Nepal, there are small societies where a woman is married to all the brothers of the same household. This is the direct counterpart to the African polygamy system since both are for economical reasons. The wealth is the strong family Unit and the support therein.
IN china for example, after years of culling females born, they are now in a very dire situation where they might be 10 men for 1 woman. Unless you are super rich and wealthy, marriage is not an option.
In Japan however, it is the opposite, Men wanted signs everywhere. Cuckoo clocks ticking everywhere.
I guess we could travel around the world and see many a funny or sad sight but to each environment, its people.
I have lived in America also and it was hard connecting with women there. Maybe I was used to the European flair, attitude and flirtation. And I missed the feminine side of them. I met many a white woman and discovered them to be apologist from the slave trade and many black women that believed to be feminine was to have fist fights with other women for your man and then beat him up for having to protect him from other women. Then the spanish – but that is another story.
After arriving in Nz. I was fascinated by the kiwi woman at first. I admired their go go attitude, do it yourself, get out there and make it work. No time bitching just get on with it. It was refreshing for a while .
But then I realized the ones that fascinated me still were the same as the ones that fascinated me in Africa, in Europe and in America. And over time I could see every woman in the kiwi woman.
The critical aspect we do not see or consider are the family values in which these women were raised and the personal development that matches it.
I however think most men if they knew themselves should be the magnet for the very woman they want by being the best man they can be. and not by chasing after women.
Remember a dog will chase what is running, naturally.
The question is – is the dog in you the best man in you?
Men must be picky and choose wisely.
That is sadly what is lacking in this society.
Men and women meet in a vacuum.
You do not meet her family, her parents, her brothers and sisters until after you’ve hooked up.
And then later it is a litany of horror stories – siblings against parents. Siblings against siblings…
I keep thinking once a man graduates to a man and knows himself and what it i to be a man, his woman will seek her better self to match him.
IT seems here we have the opposite – Women lead and men follow them to mental, emotional and psychological castration. And then men complain.
Sorry and them exposed boys complaint about “Feminsm”
And yet these same boys/men might be the problem for other men – they are the feminists that train women to expect the wrong thing from men.
I hear them all the time, “I did this – she said – then I did this – she said she wanted that- then I changed to this – she said that – and then I put my foot down and she did this…. and so on and so on”
I think the problem with NZ is there is a very vicious and crazy role reversal I have not seen in many places where women lead and men follow.
Women create reality and men follow up bitching. The real fact however is did you pick your woman or where you picked?
Are you the woman in the relationship?
FRom an immigrant’s point of view
Will tell you what happened to me just yesterday .
I am a 55 years student in one prestigious Auckland University whereas I am studying for a teacher’s certificate .
Yesterday I failed an exam because I exceeded the time limit of 60 minutes for delivering the lesson although my lesson plan was previously twice approved by the same observer that failed me . But that was not a big deal I can always ask for re-seating that particular exam . The problem for me was that my assessor cut me abruptly in a very primitive ill mannered way front of all students while I was teaching them .
These are the mistakes i did to deserve such a malicious treatment:
1.My first mistake: I come always nicely dressed, freshly shaven in a clean European car
2.My second mistake : I said few things about the difference between the Cambridge and local pronunciation of English. Also, my higher than average kiwi financial and self confidence status was taken against me . Two English/Kiwi nomad teachers felt threatened by me . They reacted in malicious way , of course well hidden behind formal courtesy .
3. Third mistake: I am really trying to help foreign students to learn an English language . meaning often I exceed my 60 minutes lesson time limits and stay with the foreign students after hours to help them . The “best” teachers are the ones who only automatically delivers the lessons
in a very formal way.
4. I did not suck up up enough in a subservient way to my female observer/assessor .
So, the biggest problem is the general local culture and then comes the problem of insecure females who see anyone who is different from their life style as a threat, especially if that someone knows s Latin and few more things that local female’s don’t know .
My teachers are either obese who see saving dogs as a top priority in their lives or they are gays and passive/aggressive feminists .
Lot of Kiwi women are proud to call themselves feminists but they will describe their attitude as fight for equal rights with the men . The gist of it is they do that BUT only whereas it suits them
I can’t support double or triple standards .
I am dating mainly Asian women because I find their culture and attitude toward work, men , family their lifestyle more realistic .
Sorry, but I don’t think anyone who is on the benefits of various types can have realistic attitude
That is all fascinating information, but our reality here in NZ is that there really has been a rapid change and this is so for some other western countries and Japan is very unusual too.
It does feel though that the ‘digital” age and consummerism has posed a very serious problem for man and woman. Money has manipulated stature.
Maybe it is an identity problem.
There is no man or woman.
There are only jobs and positions?
And everyone watches out for their own?
Yes an identity problem for sure.
No clear and defined role for man or woman, for instance does a man still hold a door open for a woman?, if he did, would it be appreciated or snubbed or even laughed at?,,how will he know now.
on 25, Tony… Very sorry to hear of your experience Tony, my husband has had a bad experience working under a head teacher , a woman, a bully, he left and called her a bully when he left…
I think there are NOT ENOUGH MEN IN EDUCATION… It is a telling shame for our boys.
Thank you Mama. I will not leave without a fight , that is for sure. I am sick of touchy feely women with fake principles and kindness who behind closed doors turn to bullies . They are passively supported by some already defeated men . Defeated, because they have seen enough of women’s bulling and seen enough of the untouchable women .
Sorry to sound so caustic , but that is exactly what has been happening
Too many women and not enough MAN in a boys life is not a good start, the buddy system for boys is a good thing, Uncles , Grandads to take boys under their wings,,,this is what NZ needs,,, No matter the type of job you end up doing, as long as pride in yourself is instilled a boy will become a man. Women like confidence, if you have women who like to bring your confidence level down as a man, you need to leave them behind, this is unfortunately a problem right now it seems, the women on a high and the men on a low.
Women are really well paid in their type of work, statistics include the lowest paid women and yes they are paid less than men but overall young women are earning a good wage out there.. for cushy jobs I might add…so society has wiped out the need for a partner in that respect, and now with house prices out of reach it has taken away the need to be a couple to achieve the house goal too.
Would be interesting if everyone was paid the same.