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Media release: Positive Men grateful TradeMe cancels choking husband toy auction

Filed under: Domestic Violence,General — Darryl Ward @ 1:05 pm Tue 28th February 2012

Positive Men is grateful TradeMe has removed from its site an item that trivialises and makes fun of domestic violence.

The “choking husband toy’ caused considerable outrage in the community, and Positive Men yesterday called upon TradeMe to immediately stop the auction of this offensive item.

Positive Men spokesperson Darryl Ward was advised by TradeMe shortly after mid day that, “The Trade Me Customer Support Team have reviewed the listing and has deemed that it is in breach of our terms and conditions. As a result the listing has been removed from the site”.

Ward is delighted by the news. “We are very happy that TradeMe has acted so promptly and sent a clear message that its site can not be used to mock the plight of all those men and women who silently suffer in their homes”.

Positive Men was established to promote the use of positive imagery of men and masculinity in the media in Aotearoa New Zealand.


Spokesperson for Positive Men:
Darryl Ward
[My contact details]


  1. Well done Darryl. I wonder when the NZ press will see this as ‘newsworthy’….. when it’s about a female toy probably…

    Comment by JS — Tue 28th February 2012 @ 4:12 pm

  2. Hi JS, this has got some traction in the media. Over the last two days, Positive Men has been on National Radio and Concert numerous times as well as Newstalk ZB and Scoop.

    I am quite happy with that, and I am hopeful some of tomorrow’s papers may carry news of our success.

    Here’s hoping!

    Comment by Darryl Ward — Tue 28th February 2012 @ 4:25 pm

  3. I wonder if your members are aware the same seller also has a choking boss toy for sale. I have already reported the auction as inciting a criminal act namely assault, and presuming a fair number of your members are likely to be bosses themselves maybe they might like to do the same.

    Comment by Vicki — Thu 1st March 2012 @ 10:44 pm

  4. Are any of us bosses? I doubt it.

    Same deal re the ‘Choking the boss” toy- it’s promoting violence

    This test can be applied:-
    – if the roles were reversed to “man choking wife” or to “boss choking employee” would that make a difference to perceived acceptability?
    If the reverse situation is unacceptable, then the original is equally unacceptable.

    Comment by John Brett — Fri 2nd March 2012 @ 3:33 pm

  5. Vicki, some of our members may well be bosses. A boss can be a foreman or a team leader, not necessarily a CEO or a business owner, and I agree with you that this toy is unacceptable.

    Comment by Darryl Ward — Fri 2nd March 2012 @ 5:31 pm

  6. I suggest anything that incites violence against another person should be banned!

    Comment by Gwaihir — Fri 2nd March 2012 @ 5:53 pm

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