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CYF, do they do anything useful??

Filed under: Child Support,Gender Politics,General,Law & Courts,Sex Abuse / CYF — Had_Enough @ 1:13 pm Mon 4th March 2013

OK, this is probably a rhetorical question and I would imagine that the answer is ‘no they are completely useless’ , but my daughter is at risk and I don’t know where to turn.

I live in Australia and the mother has full custody thanks to the Family Court not noticing that she is full of BS and barking mad. My daughter and her mother both live in NZ. I have never in any way abused the mother but she goes out of her way to play the victim and e-mails from me saying things like; ‘will you be at the halfway point at 6.00 PM today with my daughter for her fortnightly access visit?’, were regarded as abuse by her and she took out a non-trespass order on me, wouldn’t answer the phone and blocked any communication I tried to have with my daughter. This has gone on for 2 and a half years now.

It goes without saying that the useless Family Court didn’t bother enforcing the Parenting Order because we MUST NOT have fathers involved with their daughters in any way at all despite all Court records saying I am a very good father. Anyway I’ve recently learned that she has kept my daughter out of school for the last 18 months. A couple of weeks ago I contacted CYFS about this and also raised other concerns I have about my daughter being verbally and emotionally abused by her barking mad mother (who has some sort of paranoid personality disorder). Not only does my daughter not go to school but she isn’t allowed to socialise with other kids because after all the world is a very bad place and she must stay home with mummy and keep her company. So far all I have seen from CYFS is paper shuffling and incompetence; for example wasting a week by referring the case to the wrong CYFS branch.

Has anyone out there had any experience of CYFS in a situation such as mine? A Differential Response Co-ordinator (whatever that is) is handling the case. My biggest fear is that they have the same gender bias as the FC and IRD CS and my concerns won’t be taken seriously because I am male. Also, if CYFS are completely useless are there any govt agencies I could turn to who may help? My main concern is that my highly intelligent daughter is having her potential snuffed out by her barking mad (still undiagnosed) mother and is likely prey for Internet predators. She’s 13 and is allowed to spend all day on the Internet. Her mother also has an unhealthy obsession with her and takes her to various psychologists and doctors with all kinds of alleged illnesses ranging from autism (not formerly diagnosed) to leg and arm deficits (doctor says her hamstrings are tighter than normal). Is it any wonder, she’s allowed to lie on the floor all day staring into a laptop screen instead of running around socialising with other kids and playing sport and going to school. Of course each alleged disability attracts extra money from the State which helps fund her mother’s beneficiary lifestyle.

I would appreciate any feedback you guys may have re this?



  1. Oh Had-Enough, my heart breaks for you!!! the mother sounds like she has Munchhausen syndrome…
    i so hope you can get some help via this site. CYFS are so useless…
    have you tried writing to Minister of Children , mind you have no idea if they could help…
    in which part of NZ does she live?

    Comment by Mum of Sons — Mon 4th March 2013 @ 1:40 pm

  2. Hi Mum of Sons, thanks for the feedback. You’ve hit the nail on the head. I am sure she has Munchhausen Syndrome by Proxy but the retarded Family Court wouldn’t have a psychiatric evaluation done on her when Counsel for Child asked for it 3 years ago. My worry about CYF is that they are inhabited by highly PC idiots who are brainwashed into thinking that the child should always stay with the mother no matter how abusive she is. I would like to get custody of my daughter but would have to prove that she is in serious danger before the stupid FC would allow her to cross the Tasman and come and live with my wife and I.

    Comment by Had_Enough — Mon 4th March 2013 @ 1:53 pm

  3. Hi Had_Enough – I had a similar experience about 5 years ago. Don’t waste your time with CYFS – they have no jurisdiction over your daughter when she is in her mothers care. Your best bet is to track down the Department of Education in the area where your daughter lives and let them know what is going on. They are responsive and seem to “care” – certainly I got the right result for my daughter (i.e. back into school) within 24 hours of calling them. Haven’t the school she goes to done anything? Not a good look when they appear to be ignoring the absence of a 13 year old. Good luck.

    Comment by Bruce S — Mon 4th March 2013 @ 6:13 pm

  4. Now there’s a good Idea, Also try the 0508 Family line. At least they record their calls. Ask Coral Burrows (Now deceased) how effective they are. Oh you have people offering to help. Be careful, they may be CYF sychophants.

    Comment by Gwahir — Mon 4th March 2013 @ 10:19 pm

  5. Hi Bruce, yeah I will give the Dept of Ed a go. I know for a fact that they are currently threatening her with prosecution if she doesn’t send my daughter to school. They seem so slow to act though. It seems that if you are a barking mad mother you can get away with anything..

    Comment by Had_Enough — Mon 4th March 2013 @ 11:24 pm

  6. You are abusing the mother by continuously referring to her as being “barking mad.” Your “biggest fear” … sounds like you may be the one who is paranoid if you see all government departments as “useless” and it seems that you’re hell bent on having the mother declared mentally unfit – no wonder she’s paranoid. How, may I ask, is that of benefit to your daughter? You may be a good father, but it is clear from the tone of your writing that you fail abysmally at attempting to support in any, way, shape or form your daughter’s mother. Shame on you.

    Comment by Wow — Wed 6th March 2013 @ 2:20 am

  7. been a while since Wow trolled the site looking for a wind up.

    Comment by Mits — Wed 6th March 2013 @ 9:18 am

  8. Mits, – You sound like a so-called helping organisation I am aware of. Thats the way they get cilents, selectively approaching vunerable females but offering no support or encouragement to men!

    @Wow,Certainly attack/refute the fact. Avoid the use of adjectives,Do not descend to personal abuse! or make diagnoses you are not qualified to do. Since when was a CYF Social Worker (Normall unqualified) entitled to make medical or psychological judgements.

    Comment by Gwahir — Wed 6th March 2013 @ 9:37 am

  9. Hi Gwahir, Fair call.
    Im not aware of the so called “helping organisation” but I do get a bit annoyed with what appear to be predominantly females coming to this site which has the banner “promoting a clearer understanding of men’s experience” simply to have a go at some poor guy that has opened up on what ever injustices he has experienced.
    In the past I have tried to engage with them for a rational conversation so I can begin to grasp what concepts they hold as evidence for the statements they have put here.
    Usually to no avail as all they want to do is either attack the previous poster or vent their spleen about how bad females have it. So therefore I comment that I find such postings as a wind up or trolling exercise. I make no apology for it and if any of the posters I have labeled as such wish to engage in a rational debate without the name calling and vitriol then I would be more than willing to put more effort into posting a reply to them
    cheers Mits

    Comment by Mits — Wed 6th March 2013 @ 2:35 pm

  10. Very wise Mits, its difficult to argue with yourself. Here we can find plenty of healthy – If robust – Debate!

    If I find real names and emails I block them on Face book then set my email client up to simply move all attemps to contact me to the spam folder!

    Comment by Gwahir — Thu 7th March 2013 @ 4:24 pm

  11. Haha Wow, what a strange and debate stifling ethos the woman as victim model is. It’s a bit like living in Stalinist Russia and publicly criticizing the Stasi isn’t it. We must not criticize the dominant culture; I.e. man hating feminism. Did it occur to you for one minute that my daughter is also a woman and I am trying to protect her. But no the woman as victim ethos assumes that all men are perpetrators and all women are victims. Never mind the fact that my daughter is terrified of her mother who frequently bashes her and locks her in her room. Ive seen the bruises and my other 2 kids have witnessed this. By the way I have confirmation that Syf is completely useless. They visited my daughter and her mother but won’t tell me anything about it and the cyf moron obviously believed that the abuser was a victim. All cyf people involved were women by the way. Go The Sisterhood! Another child bashing mother saved from punishment, Yay.


    Comment by Had_Enough — Sat 9th March 2013 @ 2:57 am

  12. I hear ya Had Enough.
    Years back I had a run in with this cypfs outfit. Hysterical woman with an obvious adgenda, no interest in the actual welfare of my child backed up by another woman who answered every question put to her on the proffessionalism of the person dealing with me with the stock answer of “whats your problem” every question ! I kid you not.
    The only thing I discovered during the whole fruitless exercise was that politely asking a cypfs person what qualifications they hold to be in their position, translates to them as some horrible insult so bad that they they have to literally get hysterical, stand up, shout, have spittle fly from their mouths, rant on uninteligibly about abuse they have suffered, then storm out of the room’
    Had to go through a lawyer using the Official information Act and Privacy Act to get any information out of them and then found it to be a pack of lies, innuendo and complete BS. Vowed then that I would never deal with them without video and audio recording of any meeting. As this is apparently against their policy I think it means that any dealings I would have with them in the future (god forbid) will be relatively short as while they are happy to record everything with their slant on it I think they actively prevent any victim from recording any meetings.

    Comment by Mits — Sat 9th March 2013 @ 8:11 am

  13. Re CYF Social Worker Registration:-

    You can check on ANY social worker you like. Its a public register. Visit

    To become a registered Social Worker the candidate must attain an acceptable qualification, and undertake such training as is considered necessary to attain a certificate of competency. From this you can see that the term “Qualified Social worker” is an oxymoron.

    The site also includes a statement of your rights. If you believe they have been breached Complain to the board! If you become the victim of an unregistered find the name of their supervisor. The board will investigate.

    It’s all a bit like complaining to your mother-in-law about your wife.

    I have been keeping a register of all CYF Social workers and checking the register. A little over 60% are unregistered πŸ™

    They are no longer required to cally Identification.

    Remember document (Record) everything. Even Covert recordings though not directly admissabl can be used.

    Do NOT sign any document supplied by them that only refers to section numbers in the act.

    To these creatures, ALL males are rapists and child abusers hence must be liar’s.

    Happy days

    Comment by Gwahir — Sat 9th March 2013 @ 8:35 am

  14. Yeah I checked and she wasn’t on there. She has a name that’s reminiscent of some fictitious fairy like thing that’s in children’s stories. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to mention her name on here or not. But, she has done nothing because of course the mother can only be a victim, not an abuser,, give me strength πŸ™


    Comment by Had_Enough — Sat 9th March 2013 @ 1:46 pm

  15. Social workers, are not a priviged species! If they can’t stand the heat. Stay out of the kitchen. Name and office please. I’ll add it to my Database!

    Comment by Gwahir — Sat 9th March 2013 @ 2:19 pm

  16. Pixie Stockman from CYF, Hamilton East. I can’t criticise her for anything she did because she didn’t do anything at all πŸ˜‰

    Comment by Had_Enough — Sat 9th March 2013 @ 10:01 pm

  17. Done! Checked the Register, not registered. CYF seem to keep their Registered S/W’s in back office jobe and treat their unregestered staff as little better than cannon fodder. They exist only to break families up, not help!

    Comment by Gwahir — Sun 10th March 2013 @ 7:37 am

  18. The part that concerns me is that this CYF person seems to be more worried about the welfare of the mother than the welfare of the child she is paid to protect. It is a well known fact that abuse victims won’t say a word against their abusers and will often stick up for them. This is a survival mechanism because they have to live with the abuser after the welfare officer has gone home. That’s why a genuine professional, not an amateur, is needed to interview a child in my daughter’s situation. What the F! am I going to do now though? I doubt if the Police will help! My daughter has now been out of school since Nov 2011 and is being verbally and emotionally abused and there seems to be no authority in NZ that gives a s**t..

    Comment by Had_Enough — Sun 10th March 2013 @ 1:58 pm

  19. That is where the psych report and an L4C worthy of their fee are supposedly useful. Unfortunately CYF pay both, remember “He who pays the piper calls the tune.”

    Comment by Gwahir — Sun 10th March 2013 @ 3:13 pm

  20. Im pretty sure that can probably support you through this, we have a team of 12 now working on CYFS cases. We are so proud of how we have been going πŸ˜€

    Comment by Lovelee Leigh — Wed 20th March 2013 @ 4:55 pm

  21. @ Had_enough. Remember this is a completely open group and is regularly Tralled by CYF employees and informants!

    Comment by Gwahir — Wed 20th March 2013 @ 7:19 pm

  22. You make a good point Gwahir!

    Thank goodness most of ‘those’ sites that were run by nut bars are no longer in action! Nor do they need to look over others sites in an attempt to be superman.. mind you we would look much better in red tights than some others playing hero. πŸ˜€

    Comment by Lovelee Leigh — Wed 20th March 2013 @ 7:32 pm

  23. Hi Leigh,
    As a nut bar I think I resent that.

    Comment by Allan Harvey — Wed 20th March 2013 @ 8:05 pm

  24. Ohh Hi Allan .. long time!

    πŸ˜› go on then .. resent it

    Cheers Leigh

    Comment by Lovelee Leigh — Wed 20th March 2013 @ 8:39 pm

  25. To clarify some points, Would you engage just anybody to connect Electricity to your house, or repair your household sewrage system, or for that matter to repair your car? So why should anyone engage an Unqualified “Social Worker”?

    There is nothing stopping anybody from presenting themselves as Bill Blogs B.S.W. or similar. I note that on your website in your description you state “While training for Diploma in Social Services.” Did you achieve the diploma.

    Is your group registered under the Charities act 2005? As we are all aware This offers a level of reassuranceto your clients. Would you be so kind as to quote your registration mumber?

    You are aware of how to contact me. I would much prefer to take this out of the public arena. After reaching agreement (Even agreeingto differ) we han make a joint public statement.

    Comment by Gwahir — Thu 21st March 2013 @ 10:22 am

  26. Panic is registered society our registration number is 2559242. I remind you that you are NOT a lawyer but support by passing on what you know. You are NOT a social worker yet passes on that information. Where are your qualifications given you demand them from others.

    I think my status is quite clear, Gwahir! I am a social worker πŸ˜€ Hurts does it? Im am not prepared to take anything out of the public arena, because of the lies and BS of the past. Its important sometimes for dirty washing to be aired in public!

    Comment by Lovelee Leigh — Thu 21st March 2013 @ 10:56 am

  27. Thank you for that number. You may like to comment on why I c an’t find it at

    I don’t believe I ever claimed to be a lawyer or social worker or openly practice as either.

    In my own field of endevour were you to engage me You wou are entitled to, even advised to check my credentials!

    I accept totally you are not aregistered Social Worker. I am NOT permitted under law to practice unless registered (Which I am at the highest level) AND hold a current practicing certificate (Which I allowed to lapse when I retired. It could be reinstated upun completion of a brief refresher course and payment of the appropriate fees)

    I wish to terminate this discussion for the same reasons you appear to.

    I was proud Leigh to call you my friend. My greatestwish is that thiscould resume. It isa great pity a malign influence has enteredboth our lives.

    Comment by Gwahir — Thu 21st March 2013 @ 11:31 am

  28. Yeh well u can blame yourself for that, for accommodating & feeding liars!

    If you cannot find the number in there, that would mean you are looking in the wrong place.

    Comment by Lovelee Leigh — Thu 21st March 2013 @ 11:55 am

  29. Yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnn leigh

    Comment by shafted — Thu 21st March 2013 @ 12:38 pm

  30. I believe “Shafted says it all!

    Yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnn leigh

    Comment by Gwahir — Thu 21st March 2013 @ 3:52 pm

  31. Sorry to bore all you folks But I do admit in this discussion I was wrong. Leigh’s organisation is incorporated under the Charitable Trusts Act 1957. Mistakenly thought it was under the Charities Act 2005.

    The incorporation can be viewed at The distinction is important for all.

    Charitable trusts act 1957

    The Ccarities act 2005

    I do not intend to pursue this topic beyond reccomending both s valuable reading for anybody involved.

    Comment by Gwahir — Fri 22nd March 2013 @ 5:39 pm

  32. I think cyfs are pretty terrible. I was accused of back handing my step daughter by my step daughter and her grandmother (who she lives with) in Jan. This was false, my husband was there the whole time and so was a photographer. The grandmother rang said what had happened and that she has rung the police and cyfs. My husband tried to say my stepdaughter was lying and that the grandmother needed to take her to a counsellor to talk to someone right away, but of course there was no way she could be lying at all. IT was a month before we saw any body and then it was the police not cyfs. We took her threat seriously, and we tried to ring cyfs with our concerns as the grandmother stops contact all the time, this is the first while an order is in place (perfect excuse huh?) We wanted to tell them that we had a wonderful relationship and this lie has to come from somewhere and she wouldnt normally do this but we couldnt even get hold of them. We tried for a week with only answering machines or putting on hold that eventually cut us off! We thought after a week either she had lied or they thought it wasnt serious. We did eventually get through and the front desk or operator put us though to the lady who was handling our case only for another answering machine! Police said it was going to be filed or something meaning nothing more will be done told the grandmother but its now been 3 months nearly 4 since we saw her. Not once did cyfs investigate. 1.We couldnt get hold of them. 2. what if the allegation was serious? I have 6 other children who also could be at risk. Any allegation of abuse should be investigated. Does this mean if i suspect the grandmother they will do nothing? still dont understand my stepdaughter telling these lies…it has meant she has missed out on numerous sibling birthdays and family occasions and I did everthing for her πŸ™ Ill say one thing, Im a woman and I know another case of someone close and I think the FC and CYFS are terrible towards dads. and I feel for the other dads.

    Comment by Jenny — Sat 23rd March 2013 @ 9:52 pm

  33. Do you know what Ive learnt through the whole family court process (nothing to do with cyfs sorry) I have a 10 y/o boy who has a different father he wasnt on the birth certificate due to wanting DNA testing, hes only started regular contact in the last 2 years, but did see him his whole life, but I could move with out his say so and I learnt women could just move and the FC would do nothing for my son and his father for nearly 2 years if anything at all. And with 6 other children they would unlikely make me move back so he would prob at most win contact, but imgagine the costs involved getting contact especially if I moved far away. Luckily I love my kids and wouldnt do it and think my ex is awesome, but still this is what FC are teaching other women and I guess men, but Ive only ever seen and heard about women doing it.

    Comment by Jenny — Sat 23rd March 2013 @ 9:59 pm

  34. Jenny .. check your others folder in your messages πŸ˜€

    Comment by Lovelee Leigh — Sat 23rd March 2013 @ 10:02 pm

  35. on Facebook sorry πŸ˜€

    Comment by Lovelee Leigh — Sat 23rd March 2013 @ 10:03 pm

  36. When responding to #1 Had_Enough’s “CYF, do they do anything useful”, my opinion is that CYF as an agency of the crown acts ethically in its obligations. However, the inherently difficult nature of work that it is required to do and the importance of that work in terms of outcomes for vulnerable children in our society combines to create greater challenges that at times are complex when actings as catalysts for change in the prevention and intervention of child abuse and neglect in New Zealand.

    Comment by Anon — Sun 5th May 2013 @ 1:46 pm

  37. Or to put it simply, It’s employees are all to often seen to be driven by personal agenda’s and hatred, rather than the lovingly caring for children they take!

    Comment by Gwahir — Sun 5th May 2013 @ 2:49 pm

  38. #37 often “seen” by who and driven by “what” personal agenda’s specifically? “What does “loving care” look like to you?

    Comment by Anon — Tue 18th June 2013 @ 1:26 pm

  39. Seen by = the the majority of the community. Personal agenda = pursueing a goal out of step with the majority of the community. Loving care can be found in conventional families, Father & Mother (of children) stable, children born the the father & Mother. Trying to live by bible principoals.

    If this is an attempt by a person I think it is no further posts will be made, none the less it is an interesting topic for debate – Provided it remains denate. We stay downwind or in the ………. side of shelter!

    Comment by Gwahir — Tue 18th June 2013 @ 1:50 pm

  40. Cyfs is rubbish!! A good parent is good parent regardless of what sex you are. I’ve been dealing with them and have found that age will always conquer anything! Being a young mother I’ve had to fight hard and still am and it is shit! Good for you putting it out there cyfs have got to start taking responsibility for their mess ups, it’s just too sad for our babies that we have moronic insolent people working in such high places. I endeavour to have them held responsible for all they have failed to do for us and other families, should I have to infiltrate their organisation myself lol. Good luck to you and your daughter and hopes for her mother to get well.

    Comment by Shan — Sat 3rd August 2013 @ 8:57 pm

  41. CYFS are all a bunch of oxygen thieves who think they a law onto themselves they claim they there for the family/whanua this would be the case if after they received the complaint they actually done there job and investigated it properly. But once they receive the complaint they in there heads have made up there mind you are guilty and don’t really care about the safety of the children or what effect this has on the family as a unit or individual. to them its all about the budget and making sure they keep the stats up to keep there allocated budget for this. They have failed not only our children, families but they have also failed the community in more ways than one and I think it is time for them to have a shake up as most of them aren’t or don’t care as to them its a job but its more than that they are playing with not only our young ones lives but there safety as well as families. and it this rubbish this is why families become more distant from each other. and it is just sad and my reason for this view is I have a new born baby the mother doesn’t want the baby I have put my hand up but because its a girl and a new born they are rather putting her in foster care than with me the father as they in there heads I am incompetent of looking after a new born or cant be trusted with a little girl. but I got news for them I am not going any where and I will keep going forward till myself and my little girl are together.

    Comment by Ryan — Wed 16th October 2013 @ 12:32 am

  42. You fight a long lonely battle sorry Ryan.

    CYF are necessary, There are some parents – And I will not judge anybody – who for whatever reason never developed nurturing skills, CYF need their powers to protect these young people. Remember the adage “All power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely”

    In the vast majority of cases CYF blunder in like a bulldozer followed by a wrecking ball (aka as the family court)CYF have an industry to feed (A defacto adoption agency called “Home for Life “H4L”) You are correct Social workers are more concerned about meeting targets than about children and their families! The same can be said of the multiplicity of sychophants hanging of their largesse. They claim independence . . . . Remember “He who pays the piper calls the tune!

    Good luck. We believe you! there is much support here!

    Comment by Alastair — Wed 16th October 2013 @ 7:04 am

  43. Alastair; CYFS in it’s current form is NOT NECESSARY!!! Yes there is legislation designed to protect vulnerable children; however I do not believe CYFS personnel are capable of comprehending, let alone interpreting that legislation correctly. As such they are, almost without exception, the wrong people to be exercising judgement on the future of children, families and society as a whole. CYFS have no interest in maintaining the integrity or dignity of the family in society; it is an organization staffed by a large number of angry woman with an agenda of revenge, predominantly against men!!

    In all of my dealings with CYFS; I only ever encountered people of low social, intellectual and emotional intelligence. It was a total embarrassment to actually have to deal with them. Their skills were limited to (inaccurate) box ticking and signing off false “formula affidavits”. If the people of New Zealand have delegated the responsibility of maintaining the sanctity of children and families to CYFS; then it really does show that New Zealanders just don’t care!!

    Comment by Bruce S — Wed 16th October 2013 @ 11:04 am

  44. I agree Bruce. However, just as we need Traffic cops to aprehend idiots, but not simplyy achieve targets and gather revenue, so we need CYF for the incapable parents but not to persecute those who mey need a little short term support. Post Natal Depression is a recognised condition, it is simpler to provide helps for both mother and father, than steal the child, very probabally destroying the parents as well. I suggest this is one reason so many are unsupportive of the organisation. My own research suggests that over 60% of those social workers coming to my attention were not registered. i.e. Did they hold any qualifications at all? To clarify, to gain registration the candidate must hold a qualification acceptable to the Social Workers Registration Board plus a certificate of competencey approved by the board. It is true to competency must be demonstrated, but where is the assessor? All in all from field practices, Check sheets & assessing by a formula an assessment of competency! From this, I believe your description is a fair assessment.

    Comment by Alastair — Wed 16th October 2013 @ 12:32 pm

  45. @Alistair (#44) …traffic cops use quantitative, objective and provable methods to determine the culpability of an alleged transgressor. CYFS do not; you are guilty (of heaven knows what) by any subjective determination they see fit!

    I do not question the need to protect vulnerable children; however the army of ignorant peasants chosen to provide that “protection” are totally unsuited to the job. Just ask any kid who has had any contact with CYFS and they will seldom, if ever have anything but contempt for these people. CYFS “people” (wrong word, benefit of the doubt) are frequently described by these kids (in adult words here) as deceptive, pathological liars with no sense of empathy. Great way for kids to observe the behaviour of any adult….CYFS as role models for our children? I’d rather not, thank you!

    Comment by Bruce S — Wed 16th October 2013 @ 1:11 pm

  46. CYFS publicly portray themselves as doing things for the father yet do not have this in there practice at all. and this is in every town/city in New Zealand I have driven to a number of places trying to find different answers for my situation and I get the same answer. which is wrong on all accounts apparently men can’t love there children as much as a mother and if we try stand our ground and fight for our children we are aggressive and could be a potential DOMESTIC violent offender to our child. If we try and fight for our daughter we get looked as if we are some kind of weirdo which isn’t right at all. I am also in favour of having such a place like CYFS I just think it should be a equal playing field. If a man takes no interest in his child he gets put into the category of been a dead beat and if a man fights for his child he gets put into the category of been aggressive or why do you want your child so much what are your intentions with your child.

    Comment by Ryan — Wed 16th October 2013 @ 3:31 pm

  47. I think we definitely need a government organisation to look after child welfare. There are many parents in our society who have had no good role model and have little idea of how to care for children. I have met many fathers who have the best of intentions, but who have grown up in situations where fathers basically don’t exist. In addition, many parents have been psychologically damaged by their own abusive upbringing.

    I agree that CYF doesn’t perform very well. Many of the worst abuse cases we read about are families who have already come to CYF attention. Children who get taken into CYF care do not tend to have positive outcomes.

    I have been told by several ex-organisation workers that the internal culture is pretty dysfunctional. Staff are treated as badly as clients by senior management. Consequentlly they have a rapid turnover of frontline social workers, and little supervision by people with wisdom and experience. This is also why they have to employ workers without the appropriate qualifications.

    The focus does often seem to be on destroying families rather than supporting them. I also think that there is too much attention paid to relatively complient, middle-class families, because the genuinely dangerous parents are just too scary to deal with.

    I think it would be very revealing to see exactly how CYF spends its budget. What are the priorities? Which organisations receive funding from them?

    Comment by JohnPotter — Wed 16th October 2013 @ 8:46 pm

  48. I see so many concerns and all of us raising good point but why haven’t we started or done anything about this is it because we have been judged that when a man stands up for him self he is aggressive. that we come on here and blow of some steam and then feel better about the situation for those few minutes or hours but it doesen’t change the situation we are all still in. Is it because these organisations and FC treat us so different that us as men are choosing to try and fly under the radar so we don’t attract attention to us so the cant justify why we are treated so different under these systems. Society says lets be equal which I have no problem but then we also need to be treated equal not only on the sports grounds work places or the streets but in the court system as well. we need to pick up our balls put them back between our legs stand up for what we believe in.

    Comment by Ryan — Thu 17th October 2013 @ 11:30 am

  49. @Ryan (#48); Hi Ryan; you pose some seriously good questions for which there should be simple answers and ultimately solutions; but there aren’t. If you read the logo at the homepage of MENZ; you will see this – “promoting a clearer understanding of men’s experience”.

    So what you are talking about is your experience and it really is no different from the experiences of many of the men who either visit or contribute to this site. In very simple terms; men are not stupid. When engaged in a battle where the odds are so highly stacked against you; the smart commander(s) will order a retreat where tactics and strategy can be re-visited with a clear sense of purpose. You can not plan in the middle of a fire fight; you can only hope to survive. More often than not; survival tactics employed in the midst of a fire fight will merely exacerbate the seriousness of you situation and ultimately only hasten your demise.

    What you are seeing from the majority of reasonably smart and intelligent men now is the withdrawal and regroup phase. We just will not engage in the social structure where our only function is seen as the funding of the promotion of feminism. This is a battle of the rights of men; to dismantle the duplicitous radical feminists who puppeteer a weak judiciary; weak politicians and a roboticized, mindless bureaucracy.

    I know this all sounds like gobbledygook; it’s not! This is the reality in which many men in the western world are enslaved by today.

    Can I suggest you read this: it may help you make sense of the mess we are in and may also explain why so many of the questions you have, remain unanswered…….

    In any event; do NOT despair; I went through the mill with the nasty family court; the evil empire at CYFS and at the end of it all; my 18 year old daughter and I have always got on famously even if we were separated and despite what she heard from her mother and CYFS.

    Sometimes you really DO have to wait for good things to happen! Now that she is 18, my daughter only has contempt for those who deprived us of our father daughter relationship…..just remember; you will always want your daughter to see you in a good light; do not let the system change that. Keep focused on your daughter and her wellbeing and what is best for her; ignore the noise from the petty small people who will try to manipulate that relationship. They don’t deserve one iota of your time!!

    Comment by Bruce S — Thu 17th October 2013 @ 2:32 pm

  50. The core problem is simple. CYF have absolutely NO complaints system. The best they offer is the Chief Executive’s panel Independent – well Yeah Right!

    It was best described as a group of people sitting in a circle pointing to the person immediately to their right and refering the complainant to them for a reply!

    At least the police make a pretence of an Independent Complaints aithority! The police take action when one strays.

    Here is CYF’s problem in a nutshell. Remember Justice must not only be done. It must be seen to be done!

    Comment by Alastair — Thu 17th October 2013 @ 8:13 pm

  51. <—- this is a site I came across thought may be interesting how child protection works in new Zealand

    Comment by Ryan — Tue 22nd October 2013 @ 8:54 pm

  52. Hmmmmmmmm until you read who is behind it,

    The Secretary of a well discredited Anti CYF organisation.

    All the facts are correct, except it doesn’t mention what you can do to help your self.

    Comment by Alastair — Tue 22nd October 2013 @ 9:20 pm

  53. Thanks for finding the link Ryan. This may also be interesting to ‘others’.

    I can assist cases where possible and refer you on if I can’t. My contact is [email protected]


    Alistair, you make life hard for ‘others’ with comments like the above. You were with me when I presented that material and you were happy to speak alongside me and a couple of others. It was a worthwhile presentation and it made an impact where needed, IMO.

    I am well aware at how relationships between leaders have deteriorated since then and I know that happens a lot. All I will say is, ‘drop the ball, put others first’ for I believe that’s the only way forward. It’s the ‘others’ that need the attention for they are losing their children and when you put them first, you don’t have interest in warring, IMO.

    But that’s up to you as it’s up to other leaders. Perhaps you have some links to groups that can help?

    Comment by Julie — Wed 23rd October 2013 @ 1:42 pm

  54. Ryan, I have replied to Julie privately though I reject many of her allegations.

    Julie and Single Parents has over the years developed much intregriry.

    Comment by Alastair — Wed 23rd October 2013 @ 7:39 pm

  55. hi just wanted to find out if anyone can help me on a issue if a mom does not want her child does cyfs have to get involved if she wants you to take the child from her?

    Comment by Ryan — Sun 17th November 2013 @ 3:47 pm

  56. Don’t involve CYPS in your life, they’re a bunch of feminist shitheads.

    Comment by Downunder — Sun 17th November 2013 @ 4:03 pm

  57. Ryan, I endorse downunders comment! I suggest you contact “Union of Fathers” (Advertisment on this page,

    Comment by Alastair — Sun 17th November 2013 @ 6:43 pm

  58. CYPS have statutory obligations that they are required to meet.My experience is that the people who are on the front line take orders from those higher up the corporate ladder despite evidence to the contrary. I have no idea why anyone would want to be part of an organisation that does not support the individuals assessment of a situation. I mean come on “you didn’t have to be a genius to see that my child was being psychologically abused.By the way not enough empahasis is placed on psychological abuse.But children are to be protected from all forms of abuse. And my understanding of “alienation” falls under that category.

    Comment by clenz — Sun 17th November 2013 @ 9:17 pm

  59. Ryan, no cyf don’t deal with family matters unless there is concern for a child’s safety. I would suggest talking to a community lawyer to find out how to file in the Family Court to make things official.

    Comment by Julie — Sun 17th November 2013 @ 11:27 pm

  60. thanks guys for your help really appreciated. well I agree with you guys I wasn’t sure so thought I would check yes I know cyfs should be more like cyts (child youth trafficking services but anyway if the cant click the docket they not to keen. yeah cyfs do seem to have a double edge sword policy. if the mom is horrible or abusive to the child no no what has happened to this woman it must of been because of a man. problem its all built on the old rap crisis structure and needs a good rebuild of it as the foundation it is built on was by woman for woman which I think it shouldn’t be as they are there to put our children 1st and not base it on gender but best interest of our children but I am pretty sure we will have to wait for a mother to go like totally off the rails before men get equal stature.

    Comment by Ryan — Tue 19th November 2013 @ 10:54 pm

  61. Please Facebook me guys. Jason Toi. The email I have does exist as mine but I got another1 I don’t want to give out. I’ll PDF info that is clear blatant lies. Not 100 pages. 20. But yeah. CYF are not even answering my complaints anymore.

    Comment by Jay — Sun 6th December 2015 @ 7:40 am

  62. no child should be kidnapped from 5050 parental rights against their will and without trial by jury of the community.

    anyone who thinks differently is probably a paedophile.

    Comment by phil watts — Sun 6th December 2015 @ 10:58 am

  63. Mmm, so ‘phil watts’ (#62), anyone who might dare to think differently from you is probably a paedophile. That claim is irrational and is described as a ‘Code White’ method of invalid argument in a list of feminist shaming tactics used against anyone who disagrees with feminist claims.

    Comment by Man X Norton — Sun 6th December 2015 @ 11:33 am

  64. Jay, thanks for making contact with me. If you want to protest, I will stand by you. πŸ™‚

    Comment by julie — Sun 6th December 2015 @ 4:40 pm

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