I am going to meet with a woman politician. I dont believe she is a feminist.
Yep I could be wrong but she seems very interested in mens rights. I dont want to sit around and wait and see what happens and create summaries when men get screwed by systemstic discrimination. If you want to sit there.. then ok, but you can still help. Can you add statistics… rephrase my questions?
I know you’re all good at this.
I need your help to be factually presentable and present questions – that will get answered!
So this Is a chance to have some fairly top brass look into mens rights or the lack of them espesially with regards to domestic violence. I want to be able to point out some facts and stats that prove men are disadvantaged and discriminated against.If I just rave on about my own situation its percieved as whinging,  I want to speak for men in general. . I believe her main concern is that men have no refuges and little support after violence. Please help me with any statistics on these matters.
Is it true… that more women claim to have hit thier partners, than claim to have ever been hit themselves?
Is it true that in more than half of intimate partner assaults the perpetrator is a woman. ? Is it true that 2/3 of intimate partner murders are women. ?What other facts can I offer. ? Some other statistics id love to know are:
How many men are arrested for d/v each year and how many women?
And how many of those arrested women had actually assaulted a police officer?
If a man reports he has been assaulted by a female ,  what chance that results in the females arrest?
And – What percentage of the same report results in the man himself getting arrested?
How many men , each year  are ejected from thier homes without being found guilty of anything?
How many women vare ejected from thier homes each year?
If its more men getting kicked out more why isnt there any support for them?ÂÂ
What percentage of the domestic violence billions of $ goes towards helping male victims?
What is the rate of recidivism among violent offenders?
Is It  expected to be reduced by giving aviva more money and endlessly repeating..its not ok?
What percentage of violent men have had prior dealings with the family court. ?
How many children loose access or rights to thier fathers thanks to family court each year?
If alcohol and drugs are considered common factors contributing to large pecentages of cases of d/v –in  how many cases are personality disorders considered a factor?
Why are these ignored?
What evidence can I provide that women recieve lesser penalties for violent crime. ?
What else is there thats relevant in this battle?
What other general facts can I point out about follow on effects of discrimination in law, war  suicide , education, employment ,limit 20 pages )
If a man speaks in the forest but there’s no woman around to hear him,  is he still wrong?
I need some ammo to go to town with. Dont forget. If good men do nothing. Bad shit happens. !ÂÂ
Give me what you have so I can take it to my mp and whoever else needs to see and hear it. !,,
Are any of you interested in rewriting this list and adding your points. Pehaps stating things from your own educated perspective.
As you can guess, the written word is not my chosen trade.
Can you help me get these inportant pionts accross?
Which questions should be asked first and how should they be phrased. ?
If not now ??? When?? Speak up. !!!
Why the UK Hotmail account?
Comment by Friggin' Nora — Mon 4th August 2014 @ 7:49 pm
What difference does it make which ip I use ?
Are you offended by hotmail or is it inappropriate that I posted an email address.?
Im a bit new at this so please explain your question.
Comment by dunnuffinwrong — Mon 4th August 2014 @ 7:59 pm
If you want to know how many men’s refuges there are, I would ask women’s refuges and women’s centres and the It’s Not OK contact. Not all staff of women’s refuges or hotline’s are well informed and the majority of workers for women’s refuges are volunteers so it’s best to phone around, IMO.
You could ask the Families Commission and Obuds-persons.
For domestic violence on men, I would reach out to South Auckland for they seem to have the most. For research on male victims I would approach a Family Centre. I can send you information but you can get better up-to-date information yourself. NZ follows an England’s men’s hotline. (google UK men’s hotline, lol)
The Families Commission also has stats for DV. I think every few years they get the police to write down every victim of DV. Men usually go under general assault but in the years this particular research occurs, they get collected separately.
Hope that helps.
Comment by julie — Mon 4th August 2014 @ 11:14 pm
I feel really bad because my information can look like it’s contradicting men’s information (depending on reader’s knowledge). This is not my intention while I respect men need somewhere to release frustration. It’s not like there’s places where men are safe from retribution for speaking their mind, right or wrong. There has been [men’s] suicides over retribution, making it important to consider using a pseudonym.
The reason I have shared information about existing men’s refuges and DV stats is because dunnuffingwrong has brothers (just like him) who have been protesting and creating awareness over past years. For example, one man walked with an empty pram to Parliament where he was met by a female politician.
Other, various, types of protesting and awareness measures had an impact on society too yet men haven’t shared the results of their actions so readers are unaware of progress.
Do you know that a woman’s refuge in South Auckland was told they had to share resources with a men’s refuge by authorities? They verbally protested against the opening of a men’s refuge.
Did you know protest led to a meeting between feminist organisations such as Plunket and that they argued there wasn’t enough resources to duplicate women’s groups for men and so they decided to intergrate services so we now have father’s support meetings at Plunket offices?
I know men involved with this site are aware men as an interest group will sit within the MSD alongside women’s leaders, Maori, Grandparents raising grandchildren, Birhright for single parents and on and on goes the list.
A speaker for the It’s not OK campaign who travels the country speaking in schools, etc, told a small group of men that they were looking at a large building with storeys in Ellerslie, Auckland, for a men’s refuge.
There is a men’s refuge in Gisbourne that would like to offer more to male victims of DV. They work with the women’s refuge in their area and probably women’s groups.
Both Man Alive and Central Auckland’s women’s centre boast that they work together.
…………
It seems the community that used to attack men standing up has now got behind the men.
…………
Anyhoo, men are still having to fight for total inclusion. It’s great to see communication happening between a female politician and a men’s advocate. Well done donenuffingwrong. All the best wishes to you.
Comment by julie — Tue 5th August 2014 @ 5:27 am
Do think she would support switches on the light poles beside park benches.
Maybe even a few more park benches too.
Comment by Downunder — Tue 5th August 2014 @ 8:31 am
Nice, some very good questions to put to them, please keep us informed of the answers, have shared this with our site members 🙂
Comment by Dominic da Silva — Tue 5th August 2014 @ 10:44 am
As well as Dominic’s and my page NZ Men Fed Up With Family Court(greedy/corrupt Lawyer/Judges) I am starting to set up a NZ wide Men’s Refuge starting in Wellington Region.
Ideas and men’s stories wanted please: [email protected]
Comment by Phil Watts — Tue 5th August 2014 @ 12:42 pm
with Dominic of course and anyone else who wishes to help, the more the merrier, as men are discriminated against in almost all ‘domestic violence’ cases by the police and the sexism that is rife within the injustice system due to 30 years of sexist feminist male hating propaganda.
Comment by Phil Watts — Tue 5th August 2014 @ 12:45 pm
Statistics from the NZ Police are useless as they are anti male and ignore crimes by females against males 99% of the time as you can see for yourself.
Greg Hallett in his book ‘Are You My Father’ has far more accurate and realistic statistics which will still be very accurate.
Please keep us informed of your progress.
Comment by Phil Watts — Tue 5th August 2014 @ 1:15 pm
Phil at 7 Great Idea – if you author a post and use the heading Wellington Men’s refuge or similar, that will be easy to search and it is also a place to provide further information. You can edit and modify the post.
Comment by Downunder — Tue 5th August 2014 @ 3:15 pm
Good initiative Phil#7 & Downunder#10. Let me know if I can of any assistance….
Comment by Kumar — Tue 5th August 2014 @ 3:48 pm
Thanks for sharing Phil,
I will try to get my hands on that for I’d like to know more NZ stats. 🙂
…………
Well done Dominic and others. Keep up the good work. 🙂
Comment by julie — Tue 5th August 2014 @ 6:58 pm
I just went out of my way to go and listen to a politician talk today, John Key.
I wasted my time. Rhetoric, with no substance. Sad, I had some hope of change.
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 5th August 2014 @ 7:30 pm
In my opinion, some of Greg Hallett’s statistics are pretty dodgy, despite his good intentions.
Unless you can find confirmation from a primary source I wouldn’t advise quoting him.
Comment by JohnPotter — Tue 5th August 2014 @ 7:54 pm
New Zealand Family Violence Clearinghouse Statistics Fact Sheet October 2007
This is an example of an entity that should be taken to court for Bigotry
Look at the references for their ideas, all man hating bigot literature and self serving research
Where is the intimate research of the dynamics of female vs male violence.
Where is the intimate research of the dynamics of female vs male sexual violence.
University of Canterbury? Close it down Human Rights Commissioner.
University of Auckland? Close it down Human Rights Commissioner.
Yes its full of man hating bigots lying to our children.
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 5th August 2014 @ 9:21 pm
The 2001 National Survey of Crime Victims found 14.4% of men and 21.2% of women had been hit, kicked or pushed by their heterosexual partner at least once in their life-time.However, when asked about being fearful, 8% of men, compared to 19.5% of women said they had been frightened by their partner’s threats.
In 2005 92% of those applying for Protection Orders were female.
Can you see the bullshit yet Police, Judges, Human Rights Commissioner.
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 5th August 2014 @ 9:27 pm
Research suggests that most women’s violence towards men is self-defensive or retaliatory
How is lying on the birth certificate self-defensive or retaliatory. Its Power and Control.
How is lying about being on the pill self-defensive or retaliatory. Its Power and Control.
Can you see the bullshit yet Police, Judges, Human Rights Commissioner.
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 5th August 2014 @ 9:35 pm
Partner violence experienced by women has been found to be closely associated with a range of negative physical and mental health effects including bruises and abrasions, fractures, internal injuries, severe menstrual problems, urinary tract infections, sexually transmitted infections (STI), non-specifi c pelvic pain, pelvic infl ammatory disease, along with depression and suicide attempts.
What, no discussion by these bigot government funded human rights violators, about men.
What women don’t give men STDs
What men don’t commit suicide.
Can you see the bullshit yet Police, Judges, Human Rights Commissioner.
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 5th August 2014 @ 9:42 pm
Research conducted in Auckland and Waikato found that female victims of intimate partner violence were twice as likely as non-victims to have visited a healthcare provider during the previous month.
Lets not discuss intellect, they work at universities.
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 5th August 2014 @ 9:44 pm
Differences in violence by men and women
Research has repeatedly demonstrated that once attention to the issues of context, meaning, motivation, and consequences of violence are included it becomes clear that there is not a gender symmetry in partner violence – it is men’s violence against women and children that is the most significant social problem.
Leave out the facts, yes your reference research, and you can say whatever you like.
University of Canterbury? Close it down Human Rights Commissioner.
University of Auckland? Close it down Human Rights Commissioner.
Yes its full of man hating bigots lying to our children.
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 5th August 2014 @ 9:52 pm
Children, child maltreatment and intimate partner violence: Research, policy and practice
A one-day conference co-hosted by the Families Commission and the New Zealand Family Violence Clearinghouse.
You see that Human Rights Commissioner. They collude with other commissions, presenting there bigot propaganda together.
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 5th August 2014 @ 10:35 pm
Table 15: Number of serious non-fatal assaultive hospital admissions
What about the men. Guess if you don’t record injuries, you cant report on the facts.
Just to let the Ministry of Health know that helping the Families Commission in creating sexually bigoted research IS NOT OK!
Comment by The man in Absentia — Tue 5th August 2014 @ 10:51 pm
#14 John’s comment about Greg’s statistics are correct, unfortunately. One comment about the increase in risk of youth suicide, due to being fatherless, I tracked Greg’s references, but could not find the details quoted. This involved checking refs of refs, but still not the exact quotations.
Similar problems exist in many books, not just Greg’s.
Comment by MurrayBacon — Wed 6th August 2014 @ 8:51 am
John says,
Good to know. I’m tempted to make comment on his book ‘New Zealand – A Blackmailer’s Guide.’hehe. (gossip sure is addictive, lol)
Here’s the link to the book, ‘Are you my father?‘
Comment by julie — Wed 6th August 2014 @ 9:06 am
Murray,
Such a shame you could not find something solid. I’d love awareness of this out in the public.
Do you remember that suicide presentation we did together? Do you remember the mother who spoke about her son who was medicated? He committed suicide on his father’s birthday. Mental Health found his dad for him, but he wanted nothing to do with his son. (for a reason that will be valid to him)
Comment by julie — Wed 6th August 2014 @ 9:30 am
You seem a bit confused about the way universities work, Mr Absentia.
Because they are deliberately set up to promote academic freedom, researchers have a wide range of ideologies and capabilities. The fact that someone works at Canterbury or Auckland University tells you absolutely nothing (positive or negative) about the reliability of their conclusions.
Proper scientific research will have been published in a reputable peer-reviewed journal.
Domestic violence “advocacy research”, on the other hand, is typically presented by feminist organisations (such as the Family Violence Clearinghouse) without proper references, or published in biased, feminist-controlled journals.
There is a huge amount of accurate, gender neutral information about partner violence available, so it is important to learn to evaluate different sources.
Disclosure: this website is partly supported by the salary of my wife, who is a professor at UOA.
Comment by JohnPotter — Wed 6th August 2014 @ 9:38 am
I suspect (and it’s my experience) that trying to reunite alienated children comes with the expectation that the child’s opinion/belief/world view (which is actually their mother’s)will be validated.
Contacting a father and then telling a child he doesn’t want anything to do with him is not a smart thing to do, that could easily be a driver for a suicide and being on the father’s birthday, then it most likely was a statement to that effect.
I would also suggest that a father son situation is more difficult to deal with than a father daughter situation.
Either way they are situations that have been conveniently ignored by the Family Court for the sake of the ‘Mental Health of the Mother’.
Better to address the behaviour of mothers than trying to repair the damage, but thay may not be an issue a female politician (even a non-feminist one) wants to tackle.
Comment by Downunder — Wed 6th August 2014 @ 10:24 am
Dear John Potter and Murray Bacon,
I am disappointed that you would waste your time and energy by attacking your fellow Mens Rights Advocates while defending the bullshite stats of all the Govt Funded Organisations which as The man in Absentia states are only as good as their reference material (which does not include males as most males do not report or admit assaults or complain to the police and when they do complain to the police the police invariably punish the man for daring to complain.
We all know that non of the ‘domestic violence research’ is worth the paper it is printed on.
You would do far better to join with me and other MRA’s and actually act like MRA’s or are you like the trolls from the Govt that go on social media in order to sabotage it?
my email is near the start of this thread – please contact me and prove yourselves.
Phil Watts
Comment by Phil Watts — Wed 6th August 2014 @ 10:33 am
Kumar #11
I have posted to this thread my email and asked you and all to contact me.
You posted anonymously just after and said
“Good initiative Phil#7 & Downunder#10. Let me know if I can of any assistance”¦.” I hope you have the intelligence to realise the problem with what you have said.
p
Comment by Phil Watts — Wed 6th August 2014 @ 10:36 am
Further, Murray and John P,
Greg Hallet’s book ‘Are You My Father’ statistics may be partly speculative but to one with above average intelligence and superior sense they make far more sense than the easily disproven Feminist stats.
Your partial and unnecessary rebuttals of his book do not contain any actual references to what you have specifically rebutted, and read very similar to many psychotic females rants that they are given ‘Protection’ Orders for.
I wonder if you are really MRA’s?
Please refer us to your rebuttals of feminist bullshite stats on this site and in media and to the government.END
p
Comment by Phil Watts — Wed 6th August 2014 @ 11:11 am
The man in Absentia,
Thank you for your logical and pertinent points regarding the fact that there is an obvious absence of the fact that there is a far greater number of male victims of female violence (than vice versa) from almost all ‘domestic violence’ research.
I don’t know of any non-sexist non anti-male research. Does anyone else? 5 lines END.
P
Comment by Phil Watts — Wed 6th August 2014 @ 11:44 am
Phil…
Comment by MurrayBacon — Wed 6th August 2014 @ 12:05 pm
I’ve been called a lot of nasty things before, but never a “Feminist troll”!
Phil says:
I haven’t attacked anyone – I simply pointed out the fact that many of the statistics in “Are You My Father” are not reliable, and should not be quoted without careful checking.
I’ve known Greg for over 30 years. I built a website for him to promote the book (now defunct), and attended & publicised the launch.
I suggest you start here: http://menz.org.nz/Information/domestic.htm
and
There is lots of good (ie: non-feminist) domestic violence research, which overwhelmingly shows that violence is initiated by women as often or more than it is by men. You can find some of it on this page: http://menz.org.nz/Information/dvresearch.htm.
If I really was a feminist troll Phil, you can be sure your ability to post on this site would be ended forthwith 🙂
Comment by JohnPotter — Wed 6th August 2014 @ 1:19 pm
I cannot offer statistics, but after 21 years of Police Service, I know for sure that the main antagonists in Domestic Violence are female. Unfortunately, when the male of the species responds to violence with violence and the antagonist is female, she is likely to come second, because of his, dare I say, ‘superior’ strength. You would think that the hardwired biological fact of being physically equipped to go out and wrestle with buffalo to bring home steak and fresh liver for the family, would tend to suggest to the female of the species that a physical confrontation with the old man probably isn’t a good idea. Not so. And, of course, when she comes second, there has to be the obligatory inquisition. When he comes second, and that happens a lot more often than people might think, because retaliation against a woman has never been good form, nobody gets to know. According to today’s (Western) society, when women snap, it is simply because they are a victim of men’s oppression. When men snap, they are criminal, rapist, violent bastard, and forty paragraphs of other things, all of which deserve incarceration, castration, or worse. Hello. Everyone has feelings, manifest or not, and everyone has a point at which they will take no more. My experience is, that generally, men are far, far more tolerant and even-tempered than women. But that tolerance will lead men to do nothing about the leap of the last forty years towards kow-towing to these stupid claims of men’s oppression of women, and accept what happens. Western democratic governments, historically populated by men, have leapt at the opportunity that feminism provides, to cultivate disharmony among the ordinary throng. Do you think they clambered eagerly upon that Bandwagon because it was ‘right?’ Because there was a real need for it? It is nothing more than a self-serving mindset, and feminism only stumbled upon that as an opportunity. When there is disharmony, Governments can declare, “Look at the situation we are in. We need more Government. Thank goodness we are here to help.” Self serving? Oh yes- but not surprising. Even a war-mongering Government will concede that the result of an insidious, festering discord within a supposedly civilised society is similar to all-out war, in terms of the need to maintain control with more legislation, litigation power and purpose, but without the cost of a real international theatre of conflict, which might also have trade sanctions and myriad other drawbacks. Governments do not want harmony, it is not in their interest.
Don’t know if you can actually use any of this, but I applaud your conviction, dunniffinrong, and wish you the best. Rant over. There is more if you want it….but……I am just an ornerybloke.
Comment by ornerybloke — Wed 6th August 2014 @ 11:29 pm
Thankyou for that comprehensive responce.
Whats so frustrating for me is that even when my partner has claimed in her statment that I was not wanting to argue and this made her very angry and she hit me in the head…yet no one asked if I was hurt. There were no questions just searched at a police car in front of my neighbours and taken away to spend 50 hours sitting alone in a small cell.never allowed to return. All rights to my belongings removed.
The police called me to the station urgently on friday.
Two men who I assume are policemen sat me down and told me. “There is no baby”” I swear they just do it yo piss me off as one of the same men gave me that information in documentation six weeks ago while issuing a temp protection order.
We cant think of any reason why she would lie he said. I was told as there is so much violence goes unreported – “were not arresting enough men”
The frustrating part is that if I had complained of assault I would likely have been arrested also as in 25% of cases in the uk. Theres no stats available for nz that Ive found yet.
They would rather believe that a woman has been savagly brutilised repeatedly by a strong man .. even when theres no injuries consistent with any assault. Never does anyone consider that she just might be untruthful. But as she is named a vitim after making a statment- a man who has not been ever accused or charged with violence is automatically considered and treated as a guilty perpetrator. Expelled from my home and treated with systematic contempt. Vilified and outcast. By the time my case comes to trial , many will just assume the lawyer got me off.
Because im a man. Im considered guilty. Not if I was accused by another man , but because a woman has accused me..I must be guilty.even when evidence defeats all likelyhood of the accusation being correct. Im hoping the judge has more common sence.
I read the policemans oath on the wall. It says “without favour”
What a load of crap that is.
Comment by William Baldwin — Thu 7th August 2014 @ 12:56 am
Does anyone know where I can buy Greg halletts book are you my father the family courts and other experiments
Comment by MrAlex — Mon 11th August 2014 @ 3:50 pm
You may be able to buy a PDF version for €15 here: http://www.greghallett.com/pages/Are-You-My-Father-The-Family-Court.html.
Comment by JohnPotter — Mon 11th August 2014 @ 5:48 pm
I think whether she is a feminist or not is answered here,
http://menz.org.nz/2014/gendered-justice-in-new-zealand/#comment-771000
Comment by Downunder — Sat 16th August 2014 @ 12:18 pm