MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

Men Can be Victims too

Filed under: Domestic Violence,Gender Politics — JohnPotter @ 8:30 pm Tue 7th January 2014

Michael Coren and Barbara Kay discuss the challenges facing men in modern society – Deadbeat dads – Men have rights too.


  1. so true, i have courts saying don’t care that ex falsely done false affs , yet she is allowed to block seeing my girls

    Comment by Aaron Bell — Tue 7th January 2014 @ 10:23 pm

  2. “There are no consequences for false allegation of abuse”

    It is something that needs to be changed.

    Police does not prosecute criminal harassment and false allegations originating from females.
    District Courts do not accept private prosecutions for this matters.

    I have an upcoming judicial review next month in regards of denied private prosecution of vindictive ex-partner, who raised large number of serious false criminal allegations later proven to be false.

    Prosecution was denied by Police and DC despite presence of solid evidence showing that allegation was made with intent and being aware about falsehood of it.

    Is there any public interest to prevent this case being hidden under the hood by High Court and form a case law foundation for future similar actions?

    Comment by CSA — Tue 7th January 2014 @ 11:24 pm

  3. It seems to be a female trait, to destroy emotionally, physically and financially ex partners A sadder part is they gang up to achieve this.

    As shakespear wrote “Hell knows no fury like a woman scorned”

    Comment by Alastair — Wed 8th January 2014 @ 12:17 am

  4. That’s the sad thing about William Shakespeare – he gets the credit for just about everything going in English literature when a lot of what he produced was from translations of Latin literature.

    Shakespeare was dead and gone long before this phrase was even conceived.

    William Congreve (1670-1729) is also an English playwright and poet, and it is from his play ‘The Mourning Bride’ (1697) that the line comes from …

    “Heaven has no rage, like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury, like a woman scorned.

    Comment by Downunder — Wed 8th January 2014 @ 6:34 am

  5. The beginning looked great!! But then the male commenter started speaking about ‘domestic violence’. It’s as if the men’s movement is about people (men and women) who live…. I don’t know, even the rich areas of countries have a lot of corruption.

    Maybe people really do grow up never seeing violence. I can’t personally comprehend it.

    It reminds me of one man trying to get midwives to care about men’s post natal depression and the midwives turned around and said, “Yeah, when they’re not beating women”. When I tried to explain that you need to accept someone else’s reality and add to it instead of trying to belittle their reality and make only yours important, I got called a misandrist (male hater). BTW, serious physical abuse escalates in the last trimester of pregnancies.

    Why can’t men just add on abused men onto domestic violence problems? Why must they say, “Men get harmed by women, women’s problems are real”. It doesn’t help abused men and it makes women’s fight even more important, IMO.

    Comment by Julie — Wed 8th January 2014 @ 2:57 pm

  6. The kiwi way; an all too true tale of kiwi life…

    Following a swimming class at Primary School we were waiting for the stragglers to finish dressing. I noticed a hair ribbon floating in the pool. As you would, I fished it out and attempted to locate the owner. Being unable to identify her, I placed the ribbon on the edge of the pool. Seeing this another boy laughingly threw it into the middle of the pool. When the owner finally stopped yakking and realised that it was hers drama and tears ensued.

    It was my word against his. With him being the son of the Parent Teacher Association Chairperson and also the girls step brother, I was screwed! So without evidence and apparently on balance of probability, I received ‘six of the best’ from the Principal.

    It’s not as if I was a ‘problem’ student. To the contrary, throughout my schooling I was either first or second in class. This was the one and only time in my schooling that I received corporal punishment.

    No good deed goes unpunished – the kiwi way.

    Even worse is seeing the dross destroy your children.

    Comment by Soothsayer — Thu 9th January 2014 @ 3:07 am

  7. Social Terrorists:

    Helen Clark
    Maurice Williamson
    Peter Dunne
    Brent Jenkins
    Len Brown
    David (c)Rooke
    Sandi Baily
    Andrew Smith
    Andrea Bradley
    Heather McRae
    Lucille Lloyd

    Comment by Soothsayer — Thu 9th January 2014 @ 5:01 am

  8. That’s sad Southsayer. Actually, it’s shocking!!!

    How do you see ‘good deeds’ as an adult because of that experience?

    Comment by Julie — Thu 9th January 2014 @ 5:26 pm

  9. New Zealand is as socially advanced as a poultry farm.

    Comment by Soothsayer — Thu 9th January 2014 @ 6:24 pm

  10. Everytime I look around
    Everytime I look around (Everytime I look around)
    Everytime I look around
    It’s in my face

    Jumped into the Chevy and headed for big lights
    Wanna know the rest? Hey, buy the rights ; )

    Comment by Soothsayer — Thu 9th January 2014 @ 6:56 pm

  11. Can someone send this to the Principal Family Caught judges and CC all the family caught judges in NZ?
    Would there be any political leader or journalist here to show this on a NZ show?

    Comment by kumar — Wed 15th January 2014 @ 12:46 pm

  12. Check this another link:

    Comment by kumar — Wed 15th January 2014 @ 12:55 pm

  13. I’ve very quickly and roughly thrown together an overview whilst intentionally omitting the really nasty details (to be published at a later date).

    When after many years of provable abuse from my hypergamous ex and a short period of separation, my she filed for a divorce, I was approached by my employer and recommended a lawyer (Len Brown). It soon became apparent that he was colluding with my ex’s lawyer. It is my belief that he was a political stooge. To his great annoyance I sought alternative council with Sandi Bailey. Ultimately, she would not allow me to proceed with litigation. I have reason to believe that she was lent on from political office.

    A year earlier (2001) I had respectfully and in good faith (naively) written to the PM concerned with events occurring in NZ society. The result of which was the onset of severe Police harassment that continues to this day. Prior to this, I had not received even as much as a parking ticket!

    With my ex being a senior IRD manager all dealings with the department were unilateral, corrupt and repressive. Neither did I ever receive any response from the family court. I absolutely bent over backwards in every way for the children’s sake, yet in all matters both my ex and the state were brutally oppressive and hostile towards me.

    For four more years I cared for our always delightful children 80% of the time and in so incurring most of their expenses whilst also having to pay her full child support. From their birth I had a profound involvement in all facets of the children’s lives and had for many years been the primary caregiver and also done most of the housework to a very high standard. I have letters from her begging for me to care for the children even more. All the while she would neglect them, abuse them and block my care in attempts to extort more money from me!

    When inevitably my funds ran out, she packed a sad and denied me all access for over two years. There was a bizarre meeting with a SES worker who told me “They are her children” (Her brother also works for the SES). I have since learned that I was removed as their legal guardian. Like all of their actions, I was never consulted. This was typically farcical as by then she had thrown the older child out onto the street at age sixteen!

    There are also examples of severe abuse and victimisation of our children at school. Including a shocking gang bashing instigated by a politically connected principal’s child and being made to make a speech against me! With much difficulty, I obtained a school report in which every field was ‘unsatisfactory’. He had previously consistently obtained high distinctions in several subjects.

    With all contact denied, I began being harassed at my work and “spied on” and bullied by female colleagues. This occurred at several jobs with covert Police involvement. My ex was also active in this.

    Then in 2009, I was yet again being harassed and spied upon at work by government officials. The situation was unbelievably farcical and when I finally confronted the issue my employer was forced to terminate my employment. My statements were completely erased from the reports and letters. The reasons given for my dismissal were poor performance and from out of nowhere, “having an issue with women in positions of authority” (I had just been given accelerated promotion!!!) Glass ceiling – yeah right. I had had the vision to undertake the study, gain experience and obtain an excellent position through extremely hard work. Now positions in this field are in high demand and very well paid. Typical of the NZ government to cut you down and in doing so impoverish you and your children.

    On Christmas Eve of that year, I was arrested without charge and held for four days in solitary confinement. Denied a lawyer, a shower and forced to perform ablutions in front of female Police Officers. They repeatedly tried to antagonise me however I was wise to this and simply asked for a Bible.

    Being unable to see my children and work in NZ, in February 2009 I gained employment teaching girls and boys in Kuwait. I arrived penniless however still paid all child support, fully supported the child she had thrown out and also sponsored two children.

    After about eight months, I began to be harassed by some of my colleagues. Blocking of resources and comments about my “Not being one of the good guys”. They also began wearing pink shirts. I was terminated despite having an excellent appraisal, being higher qualified and better experienced than my colleagues. The following day there was an email about a UN program at the college on sustainable management for women and women’s sport. I had been playing mixed netball at the time. I was also forced to sign papers in Arabic that I would not sue the College before I was allowed to leave Kuwait (I would have stayed should I have found alternative employment).

    Upon leaving Kuwait, I gained employment in Australia and flew over my older son who had been drifting to live with me. Our living conditions were very basic (single bed cabin), I was working huge hours (80+) and getting nowhere but at least he completed some study.
    Then one day I received an abusive phone call from the IRD demanding child support for the child that was living with me! There was harassment and isolation at work and I was unofficially asked if I was a terrorist (really). Thankfully the Australian authorities are wise to these pathetic games. The personal stress and poor quality of life was and remains crushing.

    In stark contrast to NZ, Australia is fantastic, the government is excellent and the ladies of all ages are civil and most often adorable.

    Last year I had to renew my NZ passport while employed in the UAE. Soon afterwards I again began to be harassed at work. This time I not only lost my job but also the equity in an apartment. It is patently clear that the NZ government wishes to destroy me and by proxy our sons.

    The younger child left her home two years ago and I’ve been supporting him from abroad. Yes, she was again fraudulently claiming child support.

    There is also discrimination of ‘single’ males in the workplace for employment, pay, promotion, higher duties and opportunities. The reality is that I have less income and also have children to support.

    I have only quickly glossed over the facts to give you an impression of events. There are many more disturbing incidents and aspects which evidence the complete breakdown of my civil rights. Most often in circumstances where I was also struggling to care for the children!

    I am now in the position of having worked extremely hard for thirty years and being all but destitute. I have lived out of one suit case for the last twelve years.
    The illegal acts against my career and financial plans are now unrecoverable.

    Comment by Soothsayer — Wed 22nd January 2014 @ 5:10 pm

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