Some of you may remember me. I am the dad that wrote about parent alienation, three years ago. Two of my daughters were at the stage of not wanting to see me, so instead of loosing all and being hunted down by the IRD like a pig on the chase, I left for Australia to build a new life for myself. It took a year for me to overturn the CAPS order that the ex had placed on my kids passport, so that my youngest at least could come and visit. These CAPS orders can be placed within a day, but to remove them takes months. You need a lawyer for child and a court hearing.
Anyway, I have moved on. My daughter sees me every holiday and she has integrated well into my new family. My older daughters have never come right.
I haven’t seen a photo of them over three years. Every attempt of contact or goodwill has been met with hostility.
I find myself stalking the internet through friend of friends to see a glimpse of them, with no success. They go under pseudonyms and secret walls and when I ask my youngest daughter, she would protect them by honouring their privacy rights.
I am not the only one. There are many parents that are abused by their kids. Birthdays and Christmas’s are hard, especially when your call is rejected. You may be called by your first name or an arsehole, or worse, whilst their mother sits besides them and gloats.
I hope that one day the word empathy can bring meaning to them and I hope that one day their children will do the same, so that they know how much it hurts. It’s been years, I have lost count. I am dead to them and I have become the stalker, their father. I remember their young faces but that’s all.