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Toothpaste accomplice.

Filed under: General — anon @ 12:34 am Mon 19th May 2014

Please can anyone help with this very difficult situation i am in ?

I am a tradesman here in chch and i have recently been accused and charged with assault.
My partner has started an argument when I returned late – and then after attacking me with an electrical cord and then a wall hung mirror, she then rubbed toothpaste into her chest and neck area then scratched through the toothpaste and gone to my neighbour and claimed that i assaulted her.she has claimed in her statement to police that she was grabbed by the throat and thrown to the ground then held down as she was savagely and repeatedly beaten with punches and kicks, yet she stated that she was somehow otherwise completely uninjured apart from a few scratches and redness to her chest and neck.
The police took a photo of her chest showing redness (rash)and scratches and decided her story was legitamate.(or didn’t care )
The evidence photo shows a few scratches and redness to her chest and neck. But it also shows something else very strange.Somehow oddly , the skin on her hands has changed in colour with a distict yellowing of the skin and a grey purple coluring to her knuckles which looks only similar to the skin on a dead body.I have a very similar skin type and only have experienced this colouring to my skin during severe cold conditions.And even then not nearly so severe. it wasn’t cold.
From some online research i have descovered that toothpaste contains mono laurel phosphate which is a surfactant or foaming agent. This surfactant is highly irritant when applied to skin and i surmise that toothpaste scrubbed into the chest area causes a form of dermal shock that causes blood to drain from limbs and rush to the chest area creating a rash and simulating injury.
Im certain that my partner has used this ploy before and I need to find evidence that the toothpaste has caused the strange skin discolouration. Or find those she has done it to.
I’ve never been accused of assault and have no other charges. Previous or current.

I spent 50 hours in custody.then returned home to find some of my belongings packed in my car and ordered not to return.

Of course I’m angry with police handling of the matter.
But that’s not going to help me prove my innocence.
I have heard of this toothpaste trick described once before from the very same woman and once by her former friend. Apparently as I recall it even has a name.-when she “grabs her neck”.
I’m almost certain she has done this to others and will again unless I can prove pergery.
If anyone can help in any way please email me. Or reply to this post.
I have had a quote of around 8 thousand for representation from a barrister.
So it looks like I’m defending myself.
Its intimidating as I’ve not had any court experiences.
Any advice or referrals are more than appreciated.
Has anyone heard of this cunning ploy to destroy a mans life and reputation and future. ?

11 Responses to “Toothpaste accomplice.”

  1. In my opinion I have been through similar.

    1, make sure you are safe and don’t do anything silly cause you will be extremely pissed off.
    2, think how you can prove this with the people that told you about this
    3, get a lawyer asap sorry they are needed
    4, kiss your house and your stuff goodbye as police will have issued you with a pso or protection order and its gone, this is a classic stich you up and grab.
    5, this has all been planned and is best way to get you out and she keeps kids ect if you have them, and stays in house if what you say is true so be very careful she is ahead of you.
    6, get some support friends and family that know you and know that you did not do it, borrow some money if short of them any true friends and family will be happy as this is a serious situation
    7, Fight everything.

    read the top section of this, “must read”

  2. That is assuming of course it is your house and your wife and you want to fight it, otherwise , walk away fight the charge in court. Sorry to hear.

  3. andrew says:

    I wonder if the case will go to court. Just prepare yourself and tell the truth. Most judges are fair minded and the case has to be proven beyond all reasonable doubt, you do not have to prove your innocence, the police with the help of your wife have to prove your guilt.
    You could experiment on yourself with the effect of toothpaste and get photos of the result.
    Still it is a cleverer ploy than assault with a wheelbarrow.
    Trust the judge and do not talk anymore with the police.
    Best of luck. Keep us in touch.

  4. dunnuffinwrong says:

    Dominic thanks for your comments.
    Yes I’m carefull not to overreact as the pacifist inside me now wants to tear down the walls of everything.
    Its two weekends ago now and I’m beginning to calm down just enough to think straight.
    I have an appointment with Canturbury men’s centre to talk this through which I know is what I mostly need.
    I also have a legal aid interview tomorrow and although I don’t qualify for legal aid the might be able to find me a lawyer I can afford.
    Fortunately. (Apart from my former landlady)
    I haven’t lost the trust of a single friend or family member despite this horrible allegation.
    They know me better and of that I can still be proud.
    Also- I went in despair to see a long time family friend who is now a prison parish.
    Without listening to my woeful tale he told of his own story.
    He spoke of his regrets that he had left his wife and children and gone to England for several years after marrital problems. ” I should have stayed and fought for my marriage” he said.
    He said his kids are now very close and love him dearly and have long forgiven him for not being there.
    He said to this day the hardest thing for him is to forgive himself for that mistake.
    I went away and had a good think anout his words and realised , no matter what happens in court or what anybody thinks as a result of accusations-
    What happens two weeks ago was nothing ill ever have to forgive myself for.
    So Regardless of the outcome.
    I’m still a good guy.
    Thanks heaps for your advice. ( I take notes)
    I hope others will share theirs too. !!!

  5. dunnuffinwrong says:

    Thanks Andrew for posting a comment.
    Yes of course I have recreated the toothpaste trick and easily replicated the few scratches as well which turn bright orange when scratched through toothpaste.
    And then .. Oh my the skin on my hands has turned the same sickly anemic colour as in the photos.
    I would dearly love to be able to prove pergery.
    I can replicate the supposed injury with a tube of toothpaste in court in less that two minutes.
    If allowed to of course.
    I’m just nervous as if I was accused by another man its innocent until proven guilty but accused by a woman and its the opposite.
    And from what I’ve heard many assume your guilt regardless of the verdict murmuring that – that lawyer got him off. !

  6. FYI , I was convicted and discharged with not even a fine for assault , for pushing past each other , I was in the door way(that’s classed assault) my ex wife (on the night I got dragged out of my house) now, when it got to court many many months later as she got to stay in the house and keep everything we both testified against each other there was no witnesses no proof , no injuries ,judge said he was satisfied “something must have happened” and that was that.

  7. Scott B says:

    If she said you “scratched her chest” then the police should have checked under your nails for her skin/dna. I am assuming this didn’t happen. Might be a point to bring up? Maybe not. I don’t know. It’s just a thought I had as I was thinking of evidence.

  8. nameandshame says:


  9. Phil Watts says:

    No conviction should mean that the Family Court does not punish you. Sadly the Femily court is run by corrupt Judges who use crazy women and your children to have power over men and to take their money away from them.

    My advice is not to feed the monster.

  10. dunnuffinwrong says:

    Dear dominic,
    Thenkyou for replying to the post that I asked for help with entitled “toothpaste accomplice”
    I recieved many replies and im thankful to all those who responded.
    Your reply was the advice I chose to accept and ive folowed it carefully.
    You seemed to know exactly where I was and what would happen and time has proved you correct 100%
    Thankyou for clearly explaining to a confused man – what to accept and what to do.

    Its been six weeks since the day I was accused and im still strong.
    I got a cheaper lawyer who told me my case was simple and for no more than 3k he would defend me and I CAN expect to be found not guilty of this charge.
    Following your advice (and others) I thought about it and then paid money and set up an ap to pay the rest. I felt a little relieved as he had told me that only a fool defends himself and even if I tried id likely loose as im unable to question the “victim” (in the off chance she shows up) and police prosecution might trip me up on a question. Also my lawyer told me that with his help – the truth will be revealed and I will be “set free”.—unless the judge thinks your a liar. !!!!
    I said well that is a shame because id hoped that the case would be judged by the facts and evidence as well as the judges ability to pick truthes from lies..
    I asked about having the police photo used as evidence scrutinized by a forensic expert.
    No that costs many thousands extra. He reminded me that its a court of law. – not of justice.
    I said well if its not proven that she has fabricated evidence to frame an innocent man then how can I expect the law will prevent her doing the same to the next guy. He snapped back I shouldnt worry about the next guy. (Its my ass thats in the stir)
    I said im convinced shes done this before as she previously described the m/o and has shown me what toothpaste does to skin and that her previously passive husband who after twelve years who had agreed to separation “suddenly attacked her out of the blue in a violent frenzy ”
    So what of her past gets looked into to establish repeat behavior. ?? The reply was that her past was irrelevent and I was reminded that im “up” for a very serious charge and I had a good chance of “winning” ??
    I ended the meeting and returned after getting a call from police to collect some paperwork.
    It was a permanent protection order which bore conditions that I should must stay away and that I must sit for 52 hours of anger managment. (I couldve killed the prick!)
    My lawyer quoted me a further six thousand or more to defend it.
    Im confused ” dominic”
    Ive tried to get back to my lawyer as he asked for me to get in touch urgently two days ago and everytime I call his office looking for him its $350/hr in six min increments.
    Perhaps I will defend the protection order myself. Dispite being ousted from my home I have every email, text and photograph which easily disprove her allegations. Im very confident.
    Then let my lawyer take the cash and glory at trial of which im also very confident!

    But you know thats a pannacea.
    Theres no winning or glory when I walk out of court “free”

    No one will ever know how many men she has done this to or prevent her continuing.

    I will still walkout of there feeling robbed.

    My resentment will not be held to her – but to the police and to lawyers and to the courts.

    She will become just another psyco that I once knew but im giong to harbour resentment toward the rest of these fucking scabs for the rest of my life.

    I read through these forums and have had involvement with mens groups for years and realise im just case 1452. Another fool to go through the mincer and if I play nice and pay the money I can keep my good name.

    In these forums blokes are waiting with a comforting word and horror stories of thier own to remind me im not the only one.
    And then ill in turn join them and support others who have had no justice as if were all holding hands and singing while the next man has his life destroyed by obveous false allegation.

    Mabye my friend – theres another way.

    I dont want cold comfort and clearing my good name seems like a joke when ive got so little respect for those who claim to pronnounce it.

    What if I take this one for the team dominic ?

    What if I change my plea to “guilty by insanity ‘?

    And I dont mean guilty because ive done wrong. But insane because at 43 years of age I do not have the capacity to beleive that justice is done to an innocent man in the nz family court.

    I can show anyone who has common sence in five minutes that no crime occoured.
    Ive not lost one single friend through all of this as they know that im the type of bloke thats strong enough to man up to mistakes.(had he made one)
    Although my lawyer wants money so I can save my own skin I really do give a fuck about the next guy.
    I could ask the court for the maximum amount of time to read a prepared statement and tell those leaches just whats going on. I want to embarrass the court and shame the police with carefully chosen but direct statements.
    Heres an example.

    Lets not be the ambulance at the bottom, waiting for another good man to fall. but face the front and with your support and others I can dig us a trench that others can join in an I can stand for us all in that dock Doninic.
    Why — Because My name is William Russell Baldwin and I am an innocent man.
    My Late father Aaron Baldwin was a man of few chosen words but was clear on one thing.
    Bad things can only happen when good men do nothing.
    What if I asked mr potter to make a website for me explaining my defence and showing what im accused of so everyone could make up thier minds? And lend support if they wished.
    Perhaps some might send comments to the site that i can show to the court and help me make a statment that represented us all.
    Mabye some might be prepared to visit court that morning to have a group photo wearing tshirts that said “guilty by insanity” I can organise that.
    I have exellent references and statments and photoes that will prove my creadibilty.

    Now im not stupid mate. This is a very serious crime and carries a 2yr max as you know.
    But there were no injuries and its my first accusation so im unlikely to suffer thier wrath too severely.
    Ive already spent 50 hours checking the same paint job and im still brave.

    I dont pretend to know thier game but id be hoping the majistrate or the police will throw this out based on laCK of evidence.
    If not I get charged but sooner or later I want to walk away with pride.
    Either way my integrity and mana remains my own dispite what our stupid family law court thinks,
    So what do you thimk mate.
    Should I pay my lawyer to assfuck me and be greatful when they tell me I can go home?
    I had my home and my posessions robbed by police as you did.
    Your last words in your advice to me was “fight everything””

    Will men stand with me if I fight for us all. ?

    This comnent is directed to all who read this and Im greatful for every reply and comment
    I also invited you to copy and send this to anyone you might think would help in any way.

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