MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

Trauma Imbalance

Filed under: General — Lukenz @ 1:30 am Wed 30th April 2014

Story here.

Notwithstanding the new ACC policy is gender neutral, I would like to compare what ACC provide for (an almost exclusive female applicant) who has either been abused or allegedly abused to what men receive in comparison to loosing access to their children.

It sends a very clear message that this country cares nothing men’s mental anguish but provides an open chequebook for counselling woman and their difficulties coping with life after trauma.

I would put it that the men suffer serious ongoing trauma when they are parted from their own children and they should have access to help just as woman do as above. Maybe that could help the extreme suicide imbalance in between the sexes.

I’m not sure if ACC still provides gratuity dividend for victims of alleged sexual abuse but I do recall when that service came into being the complaints went bezerk.

Men’s mental health is largely ignored not only in NZ but thought out the world.


  1. Recognition of men’s mental health issues has made marginal progress over the centuries.

    Cowardice, became Shell Shock, then Battle Fatique, then Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but apart from occasions like Anzac Day there is little acknowledgement of any circumstancial impact on men’s lives, especially during times of peace.

    There was a memorial day for lost children, held outside the Auckland Family Court a few years back.

    Comment by Downunder — Wed 30th April 2014 @ 10:58 am

  2. As men who have had our children kidnapped by their psychopathic mothers, we need to put in claims to ACC to at least give some parity to the stats (although they will probably file the claim in the round file).

    Comment by Sane in an insane world — Wed 30th April 2014 @ 12:33 pm

  3. Chances are that anyone detrimentally affected by the their situation would also have a child support debt.

    Any (very unlikely) compensatory payment would likely go straight to the IRD and possibly to the mother.

    Comment by Downunder — Wed 30th April 2014 @ 1:04 pm

  4. And in other news the government announces that Rape Crisis gets an extra $10 million. Our votes are obviously worth nothing, womens are unbelievably expensive.
    Maybe if all men hammered by child support or the family court started voting Labour and made a fuss about it we would be bribed like this?

    Comment by Daniel — Wed 30th April 2014 @ 1:43 pm

  5. These comments assume rape and sexual abuse happen only to women – and serve to reinforce the shame and abnormality male survivors feel. Be careful – it’s not just women who are raped and abused, and men who experience it need as much support as women.

    Comment by MumAndDadofSix — Wed 30th April 2014 @ 4:32 pm

  6. The funding of sexual abuse counselling will eventually have to be offered to male victims too. As a real financial cost, this will eventually (in a very long time) focus attention on how to better protect men and young boys from sexual abuse by men and women.

    We need to look very carefully at all of the factors that drive perpetrators to sexually abuse, especially young boys.

    The incentives for women to sexually abuse boys include their own past victimisation, urgent need for sexual gratification and also financial incentives, such as rape to DPB, also known as ird-cs.

    By removing these incentives to sexual abuse, or providing safe legal forms of gratification, we can reduce victimisation of boys. Both women and men will benefit from better protection of children.

    Comment by MurrayBacon — Wed 30th April 2014 @ 8:54 pm

  7. I stand corrected, the organisation Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse is to get some funding out of that $10m pot. I will be interested to see how much, I guess that will depend on who is divvying it out.

    Comment by Daniel — Thu 1st May 2014 @ 11:01 am

  8. Sorry, rape to marriage should have been called bride kidnapping, or in the present situation rape to husband?

    A few years ago ird-cs reported over 150 underage boys being charged child support (statutory rape but surprisingly child support demands were still being enforced after a sex crime.) And who knows how many marriages were obtained when the alternative is paying child support to a woman who might never let you meet your children?

    Wikipedia doesn’t seem to be up to date about the new western variation of husband trapping, using ird-cs.

    Comment by MurrayBacon — Thu 1st May 2014 @ 12:42 pm

  9. One indicator of social trauma is the completed suicide rate. (Ideally it is necessary to adjust for suicides hidden among industrial deaths, road deaths and apparent natural deaths.)

    In this case, if we are comparing between women’s and men’s social trauma, we could compare the relative suicide rates to get a proxy measure for social trauma (Suicide by Émile Durkheim about 1897). This relationship is not universally accepted, but as social trauma is difficult to measure, the sucide rate is a useful indicator. Curiously, although NZ appears to show up well in Human Development Indices, it also has one of the highest men’s rational suicide rates.

    Circumstances change through the years. About 70 years ago, I understand that women’s suicide rates were much higher than men’s. Difficult to get an exact idea, as good quality suicide statistics were not kept then, as it wasn’t seen as a problem that anything could be done about.

    Prosecutions of suicides hadn’t proven very effective, for some unknown reason. I suppose that is why we now put so much effort into prosecuting many other minor issues (but don’t prosecute after Cave Creek, Mt. Erebus, Pike River, CTV Building collapse, where sensible prosecutions might save many hundreds of lives). I am getting really confused.

    Comment by MurrayBacon — Fri 2nd May 2014 @ 2:25 pm

  10. Im currently awaiting closure to on going false allegations,started by an unwell spouse ,picked up by social services, the perpetrator systematically telling key people [Feminist type professionals who live and work in glass houses]of ficticious abuse crimes , most which seem to have been picked up from news, either TV, radio newspapers or the worst medium of all …the Internet,exagerated and turned round to suit the circumstances.,…Suicde being one of the spouses so called cry for help,not carried out fortunately for our childs sake ,but in the interim ,asault,all kinds of abuse,verble, financial,just about every form of allegation anti-men groups have been able to supply, The stress is phenomenal.knowing Iwill probably not see my only child ever again ,because of his mothers greedand or her naivety to be influenced by the ANTI-MALE epidemic that is contaminating NZ AUSTRAILIA USA CANADA UK and the rest of the world ,..Ihave thought about Disappearing for ever even though I know I am not guilty ,Ihave tremendous support from many people around me , Its very hard to keep things quiet when the other half is being coached by councillers with degrees that have little or no life experience.

    Comment by alan g — Sun 4th May 2014 @ 12:28 am

  11. Alan G #10: Sad to hear what you are being subjected to. It will be important for you to think and respond assertively about this, while also expressing understanding of your (ex?) spouse’s fear, stress and mental health problems. It will be important that you don’t think catastrophically, e.g. stop thinking you will probably never see your child again. While it may be true that men face a massive wall of misandry everywhere they look, there is cause to have faith that some professionals involved will recognize that some of what your ex is alleging is delusional. Assume that when you respond. And don’t let your responses make you look like her allegations might be true; e.g. don’t let yourself be baited into shouting etc. Simply decide on each step you need to make, each letter, affidavit, meeting, and what you need to say. Prepare your responses carefully and carry them out in a matter-of-fact, businesslike manner rather than letting your emotions have much effect on them. However, make clear and strong (though calm and reasonable) statements denying the allegations. If you are aware that some minor behaviour of yours may have contributed to your ex’s paranoia in some area, admit that behaviour and show understanding that your ex, given her own background issues, may have built this up to a delusional extent. If you have knowledge of your ex’s background and upbringing (that you are sure about) that may have contributed to her thought disorder, inform any professionals involved of this. You can face your current situation and overcome it, especially if and when it comes to decisions in the Family Court.

    Oh, and by the way, avoid communication with your ex and avoid situations that put you at risk of being seen to do anything wrong.

    Comment by Man X Norton — Sun 4th May 2014 @ 10:04 am

  12. Oh, and by the way again Alan G: Find and gather good evidence, e.g. keep all documents, keep recorded messages, texts etc from your ex that show her thinking or behaviour being irrational or excessive. Gather the news articles whether written, radio or tv, on which your ex’s allegations are based and highlight where her wording is lifted directly from those articles. Obtain affidavits from friends and associates describing evidence of your ex’s upbringing and adult unwellness, irrationality or verbal/emotional/physical violence. Hold back your evidence until you have a quality or amount of evidence that cannot be refuted or ignored by those in power. Even then, hold it back unless and until you need to use it. Choose your moment for releasing that evidence, e.g. wait until something arises for which your evidence clearly shows your ex has lied or believes things contradicted by the evidence. That way your evidence has maximum impact whereas if you release it piecemeal it can become lost or reduced over time, or you will be seen as being a bully who is trying to discredit your ex unfairly.

    Comment by Man X Norton — Sun 4th May 2014 @ 10:18 am

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