MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.


Filed under: General,Law & Courts — sharingiscaring @ 6:40 pm Sun 29th May 2016

Hi Dads,

There is hope.

1154 days since my wife absconded and abducted my son to another man, full custody and care and control of my (nearly) 4 year old son was given to me by the Court.

To stay in the struggle to win my son, I lost my daughter, my company, my airplane, all my money, house, car, furniture and possessions, became unemployed for 9 months, and have fallen some $61,000 into debt.

Without the support of many, including those here on this forum it would have been impossible to continue. Thank you all.

Please continue to support each other.
Support is invaluable.

Strength for today, Bright Hope for tomorrow.
Yours faithfully,
Paul and Air


  1. Well done for maintaining your commitment to your son’s welfare. It’s a shame the FC took so long to recognize what his welfare might be. Good luck with raising him.

    Comment by Man X Norton — Sun 29th May 2016 @ 7:45 pm

  2. Kiha kaha. I’ve fought for my kids and won back equal custody that was taken from me so I know how stressful and expensive the time will have been. You must take strength from your courage and determination. It can define your life in a positive or negative way, depending on whether you dwell on it.
    Material things come and go, but our blood can live on. Hope you regain your daughter in the near future

    Comment by A dad — Sun 29th May 2016 @ 8:06 pm

  3. Who was the judge
    How many hearings
    Who was cponsel for the child
    Who did a good job for your son
    Who should be named and shamed for their role?

    If there is that level of difficulty, it’s best that she has minimal role, she will only work to ailinate your son against you. The window that the court has to stop this is small, they have to act early to stop it but don’t, they don’t appear to do any thing when mummy constantly does all,she can to sabotage access, activities, school, you name it they give her legal aid.

    Comment by Paul — Sun 29th May 2016 @ 11:22 pm

  4. For almost all of my life, a female has blocked my family relationships (often several at a time). Is it a kiwi thing?

    Comment by Peadar — Mon 30th May 2016 @ 4:53 pm

  5. Hello all and thank you for your comments.

    Man X Norton – this case was fought in Vanuatu which follows the NZ law system but does not have a Family Court. It is also has no experience with Parental Alienation or International Child Kidnapping – my ex-wife and her boyfriend are both Japanese and planned and have tried repeatedly to abduct the children overseas. Also the concept of International Human Rights of Children was new here, so there was a lot of issues to educate the Court on. Thank you for the kind wishes regarding raising him – have immediately sent an offer of access to our son to his mother, but sadly the Japanese side have filed two applications and an Appeal so the battles will continue through to the Court of Appeals in July.

    A Dad – Thank you for your questions.
    “Who was the judge” – the Judge was Judge Aru (Vanuatu)
    “How many hearings” – conferences, hearings and trials – over 30.
    “Who was cponsel for the child” – there was none. They had a series of 3 expensive lawyers. I had a number of lawyers until I ran out of money, was unemployed, broke and started representing my children my self.
    “Who did a good job for your son” – a lot of people helped and gave advice.
    “Who should be named and shamed for their role?” – I have returned to Christ and so do not wish to name and shame the guilty. It has been such a long and hard road I would though like to write a book about the experience.

    Regarding her minimal role. Yes it is tricky. Having come to see that INTERNATIONAL HUMAN IS ALL THAT STANDS BETWEEN JUSTICE AND THE RUTHLESS RULE OF BRUTE FORCE, MONEY AND DECEPTION I will bend over backwards to ensure that my children’s International HUMAN RIGHTS ARE UPHELD. Thus I have already sent a generous Access Agreement to her, which includes 70 nights a year to be arranged as she desires. Given the Japanese culture (lived there 10 years and saw a number of tragic family break ups) and their track record (this year when they had custody of my son they denied 35 attempts I died to see him) I fully expect them to sabotage access etc as you say.

    Peadar – Am sorry to hear about your troubles. Would say sadly such relationships problems are a universal thing. Best wishes for a new lady 🙂

    Strength for today, Bright Hope for tomorrow,
    Yours faithfully,
    Paul and Air

    Comment by sharingiscaring — Tue 31st May 2016 @ 10:42 am

  6. That would be like playing Russian roulette with the slim possibility that one chamber may be empty (subject to change at any time without notice).

    Comment by Peadar — Tue 31st May 2016 @ 7:07 pm

  7. 46 And He said, “Woe to you also, lawyers! For you load men with burdens hard to bear, and you yourselves do not touch the burdens with one of your fingers.

    52 “Woe to you lawyers! For you have taken away the key of knowledge. You did not enter in yourselves, and those who were entering in you hindered.”

    Comment by Peadar — Tue 31st May 2016 @ 7:40 pm

  8. Paul – Best wishes with being a Solo-Dad.

    Comment by Peadar — Wed 1st June 2016 @ 2:40 pm

  9. There should be some accountability by the government. All those resources have been removed and thus are not there for the benefit of the child. ( and the legal process continues).

    Comment by Vman — Mon 13th June 2016 @ 6:27 pm

  10. Hi all,

    Peadar thank you, will do our best.
    Vman, yes a full costing for each case would be fascinating to see the wasted resources because
    in the end the equation is simply,

    Sharing is Caring
    Taking is Breaking

    Yours faithfully,

    Comment by sharingiscaring — Tue 14th June 2016 @ 10:28 am

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