Shared Parenting but not as we know it
The young lady (Not her real name) was very up front about her history but proud of the length of time she had being (had been) drug free.
“I’ve even had hair follicle tests to prove it, and I passed those too.”
Telling me she really wanted to get her kids back, I asked where they were.
“With them (not their real name but a Māori organisation which I’m not familiar with)
I nudged in a few questions about their father;
“He wants them too but I think it’s only because he doesn’t want to go back to work.”
[By my understanding in the conversation the father is still involved and seeing the children once a fortnight]
But then came something unexpected.
“But we can’t get the kids back unless we work together.”
I hope it goes well for them because reading between the lines there must be a lot of people on the same page putting in a lot of effort.
The bottom line in her words though;
“It would have already happened by now if the court hadn’t been involved, now we have to prove everything to them too.”
Ali Mau said that being able to have some time away from your children [when separated], depends on having a good shared parenting agreement!
This video will disappear in 10 days. Things don’t last long in TV3.
It is The Project Wednesday 30th May 2018.
This is presented in a vacuuum but reading between the words
The only problem is “we” cannot get the kids back unless we work together.
The “we” may imply the gateway to more drugs and more parental dissolution into child abuse and neglect.
There is no doubt the personal focus is important but the family including the adult’s relationship is also an equally important unit and dynamic to focus on so that the dynamics that lead to the current situation do not repeat themselves.