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Suicide: ‘Don’t Mention the Facts’

Filed under: General — Ministry of Men's Affairs @ 11:01 am Fri 12th October 2018

Almost every article on suicide fails to mention the extent to which suicide is a gender issue, that men have over decades committed suicide around 3 times more often than everyone else. Here’s another one, a good article in most respects. Is it the editors who take out any reference to the gender issue here? Or are the people who write or comment on suicide all so well indoctrinated into political correctness that they automatically avoid mentioning anything that might suggest men are disadvantaged?


  1. Farmers don’t count.

    Comment by Evan Myers — Fri 12th October 2018 @ 4:02 pm

  2. How interesting this article suggesting guns are the problem.

    So next we will outpour millions into gun control within the farming communities.

    Comment by JustCurious — Fri 12th October 2018 @ 8:06 pm

  3. This article above does a good job at showing the male picture

    At 91 per cent, males were by far more likely to take their lives, and almost half of all suicides were under 40.

    But Beautrais said even though young males dominated the statistics, it was wrong to see one type of person as being at risk. She identified six different suicide risk profiles.

    By ethnicity, 77.8 per cent were New Zealand European, 14.6 per cent Maori, 2.7 per cent other European, 1.6 per cent Asian, 1.6 per cent Pacific Islands and 1.6 per cent “unknown”.

    The largest percentage (43) were married or in a de facto relationship, 27 per cent were single and 21 per cent recently separated or divorced.

    Maybe young farmers are not equipped for relationship breakdowns?

    Or is it something like the domestic violence act creating the relationship breakdown?

    Comment by JustCurious — Fri 12th October 2018 @ 8:14 pm

  4. Yes, I have been wondering this for a while…. that the European male is suiciding and the cause being pressure from the cutting nature of relationship breakdown, particularly when children are involved.

    Comment by mama — Sat 13th October 2018 @ 7:12 am

  5. and this also I wonder… from article above included in Momas’ post above.

    “He was loved by his mother, loved by his friends and loved by everybody around him.

    …of the young people who suicide how many have not had father in their life.

    I remember back in the early nineties suicide was being talked about and it seemed that high professionals like lawyers’ children were commiting suicide.
    Im my family two people, one male one female did it and they had grown up in farming.

    The isolation combined with lives too busy and fathers often absent through work committment have people thinking ” what’s this life for? ”

    It starts to point that Father’s are ALL IMPORTANT to the growth of vunerable children and them themselves, by that I mean they need to see themselves as important too.
    The lack of respect for men certainly is not going to help men already struggling.

    Voices of Hope are aware that men hold the trophy on sad final act but they are concerned about their generation, the young stats, and in a documentary they have made I doubt that the Fathers or Men will feature.

    No one is standing up to open the issue up to futher scrutiny, yet links may indeed be there for all to see, that Fathers’ malignment in society is starting to eat away as a negative impact. Why are not our Mens Groups’ NZ not being VOCAL, media wise or otherwise. What subject is more important for them.

    Comment by mama — Sat 13th October 2018 @ 7:33 am

  6. This might be slightly off topic but bear with me.
    I have a son who decided at 18 to live with his mum because she would give him everything he wanted and more where as I had a more strict set of rules about, getting a job, probably rent, contributing to the household chores.
    Since he’s been at his mum’s he’s taken over.
    He’s started to be physically abusive to his mum and to his younger sister (shes now living with me full time).
    He’s also taken to stealing money from his mum and this weekend he has admitting shoplifting.
    So I’ve tried to contact the police youth aid (impossible to track down), called a number of help lines ( all useless really).

    If there is no support that can get my teenage son back on the right path then it’s not a surprise we have such a high level of teenager suicide.

    I’m really stuck what to do. Any ideas? Oh and yes he has threatened to do something with his life but I suspect they are empty threats…

    Comment by A dad — Mon 21st January 2019 @ 1:53 pm

  7. #6 I think you’re far from alone here.

    The first problem of course is that this young man is now legally an adult, not your teenage son.

    As has been acknowledged by a government science-advisor our children’s social development is now retarded to the extent that it is taking a further 7 years to the age of 25 for us to see the same maturity we previously saw at 18.

    Authority over the situation is now confused.

    I noticed similar situations commented on during last year and in the media where circumstances had control of the individual and intervention proved difficult especially with mothers trying to deal with wayward boys.

    Perhaps someone who has had a sucessful outcome from a similar situation may offer a comment.

    Comment by Downunder — Mon 21st January 2019 @ 3:03 pm

  8. #6 – been through same. with an overly permissive mom, there is nothing you can do.

    For as long as you are trying to do anything, you will only be seen as the stick trying to redress your child and of course you will be at risk of false allegations.

    AS the system is at current, if you get allegations on you, they are likely to take your youngest daughter away from you and even if you fight it they will interpose a lot of interlopers under wardship or some other form of bail imposition that will basically deny you your every right until such time as they chose to realize it is all a mistake.

    Most likely though, a judge will be required to throw the case out of court before you can exhale again.And teh caliber of judge and representation you will get will be very determinative.

    I know it is the most horrible thing to say but the more you try to help this kid, the harder it will get between you and him.

    Leave the door open but you cannot be an enabler for him. So my only suggestion is cut him out and shut him down, completely. Walk away.

    I mean this temporarily only… make him feel as if you shut the door down. Because he will go to his mother when the shit hits the fan with you and then he will return to you when the shit hits the fan with the ex.

    as a parent we override everything when we think our child needs us… but a wise kid knows exactly how long to stay away for him to be missed enough to be forgiven for whatever he did that caused him to be kicked out.

    Allowing him to go back and forth and letting him manicpopulate you in between his mother and you gives him the ability to refuse to be accountable and will delay ad infinitum his need to stand up and take responsibility for his own bullshit.

    Life has to be his teacher and his own actions must now guide and steer him. But any participation from you is likely to jeopardize your relationship further.

    HE needs someone to rebel against and his mother now is in the throes of everything she has created to undermine your parenting, little knowing that for every action there is an equal reaction.

    IF she is in a new relationship, let that other man take his responsibility.

    my heart goes to you and I wish you well.Focus on that child you got in your care. Never engage with her about her borhter’s actions, activities and such. No judgement. no bitterness. Never talk negatively about her mother. Make her feel important, validated, supported and loved and use this chance to really empower her to make good decisions….

    When she reaches 15 if she is not already,she will most likely find that staying at her mom is easier because she is more permissive. I sugggest take every day as the last day and make sure you bring in as much positive memories as you can.

    Comment by JustCurious — Mon 21st January 2019 @ 4:09 pm

  9. and yes they will come around…
    and you will have a stronger relationship…
    but only if you let them go…keep your boundaries clear … and keep your standards raised, they will learn to respect the wisdom of your choices.

    you probably have done and are doing all I suggested. But that is what came to mind.

    Comment by JustCurious — Mon 21st January 2019 @ 4:13 pm

  10. #6,,,,A dad,,, such a difficult age these days,, life for them is so different than what we had.

    If I were you I would try to charm him back on track, put aside an evening a week or fortnight just for the two of you….do somethings that leads to bonding again even though it might take a while, sounds naff perhaps but we need to learn to laugh together or at least start to crack a smile.

    There are groups that young men can attend but if they are not into it, it is no use and the last thing you want is for him to be made to feel like he is a victim or a criminal, he is just angry.

    Comment by mama — Tue 22nd January 2019 @ 2:20 pm

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