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Reconciliation after seperation

Filed under: Law & Courts — MarkJ @ 11:39 am Sun 15th December 2019

Hi all,

I was wondering if anyone has experience with reconciling with their wife after seperation – following involvement with Oranga Tamariki (now discharged) and where the Father has full custody and a parental order for the Mother’s contact?

I’m wondering where to from here and if it’s feasible from a judge and lawyer for child’s perspective. We have both done considerable work to address the concerns raised by the OT (not violence or abuse). At this stage there is a round table meeting coming up before the DC to finalize contact. It has been 2 years since this all began and we separated.

I would appreciate any advice from anyone who has been through this.

Thank you


  1. hmmmm…

    unless you can describe what OT involvement was and why…
    it’s kinda hard to know if the passerelle to reconciliation has not been torpedoed a long time ago.

    HOwever if the progress you have made is because the courts had to step in and custody removed from her – which is uncommon – it usually means you are better off shutting that door.

    You are not safe and if you are as unlucky as I was, it will end up in the criminal court on trumped up charges.

    When certain people think they have the upper hand, they drag you through the corridors of InJustice.Come what may.

    But then when they find Justice at the end, they suddenly decide to reconcile, until the next time when they have earnt enough “kudos” credit to launch another attack on your sanity and the future emotional welfare and safety of your kids.

    Every involvement with her will be a set up… The Family courts cannot apparently tell the cops what to do. So if they chose to press charges, even lawyer for child or the family court judge will step aside and let them run riot over your kids lives.

    By the end of it, you will be glad to give up on your kids just so that you do not become a terrorrist and blow yourself and the entire justice system to bits.

    I think you already know the answer.
    Reconcilaition is a trap to make you look bad if you say “No – I have been hurt enough – I no longer trust you!”

    And they will try to bring the best interest of kids forward but that is bullshit.
    if they did care or had the capacity of caring for those kids, this present debacle would not be

    I have been there and tried reconciliation for the sake of the kids… it was one of the worst choices I have ever made…

    I say go back to court and make it 2 years without contact and then re-assess.

    Comment by JustCurious — Tue 17th December 2019 @ 8:07 am

  2. Hi Marc
    Getting back together is the best thing to do if possible. The children will be happy

    Comment by John — Tue 17th December 2019 @ 4:07 pm

  3. With a parental order is it possible to request it be removed
    If you both agree and feel you can manage without court involvement?

    Comment by Mark — Thu 19th December 2019 @ 3:13 pm

  4. I agree with JustCurious.
    I was in a similar situation and once we reconciled I was hit with a charger of MAF. This was later shown to be false but she still managed to gain custody due to the family court and criminal court working at different speeds.
    I would say stay far away it’s safer for you and your child.

    Comment by Rapopi — Wed 25th December 2019 @ 11:55 am

  5. You can not reconcile with the wicked.
    You ask how to not tempt the wicked, that they be not false.
    What then does the wicked have.
    It be the human judge.
    It finds the false witness, yet celebrates your escape.
    It frees the false witness so it’s burden is yours to carry.
    It plants the seed only for it to bear bad fruit.
    Eat humans from the bad fruit. It shall burden your body as it was wicked.
    Tax it human judge and be rich.
    It shall destroy you and not fulfil.
    Fear it be the wicked tempt you.
    That be the desire of the wicked.

    Tempt them to show they be wicked.
    They fear the most the truth, as they be false.
    Drag them from the darkness, into the light.
    Did you not see and hear the wicked already.
    It be the human judge that is wicked.
    It sent the wicked back to the darkness.
    It saw it in the light but did not judge.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Sun 22nd November 2020 @ 9:43 am

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