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Nurit Zubery wrote a thesis on the impacts of men during and after divorce.

Filed under: General,Law & Courts — Lukenz @ 1:00 pm Mon 12th April 2021

Interview on RNZ:

Nurit Zubery is a NZ feminist who is clearly not one of the man-hating variety.

She wrote a thesis on the impacts of men during and after divorce. She says there was very little world research on the impact of men divorcing. This is part of what she reported in her thesis.

Nurit Zubery’s masters supervisor is Auckland University Professor of Law Mark Henaghan.

She reports that Canadian Research shows;

  • Men commit suicide 4.8x more than woman following divorce.
  • Men are admitted to a psychiatric hospital 9x more after divorce.
  • Men have accidents double from 6 months before devoice to 6 months after divorce.
  • Men develop health problems at a much higher level like heart attacks and diabetes after divorce.

Cambridge research shows.

  • Almost 50% of couples divorce in the Weston world.
  • Woman initiate about 70% of divorce.
  • Woman do not have anywhere near the same severe reactions to divorce.

Nurit Zubery’s thesis is online here: How Men Experience Family Dispute Resolution Mediation.

RNZ Link Here


  1. I believe the person you are talking about is Nurit Zubery, but that thesis is still in progress and not available from the library yet.

    If I do come in contact with the link at a later date I’ll post a comment for you.

    Comment by Downunder — Mon 12th April 2021 @ 3:32 pm

  2. Thanks Downunder. I’ve corrected the spelling of her uncommon name.

    Comment by Lukenz — Mon 12th April 2021 @ 3:48 pm

  3. If you’re lucky JP might sort out the title for you.

    Comment by Downunder — Mon 12th April 2021 @ 5:09 pm

  4. She could be New Zealand’s own Cassie Jaye (Director of The Red pill.)

    Comment by golfa — Tue 13th April 2021 @ 3:21 pm

  5. Sad thing to listen too.
    Had to laugh when they proved males are better parents.
    That shows up in data, with solo mothers vs fathers as well.
    Heartbroken at the good dads, destroyed by bigotry.
    It was shown years ago in the UK, that happening to men.
    That the hurt, forces them to give up.
    Only a few years after separating, the dads disappear.

    In 2004 the government published data.
    Children are 350% more likely to be abused.
    If the mother has custody.

    Best interest of the child, is bullshit.
    Best interest of the mother, is policy.

    Funny how the lawyer tried to defend his mates.
    It’s only a few bad ones.
    The ones that help with false accusations.
    Which is all of them.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Tue 13th April 2021 @ 8:02 pm

  6. I hope Nurit Zubery extends her research further into the Family Court processes. Especially around the mismatch between what the law says about parental rights vs the biased outcomes that favour mothers. A key factor in this process is the lawyer for child who may interview children 2 or 3 times and then perceive that they know what is best for them. If the outcome involves fragmenting the relationship with the father, they are in direct violation of the Care of Children Act. The policy is supposed to be child focused. That a child should continue to have a relationship with both of his or her parents. That a parents gender is irrelevant. That decisions be made in a timely fashion. That a child’s care, development and upbringing should be facilitated by ongoing consultation and cooperation between his or her parents (s.4 and 5 of the Care of Children Act).

    Comment by ErasingDad — Wed 14th April 2021 @ 7:40 am

  7. Thanks erasing dad.

    I think you will find Mark Henaghan is on to it. He talks about the abuse of the without notice applications and the real reason why it is used. i.e. it has become the norm rather than the “on occasion exception”. Mark thinks it should change.

    What he recommends can become law. He just has to get past the narrative.

    Who is Professor Mark Henaghan? He is pretty much the family court professor in NZ.

    Henaghan, M., & Reynolds, S. (2020). The use of trusts and trust litigation as a form of financial abuse in Aotearoa New Zealand and what to do about it. Australian Journal of Family Law, 303-325.

    Henaghan, M. (2020). New Zealand Case Studies to Test the Meaning and Use of Article 5 of the 1989 United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. The International Journal of Children’s Rights, 588-612.

    Henaghan, M., & Ballantyne, R. (2020). International child abduction, intercountry adoption and international commercial surrogacy. In Routledge Handbook of Family Law and Policy (2nd ed.).

    Henaghan, M., & Atkin, W. R. (2019). Family Law Policy in New Zealand.

    Henaghan, M., Atkin, B., Ballantyne, R., Burnhill, S., Caldwell, J., & Swadling, K. (2020). Family Law in New Zealand (19th ed.).

    Henaghan, M. (2020). Family Law. New Zealand Law Review, 279.

    Henaghan, M. (2019). Children and Capacity. In Mental Capacity Law in New Zealand (pp. 179).

    Henaghan, M. (2018). Family Law. New Zealand Law Review, 513.

    Henaghan, M. (2012). Health Professionals and Trust The Cure for Healthcare Law and Policy. Routledge.

    Comment by Lukenz — Wed 14th April 2021 @ 8:47 am

  8. At the meeting between the Family Law Society and the Union of Fathers some 20 years ago the same subject of the abuse of exparte orders was part of the conversation.
    It was obvious that Simon Mitchell who was in attendance was a political representative of the Labour Party rather than any form of diligent law practitioner.
    He shouted that conversation down, vowing that there would never be any change in without notice applications.
    Don’t think that won’t still be a significant battle but if there is one head that should own the damage for the last 20 years then it is most certainly his.

    Comment by Bevan Berg — Wed 14th April 2021 @ 9:37 am

  9. Something I did not pick up on was the 7000 applications to court. That’s 27 per working day week. Or 135 per week. No wonder there is a growing backlog.

    How are they going to resolve that?

    Comment by Lukenz — Wed 14th April 2021 @ 6:34 pm

  10. #9. Yet I was at the North Shore Family Court 2 weeks ago in the afternoon and BOTH Courts were empty. I think the “backlog” narrative is bullshit.

    Comment by golfa — Wed 14th April 2021 @ 7:20 pm

  11. I think the backlog is caused by the lack of judges. Last year the justice dept increased the pool by bringing back judges out of retirement. In fact, the judge who bathed me in court orders was one who came out from retirement. They get the applicant’s affidavits via email and in the comfort of their homes start the process to dismantle your life.

    Comment by ErasingDad — Thu 15th April 2021 @ 1:30 pm

  12. Yes the dismantling of a mans life by taking his home, everything in it, his children and his income for years. How is he supposed to feel after that?

    Comment by Lukenz — Thu 15th April 2021 @ 9:58 pm

  13. As you do … angry at what is obviously wrong … dictated to by circumstances created by other people … threatened by the demands of other people … acutely aware of the cost and effort to create what has just been taken away from you … hamstrung by the authority that has determined your circumstances based on what suits the woman that has your children … what suits her interests rather than your children’s or yours or even what suits her insanity or some absurdity that has been proposed as being reasonable or normal … totally aware of what other people can’t see because they cannot or are not allowed to look into your isolated circumstances … like you’ve been dragged through a court of injustice and cannot make sense of how something like this could happen in New Zealand?
    All that and more; watching the pick n mix lolly shop it is for them and the consequence it is for you … like the outcome was determined before you even set foot on the stage.
    But you are so removed from society and normality that explaining this to other people is a task beyond yourself because you cannot find the words to allow them to understand your experience … it is incomprehensible to them and you’re hoping that when you finally get to read this thesis it might acknowledge the degrees of complexity and frustration you’ve been subjected to.

    Comment by Downunder — Fri 16th April 2021 @ 2:51 am

  14. Nice one Downunder. That’s exactly it. Whether we like it or not the construct of the family court is an organization run by women, for women. But don’t you dare point out the gender inequality. In my own hearing I was the only male in the room surrounded by 5 women (inc my lawyer :)). I remember my one and only interview with the lawyer for the children. I asked how on a Saturday I could be with my kids at sports and on the Sunday they are gone. She advised it was normal for the Mother to be sided with as it’s all about the consistency in welfare/child care for the children. She went on and said don’t worry if my report about you turns out negative because sometimes that’s a positive. Don’t contact me directly, you must go through your lawyer. Only the applicant can contact me directly. It was a script she had relayed to many men over many years.

    Comment by ErasingDad — Fri 16th April 2021 @ 3:12 pm

  15. I’m noI’m not going to link to the story and encourage it but if you were following the news this week you would have seen the article that was obviously the feminist response to what’s going on here.
    It’s always the case and you would realise this by now if you were in touch with that responsive agenda.
    If you didn’t see that then you are blind to the size and nature of the propaganda and the seriousness with which feminists will confront this situation.
    This is unfortunately the blind hope of disorganized men pinning their hopes on a single event. It’s White Lady Syndrome, often without the white lady.

    Comment by Downunder — Sat 17th April 2021 @ 8:32 am

  16. I agree. There’s enough of us now who have either been through or who are still enduring the reality of what is only read about. But what does it take to form a unified response from such men? What form should this take to ensure a sustained organized response that will last over time?

    Comment by ErasingDad — Sat 17th April 2021 @ 8:07 pm

  17. Only 3 weeks ago yesterday my wife (of over 10 years and mother of our 3 children) had Court orders served on me “without notice” on a Friday afternoon, leaving me no time to find my own legal council before the weekend.
    I had no idea what a “without notice” Court order was and was taken by a complete surprise at the time.
    My non-NZ born wife now wishes to apply for guardianship of all our children and taken them back to her home country, from which we left only a few months ago.

    # 16 ErasingDad – I’m with you on creating some form of a unified response, which may begin with visits and letters to our own local MPs maybe?

    I’m only 3 weeks into the process and so am currently focused getting unrestricted and unsupervised access to my children, whilst keeping them here in NZ.

    Comment by dadof3 — Sat 17th April 2021 @ 9:24 pm

  18. dadof3

    I am working on a website just now. I need the input of all here. It is going to explain the process and will have other resources to draw upon.

    We are with you. This will be a journey for you. You will need support. There are people here who will give you that support.

    Do you have a lawyer acting for you? Keep a weather eye on the costs as they can get out of hand.

    Are the children NZ born? Regardless, all efforts should be to keep those children in NZ.

    Do you have a place to stay?

    Comment by Lukenz — Sun 18th April 2021 @ 1:32 am

  19. #17 If you are in Auckland, this group offers the best free legal advice for your situation you will EVER get. Meetings are held every Thursday at 6.45pm in the Melville Cricket Pavilion, Melville Park, 18-20 St Andrews Road, Epsom. There is plenty of parking at the north end of St Andrews Road.

    Comment by golfa — Mon 19th April 2021 @ 8:46 am

  20. Who runs that group, Golfa? (If I may ask)

    Comment by Evan Myers — Mon 19th April 2021 @ 10:33 am

  21. It used to be run by the late, Jim Bagnall. Now it’s run by a Dad friendly FC Lawyer and a couple of us who have been going for years. I’m probably the longest running attendee at 16 years. There are a couple of others who have also attended for years. So we have a wealth of knowledge and offer practical advice to everyone going through the minefield that is the Family Court.

    Comment by golfa — Mon 19th April 2021 @ 3:44 pm

  22. dad of 3. Another place for free support and help with legal matter is Kids need dads.

    Comment by Lukenz — Mon 19th April 2021 @ 6:07 pm

  23. I remember this kidzneeddadz starting out in Tauranga … must be at least 20 years ago now.

    There’s always the quick fix optimists and then the few longterm realists with the resilience and patience to keep these things going.

    Comment by Downunder — Tue 20th April 2021 @ 7:35 am

  24. Most of the Dads Zurit found who had experienced mediation were clients of Kidz Need dadz,
    we helped around 500 Dads around NZ, each of the last two years, many in court

    Mark Henaghan needs to get out of his cushy chair and visit reality..
    Tell him to attend one of the DadzKare Groups flat out all over NZ,
    how many ways are Dads shafted, obstructed or left out in NZ?
    tax payer funded health systems that exclude by gender,

    Perinatal MH issues in NZ, 12% of Mums, 4% of Dads
    millions every year for Mums, zero for Dads..

    Courts or Cyfs/OT claim they know nothing,
    that’s how/so they can use Psychs and OT
    reports to ignore obvious money motives
    and in many cases justify erasing Dad?

    All we know is if we get in early,
    inform and encourage new parents
    support and educate lots of Dads,
    we may save the children’s sanity…

    Kidz Need Dadz DadzKare Groups

    Every Wednesday 7-9pm
    Onehunga Community Centre
    Lower Municipal Dr, Auckland

    Fortnightly Wednesdays 10-11.30am
    Community House, 301 Tuam St,
    Christchurch Central
    Bay of Plenty
    Every Tuesday 7-9pm
    538 Fraser St,
    Greerton, Tauranga
    DadzKare Wellington:
    Every Tuesday 7-9pm
    Natural Healing Raumati
    22 Margaret Road, Paraparaumu
    Masterton, Wairarapa
    Every 2nd Thursday 7-9pm ??
    Wairarapa Community Centre Trust
    41 Perry Street, Masterton
    Every 1st Thursday 7-9pm >>??
    3 Frankmoore Ave,
    Johnsonville, Wellington
    Palmerston North
    Every 3rd Thursday 7-9pm
    Manline Centre
    77/85 King Street,

    Comment by Brendon Smith — Mon 3rd May 2021 @ 9:51 pm

  25. #24 – Brendon, well said! The first indication something ‘bad’ was about to happen to me came from you back in July 2020. I reached out to you and told you my circumstances and that I was getting no response from the mother. You told me ‘it sounds ominous’. You were so right. Made homeless, crippled by child support, prevented from seeing my children for over 7 months and over $40,000 in debt, I have no choice but to walk away. I’m dumbfounded there is very little support for men and yet we told we are at the center of the problem. The money flows the other way.

    Comment by ErasingDad — Tue 4th May 2021 @ 8:32 am

  26. This goes back a long way and I’m not digging up grudges.

    You may realise now that the promise of funding for the original kids need dads was part of what was behind the shafting of union of fathers.

    So, possibly 15 – 20 years has returned us to the same place, although I can’t say I’m now overly familiar with the current situation.

    Just saying.

    Comment by Bevan Berg — Tue 4th May 2021 @ 4:26 pm

  27. I’ve just made some edits to Lukenz’s post. Some of the original wording was ambiguous, and has caused problems for Nurit when it turned up in Google searches.

    I’ve also added a link to the thesis:
    How Men Experience Family Dispute Resolution Mediation

    Comment by JohnPotter — Sun 2nd July 2023 @ 10:47 am

  28. It’s tame in pointing out, a vast gender difference.
    Outcomes for men, are not outcomes for women.
    Suicide by men much higher, even more car accidents.
    They talk about control, who has the power.
    If the mother says no, the father is powerless.

    The mother can refuse contact, between her and the father.
    Automatically that’s the children, contact is then impossible.
    Violence against men is ignored, but female statistics exist.
    Coercive control, is only presented as a male thing.
    The research is based around, what happens to women.

    All mothers, think the father is a useless parent.
    But the research says otherwise, fathers are good parents.

    Like a banned subject, female offending is off limits.
    The men’s stories, only scratched the surface.
    Do women have horror stories, because the men have them.
    Men 450% more likely to suicide, I wonder why.

    If that’s true, how many men did divorce kill last year.
    What is the death toll, of the family court.
    The evidence showing, just the threat is enough.
    Prior to divorce, accidents by car doubles for men.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Sun 2nd July 2023 @ 6:41 pm

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