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Parental alienation can cause the child to run away, self harm, suicide.

Filed under: General — Lukenz @ 4:19 am Thu 9th December 2021

I know this video is a bit US but there are parallels to NZ. First of all we dads experience parental alienation.

One of the things the NZ court does and continues to do is ignore alienation or not place a higher priority or importance on alienation. The US seems now to openly call alenation child abuse.

In minute 8:39 parental alienation is not commonly taught, it requires certain types of thinking.

The thinking in NZ is if a mother can successfully alienate the child, then the mother is awarded custody of the child and the family home, everything in that home. It’s a massive prize and reward. Rather than calling it child abuse in NZ we call it an abusive dad and the dad must be booted from the child’s life and have his home and stuff taken from him.

In minute 2:20 the alienator is assaulting the child’s memory, feeling, thinking, relationship with a parent.

In minute 9:37, the alienating parent is recognised as having one of three types of personality orders, or a commination.

1. Borderline personality disorder.
2. Narcissistic personality.
3. Sociopathic personality disorder.

In minute 9:49, in the US 22 million parents, adults are the victims of parental alenation, and they are not reciprocating those behaviours.

Hurting the relationship with dad has its price. It can cause the child to run away, self harm, suicide.

In NZ we wonder why we have a high rate of suicide, why we have massive growth in gangs, doubling from 2000 to 4000 in just 5 years.

The NZ Government and the Family Court need look no further than themselves and their thinking. The US is evolving, NZ is not.


  1. Good find Lukenz. From my experience the Family Court overlooks mental health issues. I had a judge who supposedly has a special interest in mental health, is an advisory to mental health groups and yet she openly ignored the evidence around the mental health of my ex-wife.

    She also ignored the fact that my eldest threatened to commit suicide on multiple occasions and was abandoned on the roadside by his mother. This all occurred after I was served the PO and left the home.

    As recently as a couple of months ago, the principal family court judge refutes the court is biased and broken. The barrage of anti-men rhetoric coupled with service after service for battered women (and now even their pets!) drowns out a balanced and fair outcome for men.

    Comment by ErasingDad — Thu 9th December 2021 @ 7:25 am

  2. Judges refuse to accept that women can be psychological terrorists who don’t love their children.

    And that they are holding them captive for their own convenience.

    Fathers are forced to watch their children subjected to this, their children’s desperation while family court psychologists make excuses for the torture of the child by the mother.

    Comment by Evan Myers — Thu 9th December 2021 @ 8:31 am


    Comment by Evan Myers — Thu 9th December 2021 @ 8:55 am

  4. Can relate to this. After years of alienation my daughter attempted suicide in January this year. Without any evidence (or indeed looking at evidence which clearly refuted my ex’s statements) the Court deemed I was a danger to her and cut all contact “until her mental health stabilises”. Since having no contact she has made 3 further attempts on her life and according to her school she is worse and hardly ever there now. However, The Court doesn’t seem interested in this now until there is a hearing long into the future and by which time – if she is still alive – even more irreversible damage will have been done.

    Comment by Kbec — Thu 9th December 2021 @ 10:17 am

  5. While at school though they will be seeing a school counselor in confidence.

    You’ve got another terrorist in the kids ear.

    Comment by Downunder — Thu 9th December 2021 @ 10:36 am

  6. Kbec I can fully understand that with my own case.

    5 years ago my daughter harmed herself. Ot got involved and claimed she was abused by me and her step mum. We both have axx cut off. Never went past family court. I’m not to make contact what so ever. Christmas coming up and I still can’t even send her a present or even let her know I miss and love her. It’s been hell on all the family.

    Comment by 2c worth — Thu 9th December 2021 @ 12:42 pm

  7. It’s good but incomplete.

    The most important part I think was the concept of how people who wouldn’t do it couldn’t understand the experience.

    We come back to the other side of the argument. Just disappear and don’t put the kids through it.

    You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

    Comment by Downunder — Fri 10th December 2021 @ 12:29 pm

  8. I am not a lawyer, I do not claim to be a legal expert. I do however claim to be a person who can read words in a sentence and workout what they say.

    The Family Violence Act does not have the term “Parental Alienation” or even “Alienation”

    I searched the Family Violence act and searched the term “Psychological Abuse”, wondered if that may be referring to parental alienation.

    Section 11(4) says
    Psychological abuse may be or include behaviour that does not involve actual or threatened physical or sexual abuse.

    You know I think it does.

    The issue is the New Zealand Family Court chooses to ignore the outcomes for a child who has been alienated by the other parent.

    The only conclusion is the Family Court it content with the collateral damage to families the includes suicide when balanced against the feminist narrative. To conform to an over-searching set of aims or values. Feminist values.

    The New Zealand Family Court is content with,

    1. Children running away,
    2. Child self harm,
    3. Child suicide.
    4. The creation of gangs instead of families.

    Comment by Lukenz — Sat 11th December 2021 @ 10:30 am

  9. What you might expect now is a social extension of the family court processes is seen through the eyes of Covid.

    There will be the opportunity to isolate children in particular from grandparents.

    Comment by Evan Myers — Sat 11th December 2021 @ 11:25 am

  10. Parental alienation is not a subject, feminism likes.
    For a simple reason, as the video points out.
    What looks like the victim, is the abuser.
    And what looks like the abuser, is the victim.
    And courts can’t tell the difference.
    There is no justice, in the Family Court.

    It exposes everything as a scam.

    No wonder the lawyers proposed banning fathers from child interviews.
    Hate men Feminists love the system.
    It is perfect, for the female abuser.
    Any complaint, arbitrarily believed, by the system.
    The father, naturally experiences things like anger.
    Causing him to display behaviours of an abuser.
    When it is actually behaviours of a victim.
    His fate sealed.

    The courts then support the abuser, as policy.
    Ignorant, of reality.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Sat 11th December 2021 @ 9:22 pm

  11. @10

    The female victim is the abuser of children and dads. It is the destruction of the family unit for property, vast sums of money.

    The easiest ways to own property and guarantee ongoing income from fathers.

    Comment by Lukenz — Sat 11th December 2021 @ 10:52 pm

  12. Classic media propaganda.

    It doesn’t say mum abused by father.
    Can’t use the word father for this man.
    He is not allowed to be one.
    Not that they have a reason why.

    A Protection Order denied.
    So not actually violent.
    Apparently fighting in court to be a parent.
    Is a crime, it’s published in the crime section.
    She can with the paper, get police to do things for her.
    Like stop him, wanting to be a father.

    “Lawyers for the woman said she was suffering extreme harm, including multiple stints in a psychiatric hospital when she became overwhelmed by the man’s repeated attacks on her character under the guise of a custody case.”

    If a man was put in a psychiatric hospital, no matter the excuse.
    100% of that, would be open for discussion.
    They have zero chance, of winning custody decisions, if it was a man.
    Overwhelmed by what, it’s easy to blame the man.
    She wants 100% and him none.
    It points out, he wants shared care.

    It gets worse for this man.

    “and made false allegations against her, including that she had made things up to manipulate him.”

    You lied, about me lying.
    So who’s lying.

    “When she was being treated in hospital, the couple’s 12-year-old daughter had to be cared for by others as the father was not allowed to be with the child alone.”

    Why? Reason not given.
    No wonder he is fighting in court.
    He is so dangerous, he can’t be alone with a 12 year old child.
    His own child.

    “In submissions to the High Court, he said the judge gave insufficient regard to the fact the father had engaged in longstanding violence while knowing he was harming the mother and then child.”

    So judges, the actual abusers.
    Endless court cases, zero solutions.
    Zero, equal treatment.

    “He didn’t accept his parenting or conduct was concerning, the judge said. He believed his was being unfairly excluded from his daughter’s life. He also saw himself as a victim of what he called the mother’s “controlling behaviours”. He also didn’t trust the court professionals, and had a strong sense of grievance about allegations against him”

    We get the point, it’s a parental alienation case.
    Abused at the beginning, he withdraws to recover.
    Then attempts to do the right thing, to be a father to his child.
    The one abusing the rights of the other, looks like the victim.
    It is not the man, with everything.
    Why not talk of the abuse, the psychological abuse the man experiences.
    The mum fears, losing her daughter completely.
    That should not happen.
    The father, has lost his daughter completely.
    And he suffers, for no justifiable reason.
    Custody would be reversed, if the genders were reversed.

    Cases like this disgust me.
    This mans treatment is cruel.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Wed 15th December 2021 @ 7:52 pm

  13. Individually + the last one, blinding sights of ignorance, which is what NZ Family Court follows.

    Comment by Lukenz — Fri 17th December 2021 @ 8:20 am

  14. That’s a very good set of videos.
    Delves into many subjects.
    Recommend watching them.

    So 1/2 of victims experience suicidal thoughts, in a year.
    Damming criticism, of law and mental health.
    Any child who says no to seeing a parent, is a big red flag.
    Something terrible must be happening.
    But they don’t investigate, or judge by intuition.
    When the opposite is the truth.

    The last video has an interesting argument.
    That it’s like a virus, programmed into humans.
    With its own defence, and offence strategy.
    The person with it, passes it on.

    Good discussion on creating false allegations.
    What a nightmare.
    How can you tell what it true now.
    Strangely the abuse, did happen to someone.
    Just not to this child, but likely to the accuser.
    Sad twist, to the subject.

    Well the harm these experts describe, is not good.
    The family court has created, a generation of damaged children.
    With damaged brains, and dysfunctional humans.
    The word malpractice, was used.


    Finally back to work, as I was locked out.
    There is something fulfilling, about making things.
    It is good to do a days work, getting ones hands dirty.
    And to get out of the house, back to normal life.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Fri 17th December 2021 @ 7:43 pm

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