How 2 children remember their mother
I search Kathleen Dehmlow and found there was an article how the children should forgive her for something that happened a long time ago.
Here’s the thing, the children were not children when they wrote this. They had lived their lives. A destroyed childhood by their mother. Had to be raised by grandparents for many years. Had to compare themselves to other children in their class, explain their situation to their friends. It carried on for years and into full lifelong adulthood.
That situation is not recognised as child abuse. But it damn well should be.
It was a different society then to what we see now and even though it was a more stable environment separations did happen.
Children usually remained with the father who still paid for the upbringing even if they stayed with other family.
The complete severing of contact in my experience is not uncommon.
Interestingly I’ve also found adult children to be more forgiving of an an abusive mother than absent one which in spite of the changed social circumstances still seems to be the case.
Comment by Evan Myers — Sun 16th January 2022 @ 8:23 pm
For all of us, is death approaching at its own pace.
It is inevitable, that it is humans that judge after death.
Even writing epitaphs, of ones deeds.
Even the gravestone, is an evolution of humans defying nature.
What of the pauper and criminals grave, or the grave of an empire builder.
Certainly the good and successful, get rewarded in judgement and near posterity.
And those that fail the cruel tests, of humans.
What then in judgement, should be on this gravestone.
Are there not countless others, with bad and good stories.
Comment by DJ Ward — Mon 17th January 2022 @ 7:35 pm
We are all remembered, for the things we do.
A thousand people, have little memories of us.
Some leave much bigger marks on history, than others.
I have been reading, about tyrants.
Some are glamourised, like Alexander and Genghis Khan.
They were brutal killers, with no emotion to murder.
I cannot help to think, ego is very important to them.
Someone who checks his clothing, to perfection as an example.
Or shows his manliness, in a photo shoot.
Other signs include, punishment for any dissent.
Killing off, any perceived threat real or imagined.
And a continuous desire to create, imaginary wars.
That is the path to greatness, for the ego of the tyrant.
It is all false in reality, as they are blindly inhumane.
The tyrant destroys, it’s reward is infamy.
So I watch as city’s are destroyed, just as others destroyed city’s.
What then of the captured citizens, dissent an affront to the ego.
The history of the tyrant, cannot be repeated again.
I still have hope, in the people of Russia.
Comment by DJ Ward — Tue 15th March 2022 @ 10:14 pm
I had a few memories today, of an important person in my life.
His name was Koenraad Vrijs, and he died when Diana died.
In many ways, he was the grandfather I never got to have.
But he helped me, to better understand the world.
As after work, we would sit together and talk.
Him living in his little house, and me in a caravan.
We talked about politics, and philosophy.
He would challenge what we see, and what’s happening.
Who gets the money, and what the opposite was.
I remember, his stories of WW2 occupation.
And him killing a German, in self defence at the wars end.
His stories of immigration to NZ, and his life’s example.
The topic of the day, with coffee and cigarettes.
He was a rare find, as I could talk freely with him.
And above all he was respected, by his children.
Comment by DJ Ward — Sun 10th July 2022 @ 12:09 pm
This is a good read, about our rights after death.
https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/130782361/were-part-of-history-you-cant-erase-us-mongrel-mob-fight-ban-on-gang-insignia-at-cemetery
They could buy there own land, and have there own cemetery.
Then they to, would create rules about the display.
Maybe to the mobster, some things are offensive to them.
The article argues well, about the person’s identity.
That even if we don’t like it, it was the persons truth.
It then questions, what is offensive to people.
The symbol had a meaning, that’s not your understanding.
“We’ve been around so long that we’re part of New Zealand history and you can’t push that under the table. I go up there and every third grave has a cross – the symbol so many of us were abused under. I could take offence at that.”
The comment implies, a comparison between what is abusive.
Public perception, of gangs being abusive in some way.
Or reality of religion, even bad people can be religious.
By the headstones, neither will actually say there sins.
Comment by DJ Ward — Sun 18th December 2022 @ 8:52 am