MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

Suicide and Reason

Filed under: General,Law & Courts — triassic @ 4:42 pm Tue 26th September 2017

Zdenek (Sid) Hanzlik’s suicide is a very sad event and may have been triggered by several issues but without doubt the main protagonist was the Family Court and Family Law. The slide into the abyss of despair through a life without perceived meaning for many fathers is the needless separation and complications, in regards to their children, arising from a system that overtly favours mothers. The law, and the administration of it, fails to acknowledge men’s existentialism and how it is tied to their connection with family. Sid may have believed that his death would have a dramatic positive effect on the way fathers are dealt with. Unfortunately he under estimated the power that feminist ideology holds over the media. His suicide instead will be seen as a violent act against himself.

I also, at a very low point in time, considered the same fate but was lucky enough to read  DR. VIKTOR E. FRANKL’s book of his life in Auschwitz and Dachau, ‘Mans Search for Meaning’
In it he states……

“A very strict camp ruling forbade any efforts to save a man who attempted suicide. It was forbidden, for example, to cut down a man who was trying to hang himself. Therefore, it was all important to prevent these attempts from occurring….

I remember two cases of would-be suicide, which bore a striking similarity to each other. Both men had talked of their intentions to commit suicide. Both used the typical argument – they had nothing more to ex- pect from life. In both cases it was a question of getting them to realize that life was still expecting something from them; something in the future was expected of them.

…A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the “why” for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any “how”. 

When Sid’s thoughts became dominated by his pain and sense of injustice he lost his balance. Unfortunately the Ministry of Health does not recognise suicide as a gender issue, despite the glaring stats, therefore there is no specific funding to deal with the issues that Sid experienced. I am determined to make changes in this area.

If you have children, no matter how tough things get, you have to hang on for them as it’s a responsibility you have to bear.


  1. A great post. So many men have gone this way.

    Imagine the following: Some kind of sect invented a social system where men had total ownership of children. These men then invented an ideology of grievance which enabled them to get tax funded divorces. In this divorce process they obtained ownership of the children; 50% of the assets; 30 % of the income of their working ex-wives; $ 20,000 – $ 30,000 of taxpayer funds per year so they could put themselves through varsity or life a life a relative leisure.

    Imagine the ex- wives, the mothers of the children, who loved the children with all their hearts; crying at home in their dismal flats because they were not allowed to see them; condemned as bonded labourers to eke out a living, because most of their disposable income was expropriated for the benefit of the custodial parents who oppressed them; hanging themselves in despair; burning themselves outside parliament in protest of the Family Court putting them through a sham process.

    Would anyone care ?

    If men really knew to what extent they were oppressed they would rise up.

    Comment by Joseph — Tue 26th September 2017 @ 11:53 pm

  2. I’m interested in this line:

    “I also, at a very low point in time, considered the same fate … “

    Were you encountering a situation that was not of your making, but either didn’t know how to extract yourself from it or blamed yourself for ending up in it, even though you weren’t quite sure how you ended up there.

    Comment by Downunder — Thu 28th September 2017 @ 8:00 am

  3. Thinking about this protest and your comments reminds me of something I found helpful in my darkest days.
    One bit of professional advice that was given to me, a father, when faced with losing my children in the family court through no fault of my own was this:
    You have choices. There are no good choices but you do have choices. In this situation, each choice is a valid choice.
    Each choice has costs and benefits. Some of which may not be immediately apparent.
    You can fight all the way through the courts.
    You can walk away.
    You can find something in the middle or a little of both.
    These are all valid choices. Don’t ever let anyone tell you it is not a valid choice.

    I think this helps. I fully support fathers who fight all the way and I fully support fathers who except it is pointless and walk away. These are all valid responses to the overwhelmingly obstructive and biased system fathers face. I am totally unconvinced that one approach is more effective or “worth it” than another. There is little evidence to support such claims.
    I think this approach helps people to understand that it may not matter how much a father does, or doesn’t do, it quite often will not change the outcome.

    Jesus Christ himself would never be allowed to be a father under the family court process. I mean that quite literally.

    Comment by Vman — Thu 28th September 2017 @ 11:27 am

  4. Excellent post, and great comments Joseph @1 and Vman @3.

    Comment by Man X Norton — Thu 28th September 2017 @ 11:55 am

  5. no progress over 20 years
    Ask yourself why ?
    Every situation is different of course.
    For the more serious of us on the wrong endvof the stick.
    The right to a fair trial and not be echoed enough.
    For those that interfere with natural justice, they should be
    held to account to the highest degree.
    Obtain the evidence and pursue.
    I am starting with Internal Affairs.
    I have requested a Commission of Inquiry for the right to a fair
    trial. Most of the evidence is all over my Facebook.

    Comment by Colin Brown — Mon 2nd October 2017 @ 11:05 pm

  6. …A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the “why” for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any “how”.

    This helps me. Its now been 2 months and I still have been estranged from my 7 children not even a phone call, my partner is abuse the children and myself and she has all the power. My partner and I comitted psychological abuse to one another for years in front of the kids due to our dysfunction. One day she called the police and that was the end of me seeing my partner, kids and ever being able to go home. I have no family in NZ and the family court does not care about fathers. Every thing is handed out ex parte and I’m left shocked, lonely and desperate in a loop of reactive depression. I really want to protest against this vile act of breaching human rights in modern life. Why is this aloud to happen, nothing should be set in concrete before a hearing or conference. Unless a women is physically hurt this should not happen to anyone.

    Comment by jbmoocs — Tue 3rd October 2017 @ 3:25 pm

  7. jbmoocs @6: Without-notice orders are a travesty of justice, at least if they last more than a week or two.

    However, I would encourage you to represent yourself in the Family Court which now does generally and eventually try to maintain fathers’ involvement with their children. Write your own affidavits, get a support person or McKenzie Friend to assist in this, then pay for 30 minutes of a good lawyer’s time to read it and offer editing suggestions. Assertively refute false allegations and provide evidence from other people, medical records etc if possible. Then represent yourself in the hearings, being careful to portray the reasonable husband and caring father that you are.

    Comment by Man X Norton — Wed 4th October 2017 @ 10:58 am

  8. Thanks mxn.Had I known earlier I would have done that. The lawyers, including lawyer for child are milking us. My ex thinks this a game. But it’s all coming out of relationship property that hangs to feed the the FC system aka Godzilla.

    Comment by jbmoocs — Thu 5th October 2017 @ 9:29 pm

  9. Information flowing more freely is making the subject more visible.

    I see Young Farmers (the organization) expressing concern about rural suicides, in particular young men under 30, as has been the case in the past week.

    Previously, I viewed this very much as an urban issue. Has anyone researched fluxuations in urban/rural comparisons outside of drought related issues?

    I am also wondering if it is the case that these are young men coming from the city in search of work.

    I’m struggling to understand this trend.

    Comment by Downunder — Fri 15th December 2017 @ 7:08 am

  10. It’s possible the change of government could have affected many in progress applications in the Family Court or there could be a spike in protection order applications.

    I don’t anyone will be volunteering those answers in a hurry.

    Comment by Evan Myers — Fri 15th December 2017 @ 9:11 am

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